1932-12-06 — Page 18

THE BEST

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AGAINST

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AS A

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SOOTHING, CLEANSING, DEODORIZING.

Per Bot. $1.00 & $2.50.

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH.

SYNCHRO MESH

FAULTLESS

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1932.

sirable lines, Government aynı- pathy, in a practical form, will be necessary. These are days, in practically all parts of the world, when Governments are easing the path of the agriculturist, but,

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MISFITS OF ANNO

DOMINI

By "OLD STÅGER”

The mists of Anno Domini,

▸

The Very Idea!

ANSWERS TO CORRESPONDENTS By Edward Kelly. BAR Edward Kelly.--Would you kindly answer a fow

İDD

Dear "Ardent Admirer."— You wish to know how old I am, etc...... Age unknown, but re- member being here before they started discussing tho Shiu Mung scheme...... Colour of eyes Watory....... Favourite colours? Black and White.. Favourite songs7 "Father, Get the Axe There's a Flea on Baby's Chest.**

sion? Water Edward Kelly.

Pet aver- Cordially,

But you can haver tell when this thing will end. For instance:

so far, not a great deal has beenISTORICAL blography pays from some of those rude and done in this real has been H

far too little attention to crude ancestors of the hippopo- Culony. Co-operative Credit So what is perhaps the greatest mis- tamus!

On the other hand, Mr. Einstein, cieties and Agricultural Banks fortune that can happen to any could do wonders here, if pro- human being. Yet its pages are whom so many worthy people con- perly organised and run, but the atrewn with the tragic wrecks of fun with the famous sculptor, is Government will have to do more such personal dramas. The scur- well out of Galileo's epoch. The questions about yourself? Yours, than merely sympathist with vist trick that fate can play on meie mention of his relativity in respectful awe, "Ardent Ad-

a signal mirer." such movements. It should work mortal man, or woman for the mat-theory would have been hand in hand with the Agriculter of that, is to let them bo born for faggots and fire.

out of their right epoch.

Equally it is self-evident that tural Association and be pre-

our modern car bandits havo pared to render substantial finan- cial help where the wisdom of usually morocco-bound and in one egregiously missed their historical hatched a century or two back, such assistance is demonstrated, or more volumes, litter the bar-cuca. They should have been gain atalls of the second-hand

when highway robbery was a com、 bookshops. It is commonly ac- due to those enthusiasts who are knowledged a huge misfortune for the costume period lent some pic- paratively reputable calling and doing such excellent plonear anyone to be born out of his pro-turesque appeal to ite zealous work under the auspices of the per station in life, or even to practitioners, decisive Association. They may not seemarry out of It, but auch perverso A highwayman who wears a effortless steer-immediate results, but they are fortune cannot compare with the reach-me-down suit and a trilby laying the foundations of greater poignant miaadventure of being hat, and squints down the sights

born in the wrong century. progress to come.

of a blue-black automatic, fa The example that most readily utterly declasse. It is like drea

If this sort of thing goes on, we comes to mind at the moment is sing up Hamlet in plus fours, or will soon be turned into a Public the ex-Kaiser. Obviously his once putting a monocle and a

tooth Information Bureau. Wo don't Imperial Majesty was one of the brush moustache on Mark Ah-mind a question like the above twentieth-century's most glaringthony. misfits. Some people might place yet the saloon (with A moving appeal is made by him as rightly located in the feminists are quite in the wrong Again, I fancy our modern

Dear Edward Kelly-My hus- Mr. George Lansbury, the

Middle Ages, as a compeor of our century. Some epoch of B. C. in band used to go out every night, leader of the Labour Party, own Coeur de Lion in the shim-Ancient Greece would for more and come in at midnight doad in a letter to The times. Ho mering chivalry of the Crusading appropriately have claimed our drunk. This worried calla attention to the condition | epoch.

modern militant Amazone. The much. Now ho still goes out. but of 3,000,000 of unemployed

august figure that late Mrs. Pankhurst might have comes in at 2 a.m. strictly sober. "forced to lived

mere strikes me as hopelessly mistimed made a big hit in Attica. She What am I to do? Winsome pittance," their "ever increasing la the Emperor Nero. Recently would have provided old man Winnie.

Ulysses with one more adventure. degradation and penury," and thore has been 4 praiseworthy:

Dear Winnic,-Feel more wor the unrest growing among them effort in certain literary circles to Sherlock, Beckcoper

rled.-Eddie. which needs no Russian in-paint him in much more favour-

But perhaps the unluckiest mor- fluences to account for it, and is able colours than sober history has tal of all in Mr. Sherlock Holmes. occasional clashes done. But even at the best we Since Dr. Vatson's romantic sbag- leading to

have to recognise that Nero was consuming hero with the prize- with the police.. He dwells on the paradox of a situation which hopeleen megalomaniac, and one fighter dressing-gown retired from Dear Edward Kelly-Before I condemns men and women of those people for whom non-Baker Street to Sussex, and turn-came out to Hongkong, my mother food because stant change and exciting lime-led beekeeper, the newspapers have warned me of the evils of drink, been simply full of up-to-date crima especially in the tropics. I have there exists a superabundance light are simply vital.

