1920-12-24 — Page 7

THE. HONGKONG TELEGRAPH.

FRIDAY, DECEMBER 24, 1920-

THE MERCURY GARAGE CO.

GOOD CARS

FOR

PROMPT SERVICE

REASONABLE CHARGES,

CAREFUL DRIVERS.

TELEPHONE: 977.

6 DAYS

6 DAYS

YEE SANG FAT CO.

CHRISTMAS SALE

NOW ON

Everything on Sale

AT

BARGAIN PRICE

only

Sale for 6 Days Close on Friday 24th.

6 DAYS

HAIG'S DISPATCHES.

Foch Writes a Preface.

6 DAYS

Chief who hat male vase the greatest curablestions, and made possible th Rest prolonged

jerstions on a vast sale.

"

FUN THAT COMES FROM BEYOND THE TWEED.

Neil Kenyon's Scotch-and- Laughter.

The Daily News Special Cor- respondent, who is trying to discover how our funny men make us laugh, asks an interesting question: Why is there a short- age of English comedians? In an analysis of Neil Kenyon, he suggesta that the Scots are responsible.

Neil Kenyon has an unfair advantage over other comedians. He is Scottish.

There is no need for him to try tabe funny. He is. So long as A Scotsman has enough r's there is rarely any danger of his being taken seriously in England.

Neil Kenyon has a magnificent supply of t`s. With their assist- ance he can make the nest ordi rary joke irresistible.

"Three trains go through this station every day. The work is terrible." Said by an English| parter. I doubt if that would make' angan lauch. Said by an Irish- man, 12 might have some chance of success. Said by a Scotsman, there is no doubt about it. "The wur-rr-rr-kisterr-rr-ible."(Laugh- ter.) Every comedian should Finsist on being born in Scotland. NO JOKES AGAINST ENGLISH

From the comedian's point of View it a calamity that the | English shoul:) everywhere be taken seriously. We inspire everything except humour. No ake a jike about us Hilux.cometans arefarvet given a Lebance to Art a laugh against We haven't even a themselvis. [ni kname. The Scotsman 18 Jeck," and the Irishman "Fat." The American is a "Yank," and even the team an is" Frim." But the Englishman is always merely an Englishmas. "It means that our comedians have to Work hander for their laughter.

Fone can

Kenyon doesn't have to work at aft He just makes a few temarks. True, they are pointed remark--but the Scots always | are pointed. They can't help in There's no doubt that Kesyon has a very easy time.

As a protest against his unfair advantage in being Scottish, I give these tapical remarks in English:

He says he's saving up for a rainy day, I believe he's saving up for a flood.

When

He's very economical. the give three cheers he wants

The best of a clay pipe is that | if you drop it on the ground you needn't stoop to pick it up.

be not intervene on one back.

My wife and I have only had Marshal Foch has written a

March 21 with his Government, preface to the French translation and on March 26 with the Govern-one quarrel. Of course, now and of Sir Douglas Haig's dispatel es, ments of the Allies at the meeting then it's tuen interrupted. which is about to be published at Doullens, in favour of the.j

French and British Armies being by Messrs. Charles Lavauzelle.

"The relative poverty of the jamme lately placed under a single € ven though his results to the Allies down to lcommani, 1917" says the great French | personal position might suffer?

"Art did he not show himself. soldier, "is entirely explained by i their unpreparedness for the therefore, above all olicitous to tasks of the war. When it began act in perfect accord with the it was fortunate for them that general plan of the Allies deter Germany was under the need of mind upon by the new Supreme facing the Russian Army on Commandy'

Eas: and Was unible

the

BOARSIN SCOTCH. Such remarks-even in English are good enough to cause e

In State they: hearty "smile. cause roars of laughter.

Kenyon has the trick of not wait- ing for the laughter. He always runs quickly past the point. Thus: I asked him Low his wife was He was very standing the heat. indignant. I didn't know he was reader to realise all the causes of a widower. When I said the Allied wictory. It is," he (Loud laughter). concludes, "my duty to truth to

them."

General Foch concludes that to send to the Western front) on this matter gaps occur in the armies sufficiently strong to give dispatches which do not allow the

her victory there.

"When relived of the pressure on the East, by the Russian revolution, she was able to direct Freat masses of troops, 2um, drvis- ions strong, to the fronts in France and Belgium.

There was little to show that the war of attrition, cn which so many hopes had been hung, hat Sought the Allies any nearer to victors.

Marshal Foch goes on to write of the anxiety caused by the German advance on the Somme, the threatened division of the two armies, the enemy's thrust towards Paris, and the danger of the centre of vital communica- tions being cut.

CRISS OF THE CAMPAIGN. In the spring of 1918, despite their losses. 60 British divisions, | says Marshal Foch, were to be kept in a condition to fight on to

WATER RETURN,

Level and Storage of water in Reservoirs on Dem. 1, 1920. CITY AND HILL, DISTRICT WATER

Tram

WORKS LEVEL--

+1

T'am

B

1-2 %

2-2 B

Tranter.

