1932-12-06 — Page 6

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AS A.

Mouth Wash,

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SOOTHING, CLEANSING, DEODORIZING.

Per Bot. $1.00 & $2.50.

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH. TUESDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1932.

SYNCHRO MESH

elrable lines, Government sym- pathy, in a practical form, will be necessary. These are days, in practically all parts of the world, when Governments are easing the path of the agriculturist, but, Bo far, not a great deal has been

MISFITS OF ANNO

By “OLD STAGER" DOMINI

and

The Very Idea!

ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS By Edward Kelly, EAR Edward Kolly-Would you kindly anèwer a fow

DE

"Ardent Ad-

done in this direction as HISTORICAL biography pays from some of those rude

far too little attention to crude ancestors of the hippopo- Colony. Co-operative Credit So-what is perhaps the greatest mia-tamus!

On the other hand, Mr. Einstein, cieties and Agricultural Banks fortune that can happen to any could do wonders hore, if pro-human being. Yet Its pages are whom so many worthy people con- perly organised and run, but the strewn with the tragic wrecks of fuse with the famous sculptor, is Government will have to do more such personal dramas. The scur-well out of Galileo's opoch. The questions about yourself?-Yours, than merely sympathise with vicat trick that fate can play on mere mention of his relativity in respectful awe,

a signal | mirer." such movements. It should work mortal man, or woman for the mat-theory would have been

Equally it is self-evident that hand in hand with the Agriculter of that, is to let them be born for faggots and fire.

out of their right epoch.

our modern cor bandits have tural Association and be pre-

The mists of Anno Domini, pared to render substantial finan

cues. They should have been cial help where the wisdom of usually morocco-bound and in one egregiously missed their historical or more volumes, littor the bar hatched a century or two back, such assistance is demonstrated.

gain atalls of the second-hand when highway robbery was a com- bookshops. It, is commonly

paratively reputable calling and due to those enthusiasts who are knowledged a huge misfortune for the costume period lent some pfc- doing such excellent pioneer anyone to be born out of his pro-turesque appeal to ite work under the auspices of the per station in life, or even to practitioners. decisive Association. They may not see marry out of it, but auch perverso effortless steer-immediate results, but they are fortune cannot compare with the reach-me-down suit and a trilby smooth instantaneous laying the foundations of greater polgnant misadventure of being hat, and squints down the sights |

FAULTLESS

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and

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VAUXHALL CADET

The

Hongkong Telegraph.

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1932,

NEW TERRITORIES-

AGRICULTURE

progress to come.

Appeal for the Under Dog

A moving appeal is made

Lansbury, Mr. George

by

the

born in the wrong century.

ac-

A highwayman who

zealous

4

weare

of a blue-black automatic, is The example that most readily utterly declame. It is like dres- comes to mind at the moment is sing up Hamict in plus fours, or

tooth the ex-Kalser. Obviously his once putting a monocle and a

Mark Imperial Majesty was one of the brush moustache on twentieth-century's most ginringthony.

An-

Dear "Ardent · Admirer." You wish to know how old I am, etc... Age unknown, but re member being here before they the Shin started discussing Mung scheme ..... Colour of eyes? Watery ...... Favourite colours? Black and White.... Favourite songs? "Father, Get the Axo-There's a Flen Baby's Chest.” .............. Pot aver- Blon? Water .... Cordially, Edward Kelly..

DR.

If this sort of thing goes on, we will soon be turned into a Public Information Bureau. We don't mind a question like the above.

But you can nover tell when this thing will end.. For instance:

milafits. Some people might place. Again, I fancy our modern him as rightly located in the feminists are quite in the wrong Dear Edward Kelly,-My hus- Middle Ages, as a compeor of our century. Some epoch of B. C. in band used to go out every night, leader of the Labour Party, own Coeur de Lion in the shim Ancient Greece would far more and come in at midnight dead He mering chivalry of the Cruending appropriately have claimed our drunk. This worried me very in a letter to The times. calls attention to the condition epoch.

modern militant Amazons. The much. Now he still goes out, but of 3,000,000 of unemployed Another august figure that late Mra. Pankhurst might have comes in at 2 a.m. strictly sober. She What am I to do? Winsome "forced to lived on # mere strikes me as hopelessly mistimed made a big hit in Attica.

would' have. provided old man Winnle, pittance," their "ever increasingle the Emperor Nero. Recently Ulysses with one more adventure. degradation and penury," the unrest growing among them effort in certain literary circles to Sherlock, Beekeeper which needs no Russian in-paint him in much more favour-

fellow men

and there has been a praiseworthy

of

+

Dear Winnie-Feel more wor- rled.-Eddie.

