1930-05-20 — Page 3

HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.

Lux: Why did your friend change, barbers!"

Lox: The first one insisted on telling hair-raising stories."

"Why do you carry a mortgage?” asked the bachelor.

'Because I can't lift it," replied

the married man.

#

Mrs. Prim: "But how do you know so much about your new neighbours if you have not seen thec?"

Mrs. Trim: Yesterday was their washday!"

Street" Singer. "Yus, lidy, it is monotonous singing the same old song. Filteen years I done, it, and me father, before me, but it wasn't 20 monotonous for him 'cos he knew the words."

Boss Painter; "Say, what's the idea of wearing so many clothes? You're working inside aren't you?" Apprentice: "Well, it pays on this cap of paint, For best results, put on at least three conts?

"There is one after-dinner speech of thy husband's of which I never tire.

What is the joke?" "It's when he says, I'll be glad to help you with the dishes."

Sher You are not listening to what I say,"

Husband: "How do you know, dear?

She: "I asked if I might spend twenty pounds on my spring outfit and you said, 'Certainly, darl- *ing.'"

Young Mother: "Our baby is so right that I am beginning to get concerned about him."

Friend: "But what is there to worry about?''

Young Mother: "I don't know which to teach him first-to walk or to drive the car!"

A lady was entertaining the small son of her friend.

"Are you quite sure you can cut your meat, Willy?" she asked, after watching him a moment,

"Oh, yessum," he replied with out looking up. "We often have it as tough as this at home."

"Yes, sir," panted the new shep herd, "I got all the sheep in, but I had to run some to get those lamba."

Jack What did the landlady do when she found that you had left che light burning for threa days?"

Spratt: "She turned us both out."

Scissors Grindler: "Want any scissora sharpened, lady 1"

Housekeeper: "No, not to-day." Scissors Grinder: "Well, I'll give you a bargain, I'll sharpen a pair for the price of one."

The time clock strikes this knell of

workaday,

The hooking cars begin to crawl'

and creep;

All tired toilers homeward wend

their way

And leave the watchman to his all-

night, sleep,

Stronger in Zurich. "Conductor, can one see the Jungfrau from bere

"

Conductor: "No, sir"

Tourist to daughter); "Mary just put in your diary "that the Jungfrau cannot be seen from this spor."

floor

Elevator Operator: "What.

Passenger: "Seven and Lighth."

comical t Elevator Operator: "Trying to

Passenger: "No; that's where you stopped last time.

"That cheque I gave on our bank has come back, complained the wife to her husband. "What do you suppose they did that for !"

No funds, I suppose.'

"No funds! Why, they advertise that they have a half a million sur- "plus"

Youth: "Last night in my dreams. I proposed to you, Miss Eva. What do you suppose that signifies

THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. TUESDAY, MAY 20, 1930.

SNAPSHOTS OF A BOY HANGING UP HIS CLOTHES By GLUYAS WILLIAMS

WILLAMS

MOTHER CALLS UPSTAIRS

TO BE SURE TO HANG

HIS CLOTHES UP BEFORE HE BETS INTO BED

TEN MINUTES LATER. SHOUTS THERE IS NOT ONE THERE EITHER UNLESS HE TAKES ONE OF DADDY'S SUITS 'OFF

(3-31

TO-DAY'S WIRELESS

PROGRAMME.

·

BROADCAST BY Z.B.W. ON

335 METRES.

SHOUTS DOWN. HOW ABOUT HIS SHIRT"? SHALL HE HANG IT UP OR PUT IT IN THE WASH

NO ANSWER'. TRAILS MOTHER OUT TO KIT......, CHEN REPEATING IN QUIRY. AT INTERVALS

11 to 11.30 am.-Commercial News. 11.30 am to 12.30 p.m. Chinese

programme.

Eva (impatiently): "It shows that 6 to 8 p.m.-Programme of H.M.V. you have more gumption when asleep than you have when you're awake."

A very small and important boy, i carrying a" parcel, knocked loudly at the door of a suburban villa When the mistress of the house ap- peared, he exclaimed, "I'm Dickins and Jones.?'

Oh, are you?" said the womSD, looking down at the diminutive figure; "then who's minding the shop

It was the duty of a warrant of- "Lambs. I have na lambs. Let's vice, to give out the hymns. Be figer, taking part in the church ser- see what you got," was the answer.

ing A man who economized in Looking into the shed, the aston-words, he called out in a loud ished owner saw 14 panting jack soice of command:-** rabbits.

...

"Now, Mary, when you bath the baby, be sure to use the thermome- tet to test the water."

Returning an hour later, the mis tress asked, "Did you use the ther- mometer ?"!

"Hymn number two-double-o. seven: Art thou weary; ditto Jan- guid; ditto sore distressed ?"

"The rapidly increasingly divorce rate," remarked the wit, indicates that Britain is indeed becoming the land of the free."

