1933-05-17 — Page 18

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH. WEDNESDAY, MAY 17, 1933.

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THE MODERN PROBLEM.

BEAUTY OR BRAINS?

By LIONEL HALD

The Very Idea!

COMING TO OUR CENSORS

By Eddie Kelly, Last Say,

Personally, we think it would be a censorble idea if they didn't stop at films.

We are all in favour of letting

ed about Its future. In an hour of comparative gloom, comes this striking instance of com- plete success. In pre-Lengúc days, vituperation and violence were the recognised means of settling disputes between na- tlona. To-day the League spirit

Hore is a story with a moral. remember. Listening to them, I

temporary complains that has inspired two small but by

An officer in the Chinese army blush. I cannot get away from the. A fim reviewer in a local con no means unimportant nations to (so it is reported) was found by fact that I never stood on a chair settle their quarrel by reason his brother officers on the verge of to look at any beauty in my life. there's not enough censorship in

Are there no Jersey Lilles now sex nima. Unfor-blowing his brains out. When,

He thinks that the Hongkong and mutual goodwill. tunately it is difficult to accept amicably or by force, they had dis-adays, or is it just that we not leas the event, in these days of crisis,sunded him, they asked the natural store by physical beauty? Is a

check or has she yet to appear, to set us scissors en gangster Alms that as a harbinger of present-day question "Why?" A large tear now goddess among us unnoticed, censors are so busy plying the Lendencies. The political situa-rolled down his impassive

goddesses, because mere osculations. and life is insupportable for an there are no tion in Europe is severely strain- and he replied "Because I am ugly, all clambering on chairs? Perhaps they haven't time to waste al

there are no worshippers. led. When one examines the ugly man."

We are a sadly moral lot. We be- Ugliness may seem at first alght relations tone of the

Rome and Belgrade, to be a frivolous reason for so very are always wanting faces to be "in- tween between revisionist Hungary unplenannt, so very flaal a thing as teresting" or "strong" or "fuil and the Little Entente, be-suicide. But the more usual rea of character." It is not entirely

chance of tween Germany and France, sons for suicide (if so unreasonable the fault of the men that they do the censors expand their activities, a thing can be paid to have reasons) not value feminino beauty as they so that people outside the film

The women encourage this world. may have n cannot look to further have much less to commend them did.

To save the time of the censors developments without some feel-than ugliness has. Financial trou. new vice: for the women du not witnessing this great power for and we have started on some of the ing of alarm. France is faced bles or domestic worries-quarrels want to be beautiful as much as to good at work.

my bank unanager or my wife be clever. Give a woman to-day by Germany in the throes of an with not drive me to despair, be- the choice between beauty extreme Nationalist rising. Pre- sident Roosevelt has made a cause there are remedies for them. brains and she will choose wrong-nursery rhymes, which have now Troubles of that sort may cnally who will choose brains. She would been thoroughly refined, distilled and rather men listened to her than altered, muzzled and made respect- able on the lines suggested by our magnificent effort, in his historic disappear. Bank managers, announcement yesterday aban-even wives, may relent. It would looked at her.

The Americans have a phrase for contemporary.

woman Take, for instance, "Mary Had a the sort of old-fashioned

fairly reeka HONG KONG HOTEL doning, probably for ever, Amer-be shortsighted not to wait.

I would like to have back. "Beau- Little Lamb." It ica's traditional policy of isola- NOSES NEVER

tiful but Dumb" they call her. with suggestiveness, tion, to lessen the growing dis- trust. It needs, however, the 'ut-

But ugliness is irredeemable, and Who cares? All women ought to comes to our check as we think of most tact and adjustments of

Here is our revised rhyme: viewpoint if new combustible to be ugly is to romain ugly. Over-be beautiful; and if it is at the the hideous suggestions contained

great loss in that,

As for men, the case would ap

Mary had a tile material is not to be accumulat-drafts often disappear, but nosas cost of being dumb, well, I see noin the last lifte.

--- was white as snow ed. Herr Hitler holds the key to

It must not be thought that I am pear to be hopeless. When shall

And everywhere that Mary went. the entire problem. A forecast excusing, for reasons of ugliness, meet again a room-full of men

With the exception of bathrooms, and of the statement which he is to that very ugly thing suicide. There who openly pride themselves

ho make in the Reichstag to-day le no excuse for suicide, because their good looks? If you call a bedrooms, public telephones.

