1927-09-20 — Page 9

HOME SMUGGLING MYSTERY.

MEN'S ROW FROM A

'MOTOR-BOAT.

LORRY'S JOURNEYS.

SWIMMING GALA..

ARMY COMPETITIONS ON

THURSDAY.

the CPP

HONGKONG TELEGRAPH,

OUR DAILY TALK ON HEALTH.

MEDICAL ETHICS PROBLEM FOR MANY.

CUSTOM AND SENSE,

TUESDAY, SEPTEMBER 20,

“GAG-MEN” OF THE FILMS.

JOKES THAT MAKE

A SCENE.

Inside a dozen studios and places where, films are planned sad-faced men are siting gloomily to-day, their heads between their hands.

Some sit alone, Others congre-

The third annual swimming gala of the South China Command Sports Board will take place at the R. A. S. C. Camber on Thursday at 3.30 p.m. The events include unit relay race for the championship cup presented To the public as a whole, the Eastchurch (Isle of Sheppey): by the Soldiers' Club, Army boys A story of smuggling in a se handicap race, individual Army chaty question of medical ethics seems gate, in dismal groups. Their good bit of a mystery. The faces betray signs of intense cluded, buy on this part of the pionship race for the cup presented Kent cost is being investigated by by Messrs. Lane, Crawford Ltd, the average man believes that medical thought. But they are not, as one the Custom authorities,

Luard championship cup race, 120 ethics were developed primarily might imagine, high-souled and yards championship of the Army in for the physician, and with little sensitive persons overcome with The police have made a report ilongkong, Army girls handicap race, regard for the patient. If this grief at the prospect of all the concerning the movements of a 150 yards championship race for cup | average man balieves that that horrors that will be perpetrated mysterious motor lorry at night presented by officers of small units, should be a code of conducta set in the name of art on the screen, during the next twelve months Simultaneously with the appear diving competition for ance of this vehicle, which passed presented by Messrs. Steel, Coulson of principles which should governwrites Iris Barry in a Home paper. along the road between Warden and Co., unit team race for the cup the actions of the medical profes- These sombre people are funmakers. Film comedies Bay and Eastchurch, a large presented by the Royal Artillery, sion at large-ho is often at a loss motor-boat was seen from which pillow fight, and the Services relay to know how to tell an ethical and always in demand, and at least

team two men rowed to the shore.

championship for the cup scientific doctor from an unethi-one comic situation is expected in presented by the H. K. V. D. C. War len Bay, a quiet spot on the

For the latter race entries have cal and ignorant one.

every comedy. The people who Tu many cases, public judgment think hard and invent new comic north side of the island, has been received from the Royal Navy,

small bungalow colony. At Army, Royni Air Force and the is based on the kind of a ear the film business are known as "gag-

Hongkong Volunteer Defence Corps. doctor drives, the church he at-men." the northern extremity of the bay This event will take place on Friday tends, his wife's social position. is a flag which denotes the limit

Harold Lloyd's band of gag- owing to the his whiskers, or the protuberance men are internationally famous, heavy, programnie on Thursday it is as his abdomen. Frequently a forty- because it was announced that it thought that the Army representa eight-inch waist measure is taken is they who invented the famous tives would not be able to do them as the equivalent of a forty-eight comedian's ludicrous and delight- selves full justice,

caliber brain. The fact remains, ful misadventures with skyscrap-

man may score ers, footballs, and hymn-books. however, that a

Making Jokes.

A

of the Port of London Authority's jurisdiction.

On some high ground is an old building known as Nutt's Farm. where during recent reconstruc- tion work a smugglers' cache is said to have been found.

on

were

about 5.15 p.m., as

All units in the Command: have entered for the various events and keen sport is promised. A further interesting feature will be the water polo match between the 31st Heavy Battery R. A. and the Rest. Prizes will be distributed by His Excellency the G. O. C. South China Commmid at the conclusion of the sports on Thursday,

SHANGHAI BOWLS.

high on all these points and still not be able to tell whether a six- king pain in the pit of the ab damen is due to an inflamed gall bladder or a gastric ulcer.

the

are

Other gag-men of filmdom, how- Vicar Informs Police..

