1932-12-13 — Page 6

COLD, DAMP, AND CHANGEABLE

WEATHER

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TOYS

Santa Clause

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THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH. TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13, 1932.

SYNCHRO MESH

FAULTLESS GEAR CHANGE

ment as such, and not payment for any other purpose than the : liquidation of the sum shortly due. The British method is not likely to increase the prospects of future settlement; it might,

WAYS OF A MAN WITH

By W. J. SEYMOUR THE MAID

HE worst

T

The Very Idea!

THAT N.T. TIGER

By Ed. Kelly, Big Game Huckster Two Indian policemen declaro they have soon a tiger in the New Territories.

"Pish!" we said when we heard the report.

of these modern | actually they don't want her. One

In Congress and tend to stiffen, h. and cla that a man is makes such an admirable foil. rather than mollify, opposition kept too closely in touch with the Do you remember what we used to do in the Army when one of to oventual reconsideration of realities of domestic affairs. the general issue. Although the Grandpapa was lucky; he didn't the Brass Hats was making a tour We Invariably

All Kowloon sportsmen, with British Note is unambiguous to see the whools go round. In his of inspection" a degree, Mr. Stimson professes days It was fashionable to keep a planted a piece of litter on the one exception, have now taken up to regard it as merely indicating big house and a staff of servants, otherwise ipotless mess-room floor, residence in Victoria. We are the

most of whom the old boy never in such strategic position that exception. the British view regarding steps saw. Its wife complained about he couldn't help seeing it. The which may be proposed later on, the servant problem generally, theory was that so long as he In this way, he keeps the door Grandpapa wasn't confronted with found something to grumble at We've seen tigers before. Thoy open for a re-statement of Bri- a flesh-and-blood manifestation of he'd be happy.

didn't siink away like the cowardly tish policy along lines which it every day of his life.

A wife is much the same where thing in the Territories, would not run contrary to the The modern husband is, and the maid is concerned. So long as They weren't yellow. They terms of the funding agreement. doesn't quite know what to do she lan't satisfied you can be rea-stayed right in the same room and

the played about with

snakes. Mr. Neville Chamberlain's Intest about it. Instead of having to sonably sure she in contented.

And it is as well to bear in mind No, they weren't yellow. They utterance, that Britain does not agree that girls in general aren't

were invariably blue, with pink. ask America to accept her pro-what they were, he has to listen that if over she found the paragon

to detailed accounts of the short- of her dreams she'd worry still dots and vermillion stripes. posals at this stage, but re-

comings of one in particular-lo more. serves the right to bring it wit, she who has just cleared away effortless stoer- forward when discussions begin, dinner, and in the morning will smooth instantaneous would appear to be a response to serve breakfast. acceleration. . more room Mr. Stimson's feeler. It does,

..super springing

at any rate, indicate the right lower body lines sweeter method of dealing with the performance

.. in fact matter. everything a light Six can give - yet the saloon (with sliding roof) costs only £295.

and

more mp.g. braking. ing.

decisive

THE HONGKONG HOTEL GARAGE

The Hongkong & Shanghai Hotels, Ltd. Incorporated In Boohoog, Bluble Road

Happy Valley

Ask for a trial run in The Car with the Silky performance

Geneva's Problems.

DON'T BLAME THE UNTIDY

By EDWIN BRISTOWE

F you are tidy and methodical, it is all too easy to suppose that other people are, or should be, the same.

of

We laugh a bitter, cynical laugh when we hear these reports. There is not much, as you imagine, we don't know about tigere.

A very distant relation of ours was once a tiger but the warders led him, protestingly, back to the padded cell.

*

*

And that reminds us of an ex- perience we once had at Macao,

We had been spending a few days at the Riviera Hotel with" Pete. Poor old Pete woke up one morning and swore there was tiger under his bed.

2

Wo handled him carefully until we reached hospital. A few days later we called to see him.

On Dangerous Ground. He cannot decide what his atti tude ought to be. For instance, after hearing how she omitted to dust the thingamajigs, how shu will firt with the butcher's boy, and how she tusses her head when spoken to for her own good, he Shilly-shallying goes on at almost feels that he ought to

The Geneva.

Committee of scowl next time he passes her, to Nineteen is in uncomfortable show his displeasure. But, hang Yet there are two sides even to mood and Sir John Simon stays it all, a fellow can't go about with this question. Do untidy people

really suffer a constant sense behind, unable to make up his a perpetual scowl on his face. mind whether or not Japan's

At times he realises how delicate discomfort, as you suppose? And threats to withdraw from the position is his. He sees his wife do they, after all, waste any more League-in certain eventualities worried to death by the inefficiency time looking for things than you are to be regarded as bluff. The of the young lady whose wages do perpetually tidying up?

