Directory_and_Chronicle_1850 — Page 41

18

Letter from B. J. Bettelheim.

JAN.

scarcely be accounted for, how it comes that such a well devised and almost romantic enterprise should fail to rally round itself a host of friends.

I must here premise, that as I foresee the summary of our doings and sufferings for three years and a half in a station like this, will swell to a size beyond a common letter, I must beg your patience and forgiveness the more so as I can give it no other time than at evening, so that the combined effects of my nearsightedness, a glimme..ng lamplight, and the indistinctness of a manifold-writer,will no doubt be discoverable on every page. I know also that my present state of mind is in no respect bright, perhaps not even right; and it is quite natural this likewise will be traceable on these sheets. However, as I write to a missionary brother, and from no other than pure motives, I will not be discouraged, nor do I fear to sail in my object if I should some- times happen to speak of my own griefs instead of giving you a report on the mission; the spirit may be willing to keep close to the point, but the flesh is weak, and out of the abundance of the heart the mouth will speak, notwithstanding all the efforts of prudence to make a secret of our troubles. It is a mercy, when amid all our hardships, certainly much beyond current missionary difficulties, we have grace given us not to murmur or repine; a Divine favor for which I feel doubly thank- ful, as mental dissatisfaction and a wayward heart would add poig- nancy to every ingredient in the bitter cup we have here daily present- ed to our lips. But "not to murmur" does not mean to impose a hypo- critical dumbness on one's feelings. Besides, I know not whether the complaints of a missionary are not as much a part of his report, as the details of his encouragements. Shadows belong to a picture as essen- tially as the bright dashes of the pencil; and evening and morning made the first, and still continue to make every, day.

Having thus prepared you for the “weep and smile rhetoric," in which I beg you to allow me to tell you my tale, I shall begin with our

Landing in Lewchew, which was effected on the 2d of May, 1846. We had come to anchor the day before. I am thankful to record, I was then, as I had been during the voyage from Hongkong, much in pray- er; I had taken with me this preparation of mind from under the roofs of my dear brethren in Canton. The fortnight I spent in your house just before my departure, the edification I received from converse with Drs. Bridgman, Devan, and Ball, the praying duo in which we took leave of each other: do you not remember it? The devotional evening speut at the Stantons, just before our embarkation kept my heart in holy tune, all along our twenty days' passage, and raised me above the trials