He would have been much more committed in complete harmony since discovered that, whilst some of commodities, and asks why appropriately placed in the pre- with those problems that so much liquors are harmful, others would the Government is "economis-

sent century and In U.S.A. A appealed to the celebrated detective, prove most beneficial. Which ing" on work which would give Capone and he might have divided

Most of these crimes, moreover, would you · recommend?-Bertie more consuming power to the the gunman gangster for publi- remain "undiscovered" in the Blither. massca, and hence more oppor-elty at all costs. What a sedative, Scotland Yard sense of that much- tunity to producers. Refusing too, he would have found in our misused word. It must be in to believe that unemployment or modern jazz with muted Baxa- tolerably_aggravating for an ac

tive Mr. Holmes, with his faithful poverty is an "act of God or a phone! freak of nature," he inveighs In the same way I respectfully chronicler gone, to find an epi- demic of first-class crime breaking against the "man-made evil of submit that our Henry VIII, of out immediately after he retired destitution in the midst of magnificent matrimonial memory, from business.

THE HONGKONG HOTEL GARAGE

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The

Hongkong Telegraph

TUESDAY, DECEMBER 6, 1932.

NEW TERRITORIES AGRICULTURE

lack work and

ол

to

Another

and of the same chameleon

vory

Of course, it's not often we get a chance of replying to a letter like this:

Dear Pro Bono Publico.-You can go and ........

Dear Bert. This question wants going into thoroughly. We will meet you at the Hong- kong Hotel at 5 p.m.-Yours en- thusiastically, Edward Kelly, Dear Edward Kelly, Can't you write anything but awful drivvol? plenty," and appeals to organize would have flourished more plen- We have plenty of other mis- Your sort of rot makes me feel war against poverty as carnestly santly in a twentieth-century set-fits of Anno Domini without turn mad. Hoping you are the same. as it organized a war against itsting. Had he been alive to-day, ing to romance literature for them.Pro Bono Publico. fellow men. Who Is there, of

sex I always feel that two of Fleet any party, or any nation, who is complex, the American divorce Street's prominent newspaper laws would have saved him had the medieval Tower of London as a Admirable as the display at Mr. Lansbury's ardent appeal? the New Territories agricultural One cannot but feel that if there many other instances of personal obviously strayed out of Grimm's It would be possible to quote drop-scene. Primo Carnera has show was in some respects, even were as much whole-hearted en anachronism. I shall never cease Fairy Tales. its sponsors would admit that it thusiasm among all the well-in- was not all that it might be. But tentioned people of England who that is quite understandable. The are in favour of a moderate and Hon. Mr. Southorn touched on enlightened policy, the resultant the slowness of the results in his driving power would soon rc opening speech, and he had no move the dificulties which areary lights..

trouble with the Pope.

(No further purpose can be pondence, which must cease forth- gained by continuing this corres-

with-Ed. Telegraph),

SEZ ME.

reported as having taken place:

"Rabble": Hoots, mon! Hoo In th' de'll d'yo expect me to onner- tan' ye, Canna ye speak' th' King's English, mon?"

to regret that it la impossible to Mr. Lloyd George ought to have hear what Dr. Samuel Johnson Leen one of Merlin's contempor might have said, or written, about aries. Mr. George Robey palp-

As one fellow scribe to another, some of our modern politicians ably should have been Court Jes- and many of our up-to-date liter-ter to Queen Boadicea. Mr. Max-Edward Kelly met Robert Mac- ton must have shown sheer care- Whirter upon his arrival by the difficulty in meeting the criti-hanging like a millstone round. And what an irreparable mis-lessness in missing the French Ter-Blue Funnel liner Menelaus yes- cisms along these lines. Agri- the necks of the nations. Even fortune it is for all of us that we for. And the more stentorian of his terday. culture, as he remarked, is, of all to-day, after three years of cannot listen-in on the wireless, with the Bull of Bashan.

I.L.P. colleagues are righly co-eval The following conversation is industries, the slowest to adopt economic stress such as no living though perhaps a loud speaker) But where would one place Edward Kelly: "Begorra and new ideas, and at the same time person remembers, there is still would be rather overdoing things. Margot Aaquith, Countess of Ox- Begosh. Tis plaised I am to be it is the slowest to show the re- lacking a full imaginative re-to Dr. Johnson's broadcasting some ford? I think she, like Rider maitin' ye, to be shure, to be shure, sults of new ideas once they are alisation of the personal afflic-of his views on current affairs and Haggard's She, is immortal, and Mister McWhirter." adopted. The traditional con- tien it has brought upon mil-contemporary celebrities! Even belongs to all nations and all times.

