1933-03-14 — Page 6

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* GARAGE.

Stubbs Road

The

Happy Valley

Hongkong Telegraph.

TUESDAY, MARCH 14, 1933.

TUESDAY, MARCH 14, 1933.

THE HARLEQUIN CAP

By ERNEST WARD

..

The Very Idea!

FAMILY HISTORY

By Edward Kally, the Younger. The old man ain't feelin' well to-day. Poppa went along to the V.R.C, on Saturday night, and something he ate there must have disagreed with him. He's had a

splittin' headacho ever since.

made abundantly clear that if the Chinese, seck to wrest.back} the lost territories, Japan will not hesitate to extend her opéra- tions into China Proper. In- deed, she already appears to be preparing the public for such a "Whatever else you are or may feld, great captain-could" quell contingency. In that event, war be, you can't be a Harlequin un- a turbulent crowd at Canterbury would most likely break out on less you are a thunder.ng good with a smile and "be geneious to a far larger scale than that cricketer. And this doesn't accca- Mr. Fry: he was only cans.ng bis

sarily mean that because you are hat." And now Jardine! hitherto witnessed, with pas-

The Old Guard in the "Holy of sibilities which the Pawers merely a good cricketer you will generally might not be able to ipso facto be made a Harlequin." Holics" at Lord's knew a thing or "And that's that," says H. E. two when they appointed Jard.ne ignore, The future trend of Pawell-Jones in his "Famous to the Australian Command. era events, therefore, depends on Cricket Clubs." His colloquial they had not only a thunderlag two. circumstances firstly, English might not get him a pass good Harlequin, but one steeped China's intentions in regard to from "Q," but the idiom is there in the rich tradition of the beauti

ful Winchester. motto-the in- the seized territories; secondly, all right. the precise nature of Japan's Douglas, Robert Jardine has visible armour for resisting every real aims in China. Until these that something beyond the gift of species of for. have become more clarified, ita thundering good cricketer-the. What a lot behind that 'phrase will be idle to speculate further mere transmission of genius. He of Jardine's: "It's difficult to keep attacks. Lienerally just after the see beginning of the month. before is not the mirthless Scot that he silent!" It is. when on the situation.

has been drawn. He knows all columns of bunkum about "body- the shroffs have collected their about the code of I Zingari "Keep line" bowling. The batsmen. In- issue. Hereditary, he caus

All we know about it being

Silver on the Whirligig

over

we

Pop reckons that blood is thicker than water, so, that's why I'm doin' his job to-day.

Trouble is, blood is thicker than water, alright, but it wasn't. water Pop ate Saturday night.

on

The Old Man often gets these

IC.

your promise; keep your temper; stead of expecting to be spoon-

fed with long hops and half hereditary is that his old man died

from analis poisoning.

He tried to shoo off a 'brown and

yellow snake, with pink stripes, one day, and both the snake and gran'-pop died within five minutes,

keep your wicket up."

We can see him now in one of volleys outside the off stump, Few economic phenomena are the War years, before he was should take the middle and leg some guard and give the bowler à sight more fascinating to watch than skipper at Winchester. in.

on Mitcham cf the wicket.. the treatment that the whirligig Red Cross match

And why this set against the of time has accorded to silver. Green-loveliest and truest of all

with its bold

Gran-pop had been used to In the middle nineties the village green pitches-tripping Harlequin cap United States was rent in twain gaily across the roadway from the quarterings of buff, blue, and snakes all his life, but that was crimson? The cap is the most the first time he ever met a real club house.

cherished of Oxford "decorations." one. The snake died from al- the silverquestion. The khaki-clad crowd saw in

Lionel Palairet-the greatest coholic poisoning. Bryanites wished to link silver this member of "Poddy's Babies," stylist ever, bar Ranji-has worn with gold. This is bimetallism. as the schoolboys were dubbed, his to an almost colourless shade: Gold took fright and gradually classic-the straight bat, the firm Plum Warner, we all know, sleeps flowed to Europe. The effect right foot, and the swing of the in his. But it has been left to was to make the silver agita- body were all there. And tion even stronger. To-day the laughed when the umpire told Jardine to make the cap immortal United States is, with France, him that he would be greater that the stalwart of the gold stan- his century-making Oxford rover nor of Fettes. That" umpire is dard. Britain is on a paper, or, now patting himself on the back. to put it better, a general com-

What is there in Winchester at modity, standard.

mosphere that makes for era

No longer

currency purposes.

13

ན༔

in cricket history.

