1930-07-14 — Page 3

HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.“

"What's an optimist, Dad " "A man who buys grass seed and

a lawn mower at the same time."

J

First Fisherman: The new fish- hook you invented looks very good, but does it catch fish?"

Second Ditto: "I'm glad you asked me that question-it's a point

"How's your car running?" "Not so good. Ivaw'r keep-it-welt-taken- throttled down."

"How's your wife?" "She's about the same."

An English tourist went into an Aberdeen hotel one hot day and usked for a drink with a kick in it. They brought him a glass of water will a dy awimmng on top..

Mrs. Newlyrich 'I want a—ter~ restrial globe for my little boy."

Shopman: "Yes, madam. What size do you want it?"

Mrs. Newlyrich: "Oh, the ca. tural size."

."

Teacher: "Now, Ruth, suppose your mother, and you, and the 1 baby should go out to the park some afternoon, how many would that be?"

Ruth I would be two, and one to carry!!!

Thank you for the presents, Auntie."

"Oh, they were nothing to thank me for."

"Norah," said the Bostonian mo ther to the governess, little Re- ginald seems disturbed about some thing. Have you been telling him stories about hobgoblins?"

"No, madam, I just told him I' couldn't understand a word of Greck."

An army officer was showing his fair guests about the camp when a bugle sounded. "What's that for 1" the fair one inquired.

That's tattoo," the officer ex. plained.

"Oh. I understand," she remark ed. "I've often seen it on soldiers" arms, but I didn't know they had a special time for doing it.'

After she had admitted the sim- ple-looking young man each day for a week, the maid went indignantly to her mistress."

"I'm going to leave, ana'am." she began.

"Why, Mary I can see no reas

"It just "this, ma'am. I can't" bear that young man who calls on

Miss Ethel.'

"That's what I thought, but Moson-" ther told me to thank you all the same,"

Gentleman: "What would you do with a nickel if I gave you one?" Hobo (sarcastically): Get a new suit mister, an' some supper, an' night's lodging, an' some break- fast an' dinner to-morrow."

Gentleman: "My good fellow, here's a quarter. Go and support yourself for the rest of your life."

They were visiting friends one evening. Presently their 3-year-old son became restless. The hostess, noticing this gave him a soft rub ber ball to play with.

During the course of his play the ball rolled under the davenport, and the little fellow crawled in after it. Presently the hostess ask ed him if he saw the ball. He re- nlied: "No! I don't see anything but dirt."

"But he doesn't call to see you! Want do you complain of?"

"Wall, ma'am, the neighbours might think he does!"

A woman who had made a number of unsuccessful attempts to market a scenario she had written conceived the idea of changing her name and submitting it an unrejected manuscript to one of the producers. Five times, each time under a dif ferent name, it was returned with the same stereotyped, polite note. ¦ Undismayed, she sent out again and was delighted to get a reply savng that the play could be used.

Her happiness suddenly vanished, however, when she read this post- script: "If you will let us tear the pages to pieces for a scene, we will be glad to use it."

CENTRAL THEATRE

Paramounts Sound (

snow

TO-DAY to WEDNESDAY At 2,15, 5.10, 7.15 and 9.20 P.M.“

'IS HE,

as Motion Picture News says:

THE

CHARLIE

CHAPLIN OF THE TALKING

SCREEN?"

See and Hear

the new hit

comedian

Jimmy Durantee

and athér stars

in

ROADHOUSE

You'll laugh'apesari.

Lopaly! Enjoy yourself

Immensely! And all

the time you're non-

NIGHTSTM

with

wow of a gris menace HELEN MORGAN

Fuel to the

fucking beldad the fun, CHARLES RUGGLES FRED KOHLER and CLAYTON, JACKSON and DURANTE

a

Paramount Picture

"COLLEGE CHUMS

2 Reel Comedy

ALSO

“GOODBYE MY LADY LOVE” Cartoon Sound Comedy,

PINDING, HIS VOICE By Western Electric Co.

BOOKING AT ANDERSON'S AND THE THEATRE,

(TELEPHONE 25720).

HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, JULY 14, 1930.

“SNAPSHOTS OF A MAN AND A MEMORANDUM PAD

By GLUYAS WILLIAMS (Copyright, 1930, by Tha Beil Syndicate, Inc.)}

GLANCES AT MEMORANDUM PAD. SEES THERE'S A NOTE ABOUT A CONFERENCE

"CANT REMEMBER WHETHER THIS IS THE 14TH OR 15TH. OFFICE BOY-INFORMS HIM IT'S THE 16H

FINDS MEMO FOR TODAY THAT HE'S TO HAVE LUNCHEON WITH A MR. SOMEBODY WHOS NAME HE CAN'T MAKE OUT

GIRL'S PLEA FOR

LOVER.

"HE WENT TO GAOL FOR

MY THEFT.”".

