1934-06-08 — Page 18

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FRIDAY, JUNE 8, 1934.

NOTES OF THE DAY FASCINATION OF The Very Idea!

POLITICS IN INDIA

It may wafely be inferred from the Government of India's with- drawal of the pronouncement of proscription against the Congress Party that the political situation has greatly improved, despite the reappearance of Swaraj ka a poli- tical programate and condena tion of the White Paper proposals. int that such action was under consideration was given, of course, when the Congress lenders were permitted to hold the conference re-establishing the Swaraj Party without any attempt at official in- terference. The dropping of civil disobedience and other modifica. tions in the activities of Congress

may

part to

be attributed in Gandhi's experiences as the cham- pion of the Untouchables. Caste violence can hardly have failed to

CRIME

By ANTHONY ARMSTRONG ·

TE subject of crime, an dealt theft had been discovered. The with to-day In detective game at once became overcrowded, nossegara'a popularity and faseln-tle and strong-armed fellow minn stories, "thrillers," and pinya but whether some peculiarly aul ation that many a film star might aged to acquire every sheep in the well envy.

tribe, or whether stealing became

Nur are there any signs that this popularity is on the wane: indeed, the number of "those wht hac their Wallace read" increases yearly, and even Cabinet Ministers ashamed to say in public that they and captains of Industry are not often like to curl up with a good thriller. To confess to an enjoy ment of crime fiction has even nowadays become a new form of telligentsia who some years ago highbrowism. Those of the in- would almost sooner have been

popular that the wretched sheep began to suffer from never being able to spend more than one night not relate. Anyway, by the time In the same place, history does effective steps in the way of laws curb the universal enthusiasm for and penalties had been taken to the new Invention, everyone was at heart a potential thief. But perhaps I digress.

The

FROM BAD TO VERSE

By Eldie Kelly, Shortfellow

Having retired now from the two hardest jobs of our life-writing daily for the "Very Idea", and village blacksmithing, we think Bis fairly safe to tell you some thing about our life as "The Village Blacksmith.

We were rather a brawny chap in our time, with arms like iron bands and a voice like beaan bands. As a matter of fact, the villagers used to call us a miglity man."

when we ran the "Very Idea". We

It was the same with our Editor

man-sometimes wo might do the job, lost our job as a humourist because the Editor thought we were a mighty and then again we mightn't. Our poor wife died of otherwise known an parrot's disease." psittacoals, If you were to ask us did the, have any last words, we would reply, "Yes, asked as, we won't go into the malier.

Our three daughters were all after flowers.

named.

have had some influence upon his enught laughing at something in si point is that deep down in all of them": however, as you haven't

political philosophy. Democratic forms cannot amount, to where social stratification full of cruelty.

POPULATION PREMIUMS

muck ix мо

The highly original suggestion

now

"It takes one out of

There was Geranium, the eldest,

Petunia and Stopdragon. who used to sit on the horacs' chests while we shod them. Then there was

fence one day when a goofy-looking We were flinging a horae over the bird wandered in and said that he wanted his nail-le retreaded.

We get talking after a while, and we found out that his name was Longfellow. He, and he was a poet had gone to the dogs.

of Senator Tydings that popala-discovery on page 7-let alone in present, so, too, is the probability by trade, and that the poetry business.

THE FUTURE OF THE once, that the plan would fall far

COLONY

primitive

most

forni

It had. In fact, gone from bad to verse.

dogs, we pricked up our cars, and When he said it had gone to the about "Who's afraid of the Big Bad asked him if he had written the poem Wolfe." He said, "No", as ho didn't

own a dog, and, beskles, he couldn't find any word to rhyme with Kewloon

or Bunions,

to them.

we all love crime because wo "Punch" than reading "The Clue are potential criminals, and since of the Twisted. Goldfish,"

the barrier between love and hate openly wallow in finger prints and is admittedly a frail one, we are bloodstains on the printed page. Whether these instincts are allow all potential detectives as well. "You know, one really gets quite fascinated with the stuff." they depends on circumstances. The ed to take a more practical form will say: 'oneself."

opportunities for embarking on a career of detection are limited, and while the opportunities for indulg Now, no one can deny that the

ing in crime are nearly always tion be taken as the yardstick for rent life of Sir William Murgat fun in that.

of getting caught--and there's no calculating the defence needs of royd on the library floor with half the nations bears a semblance of instrument, cannot help but dis- criminal instincts within

his face removed by some blunt

So we take to exercising our the simplicity that is deceptive. The turb the poise of even the most covers of a book, or from the tip- scheme, briefly. In to set an arm- phlegmatic; but the real fascinia- up Reats of

theatre. It is al mentà standard for the Grst half- tion is not that it takes you out of So far from inciting to wrong of sublimation. million and allow every nation to build on that standard ap to the takes yourself out of you. In

yourself but that it, so to speak. doing, crime plays and novel are total of its population, with a de-other words, it releases elining ratio for every half-million potential criminal in you.

the possibly an effective safety valve: and, no doubt, are equally helpful after the first. Its obvious, at are all potential criminala: the smallest burglary being overrun by For we in preventing the scene of even the thing is so deeply implanted in us

"If you like, though," he said, “I'll short of requirements, for while it

dash off a line or two about your as to be almost

flood of amateur detectives. would be possible to allow, say, so instinct.