Maybe the hostility to mixed colours can be traced to Austra lin's indigenous instinct for uni- form. Stoddart long years ago attributed the barracking that be experienced to I Z colours (cap

Our

Great gran'-pop was the same

genealogical tree alanest withered away in his t me, almply because it wasn't watered. Great B.an-pop used to drink his neat. You'd be surprised how far back we can trace our ancestors. Our first ancestor was a Crusader, He cruisaded up and down the coast of Brittany and other places where they made wine, plundering the heretics, and capturing the Spanish galleons, which he and his crewsaders quickly drank.

Our ancestor was the kind of chap who liked wine, woman and song. 30 long as the wine and song were good, so just before he left on his last trip, he got married.

* +

IF YOU COULD PUT THE CLOCK BACK Pense meaning "Oh, that's the An-

By Lionel Hale.

can it be said that there isn't cricket captains? John Shuted blazer)-Black, Red, and enough gold in the United States long years avo, at the Oval had the Gold: the Arabic symbolism"Out for

The finest County side that was ever af Darkness, through Fire, into total is nearly half of the world's assembled: in the Inter Ninet Light." And then Jardine is als

"("Shrimp" Leveson-Gower

in Butterfly (magenta, black, and This is total monetary stock. not to say that silver has ceased cricket and now the aurust Pre violet).

Let's hope that at "Adelaide to have any adherents in the Bident of Surrey) was the mos

astule captain that ever Ox'orto-day he will reproduce an old United States. Silver is in the boasted--he never will let out of Lord's study in capa-Harleau'n

Butterfly marrow of the West. Yet the the bar the cal of inspiration that before lunch:

after

For seven whole years he roam- ed the seas, and wherever he went cry for "free silver," "16 to 1," made him put G. O. Smith into the lurch; Zingari after tea.

But how slanderous to m'x his fame spread. and other variants of the silver side the last thing on that Mm.

Then the Zinzari and Tea.

Heretics, as they were put under agitation are relatively subdued,day at Lord's in 1876.

of Kent- It smacks of "Alice in Wonder-tarture, would ask each other, being more a focus of a general beloved Jack Mason

"Who is this man?" And someone grumble about money conditions. reat bat, great bowler, graland."

would reply, Honi Seit Qui Met y THE JEHOL COLLAPSE than a specific remedy for money

Reports of further fighting cent Senate debate.

troubles. This was proved in a re-

cestor of the famous chap whe The "sil

writes for the Telegraph.”~ notwithstanding, it would ap-ver" senators fought again thei

They had a half-holiday for all. the Bank clerks and the govern- pear that, for all practical pur-old figlit, proposing an alliance in.

A murderer puts back the clok, in an fry silence that his neigh-ment officials the day he returned poses, Jehol has been lost to various guises between gold and

them.

home. China. The only issue now in silver. But all the amendments and ten minutes give him an alibi bour has just come from

Our Ancestress was waiting on doubt is whether there

were so decisively defeated that that eaves him from the gallows. after a gruelling two-hour battle

counsel. Furtively under the danzeston for him. That is such stuff as plays are, with it appears the cause has passed made on If we could only do the table he presses a button, and

"Darling," she cried, "For seven likely to be any serious effort to its zenith. In Britain, however, in real life as in Ten Minute the conversation is back at the long years you have roamed the reconquer the province, Con-silver in making converts as fast Alibi!"

Iweather.

You have given honour, sidering the nature of the ter-as the United States is losing

Picture the night-club profriclory and fame to our name. ritory and the huge area covered them. It is not that Britain has need to use this ten minutes ractor. leaning unhamply against the Now it is my turn to do something by the operations, the Japanese so little gold. Britain has always to avoid the hangman; murder is bar while grim plain-clothes men for the honour and glory of the name I call with pride my own." have surprised everybody by the been able to make her gold go a mistake most of us contrive to take rates of the champagne on

And, running indoors to the the wall. See! very long way. The British omit. (It is a mistake, move v r. the tables and compare it with the

The Kelly mansion, she returned. speed with which they have difficulty has been to stay on the hat, with ordinary clo ks, we are clock on

hands turn: the plain-clothes are followed by the seven little carried through the campaign. i gold standard while the change there are other errors we all into one: and the revellers, have ten Kellies she had bought for him

But not likely to make twice). This betokens minute, prepara-in the economic status of other hideous indiscretions that

minutes in which to try to rok during his absence." We tion and a realisation of the nations and the absence of rules blush in the night to think of 'cheerful at the inver-bear that folly of repeating the Shanghai in running experiment, in which

ed.

is

in-

But there have been other

Butter to Go Farther

Very few of un, of courie, would

at

the

קה

And that was the start of our tamilw (pp. Ma calls it the family' Skellyton.

SIDE-SLIPS.

Next she said that these naugh· ty fitto tuits made sandsome ten still handsomer. We wavored, like the pound, but finally remain- ed firm, a little below par. Final ly she asked us point blank it we would grow a couple to please her.

