1913-12-20 — Page 3

THE HONGKONG TELEGRAPH.

SHORT STORY.

THE

HONEYMOON

BY WALLAGE IRWIN,

"Maple Honey-Kid! Brian's a great big town full o' things Bon Blaney leaney lesued from a young man can slip up on and Pullman sont 25 and thus address fall over. I hope you won't think ed himself to the sombre orbs of me impe tinent, but I want to light becomingly set in the give you a word of advice-don't features of the very new. Mrs. be a hick." Blaney, that lady being comfort- ably oushioned in Pallmon seat 27.

31

EXTRA

HONGKONG, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 20, 1913,

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brated pitfalle. With regards to I wonder why he picked me out?" line o' goods, I'd never come that Bruno's got population. Look! | "Score three!" warbled Brien. your dad,

He looked reflectively at his toes, con on you, But, since you there's a fire-engine tryin' to best keeping imaginary tab on his cuff. and remembered the warning mention St. Jo I'll put you wise a rubber-neck wagon, and a isme He led Betsy rather hastily to Sincerely,

words of O'Malley."Gawah! to something. The Middle West borse has just sat down in front ward the foyer. It was getting Obrey O'Malley.

I wonder if he saw my buttoned circuit's worked dry. I had to of a milk-wagen and tied up all on toward too o'o.cek, and round tans!"

borrow from the constable to get the rapid transit from here to the the corner, glaring amid the Now you must present this The further they rushed East out of Emporia, and in Keokuk Bronx. Careless Dobbin!

internal glories of jumping letter as soon as we get to New ward, the more earnestly Brian was blackmailed poor by a Ruba After lunch, Brain complained gigantio electric images, stood the York," said Botry, in a slightly hated his shoes as a recognized tried the badger game on." of his now shoes pinching; but Cabaret de l'Obsterre, home of abashed tone.

| badge of Hickdom. He did not "So you're advanoin' on Now be bravely kept his footing within tangoes where Baal feeds fat, Brian turned the envelope criti-look up Mr. McCoah in Car 3, York."

their resisting soles, and planged where the heathen rage, and. ally in his hand, reading the ad- but that thoughtful gentleman "That's the stoff! The only still further into the gulf of oon where the Turk trotteth till the dress at every conceivable angle. made occasion to sit down next town in America where you can voutionality by changing to a suit dawn.

"Mr. Dyokman Wynkoop 13 to Brian.in the buffet when the catch the bick off his nest with of quiet gray and an inoffensive Most of the tables were already Washington Square," he read latter was enjoying a solitary the golden eggs exposed. I got necktie.

taken when they entered. Young aloud; then added: "That ain't gigarette. They were approach-s cousin doin' well there to the "Going far?" inquired Betsy Mrs. Blaney was not too young to

name: it's a label on an importing Chicago at the time, and old glass-ring game."

sleepily from her couch.

note the two types of women: ed cheese.

MeCosh eat paring his broad Yes, but look at the competi-To 13 Washington Square," those who had come and those Just the samo, Brian was im-Goger-nails with a pearl-handledtion!" Brian objected."There's he said. pressed, and was discovered gaz knife.

Im going to present who had been brought the for three bunke there to every bick O'Malley's letter to Dyckman er characterized by elaborate ing disgustedly at his buttoned **Try one of my perfectos," he And what's your home-mado Wynkoop to see if he's chesse or complexions inside infantile hats, "What's a hick?" asked Betay-tan shoes at intervals during the said suddenly, offering an osten- mining swindle against the kind human. What to come along?" their lips were bold, their eyes "A hick's a dressed-up Rabe trip.

tations roll of tinfoil.

of graft they make by machinery?"

were cold. The band uttored a No, you little old big foolish; musical compound of treacle and out hanting for a shell game,” he They were amid the horrific "Thanks; I never smoke," Well, I'm gettin' old," sighed I'm not being introduced. Teup dynamite; a negro nobleman en- Sagar-boy dear responded defined it. I've lived in N grandeurs of the Royal Gorge, responded Brion, taking a fresh the swindler, "But a fresh pose we're going somewhere to dowed with India-rubber joints the previously matter-of-fact York for forty years.' O'Malley battling ground of Tit (accord- oigarette from his box.

