1930-05-17 — Page 3

HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.

"I said your ship would come in this week. Was correct?

"Well, partly. My salary was docked."

"Your picture reminds me of Leonardo da Vinci."

"Yes, quite a lot of imitata my work."

people

Inventor. "What would you sug gest I try to invent next

Caller: "The world would wel come a disappearing No Parking sign.

**

"But my dear Miss Cute. I've already let young Spark, have the afternoon off to get married;, why must you go too"

"Because I'm the bride!!

"Why

jam ?

are you eating, plum

We are vegetarians." What does that mean " "Father gets all the meat."

Mrs. Hinote: "How is Bobby get. ting along with his violin lesson (". Mrs. Eonote: "Oh, just fine! Even when he is in another room, I can almost tell whether he is tuning up or playing!"

14

You say you, have good refer. eztas ?"

"Yes, ma'am. I have over a hun- dred splendid references."

"And how long have you been i domestic service "

Twd years, ma'am.!!

"Say, Mamma," queried 5-year- old Johnny, are you going to give

ne another piece of pie!"

"Why do you ask that, dear inquired his mother.

35

Hubby: "Dida't you see. Mrs. Gabby wave her hand at you ?"

Wife: "No, I qply noticed her Anger wave.'

Mother: Johnny, why do you cat more pie when we have com- pany than when we're alone ?"

Johnny: We have pudding when we're alone."

New Soryan (surveying her room): "I'm afraid this is rather small for me."

Mistress: "That's strange: it's Ieen big enough for scores of others."

Boxing Instructor (after first les- son): Now, have you any ques- tions to ask?'*

Beginner (dazed): "Fes; how much

correspondence course

your

He spent several days fishing and presented his landlady with enough fish to supply the whole boarding house. At the end of the week his bill included the item:

"Lard (for frying fish)-is. 6d"

Conjurer: "Will you so kindly tell z audience if ze rabbit is now in ze 'at'

Impromptu Assistant: "Ain't you a marvel, it's disappeared! I wonder if you'd 'ave a go at a bundle of aid razor blades I've got?"

Thrifty Man. "Why spend so much on clothes. Cheap ones are just as good. I paid £3 for this suit, and I guess if I had paid £8 you would believe me.

Friend (examining cloth); "Cer- tainly-if you told me on the tele- phone."

'Cause, he explained, if youcher painted out to the class that

During a history lesson the ten don't, I'll eat this piece real slow."

How much are these

Lady: chickens ?"

Butcher: "A dollar and a half, ma'am."

Lady: "Did you raise them your self

Butcher: Yes, they were 81.23 yesterday."

THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. SATURDAY, MAY 17, 1930.

SUBURBAN HEIGHTS-RAIN AT NIGHT

SLONAM WILLIAMS

OPENS WINDOW FOR

THE NIGHT. FINDS IT IS RAINING

CAN'T SLEEP BECAUSE HE KEEPS THINKING HE HEARS IT RAINING AGAIN.

CLOSES WINDOW "TO WITHIN A FEW INCHES OF THE BOTTOM SO HE WON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT THE FLOORS

GETS UP AND MOVES CHAIR WITH HIS CLOTHES,

AND ANYTHING ELSE NEAR WINDOW

JOURNEY'S END" ON

THE SCREEN.

ONE OF THE GREATEST

FILMS EVER MADE."

By GLUYAS, WILLIAMS

CANT SLEEP BECAUSE THERE ISN'T AIR ENOUGH. REALIZES SUDDENLY THAT IT HAS STOPPED

RAINING

SPREADS TOWELS ON FLOOR AND WINDOW SILL. LET IT RAIN

NOW!

(Copyright, 1930, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.,

.nf

CUMBS CUT OF BED AND OPENS WINDOW WIDE

FINDS STARS ARE OUT. CLIMBS WEARILY BACK' TO BED AND WES AWAKE WORRYING WHETHER, HE CAUGHT COLD

WOMAN'S CORNER.

LONGER SKIRTS.

THE "RIGHT" LENGTH.

a surname often indiented the trade of the ancestors of those who bore the same. He gave the ch

The most famous man in Holly- viously simple examples of Smith,wood at the moment is Mr. James Taylor, Baker and others.

Then he questioned one of the Whalt, the young London actor who boys:

directed the screen H

version What were your ancestors," Journey's End," the play which Webb'7"

Ee produced on the London stage. "Spiders, sir!!