"No, ma'am, I can tell without "Yes," replied the prosaic friend, that. If it's too hot, baby turns"but the marriage rate suggests red, and if it's too cold, he'll turn that it is still the home of the tluc."

brave,"

A wealthy lady had come to an artist's studio to look at his pic tures. At the end of two hours she had made no indication that she would like to buy one, though the artist had patiently gone round explaining their different points At last she said, "My dear man, I wonder if there is anything vainer in the world than you ar- tists over your pictures"

Yes, madam,” was the reply "our efforts to sell them."

A minor case arising out of a motor smash was being heard in a draughty court-room. Proceedings had just reached the point where the presiding magistrate was ex- pected to pronounce his judgment, when that gentleman, feeling the freezing blast on the back of his neck, picked up the skull cap he often wore and placed it on his bald head.

"Bless my soul," said the defen- dant, "he's going to hang me.".

and Victor records supplied by Mesars. Moutrie & Company- Sonata in E Minor, Op. 38"

ist Movement-Allegro non troppo, 2nd Movement-Alle gretto quasi Menuetto, 3rd Movement--Allegro (Brahms) Beatrice Harrison and Gerald

Moore.

Blue Eyes" (Charles O'Flynn

Al Hofman).

Cryin' for the Carolines" (Lewis

Young-Warren), Johnny Mar- vin, Comedian with Orchestra.

che" (R. Strauss), London Symphony Orchestra..

"One Alone” 'and. “It'"* (The Desert Song-Romberg), George Baker, Baritone with Orch. Concertino "--Op. 107 (Chemin

ade) and "Konzertstuck "-Op. 98, Finale (Heinrich Hoffmann) John Amadio, Flute with Orch.

DISPOSES OF SHIRT - AND REPORTS HE CANT FIND A HANGER. INT. THE "CLOSET" FOR HIS SUIT

FINDS MOTHER AND IS TOLD TO PUT HIS SLIPPERS ON AT ONCE, THE IDEA, RUNNING AROUND IN BARE FEET

(Copyright, 1030; by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.).

THE B.B.C. RAISE

A STORM.

POPULAR ORCHESTRA TO

BE DISBANDED.

70,000 LISTENERS PROTEST;

HIGHLY AUTOCRATIC,"

Indignation is felt by wireless listeners in the Midlands at the B.B.C.'s announcement made re cently that Birmingham Studio Orchestra, which for several years has been broadcasting music of a popular nature, is to be disband

ed,

IS TOLD TO BORROW A HANGER FROM DADDY'S CLOSET

FIVE MINUTES LATER. 'CALLS' HE CAN ONLY

FIND ONE SLIPPER. MOTHER SIGHS AND SAYS GET TO BED SHÈLL HANG HIS CLOTHES UP

"SO THIS IS COLLEGE."

PAST AND BRILLIANT ACTION

AT THE QUEEN'S.

Without question the talking, pic- ture now showing at the Queen's Theatre, So This is College," is one of the best films seen in the Colony for a long time and afforded no little enjoyment to the large audiences present during the week- end and yesterda

The action of the picture revolves round a phase of American college life that lends itself to effective treatment at the hands of the scenario writer, and in this particular case, plenty of cope.

As a result, a number of musicians has been provided for a wealth will be unemployed after September of alternating comedy, pathos

Till Eulenspiegels Lustige Strei-ext, when their contracts expire, and thrills galore. It is the

and only during the winter season will Midland listeners hear any story of two college room-mates who orchestral music from the Midland har remained, staunch friends for station.

four years, sharing their neckties The B.B.C. intend to replace the studio orchestra by an

as well as their flirtations, until] octet af ysicians and also to take more they meet a girl whom they both concerts from the City of Birming fall

-In Jove with this time ham Orchestra.

‛·,। The negotiations between the seriously-and from that point on- B.B.C. and the civil authorities in wards, there is trouble, which, how Birmingham for the placing of the ever, eventually rolls by like. a City Orchestra on a permanent. basis have broken down, chiefly Passing cloud, the reconciliation owing to the B.B.C.'s inability to coming in a most unexpected and give the necessary financial sup-highly dramatic manner. port.

6 to 7 p.m.-European programme, 7 to 7.30 p.m.-Lesson in Cantonese

by Rev. H. R. Wells.

7,30 to 8 p.m.-Recorded pro-

gramme:-

"The Drage Way" (Clarkson Rose

and Homea" (Weston and Lee), Norman Long, Humorous with Piano. "Suite Francaise" (Foulds), The Band of HM. Coldstream Guards.

The position after September is that the City Orchestra will give additional publie concerts, which the B.B.C. will relay from the Midland Regional station, and also occasional concerts from the studio. A few of the studio musicians will

#!

"Fountains of "Rome"; No. 1-join the City Orchestra.

The Fountain of Valle Giulaat dawn and No. 2-The Triton Fountain at morn (Hespighi), London Symphony Orchestra. 8 p.m.-Chinese programme relayed from Ko Shing Theatre until 'end of play.

