1934-06-27 — Page 22

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ment.

WEDNESDAY, JUNE 27, 1934.

NOTES OF THE DAY DEATH OF NEW The Very Idea

MODERN SOCIETY

DIPLOMACY"

By G., A. MARTELLİ

of NE OF THE striking aspects may be thinking, perhaps, of a

need

is the revival of traditional forms to flatter or appease some section of diplomacy, The fondness of public opinion. A delegate at

THE COCKROACH

HORROR

By George,

"THE GOLDEN CANDAREEN

(Eleventh Instalment) EEJEEBHOY

gave a cy

Jof horror!

He had seen #cockroah

The fact that modern civilization lias two faces, one of which han been modelled with, infinitely more attention and skill than the other, comes very close to being the basic. point of all the world's present troubles. These two faces are the material realm of science, Inven- tion, and technical progrese, on the shown by post-War statesmen for Genova, knowing his speech is ono side, and the social realm of changlug visits, and sending enched more with the reaction in hie holding world conferences, ex-boing reported, might be concern- human relations, emotions, and other open letters has become in- own country, oven his own con- emerge from the neck of te mass thinking, on the other. The crossingly unpopular. The fallure stituency, than with that of the whisky bottle and the horrite former is far advanced; the latter of the Disarmament Conference other delegaten with whom he is

la likely finally to discredit it. It ostensibly is a constant reminder that we is doubtful if disarmament was The matter in hand would in that the place where Madge and e insect was now reeling towars conducting business are relatively only a few genera-ovor possible, but the democratie, case take second place. - tions out of barbariem. If the not to say demagogic, methods

were still clasped in each othe This sort of thing has, in fact history of the human race, cover- used in negotiating it have happened again and again, and ing approximately a million years, obviously made its chances, instill more time would have been Is translated into the terms of a finitely smaller.

wasted by it had not the world's been bitten by a cockroach at Jeejeebhoy's father had or man's lifetime, how long has the therefore mark the end of an era, among themselves long ago that all Reg, being the only son, had

The death of disarmament would representatives tacitly agreed race been civilised? In terms of the era of the so-called "new public declarations were intended herited a loathing for the creatur personal adjustment rather than diplomacy.” After the discom- primarily for Internal consump which amounted almost to a pos race adjustment it is as if civilizature of tho amateurs, pro tion, and could, therefore, be tive dislike. tion had begun only 19 days ago, fessionalism is entering into its largely disregarded. But is it to as if cumulative science went back

own again.

be wondered at that with such a only to midnight, and the habit

system nothing has over been done? of deliberate invention only to this morning.

COMPLEX TOOLS

ཏཾ

arma.

Drawing up his knee sharpl Jeejeebloy forced Mudge to frd him and then hurriedly wrap! ping his shoca round his fee he vaulted the verandah an disappeared into the blacknes of the night.

the verandah.

With a curse, Madge darted to

What had happened to mar this

With a scream of angor the aminh dashed from her cubicle and flung herself at Madge's fect.

That democracy should dislike and distrust diplomacy and try to usurp its functions, as it has been The fact of the matter is that de doing for the last fifteen years, is licate diplomatic negotiations (and, only natural. The one is compet-fall important negotiations are ent well-informed, precise, and delicate) cannot be conducted in economical in words; the other, the glare of world publicity, when In other words, the world has ignorant, vague, garrulous, and every "give" is liable to be de- been out of the wilderness only a incapable. Democrney loves slo-nounced as a national betrayal and very short time, and acquisition of ment, formulae (the emptier the an unscrupulous opposition; when meeting to which she had looked gans, gestures, appeals to senti-overy "tako" may be exploited by those complex tools by which better); all of which diplomacy is each move is jealously watched by forward so much? Why had ho modern society is maintained dates justly suspicious Democracy Press ready to pounce on the back only an hour or so. That would like to spend its time least hitch and magnify it into a given such a dreadful cry? Madge being the case, it is small wonder alternately taking off its hat to its rupture, or (worse) prematurely looked in the mirror and found the that we have not yet discovered neighbours and challenging them acclaim accord where there is answer, for the cockroach was now how to extract the utmost in opposed to either of these at-

to duela. Diplomacy is equally none.

almost within biting distance. human values from the machines titudes. Democracy loves