4

Dear Bert. This question wants going into thoroughly. We will meet you at the Hong- kong Hotel at 5 p.m.—Yours en- thusiastically--Edward Kelly. Dear Edward Kelly,-Can't you write anything but awful drivvel? feel Your sort of rot makes me mnd. Hoping you are the same. -Pro Bono Publico.

Dear Pro Bono Publico,--You can go and

medieval Tower of London as a (No further purpose Сал be It would be possible to quote drop-scene. Primo Carnera has gained by continuing this corres- many other instances of personal obviously strayed out of Grimm'spondence, which must cease forth- anachroniam. I shall never cease Fairy Tales.

with-Ed. Telegraph).

·

.

SEZ ME.

But perhaps the unluckiest mor- Of course, it's not often we get fuences to account for it, and is able colours than sober history has tal of all is Mr. Sherlock Holmes.

a chance of replying to a letter occasional clashes done. But even at the best we Since Dr. Watson's romantic sling- leading to

like thin have to recognise that Nere was a consuming hero with the prize- with the police. He dwells on

Dear Edward Kelly.-Before I the paradox of a situation which hopeless megalomaniac, and one fighter dressing-gown retired from condemns men and women

of those people for whom to

con-Baker Street to Sussex, and turn-came out to Hongkong, my mother Himeed beekeeper, the newspapers have warned me of the evils of drink, lack work and food because tant change and exciting

light are simply vital.

been simply full of up-to-date crime especially in the tropics. I have there exists a superabundance

He would have been much more committed in complete harmony since discovered that, whilst some of commodities, and asks why appropriately placed in the pre- with those problems that so much liquors are harmful; others would the Government is "economis-sent century and in U.S.A. A appealed to the celebrated detective, prove most beneficial. Which ing on work which would give Capone and he might have divided Most of these crimes, moreover, would you recommend?-Bertie

"undiscovered" in more consuming power to the the gunman gangster for publi- remain

the Blither. masses, and hence more oppor-elty at all costs. What n sedative, Scotland Yard sense of that much- be In- tunity to producers. Refusing too, he would have found in our misused word. It must

saxo- tolerably aggravating for an ac- to believe that unemployment or modern jazz with muted

tive Mr. Holmes, with his faithful poverty is an "act of God or a phone! freak of nature," he inveighs In the same way I respectfully chronicler gone, to find an epi- demic of frat-class crime brenking against the "man-made evil of submit that our Henry VIII, of out Immediately after he retired destitution in the midst of magnificent matrimonial memory, front business. plenty," and appeals to organize would have flourished more plea-

We have plenty of other mis. war against poverty as carnestlysantly in a twentieth-century set-fits of Anno Domini without turn- romance literature for them. as it organized a war against its ting. Had he been alive to-day, ing

and of the same chameleon Who Is there,

sex always feel that two

of Fleet complex, the American divorco Street's prominent newspaper any party, or any nation, who is aws would have saved him much Barons ought to have had the not ready to sympathise with trouble with the Pope, Admirable as the display at Mr. Lansbury's ardent appeal? the New Territories agricultural One cannot but feel that if there show was in some respects, even were as much whole-hearted en- its sponsors would admit that it thusiasm among all the well-in to regret that it is impossible to Mr. Lloyd George ought to have was not all that it might be. But tentioned people of England who hear what Dr. Samuel Johnson, been one of Merlin's contempor. Mr. George Robey palp- that is quite understandable. The are in favour of a moderate and might have said, or written, about aries. Hon. Mr. Southorn touched on enlightened policy, the resultant some of our modern politicians ably should have been Court Jes- the slowness of the results in his driving power would soon re- and many of our up-to-date liter-ter to Queen Boadices. Mr. Max

ton must have shown sheer care- opening speech, and he had no move the difficulties which areary lights.

lessness in missing the French Ter. difficulty in meeting the criti. hanging like a millstone round And what an irreparable mis-rer. And the more stentorian of his cisms along these lines. Agri- the necks of the nations. Even fortune it is for all of us that we LP, colleagues are righly co-eval culture, as he remarked, is, of all to-day, after three years of cannot laten-in on the wireless, with the Bull of Bashan, industries, the slowest to adopt economic stress such as no living though perhaps a loud apeaker But where would one place new ideas, and at the same time person remembers, there is still would be rather overdoing things, Margot Asquith, Countess of Ox- it is the slowest to show the re- lacking a full imaginative re- to Dr. Johnson's broadcasting some ford? I think she, like Rider sults of new ideas once they are alisation of the personal afflic- of his views on current affairs and Haggard's She, is immortal, and adopted. The traditional con- tion it has brought upon mil-contemporary celebrities! Even belongs to all nations and all times.