train-load o' straw arrives at the night-" Beter. Then, with a momentity went on, and I know it framing to prospectus), when an ima Say, you're a cagey kid, all New York Central every fifteen

rolled his eyes swimmingly and lapee into sanity, she whispered: Wall Street to Waldorf. Take it pertinent intrusion appeared in right, laughed the big one, minutes. This is my last stand goin somewhere. As soon as the ecstatic. "Buzz around-Buzz "Bet your fairy goloshes we're amote his palms together to an Binn, the whole car's looking from me, it's up to the stranger the pars on of G. Hraiter McGost changing from the grandiloquent may be I won't have to keep Scotch whisky ads begin to light around!" until's young mulatto at us!!

coming fresh from the clover to Sight-seeing passe to were:asto the vernacular. His eyes bar in my old age." Responsivo in

the warning sing low, lususe every inhabit-sembled in the obrvation-oar, slanted and his weather-beaten "If you ain't skinned poor be we'll beat it for one o'these toy threw herself at him in an up along the Great Tight Way, woman, lithe as a spider monkey, Brisu made a sudden to weinent, ant of. Methation Island has got huddled around es ab window, to mouth came down at one corner. fore you've been in New York dansong restaurants where they sorobatio tango which included and several handfuls of rice elat the art financial transgressions let no marvel pass. Roaring What's your line?"

week, come around to me and I'll teach the Harry Thaw glide free touching her wool to the carpet tered to the for from various down to a poisoned pollet. The through charme measureless to I'm a fly-patcher."

buy some of your goods," said with every thousand dollar's in miraculous backward loops. parts of bis oloring,

"Haw-haw! You're a smart Brian kindly, but with deep fore worth of champagne. To-night's graft, industry is overcrowded

browtatou by infornal man, Darn that god-speed stuff!" there, and N York would natural-orags, the soft cost smoke of the kid, anyhow. Now, look here boding; for he was still mindful the big, wide evening!"

"Let's twirl!" came Brian's hé grumbled.

The more fately starve if it wasn't for the man D. & R. G. locomotive added that As an enterprisin' young businese of O'Malley's tale of what greedy

enthusiastic voice in Betay's GST, of rice the

Brian fixed his bat at a dor- for the band had now struck up I hate from home who comes piking Stygian such so well portrayed man from the West, launchin' out Gotham does to the naive outsider. Japanese."

down Broadway with his check by the late Mr. Dante. Some on life's voyage with a fair young It is the conventional thing for gerous hugle in the midst of a "We'll row, row, and many He removed his hat and shook book in bis hand and a sprig of passengers were regarding the helpmeet, and awaitin' alert and the newcomer in New York to dance figure which ended in an couples took the floor, every Jack therefrom a miniature hailstorm timothy over his ear. Lifelong Devil's Needle and saying" Ah!" joyous to hear the welcome knock pause Aladdin-like, mind whir ardent embrace of his girlish to his Jill, every Bacchus to his The entire car tittered there was practice at the art of buak hae Yet olbera were looking at the of Opportunity at your doorling, eyes blinking at the magir bride.

Bacchante. By way of di an excursion of rather young made the N' Yorkers so darned far-piled Ogre's Dungeon and re- Opportunity, the goddess who works of these djinns who have "Don't let any bucco man see vertissement, a Princeton gladia Boston schoolm'ame returning canny, they can steal your clothes, marking "Oh!" Bat Brian and knocks but once you are unspoil- hewitched mankind. Shall be you while you're in the nood," tor had arisen from a tableful of from San Bruno, Brian blushed ship you home in a borrowed Betey were looking into each ed, you are smbitious, too smart to the roots of his auburn hair. nightis, and make you think other's eyes, and the latter was to let the golden moment pass then his cheeks wrinkled to a you've bad a good time. So take exclaiming," You dear old red-headed. Ever thought of in broad grin. His was one of those an old man's tip. When you headed proposition--"

vertin' in mining stocks?" nataree to whom publicity in any come in sight of the dintue of

"Just look at that!" said a "Show me," said Brian in a form can never be quite distaste- Liberty, step light, sing low, and, resonant voice at their shoulders. level tone.

for Gawah sake, don't let 'em

Just look at that!"

As you see by my card," he know you're a bick!"

ful..

aboos

14

worse

4

J.

college boys, and was inviting the head waiter to put him out.

"Let's go "pleaded Betsy, seiz ing Brian's arm.