The danger of this "box-office the draw" diplomacy is that. It pits the

So it was this which had come THE PHILIPPINES

which our ingenuity has devised. magnesium flare, the file talk on parties against each other instead between her and her boy friend. We have done marvellously well the news reel; diplomacy shuns of drawing them together. Each Madge waited till the little beast COMMONWEALTH at the job of inventing things, but go on? The Incompatibility

them. Democracy but why negotiation becomes a sporting climbed on to the table and then

of contest-though sometimes not so Filipino independence will be gress at the job of learning how a wise foreign policy is sufficiently or scored by the Cabinet Ministers into the jungle.

we have made practically, to pro- mass rule (and mass emotion) with sporting-in which the points lost flicked it viciously with her finger brought a step nearer by the big to, use them properly. That is demonstrated by the history of put up as champions are minutely conference which is to be held why we have atarvation in the Europe since the War.

recorded by the spectators in their next week in Manila for the pur-midst of plenty; we suffer because to apply democratic ideals and tions of prestige thus become It is the history of an attempt respective countries. Considera. pose of drawing up a Constitu-we have too much of everything, democratic methods to that essen-paramount. It is like trying to tion which is to be established and not because we have too little, tially undemocratic society, the settle that matter of the broken! pending complete self-govern-The task to-day is the education Comity of Nations. There was fence with your wife and children Altogether, over 200 de-of society up to the level of our coeding ns would be an attempt to and all the other people in the about as much chance of this suc-and servants and the neighbours, legates will take part in the scientists, and our technicians. impose, say, modern hygiene on a village looking on and cheering. gathering, but much of the work Until this is done, their achieve primitive people, or Mormonism or Amicable arrangements are never in drafting the Constitution for ments will do the world as much Prohibition on England. Quite arrived at in this way. their Commonwealth Govern hurm às good.

apart from the questionable ideal Fortunately, the most calamitous! ment has already been done in

of an international democracy, the consequences of the recent inter-i advance for them. By manda- Í TYPE'S PRANK

method employed for establishing national "dog-fights have been It could only be fatal. The scenet averted by the professional diplo tory legislation, enacted by the

of democracy, as we all know, is the mats. While the would-be arbitra- United States Congress and

secret of appealing to the greatest tors and pacifiers and liquidators accepted by the Philippines The typographical error is one number. if this principle is liable have struited across the stage of Legislature, many of the fea of those perverse and impish politics, Ita effects in the inter-much-abused experts have been to be dangerous in domestic Europe's watering places, the tures of the transition Govern-pranks of fate which amict all national sphere are even more un-patiently vigilant in the wings; last for ten years, have already been decided upon. The deleg.

To post-War statesmen-in-now-a-tactful correction, they at any gathering in Genevas offering now ates may argue about the form the latest is a German editor intoxicated with such phrases as have done their best to marry the and degree, but the general sub- Essen, whose paper published of Rights," "World Co-operation," really

"Self-Determination," "Equality effects of amateurism stance was decided for them in telegram of birthday greetings &c., the League of Nations provid-ponsibility. For while politicione

was the ultimate Washington when the Tydinga- McDuffie Act

sent to was adopted.

Hitler by President ed an ideal platform, bigger and come and go, and policica change Pending aventual withdrawal of Hindenburg. The president closed better and more resonant than any colour with parties, the national United States sovereignty over

hig telegram with an expression front of an

Parliamentary tribune. Here in interest remains the same, and it the archipelago, the Constitution not unlike the English "Hear, oratory, and of a host of reporters and other permanent officials to audience avid of is the business of the diplomata has to contain certain specific.hear!" And some lucklegs printer waiting to flash their eloquence preserve continuity in its pursuit. provisions, amongst which may inserted a question mark instead round the earth, the world's len- be mentioned an obligation of of an exclamation point after it, ders could talk to their hearts' allegiance to the United States, which so changed the sense of it such a marvellous debating house against the old diplomacy by the content. There has never been One of the charges brought whose supreme authority must in German that it became a be recognised; exemption of cynical, "Oh, Yeah?" as a result, with such brilliant performers in to justify itself, is that it works so spectacular, so well-equipped, new, and by which the latter secks United States and church pro-the printer went to gol, and the every language. perty from taxation; provisions editor suffered vast mental stress.

in secret and commits nations to policies which they would

not for religious tolerance; recogni- But anyone who has ever worked,

approve of wem they given the tion of the provisions of the on the production of the printed Tydings-McDume Act in trade word will sympathise with, both.

