1927-04-30 — Page 11

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH,

MIXED GRILL

A Merry Miscellary Ashley Sterne

however, orchestra. He, found time during this exacting period to compose a few smaller works, including the lovely sonnta for the B-flat stomach-pump, and the ever popular tone-pocm entitl- fed "Life. a Sewage Farm."

Further details next week.

Un

Ometally, speaking by the al-day, by general request, returning to his native town of Splunk. manac, Spring has arrived once more, and though at the moment where he devoted the next twelve of writing the March sun does not years to setting the Encyclopaedia feel like May, thero are neverthe-Britannica to music for chorus less certain indications that the and season of love, lamb, onions, chickens, and household upheaval has begun. This morning, for example, I heard the song of the chuff-chiff (or lenser grass-cut- ter) in next door's back garden; likewise the somewhat strident notes

double-handled of the creaker for greater lawn-roller.) Yesterday, too, 1 encountered in Fleet Street quite a number of lank-haired, wild-eyed, unshaven individuals, limping painfully along with huge Polls of MS. under their arms. These, of course, were the Spring Poets who had just been violently (albeit righte- ously) kicked out of the various

editorial offices. Amongst them I was most distressed to note my friend, that sweet singer Mr. Beasley Tosher. He is of a cali-i bre, far far superior to that of the ordinary Spring Poet, and 1 was deeply grieved when he told me that he had inaccesfully of fered his poem, "Lanes to a Spring Mattress, to no fewer than 187 editors. By his kind permission, secured under the influence of a considerable quantity of alcoholic stimulant. I am privileged to give to a panting public, ever enger to hear a new chord struck from Mr. Tosher's lyre, thege immortal They will appear lower down. For the moment I have mislaid them. I fear I have in- adverlently used them to bring home my fish-and-chips in last night.

VOTEIHI

From "Our Own Correspondent" of one of the most leading London Dallies, whe has been conducting an investigation in the South of France on behalf of his paper, 1) eúl the following.

"When leaving, i observed that the villa was being watched by scerel police."-

That's the worst of the continen-

# *

A

Lines To A Spring Mattress. Whene'er 1 1ny upon my bed My weary, unkempt, greasy hund, Adurned with many a flat tress, I thank whatever gods there be: That you are there to comfort me, My own belov'd spring mattress.

I much prefer you to the port That's stuffed with woul or flock,

nod bought

From some Australian squattress, (Here I must pause to inter- polate that the "att" in "Squat- Tress" must be pronounced short, as in "nat." A squattress is, of course, a female squatter, or wool-

atherer.)

I could not

dreams-

LABOUR'S PROTEST.

11

"TRADE UNIONS

THREATENED."

London, April 29. The Labour Party's compaigu against the Trade Union Bill open- ed to-day, when 600 delegates' re- presenting nearly four million Trade Unionists met in conference in London.

By a coincidence it was the an- niversary of a similar conference which Inst year

decided on the, general strike,

Discussion began on a resolution which declared that the enforce- ment of the provisions of the Bill "must inevitably lead to wide- spread and concentrated resis- Lance on the part of the organised millions of trade unionists," and pledged the conference to continue the campaign against the bill with the utmost vigour.

Mr. George Hicks, Chairman of the General Council of the Trade Union Congress, who presided, opened the debate. He declared movement that the trade union was in the greatest danger. "We desire to act in an open and con- sillutional manner." But we shall fight to the biller end and defeat this mean and vindictive Bill."

It was then announced that notice had been given of an amendment recommending that if the Bill were persisted in a gen- eral strike should be called.

A motion by the Chairman, that

dream my poet's this amendment should be discuss.

I'd punelunte the night with Without you, soft spring mattress. Each night I'm filled with grateful

..thanks

"Tis you I rest on, not on ylanks- (These words aren't empty fat-

teries!)

And when my bones are doomed 16"

In some lugubrious com-e-try,

I would they might reposu on my Old friend, my dear spring mattress,

3.

*

Overheard at the Army and

Navy:

"Colonel Blowhard is very much attached to his wife; isn't he""

ed, was rejected by an overwhelm- ing majority. The original re-l solution was subseqently adopted -British Wireless.

NAVAL ARMAMENT.

HOW TO AVOID WAR.

Washington, April 20. The immediate need for clear, binding contracts among the lead- ing Powers, not to cripple rea- sonable defence but to abolish pro- armament," was em- Vocative phasised by the former Secretary fnf State, Mr. Hughes, the head of the American delegation to the Washington arms conference, ini his presidential address to the American Society of International Law.