The most harmless of little men

self. It'll be good publicity for you," many hundred tons of warships

Well, we told him he could have a It originally sprang into being, the 5.40 is not Thompkins, of The wrong.

reading a book in a corner seat of stab at it, but that fellow got us all It is noteworthy that many of per million of population, the dis-

as far as I remember-the actual Laurela: he is at the

lle said we laved to hear our the suggestions put forward attribution of naval tonnage among incident, of the annual meeting of the Hong-nish plentiful controversy. Then Adam and Eve from the Garden full of stulen pearls, and the police warship categories would still for my me with the expulsion of roofs at midnight with his pockets

course, was before Blackmnak" climbing along the used to actually go to church to listen moment daughtern sing at church. That wa kong Chinese Chamber of Com-again. It is impossible to believe of Eden. The first murder, the in pursuit and he is having the merce, with a view to hastening that France would accept the pro-

Say, we ask you! trade recovery locally, are based position, with her population of

first theft.

Geranium, we'll admit, had had a the first lie, all the time of his life. He doesn't know

fair voice-sho WAN on a conception of the Colony's 10,000,000 compared with

things that keep life from becop whether he will be caught or get for the Philharmonic,

a caricatura future which is in rather sharp ny's 60,000,000. A Fardstick evacuation of the Eden properly knows it won't be for a hundred they only hunned. We could knuck soprane, and was always in demand Ger-

ing dull, occurred after the away, but whichever it is, he

But the other contrast to that traditionally

that

sets a premium on fecundity Previous to this, crime had not and fifty pages yet, as he is only

two used to frighten the horses If held. Hitherto, Hongkong has instead of strategic needs is hard-been Invented-not been regarded as little other likely to commend itself outside smallest of small lies, or Adaming that period he will be cunning, ever been a blacksmith you'll know out better tunes on the bellows. And even the halfway through the book. Dur-as far going to church tre United States, even if the and Eve might well have attempt desperate, daring, will make an ill-week that a man can get a bit of than a distributing centre for trifling fact that it would give ed to establish a water-tight albi gotten fortune-may even shoot a exercise.

.. if you've the South China markets, and in America the largest fighting ser-

that Sunday is the only day in the consequence of the lessened vices in the world was overlooked

for original sin. All that stuff policeman or | movement of goods, its trade has by Senator Tydings.

came later, and the first criminals, does that, he knows he will be since got a Job na a foghorn on n Though if he As a matter of fact, Potummia, has naturally suffered. Some of the

by the way, must have been ex-caught. ceptional

alat, self-polsoned, or lighthouse, and is doing well. She proposals advanced at the Cham-

people, almost in the somehow rubbed out in the end. same class as those unknown

writes to ber meeting envisage the Colony BARTHOU PRODUCES

us regularly, enquiring geniuses who first thought of the

about the church and one thing and as something more than a mere

wheel, or the drinking-cup, or the

another, and sends us a brace. of clearing-house, aiming rather at M. Barthou comes forward at sling.

Law and order must triumph in seagulls every now and then. its development along industrial last with concrete proposals for

a crime-novel, unless the hero is lines. There can, of course, he facilitating the work of Disarma- must have felt himself to the other from the rich to give to the poor, left the office at last. That man in

How superior the first liar, say, the type of criminal who steals no questioning the point that ment Conference. His resolution and more innocent folk around or for some other sentimental rea

lines and promises this much atcurred that there could be such away with it in print. As Leacock finished our job. As there's no one is framed on eminently practies! him, to whom it had not yet oc son, and is always allowed to get over our shoulder.until we've almost- tage to itself, become much more leaat, that the delegates will get a thing in the world as a mis- once said: of a producing centre than it down to work instead of arguing statement of plain fact! It must title page; you can't kill him we think we'll also depart.

"Ils namo's on these left whom we can't knock stiff, now is. The future may, in in a loose general debate. Two in- have given the first thief, for in- In real Hfe it doesn't always work fact, show remarkable expansion fluences seem to have stirred the stance, quite a sense of creative out like that-you try it and see;

Marvellous how one's enthus- in this direction. But doubts French leader to action, a real achievement to naturally arise as to whether the prospect of Germany's return to the simple process of going at having atolen from the rich and discover that by especially if you get caught after

Ins for work peters out in this hot weather. Well, if it doesn't present time is propitious for Geneva, and Mr. Henderson's pun-

night and transferring a dozen of before you have time to give to the

Peter, it Pauls. (Biblical quota- tion). branching out in this new fieldgens summary of the feeling his neighbour's sheep to his own poor. And if Thompkins does get nearly all other governmental dele-folds, he thereafter had a dozen caught In the last chapter It of endeavour. It is easy to gates in regard to France's, ob- visualise the growth of factories,structionist tactics.