ever, must be equally well known if the old adage "Ey their works At about 2 o'clock the other

shall ye know them" is true. night residents the high

The recognized principles of There is the one who every few ground above the buy

ethics for the medical profession months or so springs to his feet awakened by the pussing and re-

emphasize first of all the duties of with a shout of triumph and an- passing of a heavy motor vehicle.

the physician to his patient. [nounces that he has hit on a Among those who were disturbed

These duties include service as, an brand-new joke. "We'll make one by the unusual noise was the Rev.

ideal, patience and delicacy as of the characters sit down all R. E. Harding, vicar of Leysdown, who lives on the road leading from

highly desirable, full assumption unsuspecting, on a hot stove!" he the bay to Eastchurch. He said:

of responsibility once a case has eries. And this new joke gets WRIGHT WINS CHAMPIONSHIP been undertaken.

J into a film. When I was awakened by the BY SMALL MARGIN.

Solicitation of patients is con- Some of the best-known jokes noiac I thought at first it was a

sidered as unprofessional and un-are heavy lorry taking wood for the By the narrow

margin of two

The fully clothed man who falls construction of a bungalow, but points, Gordon Wright defented Cethical, but the customs of the it returned too quickly for that. Sequiera in the semi-final round community in which the physician accidentally into a swimming pool to. have been the case.

of the lawn bowls singles, cham-lives should govern his actions. full of pretty girls. The expionship at Shanghai, the final score if it has been the custom to pub- morning 1 found that no wood had being 21-19. A really fast green and lish a business card in the local washing or a carpet hung on a been delivered and I mentioned a cross wind undoubtedly contributed newspaper, there is no reason why clothes-line which butts whoever |

n

Results, after all, govern physician's standing in his com-

the matter to the police. After to much loose bowling on the part of he may not do so. wards I was told about the motor boat.

Following a report. Customs officers visited Warden Bay in company with the police and at tempted to trace the tracks of the lorry.

Mr. J. Fitzgerald, of the War den Bay Transport and Trading Company, who first noticed the metor-bont said:

The Customs and police officers said they were attempting to trace the tracks of a lorry, but all trace of them had vanished. I mentioned the motor-boat that had seen lying off the shore early the same morning. The motor: bont seemed to me to be the life- boat of a fairly big steamer. Two men put off from the motor-boat in a rowing boat to the shore, and wondering what they were doing I went to speak to them. They said they came from Westeliff, so I asked them how long it took them. They hesitated and were unable to say, although it is only some 15 miles off.

When asked the officers who searched the bench if they thought activa that smigglers had been here. One of them said. "It is possible." I then asked what they thought the men had been smuggling, and an officer said. "Probably bottled stuff."

The bench here is ideal far, bringing in a boat of any kind. It is very flat and at high tide a boat can be run aground high up on the shore with the greatest of ease. If a lorry were going to meet the boat it could drive dowa almost to it.

The manor house, on the north of the bay, would make a fine landing mark at night if the lights were burning.

house, which The manor known as Warden Court, is accu- piled by Mr. E. Richards. Mr. Richards told me that he had not actually seen the boat in question, but several times had had his sus- picions aroused by craft lying off the shore for no particular reason.

The motor-boat was also noticed by Miss Brisby who lives on the foreshore.

l

.. Wardon Court is said to be more than 400 years old. There is passage, now blocked up, under the house which, Mr. Richards saya, leads underground to the cliff, and is thought to have been used by smugglers in days gone by.

Apparently, as a result of much rain, recently, a portion of an Abertillery street collapsed and o van, driven by B. James of Aber- Lillery, somersaulted down the mountain side and crashed into an allotment. James had a severe humping, but crawled from under

neath the van none the worse for his experience. Exciting scenes Coccurred at Coalville, Lefeester- shire, during a severe thunder- storm, The main streets were flooded to a depth of several feet, and the becoming impassible, water rushed into shops, houses and cinema theatres. One plcture house was struck by lightning. which fused the electric light, and the place was plunged into com piele darkness.

The goat concealed behind

goes to beat the carpet or in the washing...

The sticky Hy-paper.

take

both players, nevertheless it was a ding-dong struggle and interest was

The loss of a pair of trousera. maintained from start to finish.