bathing sheds, that lamb was sure to man good-looking nowadays nobody declares that while he will em-there is no redress. It is unfor

to givable, because there is

thinks you are insulting him. He phasise Germany's claims

left to forgive. But I see what was wants nothing more to be asked of

Next, take "Humpty Dumpty." in the mind of that Chinese officer, his face than that it should be pro- equality, the general tone will be conciliatory. It is to be hoped He could never be beautiful, and perly shaved; and women, if they This is a most seditious rhyme ho want to flatter their husbands (or alleging, as it does, a condition of unfounded. President Roosevelt would be nothing at all. If

days of divorce, their past hus-forces of His Majesty the King. has placed all his cards upon could not have a Roman nose he their future husbands, or, in these serious inclciency in the armed how old-fashioned bands), tell them that they are More than this, the verse denis But observe

"delightfully ugly." "Tell me how with a character of the utmost the table. Surely the time has would die a Roman death. come for Herr Hitler to make n

he is in the twentieth century you broke your nose," they whisper depravity. We are constructive gesture.

GARAGE

Stubbs Road.

Phone 23124.

The

DISAPPEAR.

nover.

Hongkong Telegraph. that the belief will not prove if he could not be beautiful

WEDNESDAY MAY 17, 1933.

A NORWEGIAN TRIUMPH

This may seem the wrong heading for the recital of the circumstances of a judgment in favour of Denmark and against

How Mythology

ho

were.

Ita

оп

20.

• ..

told

A blush

in

the

Norway by the Permanent Court image of a white mari in a 8 that there are no beautiful women fectly proportioned, with a manly repeat, did he sit on the wall at

ja martyr was lost!

the Boy

HUSH-A-BYE BABY,

Ifush-a-bye, Baby,

must be modified

Simple Simon

ከዚ

ho actually cares for good looks! adoringly. "It gives you such an first line that the character "snt But we up-to-date moderns have

air."

on a wall", ceased to care for them. We up-

I rebel against all this. And Why did he sit on a wall? Why todale moderns no longer worship rebel on altruistic grounds, for I personal beauty. I have yet to myself am much better off as things do you sit on walls? That man is Formed

discover what we up-to-date mo- are. There is no dangor of my bellumpty Dumpty wasn't on the. body ever is. What was it the derka do care for, but it certainly ing insulted by being called good-wall for any good purpose. No- saw him Savage tribes in the jungles of isn't that. Old gentlemen in clubs looking. I wish there

America South

worship the tell me (and I always listen atten- should like to be a Quida hero wall of? And who

tively to old gentlemen in cluba)

about six foot and a half tall, per- sitting on the wall? Why, we and all. If you think what we think. frock coat. Explor-

to-day. The old gentlemen, when chest, black hair, eyebrows of International Justice at The hat and

The third line is rankly nedit- Hague. It is, however, deers have collected many car they were young gentlemen, stood moustache (and a waxed moustache we will delete the word "wall.

wooden staffa

bearing on chairs to see Lily Langtry, they at that), large blue eyes, a noble the ved liberately chosen, because

brow, a chiselled nose and wearing | ious on the face of it. It is a this odd image; a white man in

the South the uniform of some decorative re- gratuitous inauit to outstanding significance of the

old-fashioned dress, often carved case recently decided is the with genuine skill, with minor that he attended the cinema six giment. For that, I would put up Scout, movement, to

It is a and thing that we have and the Hongkong government. temper in which it has been con- details of costume faithfully times a week! As many as 229 with any of your modern insults. Wales Borderers, the Royal Navy, ducted by the opposing Govern- rendered. Medicine men used testified that they dreamed at

We have allowed it to be swept

Gross indecency. The first two ments, and naturally the greater such staffs extensively, belleving night following a visit to the lost our vanity. credit is due to the defeated that all manner of diseases could cinema and in 69 per cent. of away and have replaced it with The majority, terests. "Here lies the twentieth party who, in spite of bitter dis. be cured with them. Along these cases the dreams were baser, duller, more energetic in lines indleate the depravity of apppointment at the result, ac-investigation has finally pro-nightmares.

duced an explanation. More with the refreshing candour of century" will be the inscription on modern nursery rhymes.

On the Tree Top...... The statement that babies are to cepts the umpire's verdict loyal-than 200 years ago a Scotch children, admitted they learned our tombstone in the Cemetery of Anyone in these days of paint and ly. This, in our English phrase, colony was settled on the Gulf nothing through the films, while Timo. "Too Busy to be Beautiful." is cricket. It is not necessary of San Blas. William Patterson some, with equal naiveness said mass production can be just aver be found, like this, on tree tope, to follow all the details of the was the leading spirit in the they learned American slang. agely beautiful, and no more; the can only have a pernicious effect Bo evidence was general standard is doubless high-on the young minds of to-day. arguments used on either side. Venture. He was a skilled and Practically

and adduced revealing any mental or er; a certain comeliness is within This is no time for mock modesty conscientious physician, It is enough to say that this is worked many cures among his moral benefits to be obtained the reach of all; and while there are or for mincing words... The whole the first case in which the Per-barbaric native neighbours. As from films, and this surely is one no Jersey Lilles, it is possible to rhyme

having Mediocrity,

Hush a bye Baby. prettiness.

