1934-11-23 — Page 6

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FRIDAY.

NOTES OF THE DAY

ALARMISTS ANSWERED

л

NOVEMBER 23, 1934.

MODERN VIEW OF

SIAM KINGDOM

+

By SIR PERCIVAL PHILLIPS

COON after the King of Slam traffic. In the streets of Bangkok,

The Very Idea!

INTERVIEWING GEORGE

By Eddie "Caatlerosse" Kelly WHEN humorist meets *

humorist, how do they greet each other? Does their talk Lubble over with wit and scintil Inte with opigram, or do, they, even an you and I, dracend to discussing such subjects as closing hours and the dollar quotation?

In the tone of solving 'this in. triguing problem, the Telegraph arranted for 'Mr. Edward Kelly, Its well known half-wit, to inter- flow George, the cher half-wit. The meeting of the wo half-wits, wad to relato, resulted in two full wits, the Tenue unfortunately being the Hongkong Hotel D.

Now read on.

George

'Ullo!

In the tumult af accuantiona which have been heard against Cor many in Paris, one voice han benn raised to call to order a public which seemed infected with panic. It was that of the capable and

inst winter I arrived in Bangkok, the soldiers und sailors one meets clear-headed chief of the Air

A Regency had taken over the along the busy river front, bear Aliniatry, General Dannin, who

The capital was themselves with an independent; knows what he is talking about government. Un several occasions recently the quiet and the people were as calmi air which is in no way aggressive. French press has birst into print and cheerful as ever, but beneath The inferiority complex is utterly with tales of enormons German air, the surface of thinga one could lacking.

detect feling of ancasiness and certain armaments. In London,

And they are progressive. The newspapers warneil against the uncertainty,

The leaders of the last revola-state railway service would "Jo the Rhine menace from Berons where xom author,ties insitionary rising were in prison. credit to any nation, Bangkok, ha n. fleet of war planes. 40,000 strong Suspects were still being gathered a fine new central station which few in the police wore searching I prefer to Victoria. Trains run conid be mastered within

Such allegations seemed a, houses and offices; much eubver-exactly to time and are clean aud meaths. trille far-fetched to mest observers Aive propaganda was in circulation comfortable. The express linking and at hotte and abroad, but the ered by underground channels, and the capital with Pennag lous wern worried. They were conversation on political toples Singapore is composed of aleeping and dining cars as comfortable na more concerned still when the Daily was extremely guarded. Afail announced that half of The kingdom was impoverished those of the Royal Scot,

Mr. Kelly (politely): Good morn- Britain's air feet of 500 machine and its finances were in a chaotic travel from Bangkok to the frontier Ing. Georgel I was wondering Atate. Anti-royalist sentiment of Indo-China in carriages com- if you could lend me ten bucks was antiquated. What could in

until the end of the month? Air Force of such a aize and quali- manifested itself in many ways, parable to any in Great Britain..

The wooden stationa are well ty do against an invading armada and the influence of Communist|

George: Oh, you were, live to ten times as numerous? It agitators was apparent in certain kept and the ground around them now appears, however, that the sections of the so-called Republi- la trim and tidy. Stationmasters you? German "menare" is much ex-can movement,

aland at attention with a friendly Mr. Kelly: Yee, I were I heard strong criticism of the smile as your train moves away, was nggerated. General Denain de-

am. Why, n, splendid clares that Gerninny's air strength King for having spent money and the entire countryside through fellow like you. What 1 mean to will not be more than 1,100 lavishly on his previous tour of which you pans smiles with them any well, anyway, what's it machines at the beginning of 1935. Europe and America. His lack of Frontier guards are as strict as feel like to be a humorist? There is no denying the fact that sales realstance In the United any Balkan police in the matter:

according to Germany in Increasing her air States,

popular of visas, bat although their meti. Armaments: but who is not? The opinion in Bangkok, led to his be-culous observance of immigration fact that she is purchasing aero- ing emothered in motor-cars and lawa is sometimes Irritating it is plane engines in Britain and every other mechanical product done with perfect courtesy. Amerien should not cause Paris likely to appeal to an enterprising It is difficult to think of them ng inns, whose air fleet is the biggest and progressive monarch. He re- 撞 revolutionary-minded people. George (enttishly): Yea. You're in the world, very great anxiety: turned with an expenses account They give the impression of being better off than I am. You don't nor England, either.

of staggering proportions which tou engrossed in the pleasant hars to net. was received with consternation business of living their simple!

COMING TO HONGKONG

hna

You can

wore

George (after long and morbid'. thought): I don't know.

Mr. Kelly: It must be awful to have to net the goat for a living.

by poverty-stricken Ministry of lives to bother with affairs of Mr. Kelly sternly): George! Finance.

government,

•

of waterways

of

Please remember that you Aro

being interviewed for the Hong- kong Toicgraph. How did you come to take the name of George, and why haven't you a surname?