Personally we loathe the things. They may have been all right when men wure stocks and frilled waistcoats, and women incrino- lines sa.d, "Dead, and he never called me mother," but they look silly in plus fours. At all events, We measured our face and drew a line.

un international and how much sim-ler life will has replaced the lawless auor." Picture, top, the poor financier sufficiency of men was employ-States and France irresistible back on them!

standard have made the United be if we could put the clock

who finds, two minutes after the Ideal is concluded. that his fath Hence You are no ordinary man if you in Paraguay Gold, Inc., would have magnets for the metal. factors operating in favour of the metallists in Britain would cannot remember BOTTIC tra to remove mountains before he

Did we tell you about the the invaders, principally, the call in silver to the rescue. minutes of your life that you got back a penny. What does he'

days when

certain popular defections amongst Chinese

would like to have over again. I do? He touches his diamond- Silver at the world conference. troops whose loyalty has been

can remember, so many separate spaneled Time Machine, is back actor used to wear smalt side- shown to be of a very dubious where it will be one of the items ten minutes that if I were given at 12 o'clork, and walks hapn'le whiskers. The new flame said character. It would seem that on the agenda, will thus find them over again in alumn AL.1 down Lombard-street, bestowing that men so adorned looked so find pleasant smiles on any widows or The man we were writing to at the distinguished. We look no notice. the task of defending the ter supporters among people who at this moment, I should

orphans he may nasa. did more than any other to de- myself back in short trousers, ritory was largely entrusted to

Picture, the... guest grade it. The whirligig of

We are moderate. We ask only moment didn't care whether we forces whose allegiance either time History in all modern dinner-table who has made a joke for ten minutes, But Greenwich were bare-faced, or covered all over with fur, so long as we enclos- of Marshal Chang Hadeh-liang countries is strewn with exam- about the Divorce Courts and finds is still inexorable.

cd a cheque. or to Nanking was very doubt- ful. This will explain their ples of the difficulty of operat disinclination to risk their lives a standard composed of two metals. Yet history seems out; unduly in offering resistance to the Japanese. Now that Chang difficulties are both pressing and of countenance when economic Hsueh-liang is out of the way

immediate. and his place has been taken by Chiang Kai-shek, chief interest centres. on the probability or otherwise of troops of known loyalty to Nanking being en- A new element is expected in trusted with the task of re-butter, It is not sufficient that capturing Jehol. That task it shall be pure and sweet and would be one of considerable high in butterfats. It must. immensity, and a great deal will have "spreadability.". At least naturally depend on Chiang's this is what New Zealand dairy own inclinations in the matter. farmers are seeking to introduce Alf through the Sino-Japanese into their product in order that troubles, he has kept well in the it may compete in English homes background, his inactivity giv-with Danish butter. The spread |ing rise to all manner of reports, ability issue is said to be a re- freely mentioned amongst which sult of economic conditions. | have been stories of a secret | The thrifty housewife, intent understanding with Japan. upon making her pound of butter | These rumours, however, do not spread an many slices of bread, appear to have had any sub- as possible, is calling for a pro- stantial backing. Be that as it duct that will not resist a cold may: Chiang is now in control (chisel when she seeks to veneer in North China, a circumstance the toast for an early breakfast. which may have an important Spreadability appears to he 12 bearing on future operations. In spreading issue. Many view of the fact that Nanking's housewife has emitted sundry delegates at Geneva,, and her ejaculations of chagrin as

the spokesmen generally, have butter knife has caromed into created the impression that the bowl of gravy while the China, will never rest until she butter, fresh from the ice-chest, has won back her lost territories, has slid into the lap of an it would be, surprising were the honoured guest. TD.

Most butter Government's military leaders users desire some degree of to take no further active in- hardness, but one which shall terest in Jchol and Manchuria. not exceed the hardness of the On the other hand, it is being knife that has to cut it.

LID

"Thought I ought to warn you. Horace, in case you are serious about Miss Wells. She's not so sure of her job here."

SUA

So they grew. We are not sure why the left side grew long and silky while that on the right was short and stubbly, unless it was" because we were sitting all day at a window through which the ahone, but these things will hap pen in the beat regulated familica, Then the tragedy occurred. One morning, in a moment of for- getfulneas, we overlooked the Plimsoll line, and massacred one whole whisker.. Remembering that she sat on the other side at breakfast, we left the one intact and came down sideways, like a erab, in case she noticed anything. Once or twice she asked me what we kent looking at across the room, because we dare not meet. her face to face.

But we need not have troubled. Towards the end, of the meal she looked at me. thoughtfully and said: "Somehow those side whis.. kers don't seem to suit you as well 38 they do Adolph- Rrilliantino,"

Three minutes after that we were fit to bo seen again, or, any." way, as fit as we usually aro...