"G.K.C." at his most paradoxical. servatism of the agriculturist is lions of human beings in our is but a poor substitute for thei nowhere more evidenced than in midst. It is the first duty of re-great lexicographer. the case of the Chinese, who still formers to realize the true state cling to many cld-fashioned ideas of affairs, not in terms of statis- in the tilling of the soil. It only tics, but of human experience. requires a tour through the New And it is well that we should Territories to find proof for this listen to such men as Mr. Lans assertion. We have to remem-bury, who know the lives of the ber that until quite recently the poor, and can interpret statistics average occupier of land in the in terms of what they feel and New Territories has been quite suffer. content to grow sufficient for the needs of himself, his family and his few immediate neighbours who may not themselves bu agriculturista. There had been a big market at his very door, in Hongkong and Kowloon, but for

Rock For Horses

In the Marylebone Road in London there stands a little man whose strange trade forms

41

a variety of reasons, amongst link with the past. His ram which the chief are probably lack shackle handcart is ornamented of capital and the absence of or with the sign, "Rock for ganised marketing facilities, he Horsee." Many of the hurrying has largely ignored the oppor- passers-by must be mystified as tunities which this market pro- they glance at the pinkish lumps vides. These facts will explain of rock, looking far from ap the difficulties and obstacles petising, spread out on an old which the New Territories Agri- piece of sackcloth. A kind word cultural Association have had to to the owner the cart brings face. But there is no need for an animated smile to his pessimism. Already, as a result face. Even though you do of the Association's efforts, there not want to buy any of his rock, has been a marked increase in he is delighted at being noticed the growth of vegetables for the in a world where he seems out of Hongkong market, and, without place. He talks eagerly of the a doubt, there is the promise of days when he carried on a roar- oven greater expansion in this ing trade with half London's direction. Indeed, there is a aristocracy among his clients. 'magnificent opportunity for the "But what on earth is that

New Territories both in vege- queer-looking stuff,"

you ask table-growing and in poultry him. "It's rock salt for putting in farming, for Hongkong can take horses' mangers; they like lick all that can be supplied in these ing it," is bis answer. "No good two spheres of activity. The stables ever used to be without advantage of the Colony being it," he continues. And if you self-supporting in these matters have time to spare, he will tell is too obvious to need emphasis- you about the "grand old days" ing. Whilst Mr. Southorn was of atately coaches and prancing right in deprecating too hasty horses. "Better than those appeal to the Government for noisy things," he remarks as R funds for individual works, it is passing bus backfires, a driver clear that if the New Territories crashes his gears, and a strident are to develop along the most de klaxon blares impatiently,

Paleolithic Epstein

A THOUGHT FOR TO-DAY

VIRTURE TO YOUR

*

Contrariwise, it seems to me

CRICKET PROSPECTS, that Mr.. Epstein's true metler RECOMMEND

With the opening of the Teat would have been the paleolithic CHILDREN; THAT ALONE — NOT matches, we have been brushing ore and the spacious days of the WEALTH CAN GIVE HAPPINESS; I up memory of our leading profes- sabre-toothed tiger. What in-SPEAK FROM EXPERIENCE-Beethsionals. We ought to have done

this before: spiration he would have drawn oven.

Baldwin (Worcestershire) is in much his usual form. A "safety firet" batsman the usual type, he is difficult to get out, but has never yet made any runs.

1

"And now Mrs. Perkins, who visited Timbuctoo, this

summer, will sum up the political situation."

Runciman (Cornwall) has do- veloped some new strokes, among them a pretty left-handed jab. His chief defect is lack of con- centration; cannot remember which side he is supposed to be on. He has more than once run. out his partner (with obvious enjoyment) and in a trial match recently was at pains to stump himself.

Churchill has this year a quali- fication for Euscx. A dangerous bowler, with a tendency to throw. As a bat gives easy catches in the deep.

Thomas (Derbyshire). Clover at times, but a funibler. His form against the Canadians was erratic too many dropped nitches in the slips.

George (Carnarvonshire). Out of practica, but still a lusty awiper. Still scorns to use gloves or pads. George comes of cricket- ing stock. "His son takes after him," said Wisden to us recently... "Yes," wa rejoined, "and there's a pretty maiden over.".

Beaverbrock (unattached), An. onthusiast, though, he cannot got a placa in a team. Wandera dia- consolately about the pitch, dig ging holes in the turf. If ques tioned, "I am an Umpire," he says, "on whom the sun never risos.

Samuel (Lance,). A sticker, It there ever were one. Sevoniosa appeals for 1.b.w. before he want. out,