George Caulkily): My father

Mr. Junn Trippe, head of the Pan-American Airways,

rle-

The crowded And now he had gone off again finitely announced that his big on another circuit of the world, Bangkok, where thousands Sikorsky flying boats will presently certainly to undergo # second families live in crazy wooden huta commence their trans-Pacific sche-operation on his eyes, but actually, on stilts and go shopping in the dule. They will make test flights in the opinion of his critlent subcarly morning in flat-bottomed in February, 1935. That is only jects, to increase his heard of boats, have no resemblance to the gave it to me. three months away. When they gadgets for which they could slums of a capital from which re- volutionaries are recruited. Their leave California, they will fly vin afford to pay. Hawaii, to Manila, and they are I asked a member of the foreign ramshackle, unpainted caricature supposed to be coming to Hong colony who had lived for many of Venice is steeped in cheerful kung. We have not yet been told years in Slam when the King was ness, if one can judge by the kind- what is the local official reaction to expected to return. "The Kingly faces that grin responsively at this scheme, and I would be will not come back," was the aur-every passing launch, interesting to know how far the prising reply. "Ife has seen the Pan-American Airways pinnes will handwriting on the wall. The re-

Ashore in the unpretentious

Mr. Kel.

Ceorge:

name, I gue,

Why 7

CLUBE It was hin

Mr. Kelly: Oh! Your father's name wha George and your mother' name was Gorgina?

FRIDAY, NOV. 23, 1934.

INDIAN REFORMS

Whilst the more

extreme elements both in England and in India are disappointed at the report of the Joint Parliamen tary Committee setting forth definite proposals for Indian constitutional reform, a close [reading of the summarised ver- sion of this ponderous document conveys the impression that a problem of extreme complexity he assisted in their projected servolutionary movement will rise business and residential quarters has been quite reasonably sice to China. Hongkong may feel again, and he realicses that if he you find the same carefree spirit, Mr. Kelly: How did your father handled. It has been a labori-

some mortification that Imperial is here he will be assassinated, perhaps a little more reserved, but and mother know that your name ous process, spread over a period Airways has not taken the first step, You will find him in the near as discernible. The Westernised) was George?

towards linking the Far East with future safely lodged in some young Slamone takes his recreation of six years, to evolve the plan the Occidental capitals, but busi- foreign country, probably in Eng in the European way; he goes in knock my glass over.

Georice (fearfully): Hll 'Don't now put forward, and in the

nesa men will nasuredly welcome land, with sufficient funds beyond for sport with hearty zest; at night course of the protracted inves-any trans-Pacide air link which the reach of his enemies to ensure you may find him in a well-con- Mr. Kelly: All that stuff you tigations representative Indians will bring the Colony within three him a comfortable future.

ducted cabaret decorously applaud-| write in the "Very Idea" about and Britons have been called days journey of America.

He added darkly, "I would not being the strange but graceful dances bear. Do you ever get any rea? into close consultation. The

surprised if there were executions of a native ballet, or watching beer sent to you? magnitude of the task will be

in Bangkok before the year is with appreciative eyes a comic

film in one of Bangkok's gaudy George: No, damitall. A man'» realised when it is pointed out

out."

got to buy his own here. cinomas.. that the reforms involve conver

If there are, the revolutionary The police keep his recreationa

into

Chater Road

10 CARPETS & RUGS

OF THE LATEST

DESIGNS

STAIRS

AND

NATURE. THE POET

ты

The poets of some thousands of years hence ought to have a pretty

famous British scientist, predicts

Us zab

4

4

George: No. My name in George.

I bollove

sion of the present semi-bureau-ne time of it, for Sir James Jeans, spirit in Siam has entered a new within proper bounds. There are nearly always blotto?

Mr. Kelly: Well, how is it you're. cratic system of government that in the future we shall have phase. No revelt in our time has none of the debased attractions you're lying to me, you coughdrop

a responsibly governed moonlight all night long, every been conducted with such tact and of a port where ships of many addict. Federation of States and Fre-night in the year and no one who restraint as the first upheaval, nations are anchored.

George: Say, you! You used to vinces. They necessitate a com- reads poetry needs to be told what when the absolute authority of the The foreign colony lives in fine

reached by run this..column avery day. How plete reconstruction of the exist- this will do for poets. Our moun, Throne was challenged by a band modern mansions. ing Constitution. When it is says Sir James, is going to draw of ambitious young men Imbued shaded boulevards. There are a many cases of beer did you receive borne in mind that the units nearer and nearer to the earth; with idealistic principles of demo-sports club with tennis and aquash from your readers? which will eventually compose

and eventually it will get so close cratle government. When the last courts, a golf course, and a spack

Mr. Kelly (hurriedly); Don't that it will break up and give as coup took place Ministerial depart-lous lawn which is the pleasantest let's quarrel, George. Listen, when the Federation are not at present