"I beg you to allow me to speak." This request, by a young woman of good appearance, to Mr. Basil Watson, the North London magis- trate, led to two dramatic situa- tions in court last month.

The first was when she told how

her lover in the dock had been sent

to gaol as a result of her " theft;" and the second when the magistrate; remarking, think this men

should have a chance, and also the woman, for coming forward as she has done," the man collapsed in a faint and was carried out of court.

William Edward Whitton, aged 38, a club steward, of Devonshire road, Lambeth, was accused of stealing £50 from Highgate United" Services Club.

He pleaded guilty to stealing £24 10., and his plea was accepted.

Detective Tarr said that Whitton WAR convicted at Hastings in September 1020, and sentenced to three months' hard "labour.

That was his first conviction. He had excellent references before that conviction, and had beeg-in con“, stant employment since until this. affair happened.

He spoke several languages, and had just obtained a post as courier to a tourist agency and should have

left with a Continental party that day:

. When arresed he said he had hopes of carning sufficient money to repay the club whose money he had taken when he was in a hole. Whitton: My conviction at Hasti ings was a mistake. I was not guilty.

It was then that the womannade her dramatic appeal.

"I had been living with Whit ton," she said. "He befriended me knowing that I had seven convic tions against me. It was while we were living at Hastings that I stole the bracelet and pawned it myself. The police said they wanted him. and he was arrested and sentenced. "I was working with him at the club when the proscat affair hap pened."

The police said there was no rea-' .201 to disbelieve this statement. | Whitton hud-anlendid references

Mr. C. Reeves, secretary of the club, said there was no "desire press the charge.

Whitton was bound over in £10 to come up for juldgment if called upon within 12 months.

HASN'T THE TAINTEST RE-- COLLECTION OF ANY CONFER ENCE FOR TODAY. RACKS BRAIN

TEARS OFF PAGES TO THE 16TH. FINDS REMINDER ON THE 13TH TO-CALL UP MAIN 6606-

SPENDS HALF AN HOUR

TRYING IN VAIN. TO DECIPHER NAME

TO-DAY'S WIRELESS

PROGRAMME.

REALIZES SUDDENLY THAT THAT WAS-FOR THE 12TH. HE'S TOR- GOTTEN TO TEAR OFF THE

DAYS SINCE

WONDERS WHAT THAT CALL. WAS ABOUT AND WHETHER

IT'S TOO LATE NOW .

WILLIAM FOX presents.

GIRLfrom

|ALL TALKING FOX

MOVIETONE directed by BENJAMIN

·STOLOFF.

HAVANA

with EOŁA LANE

PAUL PAGE

KENNETH

THOMSON NÄTAUE MOORHEAD

masquerading girl detective out wits a band of. international jewel thieves and appre- hends a murderer.

MUSICAL

OUR GANG COMEDY THE REVELLERS

QUEEN'S

AT THE

WIFE CALLS UP. ASSURES HER HE "CANT POSSIBLY FORGET, HER ER- RAND, HE'S MAKING A NOTE OF

IT ON HIS MEMORANDUM PAD

5-16

BROADCAST BY Z.B.W. ON 355 METRES.

11 to 11.30 .m.-Commercial News. | 11,30 a.m. to 12.30 p.m. Chinese

programme.

THE SILVER SCREEN.

IN SUNNY HAVANA.

Rarely do we get a chance, to see such a pictorially interesting film "The Girl From Havana," now showing at the Queen's Theatre.

12.30 to 9 pm-European pro. The story covers a most picturesque gramme of Columbia records held, from Los Angeles through the selected and supplied by Panama Canal to Havana, and Messrs. Anderson Music, Co.

6 to 7 p.m.-Chinese record pro-quite apart from the thrilling dramatic interest of the picture, the settings are most attractive.

+

9

'

gramme.

to 10.30 p.m-European pro- gramme of Columbia records selected and supplied by Messrs. Anderson Music Co...

The story relates to the daring. theft of diamonds from a jeweller's

The Merry Brothers and Echoes shop, the escape of the thieves, and of the Valley, Bournemouth their pursuit by a detective of Municipal Orchestra.

The Sunshine of Marseilles and rather unusual type. Quite a good There's Something. About film, featuring Lola Lage and Paul You That's Different, Maurice) Turner (Baritone),

Ye Can Coine and See the Baby

and Sailing Up the Clyde,

Will Fyffe (Comedian).

A Gay Gaballero and The Return of Barnacle Dill, The Regal

Rascals. O'Dry Those Tears, and I'll Sing Thee Songs of Araby, Jack Mackintosh (Cornet). The Chairman's Remarks, W

Page.

Submarine Number in Natural

One of the biggest numbers in the William Fox Movietone Follies of 1929," which comes to the Queen's. Theatre on Wednesday, is filmed in colour. It is called "Under the liam McCulloch (Recital).