(presumably) are paid by him. Every time my wife gets into the United States throws out a hint Consequently, he feels that he is car she leavea the door open. I that she will not co-operate in morally responsible for piling yet used to think this was just one of the deliberations unless the another burden upon the poor those distressing Utile habits that swing towards her own policy woman who, having married him, | time and gentle persistence would marked. The case already had quite enough to try cure. But now I know it's nothing of Japan seems rather different. her, heaven knows.

of the sort. It is a deliberate act The Concentration Cabinet, Feeling thus, it is only natural of choice. She prefers to leave that at times he should seek to the door open because she feels it

We will soon be publishing justify himself in his own eyes by ia more comfortable that way. the maid. lie will note that she party risks involved, and the prob- All varieties are illustrated, and trying to find points in favour of And were it not for the third booklet. It will be called "Felin

Tigris" or "Tigers We Have Seen. folds his saits admirably, or makes ability of apprehension by the nice toust.

VAUXHALL becomes more

CADET

The

Hongkong Telegraph.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 13, 1932.

WRONG TACTICS

Of course it has taken time to

comfortable to have thinge left open..

"How are you now?" we asked in n hushed volca.

"Fine" anys he. "Seen any more

asked.

tigers?" wo

"No," he said, "no more tigors." And then we know he had 'em. For, believe it or not, there were three tigers loping over the chest of drawers.

,

(1

In the meantime, we give a hint on how to keep off tigers.

Just a little more water, laddić--- just a little more water.

*

TRUTH IN ADVERTISING?

In which we were always firm

THE CRITIC ANNO TO

THE PUBLIC

although ostensibly civilian, is obviously responsible to the will of the militarists, who have shut their eyes to the outside world, and who are determined not in budge whatever the consequen-

police for charioteering, I should there will be appended a list of Je had better keep such feel it my daty to indulge this all the cures known to medical ces. And they have gained the thoughts to himself. Should he whim on the ground that her ideas science, including Tiger Balm. support of the people in the mention them to his wife he lays of comfort are permanently disfer. adventure for two reasons. One himself open to the grave charge ent from my own. is the feeling that Japan at the of accusing her of being unable to beginning of the unfortunate make toast or fold suita as nicely reach this point of view. A con- sistent series of discoveries about affair was misjudged. Then the us some chit of a girl cari.

Nor must he ever defend the the house, however, has convinced Japanese have been hard pressed by the world depression. Accus-aid, which means that he must me of ino reed for it. It is im- keep a tight hold on himself. Men tomed to call Manchuria their are notoriously so fairminded and possible to find, day after day, half

11 hundred inkboltins standing believers: life line," they are as determin- impartial that We make them Despite the inclination in some ed to protect their interests in judges and football referees. But out coming to the conclusion Wut about dangerously uncorked, with- quarters to place the onus for that region as a hungry man his dare any husband exercise these the latest war debt development last crust. But events are show-admirable qualities in the home? In the opinion of many it is mofT. on the United States, a study ofing that the protection of the I'll say he daren't. He may see the British Note leaves the imffe line" by the setting up of the other point of view, but he

Method in His Madness. pression that it is not America a puppet government is draining mustn't let on that he does. which is at fault, Britain is

I know a man whose wife once the Japanese budget. Already

Again, I had a friend in student quite prepared to pay the sum 100,000 troops have been requial-complained that the maid, with her days who was a brilliant exponent due on Thursday, but not as an tioned. In spite of them, how-broken the best ten-pot.

gross carelessness, had of the thory that organisation and annual instalment; she desires

method and order were a pitiful it to be treated us a capital pay; protective.

Jever,, the protection is hardly "But, my dear" he began.

With this wave of visitors from waste of time. As daily reports That was as far as he got, and ment, of which account should show, a force even on this order at the end of ten minutes he found

I wanted to borrow his hairwash Hollywood, we are able to give our be taken in the final re-adjust-cannot prevent trains from being himself apologising for being such

one day. He said I'd find it in his reader the low down on the Great ment of the whole question.wrecked, human life endangered, an outsider us to take the part of door, I could see at once there had

bedroom. But when I opened the Depression in the Land of Make

Believe. Regarded as an attempt to

and property destroyed. Some maid against his own wife. been a burglar in the place. I We interviewed one of ladies, secure a speedy re-examination of the whole war debt issue, the day Japan will recover from its Whereas whut he was expecting rushed downstairs to spread the Kiss Curl, you know, who

fears sufficiently to depose the to have to apologise for was being news, but he assured me he had starred in "Counterpains." She British representations must command widespread approval; army from the control of its so clumsy as to knock the ten-pot been up there only a moment ago poured out tea for us in her suite nevertheless, this does not disforeign policy and to try to in-off the table as he phased by.