The net result of the change is that there will be more music re layed from London to the Midland Regional station.

IT'S "DOG'S HEAD" GUINNESS STOUT

EVIDENCE WHY

"DOG'S HEAD'

IS GOOD FOR YOU

Distributors: JOHN MANNERS & Co., Ltd,

Mercantile Bank

Bank Building. Tel. 22809, Obtainable from all Dealers.

"SERIES No. 1.

The following doctor's letter is published by special permission:

DEBILITY

Guinness often supplies just the

YOULL FEEL

WHEN YOU'VE HAD

health after a debilitating illness.

M.B.

-“DOG'S HEAD'

At the end of last month a peti- tion was sent to the Postmaster General protesting against the cen- tralization policy, which will result in the disbandment, of the Studio Orchestra. Nearly 70,000 listenera have signed the petition, and Bir- mingham and Midland M.P.'s as companied the delegation, which handed the petition to the Post master-General.

MF. Wilfrid Whitely, M.P., for Ladywood, said that the petitioners were assured of wide support from Members of Parliament..

The attitude of the B.B.C. is highly autocratic," anid Mr. J. H. Sextone, organiser of the petition, and it shows that they are not concerned about the listeners who have so much enjoyed'&G.B. music. The Studio Orchestra has been ex- "tremely popular to wireless listeners on account of the judicious way in which classical and popular music has, been mixed."

ADVICE FOR INVESTORS,

RE

Sally Starr makes a rivacions Babs," the irresponsible college flirt who goes about carrying her heart on her sleeve, so to speak, revelling in light loves which she discards as lightly as she would an old scarf. Playing opposite to her are Robert Montgomery and Elliott Nugent, who acquit them- selves with distinction, both in point of acting and singing. In- cluded in a strong cast is Cliff Edwards, better known aá !! Ukulele Ike," whose vocal mannerisms and original comedy work furnish some of the most delightful moments of enjoyment for the audience.

The various song-hits, the fine elocution of the principal actors and the thrills provided by an exciting game of American college football, with a dash of drama în it, all go to make an exceptionally fine picture...

So This is College?! "will be screened for the last time to-day. Cinema fansia quest of genuine entertainment cannot afford to misa this remarkable picture.

DRY LOBBYING IN U.S. DEFENDED.

ANTI-SALOON LEAGUE'S

[ACTIVITIES.

[UNITED PEISS.].

Washington, May 12-Mr. Ernest, H. Cherrington, secretary of the national executive committee of the Anti-Saloon League of Amerjei, to-day told the Senate Lobby Com- mittee that the, league's activities at Washington have been "honour- able and not to be classed" with those of ordinary lobbyista..kasih He declared that until supermen, and superwomen were chosen sa 200 wat he accorgislators of the Asuna orde

EADERS are reminded that inquiries relating the share market are answered on page 12 every Tuesday by Kufen" Let- ter abould be sent to this

panied by

address, not Letters sho

to GUINNESS.

Editor.

hame and tion:

sed.

| are citizens would feel justified. in l Tresenting their attitude at Was shington toward proposed, legi tion

As head of the leagu

ity: Mr Cherrington had considerable expé work at Washington,

himself

The College Musical:

Comedy Riot!

SO THIS

S COLLEGE

Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer ALL TALKING PICTURE

ra

with

ELLIOTT NUGENT

ROBERT MONTGOMERY. CLIFF EDWARDS SALLY STARR

A SAM WOOD

Production

You'll die laughing at the fim and frolic in this merry college

romance!

"Campus, Capera" and other pePPY song hits! The hapi piest." picture treat in monthal,

YOUTH-LOVE-LAUGHS-SINGING !

AT THE

QUEEN'S

FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY

At 2.30, 510, 7.15 & 9.20

THE THRILLING ROMANCE OF AN UNUSUAL HORSE !

WILLIAM DAN PREVENTS

Tom Mix

AND TONY THE WONDER HORSE

JUST TONY

AT THE

RE-ISSUE

STAR

AT THE

TUESDAY

WEDNESDAY At 5.30 & 9.20.

MARION

DAVIES

IN

ZANDER THE GREAT”

TUESDAY & WEDNESDAY

WORLD

NANCY CARS

MCRARD

PAUL LUKAS

MANHATTAN COCKTAIL

At 2.80 & 7.15-Interpreter. At 5.15 & 9.20—Orchestra. ⠀⠀

TO-DAY ONLY

At 2.30, 5:30. 7.20 & 9.20 p.m.

INGREDIENTS:

A barrel of ginger and a carload of pep. A red-. beaded girl and a boy right in step. The apics of good "drama and a dash of smart dancing. Sparkling humour and a story entrancing. To be taken in a comfortable. seat at the

MAJESTIC

Nathan Road, Kowloon.

LATEST

GRAMOPHONE

RECORDS

are obtainable at.

THE WING ON CO., LTD.

(Music Department).