more aheep; while his simpior-docan't worry him. Probably he and to plead for Government

minded neighbour was bitterly has switched over already to the that since writing the above two P.S. You will all be sorry to learn lamenting the amazing "Mystery detective's end of the game; but things of the Disappearing Sheep," and evon if he hasn't he doesn't have returned suddenly, and we

happened. Tho Editor was completely unable, in his own to do

have undeveloped criminal state, to ne-years; he embarks

Lime for the next seven passed away, greatly mourned. The

on another

village hearse was decorated with count for the phenomenon. people began to catch on to the

Later on, of course, many other get to the library.

career of crime as soon as he can age and bunting, the occasion was racket, and the community sudden

mado a public holiday, and a good time was had by all.

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help in the way of special facili-

ties for the nequiring of land FRANCE AND CERMANY

for such purposes, but all this

pre-supposes a readiness on the

of

If there is a genuine prospect of part of those with capital to France and Germany getting to come forward and initiate new gether again, as M. Barthen hint: ventures. Is that spirit pre-fed, and as the Star Agreement valent, and is there reason to confirmed, it would be the bestly realised that a new thing called

think that Bnancial backing for

thing that could possibly happen any large-scale development at Barthou threw the door wide open in the present eritical stage. M. the present time would be and was careful to reaffirm that available? These are pertinent Germany will re-enter the portals questions, which go to the root of the conference on a basis of of the whole question. One complete equality of rights. As further aspect of the matter is Germany feels well satisfied with that whilst really worthwhile the Saar proposals and as Herr industrial expansion may be again, that the Saar alone affords Hitler has insisted, again and worthy of future consideration, an isstio of contention between any movement which would re- sult

France and Germany, Geneva may in the perpetuation of well feel justifted in breathing a sweated labour is not deserving little more freely. of encouragement. The lesson

to be drawn from these consider-

*

ations is that Hongkong should FUTURE FLIGHT at the moment proceed warily in

the matter of industrialisation. Prof. Augustc Plecard, the Eventually, side by side with its dauntless Belgian who files

inta continuance as a distributing leves that man

the stratosphère for recreation, be- centre, the Colony may develop solve the problem of interstellar may some day along new lines, but with the travel and make round trips to the China markets obstructed by moon or to some of the planets. excessive tariffs at the moment,It is his notion that this may be- progress in this direction must come possible, not through the use be slow. One suggestion put of rocket engines or by firing huge forward at the Chamber meeting through discovery of the secret of projectiles from gigantic guns, but is worthy of support, namely, disintegrating mattor. Ile the formation of a permanent that the disintegration of 120 KAYS consulting body, consisting of noul

pounds of lead, for instance, would European and Chinese bankers, provide ample energy for a round raerchants and Industrialists, to trip from the Earth to the planet exchange ideas periodically on Mercury. His theory sounds, un- the economic position of the doubtedly, remarkably like a pipe- Colony and to explore ways and dream, and it probably shown that means of improving local trade, scientista, no less than any other No better timo than the present. on, have moments in which their when business is sluggish, could But it makes

imagination runs a trifle, wild, be chosen for initiating such a whether well-based or not, it is a nice picture, and movement.

something to look forward to.

80,

*

detective in him will come to the

Perhaps this time the potentini

(Continued on Page 10.)

"This is my daughter June-she's just at the awkward age."

·

Well, well, well, The Editor has so auspicious about us that he stands

on to bed now, children.

It is believed that we died as the result of a cold, caught while ahoving draught horars.

Old Casper, when interviewed, said that it was famous victory for tha draught horses, Ile also gnid that if we had sat in the sun telling lies to our daughter, Whilhelmine, instead of fooling around with draught horses, our funeral would. nover have oc carred,

Seeing that we never had a daughter called Whilhelmine, we consider this most unsporting. Anyway, if we did have a kid anything like that brat, we'd put ground-up glass in her por-

ridge.

You can't get really fond of a child that's always bowling skulls about the place. The whole family was inclined to be a bit morbid.

Casper's son, Casperbianca, was the village idiot who went away to sen and wet fire to the boat. The mutt then stood there on the burning deck when all but he had made à bolt for the open spaces.

Which reminds ts; just before he left the village. Longfellow wroto anolher poema. Something like thin

'Twas evening, and the netting sun

Was einking in a fog Phen a big, brave policoman laddie,

Eapled a little dog

The doy, it had no muzzle,

The policeman's step grew faster, "I'm going to gain promotion,

With a campiona for its moster." "Why, the pup may have the rabies,

I workin't put it past it," So they fined the desperate criminal

Do you wonder, he sail

For the life of us, we can't remem- bor what the owner of the dog sald. It was something that rhymes with "past "We must ask Longfellow when we see him. That will be all until next Friday.

Como down to the family vault- and see us some time..