Se ! Beine

2. Below

25 ANI

STORAGE 15 MILLIONS AND DECIMALS OF GALLONS.

רויה

the end of the gear. "Lines of Thism istermanate ....

resistance were to be multipli-Tam Tak

ed

at Amiens, Arras,

Be-

thune, Hazebrouck, St. Omer,"

1337 17

152

20 77

1.125 4

1,3

1

314

1.7230

51 15

Then be has to wait for some time.

NOTICE.

DAIRY FARM NEWS.

FOR THE FESTIVE SEASON.

Farm Fed Turkeys and Geese, Sucking Pigs, Capons, Haggis, Ham, Bacon, Hares, Rabbits, Sausages of all description.

Orders can now be filled ir:-

NOTICE.

ACCEPTABLE XMAS GIFTS

·FOR MEN

SHAW'S

STOCK OF MEN'S WEAR,

Are GIFTS worth the giving. They are noted for their quality and dependability. A huge selection to choose from cómprising :

་་

DEVONSHIRE CREAM STERILIZED MILK -

→

50 cents per phial

DRESSING GOWNS. RUGS, CARDIGANS, SCARVES HANDKERCHIEFS, NECKWEAR, GLOVES, SOCKS, WALKING STICKS, UMBRELLAS, FANCY WAISTCOATS, SILK SCARVES,

WOOL

35 cents per pint

(suitable for carrying on voyages).

PLACE YOUR ORDERS EARLY TO AVOID

DISAPPOINTMENT.

CHRISTMAS 1920

Splendid assortment of acceptable gilts!

WATCHES, JEWELLERY, DIAMONDS,

SILVERWARE, CUTGLASS, ETC.

POPULAR PRICES

Having received goods quite recently, we are gising our patrons the full advantag of the

"downwards" tendency at home.

J. ULLMANN & CO.

34. Queen's Road Central.

ASTHMATIC BECAUSE

ANAEMIC

**IOWE MY CURE TO DE. WILLIAMS' PINK PILLS.

Williams' Pink Pills and recom mend them to any sufferers I End."

Of medicine vendors every- where. Dr. Williams' Piat Pills for Pale people are also obtain-

A number of cases of Asthma.able direct from the Dr. Williams' Co. 96 Szechuen Road, Shanghai, according to the reports of the one bottle for $1.50 31x for $8, sufferers, have been cured by Dr. williams Pink Pills, these post free.

cases the main cause of the trouble has been a generally run down condition of the system. and with the restoration of tone

THE CARE OF THE BABY

is every good mother's frs: con- It has frequently been said that there is a shortage of English to the blood and nerves by Dr.sideration, and often enough she comedians. When you consider Williams' Pink Pills the Asthma is so worried by the little one's aches and ills that she does not the number of Scotsmen south of has disappeared. the Tweed, it is surprising that we Eule M. H. Mortier, a young for is relief.

One such case is that of Miss know which way to turn to find should have ang at all.

lady school-teacher residing at

wonder if Neil Kenyon causes

UNCLAIMED TELEGRAMS

THE GREAT NORTHERN TELE

GRAPH COMPANY LTD The following Unclaimed Tele Krams are lying here :-

Chishing, 46 Bonham Road,hind them. from Peking.

To every mother Baby's Own as much laughter in Aber-tr-deen." Lake Wood," Cinnamon Gar- Tablets, the Canadian children's.

dens, Colombo, Ceylon.

remedy, are a real friend. They "About 8 Fears ago I was a gently regulate the bowels and great sufferer with asthma and stomach, break up colds and was also very anaemic," she said. simple fevers, expel worms, cure I became extremely thin and vomiting and indigestion, and weak, with a constant tired feel-make teething easy. They pro- -ing Up-face-was- pallid--my-Imote calmnatural sleep, good. eyes were sunken in deep dark appetite and regular development, circles and had a nasty pain be- are equally helpful to infants and

children of all ages. "Sa poor was my appetite Baby's Own Tablets are obtain- Kubunkwan. 167 Middle Road. that it was only a pretence for able from chemists, or post free from Tokyo.

me to sit el. The table at all. at 60 cants the vial from the Dr. had a backing cough and a very Williams' Medicine Co. 96 Sze! bad pain in the chest which chuen Road, Shanghai. allowed me to get very little sleep. The asthma caused me TRY THEM TO-NIGHT dithculty in breathing, parti- Once you have used Pinkettes. cularly at night. Night sweats the tiny gentle-as-nature laxa- worried me a great deal and Itives, you will never go back to got into a throughly low-spirited Salts, Oil, or drastic purgative condition.

Mrs. Winton, ifongkong. Hotel from Kobe..

Kwongyuwo, from Shanghai. Sykora Yusen Nikko Maru. 19 at from Yokohama.

and Cassel; preparations were Consumption of water in the City wad also to be made to flood the country, and the ground to be contested foot by foot.