It is unfortunate that the length Hollywood's profesional critics of women's clothes is again rais are unanimous in regarding" Jouring questions of propriety, and ney's End as one of the greatest that much longer skirts immediate fins ever made.

"Harry, aged six, had been taken by his father to the barber's. While awaiting his turn he was much in terested in watching the barber's operations on other customers, In due course he was lifted into the high chair and deprived of his superfluous hair.

The master, to impress on his pupils the need of thinking before speaking, told them to count 50 be fone saying anything important, and 100 if it was very important.

Next day he was speaking, stand- ing with his back to the fire, when he noticed several lips moving him down he remonstrated with As the barber was about to lift rapidly.

Suddenly the whole "class shout-him. Father was obliged to come ed: "Ninety-eight, ninety-nine, a

to the rescue to adjust matters, hundred four cont's. 00 fire, when the boy cried indignantly sir!"

"Daddy, he hasn't done my face l'

A negre was a regular visiter, to the local library, where it W1.5 noticed he always took the same book, opened it eagerly, and then burst into hearty laughter.

The attendant's curiosity, being aroused, he looked over the visi tor's shoulder, and noticed the picture of a small boy being chas ed by a bull.

The attendant was about to ask what there was to laugh at when the Negro chuckled: "Golly! ain't caught him yet!''

Te

Mary was a charming girl, and her employer took a great interest in her love affairs. But even she was surprised when Mary announc ed that she had charged her mind and was not going to marry the milkman.

scrapping is to take place, and thin applies particularly to evening frocks. This is often not a diffi- cult matter, owing to the higher. waist. The short dress should be ent in two pieces, just at the higher waistline. Between the two por- tions a third section can be in- serted which, when joined up, makes the dress of the required length. which is worn with practically The top can be covered by the belt ly make the shorter variety look a every dress, while the extra piece Mr. Whale's work made such an litle doubtful in character. In itself can take the form of a hip- impression that he was called in to reality, it should be possible for of the dress is fitted naturally and yoke, into which the lower portion finish the production of a war film women to wear long or short cio with whatever. shaped seara scerns the stupendous sum of £800,000 had or trousers are worn by men. called "Hell's Angels," on which thee as they like, much as shorts most satisfactory. It can be made inthe, shape of a really fitting At yoke, and the lower portion, of the been spent without any apparent the same time, the eye is being, orignal dress can then be gather- prospect of it ever being completed. brought into line by inexorabled in as though it were the fashion-

It is possible that the screen ver- fashion, and in a very short time,

able flounce.. sion of "Journey's End," which as is indeed even now the case, the was made in Hollywood with an very short dresses will look die English cast, under the general sup-tinctly eccentric and even ridicul-treated in the same way.

ervision of Mr. George Pearson, will be sold in America for, at least £100,000, and will turn out to be

"But I thought he was such a nice man," said the mistress. "Why"gold mine" richer even than have you thrown him over for the the play, butcher, Mary,"

"Well, you see, ma'am," replied Mary, "I suddenly remembered as how my father always said blood is thicker than water."

Mr. Whale is an Englishman in the early thirties. Most of his experience has been gained in the repertory movement, chiefly in con- nection with the Stage Society.

BIGGER & BETTER THAN EVER

CHRONICLE

and

DIRECTORY

for

1930

PRICE: TWELVE DOLLARS.

Hong Kong Daily Press

Once

dus. It is true that the shortest lengths have not been among the most satisfactory for everybody, but there is a length which just covers the top of the calf, which is prettier than the very short dress and which is also quite con- venient for everyday purposes.

Evening Dresses. Evening dresses can often be Some- two sections of lace, which, with times it is a good plan to join in

little stuff between them, con- stitute the third of the dress, all dresses falling more or less in to three parts. Where the longer, full evening dresses are worn, it is con- venient sometimes to join on round the lower edge a wide piece of tulle doubled, or even trebled. It gives the" necessary length, while provid- Short dresses will have to being the transparent effect of many adapted soon unless a general of the newer frocks.

Adaptation Needed,

PUFFIN PENNIES

CONDEMNED."

tי''

ISLAND OWNER ON COINAGE CHARGE.

The owner of Lundy Island, off the coast of Devon-Mr. Marţin Coles Harman-was recently fred £3 and fifteen guineas costs, at Bideford, on a charge of issuing a piece of metal as a money token. Lundy for many years has claim-

ed its judical Independence, and

issue a piece of mental of the value of one half-penny contrary to sec- tion five of the Coinage Act, 1870,

Ruth Chatterton

with

Lewis

Stone

"Raymond Hackett

PICTURE

will touch your heart by her greatest portrayal in the All-Talking Hit!

