1930-05-14 — Page 3

HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.

"Don't you think my new hat is rather ducky, dear !"*

"Yes, but the bill is too large."

"

We are going to bed and the peole in New Zealand are just get- ting up."

"Lazy folks!"

"That ain't no Roatan vawse." "Well, it's got Roman figures on

د.

"So as my watch."

"My husband is a man who calls! n spade a spade."

"So was mine until he bought' = | house with a garden.”

"He succeeded in cutting himself off from the rest of the world."

"Oh, the hermit idea!" "No, & telephone booth!"

"Have you ever heard Screamer sing ""

me.

"Oh, yes, many times. I can even remember when she'rinde her second farewell tour!"

Auntie: What kind of doll would you like me to buy you, dear?"

Little Niece: "I think, Auntie, I would like twins."

Officer. "Are you sure you gave the proper signal before making that turn "

Madelynn: "Yes, indeed! My Arin was extended the full length of the block !?!

"How was it that the lecturer didn't come and give his talk on self-management ?"

"19 manager

date.

THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. WEDNESDAY, MAY 14, 1930.

THE FAMILY ALBUM-THE PLEASURE DRIVE.

By GLUYA'S WILLIAMS

3

Ruth Chatterton

will touch your

milk.

Lewis

cancelled the

14

PACKS FAMILY INTO CAR, AND

BEGINS SNIFFING, DELLARES

FAMILY FINALLY CONVINCES

Stone

STARIS OUT FOR AFTERNOONS. « HE SMELLS SOMETHING HOT- SOMETHING'S WRONG SOME- PLEASURE DRIVE.

WHERE

HIM IT ISN'T IN THE CAR-IT'S THE BONFIRE IN THAT

BACKYARD

Hackett

Why did that old gentleman jump out of your way as you passed t

"Oh, he used to be my dancing

master.

Tom (to Bill, who is fishing): "Caught anything "

BT: "Well, I booked a salmon tin. but I think the salmon got away."

[

Inspector: "Got away, bas be? Did you guard all the entrances?". Country Constable: "Yes, but we think he must have left by one of the exits.

"Well, Eric, how did you like your first day at school""

"It was rather good, but there was a man in front of the class and he kept spoiling the fun."

Mr. Jimpson was hurrying be- cause he was late for dinner. He stumbled on the doormat and fell sprawling into the hall.

"Mamma," exclaimed son Wil- liam, "Papa came in before he got, here."

The poet was famous, but the landlord was irate

4

"I want my rent," stated the lat- ter, and went it to-day. If I don't get it, to-morrow people will

"What makes you think that cus-be pointing out this house as the

place where you once lived. tower was a woman disguised as a Jan?" asked the haberdasher.

"Because he or she-insisted on trying on every hat in stock, before baying one," replied the clerk.

Employer: These references are all in the same handwriting. Are you sure they are genuine

Applicat: "Well, you advertis ed for n man with a lively im- agination. and I used mine in pre- paring thein 15

A group of pilots. were buzzing about something or other as the flight commander approached, and several times he caught the expres sion, "the last word in airplanes" Well," he said, as he reached the group, "what is the last word in airplanes ?”

The group chorused: "Jump!"

"Mummy, it's polite always to say Thank you' for anything, isn't it ?

"Yes, dear.".

Janet (disappointedly): "I guess Roger and I won't get married so soon after all."

Mother: "Why, what makes you think that "

Janet: "He sent me a large box of handkerchiefs with my initials on them-enough to last a year!"

seen my dog this

"Have you morning"

I

Storekeeper: "Seen him? should think I have! Came in here, took a ham, chewed my trousers,

customer into and then upset a

some eggy'

"Really? Well, I wonder if you'd. inind putting this most notice in your window?"

Recently at a fashionable ball a young woman who had been sitting out several dances was delighted to see one of the handsomest men in the room approaching...

He halted before her. He bowed.

"And it's rude to speak with "May Fhave this?" he asked. your mouth full, isn't it?"

"Yes dear.

"Well, then, alummy, if I say "Thank you' with my mouth full, Am I polite or rude?"

Smiling, the arose.

"Ah, thank, you," said the mân, and picked up a Spanish shawl upon which she had been sitting, and departed.

Drive him out!

Drive him out!

DRWES ON IN MORE OR LESS PEACE UNTIL HE BE- GINS TO WORRY, WHETHER. THERE'S ENOUGH WATER IN THE RADIATOR. "

MILDRED ASSURES HIM THAT WAS JUST THE DOOR HANDLE THAT SHE WAS PLAYING WITH, IS UNCONVINCED (5-3

LEAGUE COUNCIL

MEETS.