Diaries wings and decimi station during the mosis of N-9

Above all, & powerful move- ment of reserves was assured. It

thus that, was

then ke particularly to the efforts of the British command, more than 200 German divisions were definitely stopped.

115 DAYS OF BATTLE. The writer sets out, under dates, the various stages of the 115 days of battles fought by the British armies-from July 18 to Nov. 11. and continues:

stiva

ut

1700 137 30 205 37. gaitose ptimated popul) 277 200

250 927 Cesumption per 237 73.0 GAL:5

head per day ..... S Constant upala is a disteinte duri07 For of both 1:25 1 1900.

KOWLOON WATERWORKS LEVEL.

owen

1933. 2-3 Befor

1930 2-7

Gravitation

Abara

svet Bow Reseresi...

STORAGE IN MILLIONS AND DECIMALS OF GALLONS.

13:3.

1920.

$23.41

*35* Remeralt. Chacomptron of water th Kondoms in mul Liene and Jemimale of gallons during the month For Now,

13:3 Mpromption 93 5 Koristen BOUT 134,450 !06 200

Систвим реката фоноф

117 13.5 alkar head #v 14€ Ooteramto: Asalın'a sepuęta sửom kont

A. H. HOLLINGSWORTH.

"At no moment in bistory have the British armies attained 3> much in any offensive. It was a complete victory, attained, thanks, above all, to the disinterested the ness, intelligence, loyal and ener getic will of their Commander-in-

ww VISN

star atent quality.

13.89 . lloc

Water Authority.

Tangwaiki, 40 Queens Road, First Floor, from Shanghai.

Yauchong, 46 Connaught Road, Second Floor, from Shanghai.

N. LUND. Act. Superintendent Hongkong, Dec. 23, 1920.

EASTERN EXTENSION AUSTRAL ASTA & CHINA TELEGRAP CO.

Gofuku, from Capetown. Halerope, from Saigon. Holloway, from Belfast. Leitsal, from Bradford. Lerrigo, YMCA, from Manila. Manekshaw, Blimoria. from Nagpur.

Mary. 37 Ewo Street, from

Manila.

Maxoton, from Manchester. Sphinx, from Manchester. M. E. F. AIREY,

Superintendent, Hongkong, Dec. 24, 1920.

"After trying various medi- cines without good result I gave Dr. Williams' Pink Pills & trial

pills.

THAUS WASA

PINKETTES

of

on the advice of my father. These dispel constipation and thus cure brought about a wonderful im- bilionsness, liver," sick head- provement. My appetite begenaches, coated tongus, foul smelling to pick up and I could again breath; they clear the skin. enjoy my meals. My spirits rose chemists, or post free at 60 cents and I regained lost flesh and the vial, from Dr. Williams' colour. And as I continued with Medicine Co... 96 Szechuan Road, the treatment the asthma which Shanghai. had troubled me for three years disappeared altogether. I lost my

The Banque Industrielle del troublesome cough, the pain left Chine beg to inform the holders of my chest, my breathing became the temporary bonds of the Credit: regular, the night sweats ceased, National 1919, which, have been and I was able once more to subscribed through them, that enjoy a good night's sleep, awak-ssue must be exchanged in their ing in the morning rested and Paris Office for definite bonds refreshed. I owe my cure to Dr. before March 1921.

J. T. SHAW

SPECIALIST IN MEN'S WEAR

DOOR HONGKONG HOTEL.

NEXT

TEL.

692

Powell

Wm

TELEPHONE 346

SPECIALISTS IN GENTLEMEN'S

Ltd

EVENING DRESS WEAR.

COLLARS IN THE LATEST SHAPES.

SHIRTS, SOCKS, TIES, PUMPS

BRACES, GLOVES, etc.

INSPECTION INVITED.

JUST UNPACKED

NEW MODELS OF

COLLARD & COLLARD'S PIANOS

UNSURPASSED FOR TONE, TOUCH AND ARTISTIC CASE DESIGN.

SPECIALLY MANUFACTURED

CLIMATE.

FOR THE

THE ANDERSON MUSIC CO., LTD.

16, Den Tour Road,

GINS.

Caldbeck's Old Tom and Dry

יז

Telephone 1393,

Jas. Coutts & Co., Old Tom and Dry Boord & Son Old Tom and Dry Booth's No. I Old Tom Plymouth (Coates & Co.) Bols Dry Gin (London Style)

CALDBECK, MACGREGOR & CO., LTD.

15, Queen's Road Central.

(Tulephone No. 78.)

WHEN YOU THINK OF

BETTER SOUP & PUDDINGS".

THINK OF

THE HING WAH PASTE MFC. CO. LTD. (No. 47-48 Connaught Road Central, Hongkong) MANUFACTURERS

OF

MACARONI, VERMICELLI,

STAR-

PASTE EGG NOODLES &c.

RING UP-d330.