He said he hoped the Geneva discussions would continue despite the discouraging results, but he believed the three-Power naval limitation conference would prove entirely practical. The United

"Yes, but only for rations and Stales, Britain and Japan were the

discipline."

long

Another fremendously cable has just reached me from Professor Barmien Crumpett, wherein he tells me that he has had to renounce all intention of

tal system of putting the secret police into those glaringly elabor-i ate uniforms; while I suppose that they will never care themselves of that absurd habit they cult-becoming a fakir and has aban- vate of brandishing their sceret doned his pilgrimate from Bombay to Rajgir. This, you will remem- truncheons in public.

her, he was attempting to accom- Continuing the life story of the plish on all-fours in spite of the world famous Slavonic imposer, derision and interference of the Pijk Sink, which I began last, populace, who apparently had no week, he closed his meteoric career respect either for this ac T piety But this Crumpett at the Paris Conservatoire by or its dour. winning the Grand Prix de la Re-did not heed. What he could met publique entitling him to a week cope with, however, were the un- in Lovely Lucerne at half-price) provoked attacks of wild animals in the country. with a masterly concerto for 25 he encountered

remarkable He has been mauled by a tiger, Kettledrants. This work, when first performed at the gored by a wild boar, bitten by an students' concert, created a most elephant, tossed by a sacred bull, a rhinoceros, and extraordinary sensation, not to any trampled by panic. Fourteen musical critick very nearly ispeted by a crocodile. went clean mad, and bit one an-In the face of such molestations other in the neck. Three of the The found it impossible to proceed. professional staff, ingred as they and he has now returned to Bom- were to the most advanced masic hay covered all over with sticking- of the day, fainted profoundly,plaster and adhesive bandages.

Thwarted in his desire to learn, and only revived after burning

held beneath snake-charming, frustrated in his brandy had been their nostrils. As for the soloist, attempt to boyomen fakir, this he deafened himself for life by unconquerable soul now informs the extreme verve with which he ine that he intends to become a More of this anon. belaboured his drums, and at the mahatma! conclusion of his performance was Meanwhile a second cable has ar- carried from the platform, in the rived marked "Glass-with care," last stage of delirium tremens, asking me to send him out some Pijk Smk left Paris the same more buns for the elephants.„;

ROYAL TOUR.

FAREWELL TO VICTORIA.

London. April 29.

་་

only three great naval Powers, and war with Britain would not only mean the bankruptcy of states- manship, but also the collapse of civilisation, while the thought of war with Japan sprang from a nightmare of suspicion and doubts which could only be banished by sanity of action and an expression

of

the peaceful policies we cherished.

He concluded with the hope that the League of Nations would re- thove the difliculties in the way of the United States' adhesion to the world court-Reuter's Ameriena Service.

EMERGENCY REGULATION.

THE POWER OF SEIZURE.

It is announced in the Govern- ment Gazette that the regulation of Prevention relating to the Disorder, which was published in the Gazette of the 9th April, 1927, as notification No. 202, is rescinded and the following regulation is substituted therefor:

G.It shall be lawful for any police officer to seize any thing! whatsoever which may appear to. belong to, or to be connected with, or to be intended to be used for the purposes of any proscribed organi- zation, and it shall be lawful for

such a magistrate; upon

as he shal) notice (if any) think, to order any such thing 10 be forfeited. Any thing so forfeited shall be disposed of in such manner as the Captain Police may Superintendent of direct.

man behind the Prince. He crest and receptive and, seem ingly, likes to get his information first hand. He is greatly interest- ed in the masses and the work on the lant. He has also proved that The Duke and Duchess of York he has a sense of humour and a left Melbourne to-day for Age-young heart. The information of intense which the Duke and Duchess have laide, amid scenes

gathered regarding Australia will COLONIAL GOVERNORS. enthurinsin

The Premier of Victorin, Mr. endure and they will exert a Allan, has issued the following powerful influence and do any Duke thing they can to the benefit of .striking message:-"The

and Duchess carry with them the our country."-British Wireless." affection and goodwill of the people of Victoria. All the latent

The Japanese beetle, like the. chivalry of Victoria has been European earn borer, is going to awakened by the Duchess and she face la native enemy in a battle has won the hearts of all by her for its life in America. Nine womanly charm, She is a story different species of parasites of book princess come of life. From this insect pest have been taken her Scottish forebears she inherit-to that country to combat it. ed endowments which make her al

year saw the fore- power for good in the Empire. The lust. believe she will be for life the closure of 123,000 farms in the friend of Australia. The favour-United States, reports the Depart able firat impression made by the ment of Agriculture. This was o Duke deepened as the days went the rate of 21 farms for every by and we liked him more as we thousami, most of them in the became better acquainted with the mountain states.

LATEST RE-SHUFFLING.

London, April 29.

Sir Alexander Ransford Slates, Governor and Commander-in-Chief | of Sierra Leone, has been appoint- ed Governor of the Gold Coast, in succession to Brigadier-General Sir Frederick Guggishery, whoce term of office is about to expire.

Brigadier-General Sir Joseph Aloysius Byrne, Governor and Commander-in-Chief of the Sey- ehellen, has been appointed Gov ernor and Commander-in-Chief of Sierra Leone.-British Wireless

SATURDAY, APRIL 30, 1927.

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