(Continued on Page 10.) relations between the Philippines The typographical error and the United States; mainten-

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Every editor has suffered from it;

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[ance of existing limitations on happen, no matter how much care the contraction of public debt: is taken; and it has a fiendish way approval by the President of the of happening at the worst times United States of acts affecting and places. It is just one of those currency, coinage, imports and things that put gray, hairs on the exports, and immigration; and heads of men who work in_news- the conceding of United States paper offices. [control over foreign affairs.

Further obligations worthy of

note are that the United States WHEN THE LAW SPEAKS preserves the right to maintain

military and other reservations The language of the law can be

and armed forces in the islands,

as well as to call into service all

a delight to the layman-when it ten't a pain in the neck. In Italy

armed forces organised by the a farmer allowed a pig to stray

Philippines Government. What

into the road. A motorist swarved

is more, the United States may to when the pig refused to move,

intervene for the protection of

and damaged his car. He sued life or for the maintenance of the farmer responsible for the the farmer for damages, holding the Government and its obliga-pig's acts. The cuas finally reach- tions. Two other important jed the supremo court, which restrictions, reflecting unadulter-rendered its decision as follows: ated American doctrines, are the "What the comportment of an requirement that the Constitu- animal, without going into the tion must be Republican in form, hypotheses of fault or forco and that it must contain a bill of majeuro, sets in motion elemente rights. It will thus be seenmained inert, and these elements which otherwise would, have re- that although the United States in turn, through no fault of their la doing its part in fulfilment of own, but due to the animal's com the pledge of eventual independ-portment, cause damage to be ence, every care is being exer- done, the causal connection be cised that during the transition tween, the compartment of the period there shall be no lapsing animal, for which the law holds of American control of the situa and the occurrence causing the the proprietor to be responsible, tion--a wise and very necessary damage, appears to be precaution at a moment when Interrupted. In other words

un- affairs in the Pacific are far from the being composed.

ownor of the pig was responsible, and had to pay.

The trouble is that in public debate people speak not only to convince but also for effect. They!

a

•

海

No, sir, our grandfathers wouldn't recognize the world we're

livin' in to-day,"

Theirs

res-

Dear readers, this is the last but one instalment of our bud spired serial and it is rapidly bringing us to the point where we atarted of. New problema ero raised lo-day, the most vered question being, why did the amah fling herself at Madgo's foot? Wo admit it seem an'um. likely thing to do but perhaps. Afadge has secreted the amake copy of Chaucer's carly English poems in her boots. Or perhaps she has discovered that, Madge has borrowed her boots to make

a good showing in front of Jeejeebhoy. Whatever the rea.... Non tee can rely on Madge keeping her head, though the appendago does not ocem to have benefited. anyone materially so far in our soid-stabbing serial. In the meantime, what has happened to Jeejeebhout Will he met the cockroach in the silent watches of the forcet and if so, will ho dis- cover that it is the common blattia orthopterous and not the Chachalaca as he had feared? Whatever fate may decido in this. respect we foar that our readers have seen the last of that plamorous charactor, fur to- morrow will find him typing out correspondence at his little deak at the P.W.D. unconscious that the recital of his deeds of prowess have won him the admiration of a host of fans.

LESSON IN JOURNALISM, The Film Critic

Being a film critic is not such a good job as it was,

In the old days a critic could give a bum show a great write up and save himself a lot of trouble but now that the public has been educated up to art, they've got tempernmental over what they read.

The worst part of a film critic's' life is explaining to the other reporters why he has got no sparo complimentary tickets. These are the few occasions he gets a free criticism of himaolt.

The essential feature of being Alm critic is being able to sit till and smoke calmly. through the moat galling scenes long hours at a stretch and then. to go back to the sordid surround- ings of the office and reduc Mao Weat to a couple of adjectives, carve Greta Garbo into a cohesive sentence and make Marlene Delirich appear like a goddess in panta jammed between an advertisement' for castor oil and a motoring. colum.

At Home the film critic's main standby is caviare and cigars but ho loses this diet when he comes to, the Far East and easily, adapts himself to frozen boer, leo cream. and Cainel cigarettes.