Sea, and is a beautiful fantasy, Jamie's Patrd) and Paddy's based upon an ancient Japanese Patrol, St. Hilda Professional legend concerning a fisherman who

Band..

Florrie Fords Old Time Medley, was lured from his sweetheart's side Florrie Fords (Comedienne). by a Lorelei who promised to sbow What Are You Going To Do him the wonders of a submarine About Mary and What Can grotto in return for his love. The "You Do Without Money? scenic effects and costumes are Tommy Handley (Comedian). gorgeous, and the addition of colour Oh! Maggie, What Have You greatly enhances the entertainment.

Been Up Tot and Park You.

"Roadhouse Nights" at the self Close To Me, The Two Gilberts -

The Gospel Feast, March, and Mighty To Save, March, The Salvation Army Supplies Dept.

TH

at Central,

"Roadhouse Nights" is solid. amusement from start to finish. It is essentially a comedy thriller, of A Little Kiss Each Morning and and laughs follow each the other the highest type-that is, the thrills I'll Be Reminded of You, so swiftly that it is impossible, to Layton and Johnstone (Duet) determine where one ends or the Leslie Stuart Memories, Vocal other begins. It is a historic pic-

Gems, Layton and Johnstone. ture, because it marks the film The Club Raid, Talking by Billie debut of one Jimmy Durante, the

Bennet.

the leader of the trio Clayton, Jackson, and Durante, "who act as

performers in the roadhouse. Helehr Morgan sings blues" in her own inimitable manner. Charles Ruggles furnishes road after road with droll comedy, and Fred Kohler turns in. his usual finished performance 28 the rum king,

"

TO-DAY & TO-MORROW

At 230, 5.10, 7.15 & 9 20.

A TALE OF LOVE IN SPAIN!

MAE MURRAY

IN

VALENCIA

AT THE

STAR

FINAL 'SHOWING TO-DAY At 5.30.

At 9.15. NICOLA

THE ALL LOYE-LAUGH SPECIAL!

AT THE

WORLD

BROWN

FOR

:: WELL

CUT SUITS.

Suits made by us are distinc- tively tailored Finest Quality Mater- ials and are of Irreproachable CUT, FIT and STYLE and of Unequalled

Value:

from funniest mugg" comic the talking My Mother Doesn't Know I'm on screen has ever produced. He is

the Stage, Billie Bennet

(Comedian). Song of the Waterfall and Scout of the Jasmins, Squire Celeste, Octette: Love's Old Sweet Song and

Moon-Enchanted, Dora Lab botte and Hubert Eisdell... The Miner's Dream of Home, and Just A Wee Dooch and Doris, Quentin M. Maclean (Organ.) The Swankers-You Don't Say Bydney Howard and Vera Pearce. p.m.-Weather report, time and

local news. A Goodbye To All That and The Shadow of a Rose, Marie. Burke (Soprano), Mephistophelas March and Langland Bay March, Carisie St. Stephen's Brash Band.

Invitation to the Valse and Chant Sans Paroles, Squire Celest

Octette a

hore At Tou Pat

Fattman -(Organ),4 lit Mr. Cinders Vocal Selection.

Comedy SingersTKY Men of England, Short Patriotic Ode. Choir, with Ketelbey's Concert Orchestrato007 B (Continued of foot of next column.)

How Am I To Know and Molly," Layton and Johnstone (Duet). Len; Giovanni-On Her Content- ment and Len Giovanni-Fly Then, To My Beloved, Hed die Naah (Tenor). Miss Me Again-Walter, Hawai

iari Guitar, Banjo and Uku- lele Ario

KaiviWaltz, Hawaiian Guitar

Duct.

Follow Through-Selection, Billy

Mayer (Piano),Poke Crepuscule-Tango, Dinicu and

His Orchestra ACT

The Elite Dance Orchestra. The Leader of the Town Brass Band and The Tuse the Bosun Played, Robert Eas. ton (Bass). Sylvia Ballet, HM, Grenadier

Guardat d 10.30 pmClose down.

2nd Floor 7: Duddell St opposite Gospel) TEL. 23056.

Shiris and Pyjamas

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ASTHMA

Safterers from Arthuria find in- stant relief Ja this standard zemedy "of 60.

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LAURA

LA PLANTE

IX

HOME JAMES'

FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY At 280 & 7.15-Interpreter. At £15 & 9.20-Orchestra

TO-DAY & TO-MORROW

At 5.80 & 9.20 p.m.

MAY MCAVOY

IN

A RENO

DIVORCE"

w th

RALPH GRAVES

"

A daring ultra-modern story of Reno-vated lives!

At 2.30 & 7.20 p.m. Chinese Picture : "Reminiscence

of Peking"

AT THE

MAJESTIC

Nathan Road, Kowloon.“