"GK.C." at his most paradoxical servatism of the agriculturist is lions of human beings in our is but a poor substitute for the nowhere more evidenced than in midst. It is the first duty of re-great lexicographer. the case of the Chinese, who still formers to realize the true state cling to many cld-fashioned ideas of affairs, not in terms of statis- Paleolithic Epstein in the tiling of the aoil. It only ties, but of human experience. requires a tour through the New And it is well that we should Territories to find proof for this listen to such men as Mr. Lans assertion. We have to remem-bury, who know the lives of the ber that until quite recently the poor, and can interpret statistica average occupier of land in the in terms of what they feel and New Territories has been quite suffer. content to grow sufficient for the needs of himself, his family and his few immediate neighbours who may not themselves be agriculturists. There had been n big market at his very door, in Hongkong and Kowloon, but for

Rock For Horses

In the Marylebone Road in London there stands a little man whose strange trade forma

*

a variety of reasons, amongst link with the past. His ram- which the chief are probably lack shackle handcart is ornamented of capital and the absence of or with the sign, "Rock for ganised marketing facilities, he Horses." Many of the hurrying has largely ignored the oppor-passers-by must be mystifled as tunities which this market pro- they glance at the pinkish lumps vides. These facts will explain of rock, looking far from ap- the difficulties and obstacles petising, spread out on an old which the New Territories Agri-piece of sackcloth. A kind word cultural Association have had to to the owner the cart brings face. But there is no need for an animated smile to hip pessimism, Already, as a result. face. Even though you do of the Association's efforts, there not want to buy any of his rock, has been a marked increase in he is delighted at being noticed the growth of vegetables for the in a world where he seems out of Hongkong market, and, without place. He talks cagerly of the a doubt, there is the promise of days when he carried on a roar- even greater expansion in thising trade with half London's direction. Indeed, there is a aristocracy among his clients. magnificent opportunity for the "But what on earth is that New Territories both in vege-queer-looking stuff," you ask table-growing and in poultry him. "It's rock salt for putting in farming, for Hongkong can take horses' mangers; they like lick- all that can be supplied in these ing it," is his answer. "No good two spheres of activity. The stables over used to be without advantage of the Colony being it," he continues, And if you self-supporting in these matters have time to spare, ho will tell is too obvious to need emphasis-you about the "grand bld days" ing. Whilst Mr. Southorn was of stately coaches and prancing right in deprecating too hasty horses. "Better than those appeal to the Government for noisy things," he remarks as a funds for individual works, it la passing bus backfires, a driver clear that if the New Territories crashes his gears, and a strident are to develop along the moat do-- Klaxon blares Impatiently.

A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY

Contrariwise, it acems to me that Mr. Epstein's true metier RECOMMEND VIRTURE TO YOUR would have been the paleolithic CHILDREN; THAT ALONE NOT age and the spacious days of the WEALTHI CAN GIVE HAPPINESS; I tiger. What in-BPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE-Beeth Babre-toothed spiration he would have drawn oven.

"And now Mrs, Perkins, who visited Timbuctoo, this

summer, will sum up the political aituation."

As one fellow scribe to another, Edward Kelly met Robert Mac- Whirter upon his arrival by the Blue Faunel liner Menelaus yes- terday.

The following conversation is reported as having taken place:

Edward Kelly: "Begorra and Begosh. "Tis plaised I am to be maitin' ye, to be shure, to be shure, Mister McWhirter."

"Rabble": Hoots, mon! Hoo in th' de'll d'ye expect me to onner- tan' ye. Canna ye speak th King's English, mon?"

•

•

CRICKET PROSPECTS. With the opening of the Test matches, we have been brushing up memory of our leading profes- sionals. We ought to have done this before:

Baldwin (Worcestershire) is in much his usual form. A "safety first" batsman of the usual type, he is difficult to get out, but has nover yet made any runs,

Runciman (Cornwall) has do- veloped some new strokes, among them a pretty left-handed jab. Ha chlof defect is lack of con- centration; cannot remember which side he is supposed to be on. He has more than once run out his partner (with obvious enjoyment) and in a trial match recently was at pains to stump himself.

Churchill has this year a quali- fication for Essex. A dangerous bowler, with a tendency to throw, As a bat gives easy catches in the deep.

Thomas (Derbyshire). Clover at times, but a fumbler. His form against the Canadiana was erratic too many dropped aitches In the alips.

Out

George (Carnarvonshiro). of practice, but still a lusty awiper, Still acorns to use glovos or pads. George comes of cricket. ing stock. "His son takes after him," said Wisden to us recently. "Yes," we rejoined, "and thero's a pretty maiden. over."

Beaverbrock (unattached). An enthusiast, though ho cannot get a place in a team Wanders dis- consolately about the pitch, dig ging holes in the turf. If "quen- tioned, "I am an Umpire," he says, "on whom the sun never rises."

Bamuel (Lanca.). A sticker, If there ever were ono. Seventeen appeals for Lb.w. before he went out.