X

Madame

"The most stirring movie ever made."

AT THE

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FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY

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LILY DAMITA

AT

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Samuel Goldbryn

THE "

SHOWINGS TO-DAY

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with RENEE ADOREE Don't Miss This Fascinating Romance

WORLD

THE MAN WITH A WILD LOOK.

NOVEL INTRODUCTION OF. DUTCH AUTHOR.

A gentleman seated in the stalls ; ut the conclusion of the play at the Little Theatre reccatly sudden

It was submitted by Mr. H R.ly got up and vaulted unceremoni- Bazeley, for Mr. Harman, before ously across the footlights on to the case was gone into, that the the stage. island was outaide the world.

He had a wild look in his eyes. He. wiped the perspiration off his His iron-grey hair was dishevelled. rugged face.

No rates or, taxes of any kind were paid, and whatever levica were made were made by the owner It was Mr. Jan Fabricius, the himself. There was no such thing Dutch author of the play, "Insult" as a register of births or deaths which, in an English version by or marriages, and even in cases Messrs. Harold Terry and Harry' of sudden death there were no in Tighe, was then being loudly up- quests beyond an inquiry which plauded by its first night audi- the owner might make.

City Financier.

ence.""

your

lan-

With this unconventiona} in. troduction to London, Mr. Fabri- its owner maintains that it is an eier of the City of London.

Mr. Harman is a notable financius, in naive English, thanked the One audience, the actors, the stage-man- other State, and not, therefore, of the coins recently issued in the ager, and everyone he could think subject to the Crown.

island bears his effigy, similar to of, although, as he charmingly Philatelist and numismatists that of the King on imperial coin put it, my command of flocked to the island to obtain age, surrounded by the inscription guage give me the limit."

Martin Colca Harman, 1020," Problem of the Half-Caste. specimens of the coinage," and as Another coin inscribed "Lundy- much as half a crown was paid Half Pufin," bears the head of a East Indies, deals melodramatical- "Insult," a story of the Dutch for the novel coinage and stamps puffin. The pufin stamp bears the ly with a problem that has done when they were issued.

design of a puffin with the words familiar service in highly-coloured "Landy" and "Puffin" end the plays of the British Empire. It figure 1 on each side.,

is the problem of the half-caste,"

Mr. Harman, the owner of the island, left the court when it was announced by the chairman, Sir. Hugh Stuckley, that the bench was a supperintendent of the police Dutch uniform, who, because of his It was revealed in evidence by in this case a gallant officer in convinced that it had jurisdiction that he visited the island with the Javanese grandmother, is insulted He was recalled when it was stat- chief constable for Devon in Decemby a superior officer. ed that the charge was criminal,ber. Inst. They saw the coinage in

and ordered to remain in the court circulation at the stores, Mixed dialect word that casts reflections When he is called "Seinjo, the until the conclusion of the case. with imperial coinage.

Little Kingdom.”.

on his mother, he runs amok and half kills his commander. For this he is condemned to death by the. Military Code,

Mr. W Perry, chief clerk at the Royal Mint, said the coine had A defence was made that Lundy been issued without their author was a little kingdom in the Briity... tish Empire-but not of England."

Much of the language, in the Mr. W. E. Bromett, of the Birm- English version at any rate, ia caused to be Bleued colange and Mr. Harman with fity thousanding speeds between the dull and stamps of the value of one putin coins, which had a puffin on one the dashing But there is colour, or half a puha for use on Lundy side and Mr. Harman on the other, clanking awards, and heroics ca Ieland,

Privat The total cost, including the die ough to fill the Lyceums, with a The charge against him was: was nearly £300, and a hundred-gripping last net and a rousing. "That on November 14 he did weight of them were sent to Lundy performance by fr, Leslie Perrins unlawfully, as a token of money, Taland.

as the handsome dark-skinned hero

FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY At 2.30 & 7.15-Interpreter At 5.15 & 8.20--Orchestra.

TO-DAY ONLY At 2.30, 5.30, 7.20 & 9.20 p.m.

Hobart Bosworth

I The

Blood Ship

Jacqueline Logan Richard Arien

Scenes of stirring inten- sity aboard a sailing inferno. A climax that

is the most thrilling ever conceived in motion pictures.

A Columbia Special Production.

AT THE

MAJESTIC

Nathan Road, Kowloon