STARTS LONG ARGUMENT AS TO WHETHER, WILFRED DID OR DIDNT FILL IT UP, LAST SUNDAY

SEES A LOT OF BROKEN CLASS IN ROAD AND IS

SURE HE DROVE THROUGH . IT.

FORGETS ARGUMENT-IN SUD- DEN INTEREST IN QUEER KNOCKING SOUND

FINISHES PLEASURE DRIVE EXPECTING EACH SECOND

TO FIND HE HAS A FLAT

TIRE

(Copyright, 1930, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc)

The present session of the Council will examine all that has been ae complished to date as a result" of the British programme, and pre- pare a final report to the Assembly on the extent to which it has been

IMPORTANT BUSINESS. TO fulfilled..

BE DISCUSSED.

[UNITED PRESS.]

GENEVA, May 12. The Sfty-ninth session of the Council of the League of Nations convened here to-day,

The meeting will be an unusually important one In the first-place it will be the last session, except for a few days in the early part of September, before the meeting of the League Assembly on September

10.

Secondly, and more importantly it will constitute the drawing-up of a sort of balance-sheet of success and failure of the League "pro- gramme, for 1030 as it was launched before the last Assembly largely by the new British Labour Govern-

ment.

ЧАДНА CARE

He'll exterminate us all! He stepped in

PETERMAN'S ROACH FOOD

FATAL TO COCKROACHES.

On Sale at All Dispensaries & Stores.

RIGHT! He will exterminate them all! :

Peterman's" Roach" Food, extermi- nates every roach in your house.

It entices roaches from their hiding, places. They carry it on their lega and bodies back to their hosts. They. wriggle over all the others there, over their young and their eRES.

Every one dies and disintegrates. No odour. Nothing is left but a little dry dust.

Don2vtrp to £ght roastsangita con spray. No spray can possibly reach the roaches, the young and the eggs far behind the baseboards and under the Boors.

Only the right powder can do that. Peterman'a Roach Food is the right powder.

Disarmament,

-TO-DAY'S WIRELÉSS

PROGRAMME.

BROADCAST BY Z.B.W. ON 333 METRES.

In the first place the Council will" || have to decide whether it is still 11 to 11.30 a.m-Commercial News. possible for the Legue's Prepara 11.30a.m. to 19.30 p.m.-Chinese tory Disarmament Commission to meet before the September Assembly and accomplish something concrete that can be regarded as progress.

6

21

19.30

programme.

to pan-Programme of H.M.V. records supplied by Mesars. Houtrie & Company. to 7 p.m.-Chinese programme. 7 to 9 p.m.-Programme of HM.V.

-and-Victor-records-supplied-by-

Messrs. Moutrie & Co. - The Yeomen of the Guard" (Sul- livan), The Band of H.M. Cold- stream Guards. "

In League circles generally it is regarded as utterly impossible for the Commission to meet now before the Assembly. As a consequence," therefore, of the London Naval Conference, the past year will bare to be checked up as one of that failure in progress towards dis- armement by the League, as the latter suspended all action in order' to give the British Government ‘a chance to have its five-Power con- ference.

Tariff · Questions.

In the economic field the British Labour programine has suffered an even greater defeat. Its conference for the declaration of a two or three year tarif truce can almost be characterized as a complete failure, Fas the principal agrement renched was one merely stabilizing the pre- sent existing commercial treaties for the period of one year..

Likewise its efforts through the International Labour, Bureau for fixing common working-hours for coal-miners in all European States was another failure.

The Kellogg Fact,

In regard to harmonizing the Covenant with the Kellogg Pact, which was undertaken at the initia tive of the British Government, the latter has fared a little better, at

east to-date.

A special Committee has prepared the necessary aniendments to the Covenant eliminating all reference to the right of members of the League to go to war when all efforts at pacific settlement have failed and recommending more extensive pow- ers for the Council, in recompense for the renouncing of war, for settling disputes by pacific means, and also obligatory arbitration.

While it is virtually certain that the present session of the Council will approve this report, it still re- mains to be seen if it will be adopt- ed by the League Assembly and be ratified by the necessary number of individual members.

It is expected that the British Government will also be in a posi tion at the present meeting to advise, the Council at what date the League's Permanent Mandates Commission can meet in order to investigate last year's Wailing Wall riots in Jerusalem. This meeting has been delayed owing to the fact that a report of the Shaw Commis sion, sent out by England to in- vestigate the situation, was not ready to submit to the Commission.

Other League Activities.

The Council will also have before it several reports of major import- ance on League activities for the past year, OVER

1

Sing Thee Songs of Araby" (Clay) and Sigh No More Ladies" (Stevens), Derek: Old- ham, Tenor with Piano.