An earth-circling fringe of moon-ments changed hands almost by place imaginable for the consump you put a joke over, and nobody In existence as separate entities, fragments. This, of course, will appointment and outgoing incum-tion of iced drinka at sunset. some idea can be gained of the rob us of our moon-but these bents were shown to the door nt! The Diplomatic Corps has its laughs, what do you do? immensity of the task. It ta

Town quiet social life and its mem- their convenience. myriads of fragments will reflect

George (loftily); That has never further to be remembered that the sun's light down to

The Siamese are, with the ex-bers mingle with the many princes happened to me. When I write there is no precedent on which night, and every night will be ception of the Japanese, the poll- and princesses of the Royal House something funny, it goes right

test people I have ever met. If who have adopted Western ways over. Sometimes it goes so to work in carrying out this made bright by moonlight. Theaethey reach the stage of infileting and like them. Britons who first over that it goes over their heads.

scientific gentlemen can draw tremendous change. In its main

the death penalty upon their politi, went to Bangkok years ago leve In that case, I do my own laugh- strange pictures for features, the report of the Com-when they begin looking into the cal opponents I am sure it will be the place. I know a Yorkshire ing and charge extra lineage. mittee does not greatly deviate future.

done with every expression of man who settled there more than a Surely поле

more

generation ago and calls it home. Mr. Kelly: Haven't you ever felt from the White Paper proposala, pleasantly fantastic than

this regret.

They are Intensely nationalistic.) Yes, it is difficult for me to a yearning to write something in- which were based on autonomy forecast of a time of perpetual for the Provinces of British moonlight. What an era for poets Extreme dignity marks their un-visualise a bloody revolution inspiring, like "Cavalcade," or some- India, with certain special powers

and for lovers}

failing kindliness to foreigners. such a setting. Perhaps the King thing. The police guiding the eurlous finds it more difficult still.

George: "Cavalcado"? Nover retained in the hands of the

heard of it. Do you uso a full Governor, and a Federation of

pack7 the States and British India, with central responsibility, sub ject to certain aafeguards. If anything, however, the report proceeds on cautious lines.

U.S. NAVY'S PART

The Navy Department is going to help the American merchant mine ensure the safety of ships Sonor naval officers will be do- and passengers on the high seas. Romewhat more tailed to make voyages on shipa Objection is over which the Department of taken by Labour dissentients to Commerce has jurisdiction, ac-

COLOURINGS the suggested indirect method of cording to arrangements recently

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election at the centre, und also concluded between the Commerce They to the proposed creation of and Navy Departments. Second Chambers in the Legisla-sonnel and equipment of the ships.

will inspect thoroughly the per-; tures. It is also urged from the From their reports will come new same quarter that India should systems of regulation." It is be able to attain Dominion status by a process of internal develop

reported that new methods of disciplining and training mer ment, without recourse to tur

chant ships' crews will be one pro- ther Acts of Parliament. Such duct of this innovation. It looks criticism was to be expected. The watchful eyes of trained naval like an exceedingly sensible move, As against it may be placed the man can be depended upon to de- complaints which the "Die-tect any flaws in equipment or Hards" of the Conservative construction, and a taste of die- Party can be expected to advance cipline after the DRVal manner that the proposals, so für from might not hurt crews that tend to being too rigid, are dangerously get confused and panicky in time liberal. The Committee, how-

of crisis. ever, has taken the course of a happy mean, in which, It is out of a tremendous experiment, reasonable to think, wisdom will charged with far-reaching be found. It can certainly be possibilities. As a first step, Bald that the proposals put for- they are in no Bense nig- ward represent a distinct advance gardly in concept or illiberal along the road of self-govern- in form. They are obviously in- ment, and, what is more, they tended to lead to even bigger clearly betoken a deep sincerity concessions. But at the moment in dealing with a problem of unit la only right and proper that exampled difficulty. Even on the guiding principles should their present basis, the recom-reat on a policy of hastening Imendations imply the carrying slowly.

حمسه

FOR

"Give us another strawberry sundas all around. This le our wedding anniversary," ̈

for

Mr. Kelly: George, I'm afraid you're a lowbrow. Do you know what that la? -

George: Yes. It's a thing you hang your clothes up in.

Mr. Kelly (turning away dis- gustedly): Pah! Call yourself ■ Journalist?

George: Are you going away without buying me a drink?

one

Mr. Kelly: I have no money.

George (sorrowfully): Well, no can say you're not a real journalist, after that.

Mr., Kelly: Don't George your- solf to death on those free chipa and peanuts.

George: You're almply, Kelly. ing mol

Mr. Kelly: Goodbye, Goorge. Don't foruct that ten bucks,

DEEP SILENCE.

X-TRAORDINARY THE Sphinx

Just thlax. Never winx at any minx, Or even sink » couzla drinks.

flo never bling

at tourist ginen.

Or batters chinx

out of the linx.

Or even shriax

Just site and thinx.

from noxious, sling.

B'