At the seventh end Wright led 7-5 munity. Fortunately, the men but at the fourteenth Sequiera had who are great in medicine are also type of American male underwear This alone has made a certain gained the lead to the advantage of likely to be great in heart and familiar in five continents. 11-9. At the twenty-first end Se- mind and spirit. quiera gained a lead of four points, The score board reading 1814 and at, the end of the twenty-third the score was level at 18 all,

Sequiera bowled eleverly to gain one point, in the next end, but Wright made matters all square again and it required only two more ends to finish the match.

WORLD'S RECORD.

GERMAN WINS THOUSAND METRES

Paris, Sept, 19.

Al the athletic meeting organised in honour of the American Legion, the German, Peltzer, covered 1,000 metres in 1 min. 45. 4/5 secs., which is a world's record-Neuter.

PRELIMINARIES.

PROGRAMME FOR THURSDAY'S FIGHT.

The lion which frightens a col- oured man so much that he turns white. Sometimes a ghost is used instead of a lion.

The very short man who asks a very tall woman to dance.

The bear which frightens every comedian who goes mountaineer- ing.

The skunk.

Funny at First.

Chiengo, Sept. 13 Sluggers who will provide the Astic soup, fish and entree as pre- These jokes were. funny when liminary for the Tunney-Dempsey they were first made and Chaplin championship battle here September used several of them originally. 22 were announced to-day as follows: But just as red noses are less ap- George Larotio vs. Armand Em-preciated on the music-hall stage vs. Knute to-day than they used to be, so many of the veteran "gags" of the films pall nowadays. For the funniest jokes are those which are based not on absolute absur

manuel.

"Big Boy" Peterson Hanson.

Chuck Wiggins vs. Jim Byrne, Billy Vidabeck vs. Marty Burke. George Manley vs. Yale Okun.

LINGUAPHONE LANGUAGE RECORDS

ENGLISH, FRENCH,

SPANISH, ITALIAN, GERMAN, ETC, EASILY LEARNED WITH THE HELP OF YOUR GRAMOPHONE, 24-PAGE BOOK FREE. AND DEMONSTRATIONS

AT

Anderson

[Music Co., Ed.

St. George's Buildings.

Our Portrait is of Mr. E. F. 'WHEELER, of 22, Regent Stroot, Balby, Doncaster, England, who writes:-

"About two years ago I had a nasty I had wound break out in my big too. it attended to for about three months, but during that time it had spread to ali the toes, with the result that I had to undergo an operation, but with no avail Then, after another operation, as it did not get any better, I thought 1 would give your 'Clarke's Blood Mixture" a trial After taking the first three betties I could walt better, and now after having nine bottles the wound has quite healed, and I am pleased to say I have not seen any sign of it breaking out since."

Glandular

Sufferers from Bad Lege Abscesses. Ulcers

Swellings, Plo Eczema, Balls, Pimples. Erupildas, Rheumatism,, Qout should realise that lotions and ojaimonsa can but giva temporary relief to be sure of complets and lasting benefit, the blood must be thoroughly cleansed of the impure walle matier, the true cause of such troubles, Clarku's Blood Mixtura quickly attacks, overcames, and expals the impurities, that is why so many remarkable recoveries aland to its credit. Pleasant to take, 270 free from lejudoug ingredients.

Of all Dealers-see that you get

Jack MeCarn vs. Wyoming Warner, dilties but on observations of real Clarke's Blood Mixture

THE "PEEL

"PEEL TING-

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THE "REAL" THING

ID 1928 ST NEA SURVCI DICI

❤"Everglosty's Blood Purifier,” D

1927.

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Lki

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Lupino Lane and Buster Keaton, whether they employ gag-men or inven- not, are often extremely tive in humour; and Lloyd's team first- invariably find at least one rate funny situation, for each of. his new pictures.

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But a good many of the fun- makers employed in making the Capital (fully paid up) average film comedies would be Reserve Fand

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amusement seems to be to encour- age some bewildered film actor.to hit another bewildered film-actor Hom over the heads with a large mallet Bus Ayres for no reason, and to bid us laugh at that. Our faces grow as long as theirs always are, according to the best reports, while they are thinking up their hoary merri- ments.

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