Directory_and_Chronicle_1850 — Page 84

1350.

Letter from B. J. Bettelheim.

61

the nation, and show they have as much power over us as over the peasant, and that there is none who bemoaneth or hath pity upon us. But they have forgotten that I am a missionary, a soldier that beareth hardship, and to whom life is not more dear than the end for which it is to be endured. I have set my face like a flint against their assaults; I know they shall not prevail against me, for the Lord is with me to save me, and keep me. I fear nothing but myself. A single moment of forgetfulness, the least act of rashness, might cut the thread on which our lives hang, but it is my prayer and hope that the Lord will perfect me in humility and self-abasement, so that nothing shall be able to offend me that does not offend him, and then I may safely leave the requital of my wrongs to him.

Among other measures contrived to make my visits disagreeable to myself as well as my hosts, one was that the latter were to plead deafness and dumbness, and as soon as I came in sight, they were to motion with the hand, by pointing to their mouth and ears, and shak- ing the head in the negative. It would be amusing, but out of place here, to tell you how I surprised some of these mimic fools into a sud- den cure, but this device shows you that no method is left untried to prevent the introduction of the gospel, especially into houses of the better sort. Still here and there I have found, and to my surprise, still find at least an ear to hear; and the rest I leave cheerfully with Him, who promised that his word shall accomplish that which he pleases, and

prosper in the thing whereto he sends it. I greatly long and pray for a companion in these rare trials, for though I fear not the reproach of man, nor am afraid of their revilings, I am afraid of their lying falsehoods, and it is but common prudence to wish for a witness, where both parties are full of distrust, and a breach is impending every moment.

The kung-kwán, or public office at Napa, is a building which serves for public business and for a school; I visited it regularly for eighteen months, meeting there from five to thirty, and even as many as fifty per- sons, when I happened to surprise them at official meetings. Some- times, if the leaders were inimically disposed, a hint from them suffic- ed, and the whole congregation jumped out of the windows, or over the wall into the neighboring houses. But usually I have been and am still pretty well received, only that at present I can not get out one single answer from them to my questions. In this office, for several months I had a few books hung upon a nail, which I always found on the spot on my arrival; in a similar way, I held some maps there stuck up on the wall. Gradually all this was discontinued, as none