Under the gooseberry bush.... manent Court has had to ad-a result, the simple savages of the most serious accusations gild the ordinary lily into passable follows: judicate upon a question of canonized him when he died the cinema industry has to face. conquered our politicians, has turn-

A There is also a big onus oned its attention to our faces.

the Only a Chinese officer, made a "Old Mother Hubbard" will sovereign rights to territory, or, rather, raised him to Two principles of International position of godhood. Members parents. If only from Law were in conflict. Denmark of his own race have long since health point of view, it would stand. Only one solitary idealist, have to be banned. The sug- claimed the whole of Greenland forgotten all about him, but he seem that children should not be out of all the ormies of the world, gestion that the cupboard was

remains to-day a potent legend

more than once a week. There and was ashamed. He might have looked. This must be stamped fired the world; and when his up on the basis of ancient treaty in the distant jungles, This is allowed to attend the cinemas remembered. Ouida's Guardaman bare is one that cannot be over- and modern agreement. Norway as unusual a kind of fame as any is sufficient evidence to suggest toate brother officers stopped him out. We can have no nudity in invoked the doctrine of res white man ever attained; and it that too frequent attendance what a candle was put out! A this Colony, nullius. Some of her fishermen leads one into fruitless but

health. had formed rough settlements interesting speculation about plays a part in undermining the Chinese officer was saved, but what upon an unoccupied part of the the origins of other, more bleak const line, and finally her widely-known gods of old days, Government claimed the right to because it sheds such a revealing fly the Norwegian flag and ar light on the way in which primi- range for the administration of five people form their myths. justice along this part of East When we first learn of myths, Greenland. Feelings began to

could be 80 inventive; the run high in both countries, but most of us wonder how people very wisely and properly their answer, apparently, being that Governments decided to have the they aren't. Myths aren't in- dispute settled for them by the vented; they are built up Impartial judgment of the World consciously about frameworks Court, which the League of Na-lof fact. In a world which has Itions had established. By twelve problems enough of its

votes to two the Court rejected this is of very smail importance. : the submissions of Norway and But it is interesting. nccepted those of Denmark. Without hesitation or delay M. Mowinckel, the Prime Minister of Norway, expressed the readi- ness of his country to abide by the decision so adverve to its hopes. Even more remarkable Recently we commented on more desirable perhaps was the prompt ex-the need for a change of telegrams between the type of cinema film for children. Kings of Norway and Denmark, But a roport by Dr. Gross, the the one congratulating, the other military physician at H&Rip- a more im- condoling with, his brother-stead, indicates

He declares, both determined that, in spite of portant issue. their differences, the existing as a result of a questionnaire, good relations between their that the cinema is injurious to respective countries should be the health and minds of children. than In his quest for information, strengthened rather diminished. The moral of the Dr. Gross received 500 replies whole affair la so obvious, that from children whose ages ranged Sixty it hardly needs to be recorded. from 11 to 14 years. The League of Nations has been children declared they never go crossing rough water of late. Its to a cinema., Sixty nine per enomics have been rejoicing cent. complained of visual fati- Lover its difficulties and even ven-gue, following cinema, attend- Touring to prephotothe and they are The boys appeared more

desire its complete failure. Its devoted friends sometimes felt bewilder-than the girls, one lad stating

Children and the Cinemas

un-

own

specialist, says she has a perfectly marvel-

We were in two minds about "Simple Simon". However, the publishers have agreed to delete certain offending passages to we agreed to pass it.

The original verse read: Simple Simon, met a pieman Going to the fair

Bald Simple Simon Pleman

to the

"Let Me taste your ware." The first line, with the exception of the words "Simple" and "ple' lo passable. But the second line must be deleted altogether. The mere fact that this Simon person was going to meet a blonde woman Is suficient to. contaminate the minds of our youthful readers.. Third line ls censored in accordanco with the ruling mado in respect to the first line.

The word "taste" in the fourth line is objectionable. To have a "tasto" means nothing more or less than indulgence In alcoholic stimulants, and this is to be deplored.

The corrected verse reads as follows

Simon met a man. Going to

Sald

Simon to the Let me your ware The most vulgar work we have ever had to deal with is a de praved thing called "Three Blind Mice."

The third stanza is terrible..... "They all rah" after the farmer's wife! Tut! Tut! Tut! Words, fail us.

The next lino. is oven worse, "She Cut Off Their Tails With A Carving Kulfe," .

This is terrible, and has been referred to the S.P. CA....

work is banned.Man