How About Me" (Flynn) and "Oh, You Have No Idea " (Ponco and Dougherty), Gracie Fields, Comedienne with Orch.. La Souree Ballet" (arr. Winter- bottom), The Band of H.M. Coldstream Guards. Spanish Dance Nos. 1 and 2" (Granados); Now Light Sym- phony Orchestra...... Fisherman of England" (Phil- lipa) and Young Tom o' Devon (Russell), Peter. Daw- son, Bass Baritone with Orch. Concerto In A Minor" (Greig, Op. 16) (in 8 parts), Arthur De Greef and the Royal Albert Hall Orchestra.

Invictus" (Huhn) and "Trees" (Rasbach), Jahis Brownlee, Bari. tone with Piano. Amoureuse" (Berger) and "Jolly Fellows (Vollstedt), Interpa- tional Novelty Orchestra. "Eggs, Toast and Coffee" (Mer- rill) and Just What I Thought" (Bennett and Carl- ton), Dora Maughan and Wal- ter Fehl., Piano accompanied by J. Williams.

"

Nell Gwyn Dances" (Edward German), New Symphony Orch. The Old Sweet Song" (Caprice Viennois) and "Love's Dream" Liebestraum No. 3), (arr. Bes. ly). Winnie Melville, and Derek' Oldham.

"Lily of Laguna (Stuart) and

Just Imagine" (De Sylva, Brown, Henderson), ". Leslić James, Wurlitzer Organ, p.m.-Weather report. Concert by Madam Anna Carola and Mr. Harry Ore.

PROGRAMME

%

heart

by

her

Raymond

greatest portrayal in the All-Talking

· Hit !

FALKING

PICTURE

X

Madame

"The most stirring movie ever made."

AT THE

QUEEN'S

-New York Review.

WEDNESDAY TO

SATURDAY

At 2.80, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.

LYA de PUTTI

IN

"MIDNIGHT ROSE"

A Poignant story of sheer human appeal

AT THE

with KENNETH HARLAN

STAR

FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY

Xt 5:30 & 9,20.

THE amusing story of a "virile" author who tries to follow his own formula for love making.

WICKEDNESS PREFERRED

With

LEW CODY, AILEEN PRINGLE

AT THE

WORLD

This is known as the falling-off season for

Appetites but

LANE CRAWFORD'S

have opened a

COLD BUFFET

AND NOW

the most jaded appetites are tempted by the fine display of Cold Foods.

Choose from our Tasty Tiffin Dishes.

Pianoforte Solo: Sonats In A LANE CRAWFORD'S

(Schubert), Mr. Harry Ore.

9. Songs: Convien Partir?". (Doni- zetti) (La Figlia del Reggimen-

3.

The first of these will be on the results of the League's first inter-4. national conference for the progres sive codification of international law, held recently at The Hague.

The second one will be the roport of the League's Arbitration and Baserity. Cussion jetonte finaz

States victims of aggression, and the other for strengthening means of preventing warna put

Both of the latter are intended to make the Kellogg Pact lookas though it could bite should anyone attempt to violate it

The Council will probably be in session for about ten days.

to), adam Anna Carola.

Bong: (a) Ah! Moon of My. Delight (Lehmann); (b) On Wings of Song (Mendelssohn),. Tudor Davies (H.M.V.-recorda). Pianoforte Solos (6) Medita

RESTAURANT

tion (Techaikovsky); (b) Hum-7. Pianoforte Solo: First Lettish oresque (Tschaikovsky); (c) Rhapsody (Ore), Mr. Harry Prelude in C Minor; (d) Pre- Inde in G Minor) (Rachmani noff), Mr. Harry Ore Bongs as Berredy Bus

belly when

Asleep (E. Stanford Haigh), Madam Anna, Carola

Violin and Wurlitzer Organ

Parted Tosti) and Cavatine (Raff), De Groot (Violin) and Terence Casey (Wurlitzer Or- - ""gan) (H:M.V records), (Continued at foot of next column),

8. Songs: Blue Bird, Sing Me A Song (Davis and Hanley); Vorvin (Fairman), Melville

deon Kord),

8. Songs: Songs of the Hebrides, (a) A Fairy Plaint, (b) A Fairy Love Song, (c) Land of Hearts Desire (Kemely Fraser)," Madam Anna Carola,, Madame Carola accompanying her

self at the Piano 10,20 p.m. (Approx.). Close down.

FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY

At 2.80 & 7.15 Interpreter At 5.15 & 9.20–Orchestra

TO:DAY to SATURDAY.

At 2:30, 5.30, 7.20 & 9.20 p.m.

PICTURDA

Hobart Bosworth

The

Blood Ship

· Jacqueline Logan Richard Arien

Scenes of stirring inten sity aboard a sailing inferno, A climax that

is the most thrilling ever conceived

'motion pictures.

A Columbia Speefal Production.

PRES THE

MAJESTIC

Nathan Road, Kowloon.