1

Brisa

fly first 10 the Metropolitan Bho cautioned, "Remember,

fuseum, or shall it be the Metro-you're a hick in a great city." politan Tower? Shall he clim About six o'clock he come the Statue of Liberty or descend whistling back, his face afire into the Subway? But Brian with enthusiaan,

"Stick around, kid, Boru Blaney, his feet set ou

"Did you find him?" asked Manhattan, was tortured by Betsy, who was waiting, with the urged. "We needn't be afraid of this dansong stuff. All New A large, fiorid elderly gentle-extended a square of pasteboard, such doubts. He called a

patience of an experienced wife, York's doin' it. Maybe we'd better go to Ni- man with eyeglass and a tooth--"I am General Director of the at the Grand Central Station, to be hooked up in the back. agara Falls, after all!"

"I bet half the men here are Batey brush mustache spread over the Goodfellow and Surprise Gold and, after tucking bis baggage

"Who? Dyckie Obiokencoop? travelling salesmen from Dulath. faltered.

bridal couple a prominent plaid Leda Company, Incorporated." and his Betay safely inside, called Nope. Say, Dyckie lives in a Don't be a hick!" This was "I says to O'Malley, Brisu sait in s pattern reminiscent of Phew! Is it as bad as that?" commandingly to the chauffeur: boy's-size brick palace with Betey'e quelling word.

}} "Hare your joke! growled Beat it for the first shoe stor. white door, and a brass knooker. Mr. McCoah "But the old mast on Fifth Avenus.",

"Speaking of hicks," whisper. When I banged the knob, out be patient with the young I want

3.5

went on, Uncle Obe, what can I do to or nceal my bickory origin? "I'll give you a few Don't for Hicke, says O'Malley, 'Don't

That was thougbila of Dim Betsy intimated.

"You may

*

"

*

Saw the Woolworth Building,

in!?!

"The Rube I saw give his deat

to a lady in the subway. He'e hopeless! For, oven at the word, the newcomer-who wore buttoned tan shoes-was ordering a Manhattan cocktail,

"He must be the King of the Hickories, "marmured Brian, becoming more and more con- cerned. "Ain't it pitiful!" The object of Brian's commiser

13

"He's got every one of O'Mal ley's 'How to Tell a Hick' marke except he don't shave his neck. Probably ho's waitin' for the bar- ber shop to open in the morning." "He's rather nice-looking,"

"Enjoy yourselves, girls!" he emiled, bowing to his appreciative audience. On the lapel of his coat bung a bright blue,button nearly as large as a saucer and. labelled: Boust For San

the costume worn by George IV Bruno." This token, as well as

while shooting grouse on the an enormone tap-shapert at

flighland estate of the Mackintosh

Betsy's head was out of th shoots a Woodrow Wilson effected her husband, nadging her emb'em which reposed between

uf Mackintosh. Ho fairly orond to talk to you like an uncle. 1 window many times. She all buio butlers. Not to hum!" he sharply, "look what's just come their chairs, bearing the wort smoke a cigar with a band one between them and pointed out want to pat you on the ground plunged herself headlong several says. When I called him Obar- "Who is he?"

Boost" in white carantions, was Don't get up in street cars and of the window. "Bebald gou floor in this unparalleled pro-ans in passing window display,ley, be snatched my card away the gift of the Sun Brano Boosters for a lady yulie Bout. Don't masterpiece of nature's antio,pri, position, a chance we only offer feminius attire, and as they from ane and slammed the door Club, which organization had the barler shave the back of your appalling cataclysm of a planet's our particular friends. I like whirled by the emporium of 80 quick he most pinched off my accompanied them to the station neck. Don't taik' politios with dawn ne'er linned by any human your face."

famous milliner, she cried, with nose." with enthusiasm, brass baud, strongere. Don't wear tan shoes paint-brush. sir! There they Mr. McCosh's fat fogera deftly almost a gob in her voice: "Brian," Sagar Boy, he probably saw and the city's surplus of "over with buttons on 'em (Furtively stand, sir, Rocks! Craggy rocks! unfolded a bale of handsomely you've just got to stop hara!" you were a

Betsy noted that her husband's Fit for some race of demi-gods-" printed papers engraved in rich But her subarnbaired lord had "Hick? Yes. But how did he Brian's ralute to the assembler-bres were of the kind described.; Jaggy rocke fit for some race orange, the coat of Nevada at the his eyes set ateraly to the foreknow? So I hired an open taxi schoolm'ame was well received "Don't drink lanhattan cock- of demijohns-I ghs,' said head, an intricate, wavy border they drew up before a plate-gland sailed forth to discover N' by all save 13 ty, who sat for tails. Don't be ashamed to walk Brian appreciatively.

down the margins. He laid u window with masculine footwear York." several mirues with her eyes over people's knees in the theatre.