Involved as the problem seems, sure its rights on the Asiatic it is really very simple, once you pose of the feeling that

Wis mainland without trampling on know how. The husband just has mistake in tactics has been the rights of others. made. The United States

to remember that he must always, Government

without reserve, accept and n- has made it

dorse whatever his wife says about the maid-except when she praises

perfectly clear, all the way through the recent negotiations,

that payment of the December

Punch

her.

Happily Discontented. Instalment is expected. Britain The change in the editorship has strongly represented the dif. of Punch is in England an event Women always pretend to be ficulties which payment involves, of almost national importance, looking for the perfect mald, but but she has shown no inclination Punch is a peculiarly English - to default. In the circums institution. So English, indeed, tances. the correct procedure that foreigners have often de- would appear to be to make the clared their inability to under- payment, but to inform the stand it! It has been asserted United States that this must not that, like the British Conatitu- be taken as a precedent for con- ftion the humour of Punch docs tinuing these annual remit-not exist. But English people, tances. The issue might have fare equally convinced that the been taken even a step further humour of Punch, again like the by expressing the hope that British Constitution, is the best America would take account of thing of its kind in the world.) this payment when. re-examin-Under the guidance of Sir Owen) ing the future of war debt com- [Seaman, who is as brilliant a mitments. That, it appears to scholar as he is a parodist, the us, is the full extent to which influence and prestige of Punch Britain would-be entitled to go, have probably been as high as at It seems clear that until the jany earlier date in its ninety-one funding agreement has been years history. This is saying modified by mutual conscnt, a good deal, for Punch has long Britain is not entitled to attach been able to draw upon the work strings to the December pay-of the foremost English authors ment: she must either pay it for and cartoonists. So great has what it is, or default. Mr. Stim-[been the wealth of material at son's reply, that the US. Trea- its disposal that it holds the sury has no authority to accept unique position of having been the payment except on the terms the only journal in the world to of the funding agreement, cor- reject a contribution from Char- reetly states the position. It is les Dickens at the height of his stated in the British Note that fame. Mr. Punch has never one of the reasons animating the been merely a humourist. In his British Government in deciding first issue he declared that his to pay the amount due is that aims were higher than "the the United States Government amusement of a thoughtless has expressed the view that pay- crowd, and the collection of ment will greatly increase the pense." He has always had a prospects of a satisfactory ap-kindly hand ready for the un- proach to the whole question. fortunate and the shafts of his But in saying so much, the U.S. wit have not been barbed with Government obviously meant malice. Mr. Knox is desvedly payment of the December instal- 'entering upon a high heritage.

and all was well.

Eventually I found the stuff quite by accident. It forming the duty of fourth leg to the chest of drawers,

per-

OUR XMAS NUMBER 18

OUT TO-DAY,

THE LOW-DOWN,

at the Peninsula.

Co-

"Gee," she said, "it's great to be In this prosperous looking burg.. Geo!"

"You honour vo," we replied, gallantly, in the grand old Kelly style.

If you had compelled him to be tidy and methodical he would have complained not only of intense Jia- "Aw. Gee, Mr. Kelly. Can it. comfort, but of irritation at the Cat it out. Let me and you get enormous amount of time he had acquainted right away and I' to waste making himself uncom-hand you out the real dope." fortable.

"And I say he's going to be a lawyer!"

#

A pitiful story it is too. We, who have been reading of the salary cuts of our pet cinoma pash and wept with them, little realise the full enormity of what is taking place. "Guess you think a million dollars a year is just the nanny- goat's stop-ins," said Miss Curl, "but believe you me, you don't know where a girl's gotta get off. They think you're kinda mud if ya don't keep ton autos and a yacht. And say, howja like to be high- hatted by a scenario writer, and Wop at that, because in your little place in the Hills, you've only got one swimming pool,"

Synthetic tears glistened In her beautiful eye, and we pressed her hand in silent symptly.

*

*

THINGS WE MISSED.

Our local artists don't go out for popularity. They paint a junk or two and a pansy and aro satio- fied.

Think of the crowds rushing to the local Art Exhibition if the pictures consisted of subjects like the following:

Gathering of the Clan Usque- baugh.

John Knox broadcasting. Inggis tending its Young, Darnley stabbing Rizzio Rizzio stabbing Darnley. Gathering of the Clan Hog- manay.

Flora MacDonald signing autographs for Americana,

The boy Barrie setting South- wards with a lump in his throat.