Bing, young compelling palm on Brion's knee, discre stly diep ayed.

"What did you see?” averted toward the whirling Don'tat ind en windy corners to

man, continued the eloquent "In six-mouths from now they'll "Nope!" he sunconced to the landscape...

watch the ohuri go by. And | stranger. "of the she said at last, "I don't end the head waiter by of the boundless deep or the dollar-twen-y-five per cent!"

terrors pay you twenty-five cents on the smiling clerk, "I don't want any a Jew cop arrestin a drunken ation called to him the head : Sugar,

waiter, and, in the presence of the Armenian, the Brooklyn Bridge, whole room, handed him a five- thing similar, to what I *Bo* wish you'd take that thingying to tip him in public. The wonders of the tropic night-but Innest," said Brian, carefully on. Gimme something like Vince a fight, & Wall Street panic, the dollar bill. Then he lit a oigar, pointing to the roster Boronare a few forzh rules which may look at those rocks. By ginger, fulding the stocks and handing Autor kicke arounds in."

Pennsylvania Station, and Willie and kept the band on. and put it in your pocket. And keep you a waile out of the Order ain't they great?"

them hack, you're the courses They sold him a pair with Collier tryin' to light a oigar on I wish you'd give that "judicat of Straw along the Great White

la the real-estate business ?" Wallingford make-up I've struck tapering toes, flat sales, and a windy corner.” ing-the-floral-emblem to the Graft, says Uncle Obe.

inquired Brian affably.

yor."

unostentatious eyeluts. They cost Anything else?". porter. It reminds me of a

Well, no not exactly."

How's that? spluttered the tim eight dollars.

"I saw a hick Right before Elke' funeral..".

"I thought by the way you big our.

***Score one!" said Briso, mak- my eyes. Y see, I dropped my "Now, Candy-bag "protest. "Y-yes," agreed Brian grudg-went at ua," continued the Little Excuse me, while I take a ing a mark on hie ouff as he paid taxi at Fourteenth Street, and ed Brion, in a hurt tone," we ingly. "But it makes me kind Booster, that you were trying good look at you. I thought they the bill. He wore the shoes out docked into the subway just to ain't asbamed of the home town, o' sore. What brand o lobsters to sell us the Rocky Mountains had all the old-style con men of the shop. "Now that I got get a taste of that celebrated said Betsy, "and he wears a good

do those N' York dudes eat on the easy-ayment plan."

Bait of clothes." stuffed and under glass by this rid of those hink kicks, I guess canned air. And what d' you**** Whiskers! There ought to agreed that makes 'em BG all-fired

"Ab, youth!" rhapsodized the time. And to think of one of you we'll be safe to walk along Fifth think I saw, the first thing PA be a Society for the Protection of Beteyermly. And that's why brighter 'n the rest o' the county? big one. Youth will have its whiskered dedoe tryin to pan Avenue, paying the taxes here Rabe got up and gave his seat Him. I've a good mind to give I think it's up to us not to make Can't an Indian from another quip at the wisdom of age. handle meme with a line o and there."

to a lady. I was sitting com that lone yokel a tip-before he the home town ridiculous. reservation blow in with his war-Youth and love. I see you're a minin' stock fluff that was passed As a famous milliner's Betsy fortably on somebody's mother

"Porter!" said Brian, with one paint and not-

bridal couple. I hope, madam," up by Adam and Eve. Say, old chose a hot with very little on it, at the time, and I wanted to lend falls in the bande of hand beckoning the menial and They're naturally lots more turning a ravishing smile upon man, I'm sorry for you. You but that well disposed. The bill that biok aside and say, Not familiar face. The head waiter the other pointing out the floral experienced than we are living as Botey," that you can spare your make me want to ory. Your was sixty-five dollars,

done, old chap-not in New emblem." Bear BWAY the they do in the midst of things," husband a moment" Turning to childish stab at dishonesty is "Score

two!"

announced York'; but I let him go his saivi-Pulled out a chair, next the un tribute!!!

she suggested.

Brian with a suspiciously glib sadder'n Uncle Tom's Cabin Brian, making another mark on day way. Wallingford'll get him protested tray. And the person He slipped the booster button D. O'Malley gave me this motion of the thumb and fore- and twice as stale Say, what his cuff.

before morning."

who occupied the seat, presenting quietly into his pocket.

"Brian letter of introduction. ' i

fingre. "Play cards, air?" jay town are you going to work.. "What on earth are you doing,

Betsy stood before the mirror a cordial palm to the helpless You old dandy thing!" Thus fished a large envelop from bis Not with you," announced with that line 'ocounty-fair bilk?" Sugar?" asked his wife. and pointed suggestively at the hisk, was none other than G. she rewarded him. He sat inner pocket. Said it was to a Brian, looking the other coolly "New York," said Mr McCoshi, Keepin' tab on New York, unhooked void in the back of her Hunter Moosh, the superannu awhile in unnatural silence. real N Yorker a fells belonging between the eyes.

ated banco man of the D. & R. G. with simple dignity,"

We've been here. half an hour, gown.

McCosh's broad book was $0 Fanny

he said, at last to a Knickerbocker family so old "I trust I'm not making a "What!" The word came and she's got us seventy-three

"Sweetie Maple !" sighed the “Those are the very words Obrey it considers the Vanderbilts val- nuisance of myself. ———” like a pistol-shot. "With that? bucks already."

Little Booster, settling down toward Brian, therefore he could not O'Malley said to me this gar trades-people; said that if I

"Not yet," replied Brian, turn- Why, Uncle Rufus, you've got no They took a room at the St. a desperate struggle with with see his neighbors, although close morning."

ever got skinned in any sort of a ing for the first time in the more show in New York with Sidon Hotel, a fabulous pile over the intrioscies thereof," the dress enough to be easily overheard. What words?

bilk Icould go round to this keen direction of the scenery.. that prabistoric swindle than a looking Broadway's busiest maker that built this dream Brian quickly forgot the charma Don't make the home town young guy and he'd pull me out. "My name is McCosh-G. glass bead on Fifth Avenue. corner.

must's bad an awful lot o' time!" of tango in the study of bunco ridiculous. Y know, when the Nice of him, wasn't it?" Hunter McCoab," said the florid Honest, they teach better grafts "I'm tired already," said Betsy. The days of his bondage had as the elderly rascal laid his fat palm caressingly over the hand Boosters took us to the train, O. "It certainly was," agreed person, still smiling. Any than that in the New York public throwing herself on a gilded began. W. Ketcham pullin' my arm loose Betsy. She opened the flap of time you want to look me up, schools Why don't you stick to chaise-longue.

They dined beneath golden of the younger man, who was at the socket while kittenish Sid the envelope and read :

I'm in Car 3." He atrods jauntily Bt. Jo, uncle, where the grass is When I look at a dump like cornices, beside resente tapestries, neat and rather small, with cyster Eidlitz poured eighteen conte Dear Dyckman:

long and the grazing good?" this," remarked the Little Booster, eating from precious plate and coloured eyes and a sallow worth of rice, down my collar ?: This is to introduce Mr. Brian "Oh, Sugar Boy, how rude of The face of the honest Mr "I feel like the King o' Persia draining goblets of

brilliant moustache,

"No, my boy; you can't afford Well, old Obrey O'Malley let me Born Blaney, who has come, for you! Betsy chided, es eoon as McDosh suddenly settled into afraid to sit down for fear some crystal. aside for a minute. Uncle Obe's the first time, to see the town, the other man had gone. A tragic lines.

free gold leaf 'll stick to my Don's make any quick to miss this," began. McCoah, in got more sense in his upper right. You'll be deing a favour to your "Take it from me, Balay said If I'd 'a' known you was one pante." He walked over to the moves," Brian cautioned his wife, the tone of thick gravy. band eye-lash than Ketchum can' father's old chum if you take my Brian, in rather a depressed tons, of us," he began sadly. He made window and looked down on the "bopause overy time you do it an old man's advice and The hire in his whole office force, young friend under your wing that old gay's phoney. I don't the sign of Three Walnute restless human stream flowing staris a waiter this way, and that rest was lost in the musical

Brian, says Obrey, you're going now and then and steer him clear know what he's got to sell, but between his thunb and fingers. I below. I bet N York'o get more costs you five dollars extra. to see N' York for the first time. of eny of your city's justly' celé. I bet he makes it in a dark moor. "If I'd known you was in our ticket apeculators than a The bill was nineteen dollara.

are we ?!

"You at we aren't!"

•

away.

Down the aside came a florid

mcket.

(Continued on Para 8.).