THE HONG KÒNG. DAILY PRESS, TUESDAY, JANUARY 28, 1930.
THE BELATED PRESENT
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
3
HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN..
"How shall I make known my daughter's engagement !"
"The fashionable way is to deny it."
"Farmer: "I never see such a sea. zon My corn isa't an inch high
Neighbour: "An inch Why, the sparrows have to kneel down to eat mine!!!
Maid (leaving after extremely short stay). I suppose you'll send my letters on, ma'am
Mistress "Certainly, if there's room on the envelope for any more addresses!!
"Won't you walk as far as the street car with me. Toming 7"
"I can't."
*Why not?
** 'Cause we're going to have sap- per as 8001 as you go.
Humpty Dumpty sat in a class, Humpty Dumpty failed to pass,
All the king's horses
And all the king's men Cauda't make Humpty Dumpty
take
Hydraulics again.
The Lady: So you are going to be my son-in-law f
The Accepted Suitor: "Oh! I badn't thought of that!"
Tom: "I notice you're wearing your socks wrong side out."
Bob: "Yes, my feet got ware and I turned the hese on them."
She: "What do you think of the serenata, Mr. Gladley ?"
He: Serenata, did you say? And I would have sworn she was English
Commercial Traveller (to proprie tor he found playing checkers with Friend in back of store): "Do you know there are two customers in the store P
་་
The dealer kept right on play- ing and whispered: "That's all night. Keep quit and they'll go away again."
A man was praising his wife, as all men ought to do on proper de- casions."She's as womanly a we man as ever. was," he said. "But she ran hammer mails like light- ning"
tener.
That's remarkable," said a lie
"Yes, sir." said the first speaker, "you know lightning-never strikes twice in the same place."
Your tour was not a great gue- epas," then ?" said a friend to an an suuressful stage manager.
"It was not admitted the staged
"When manager.
"What's played tragedy" the box-office receipts were a farce, and when we played farce they were a tragedy!"
we
Twas the night before pay day, and all through my jeans I hunted in vain for the price of some beans. Not a quarter was stirring, even a jit; the kale was off duty,
not
|
...
the trouble asked Jones, when one of his most popu tar jokes failed to score a chuckle,
"Let me se,” raid' the solemn one, thoughtfully. "I've got lo long some flowers, some chocolates, and the theatre tickets, and-"
Doing mental arithmik d his friend.
"Sentimental arithiwtic,” sigh-
willed edges had quit. Forward, | id the young man sadly.. turn forward. O time, in thy Alight make it to-morrow. just for tonight.
Hoax: "How did the pictures son took last week come out?"
Joas: They were ruined when Jimmie dropped toothpaste on the
camera.
He was a rich man and a gener us one. but he did not like to be "done." On one of his visits to a tashionable essort the hotel pro. prietor took advantage of his visi tor's wealth, and the bill he pre- sented was exorbitant.
The visitor, however, paid with
Hoax : "How could spillingent a murmur. Then he said. as toothpaste on the camera hurt he folded the receipt. "By the way. them "
have you any penny stanips 1" Joax:
"Well, you see, it was trond daylight and, as advertised, the toothpaste removed the film.'
i
"Yes, sir, said the manager. "How many would you like?
"Er-how much are they each!"
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
18
26 127
12
lie
B
15
14
18
4
19
23
24
25
28
129
32
34 35
36
40
2941
44 145
149
130
52
53
54
57
58
Horizontal.
1.A serage.
4.- While.
6.--Prefix: double.
To achieve, 11.-Equality. 13.-Motor. 15.Stage direction 36.-Meadow.
18. A single time." 19.-Exist.
20. Natutical: stop!
22.--501.
23.French for and.
24. More clever.
96. Toward.
46
29.-Pertaining to near-eastern-
region.
30-Grins pleasantly.
32. An insert.
33-American polt.
34.-Pivots.
37-To substantiate.
40-Type measure. 41-Surgical stitchings. 43-Exclamation of villain.
44.-Father.
40-Classified.
4-Pronoun.
48.Rudely Inconic.
50.--A number.
51-Pertaining to the mouth.
53.-Dress.
35,--To-land.
57.-Foot-like part."
68.-Paid public announcement.
59.-Compass point.
60. To spread for drying.
Vertical.
1-A Simian.
2.-Negligence.
3.-Codders of discord.
4.-By.
5.Pertaining to forcats.
6.-Lower animals.
7-Within.
9.-Breeze.
9. To urge.
10.-Born,
12.--Pronoun.
-To depart. 17.-Organ of head. 20.Connoisseur. 21-ired. 93.---Plural eading,
24. --Warbles,
5.-Outbreaks. 27.- Bone.
29.--Conducted.
31.Shelter...
31.-Pronoun
35. To attribute.
36.Declared.
37.-Places for contests.
35.-Tulley wheel.
38-Symbol for tantalum.
19.-Western American Indian. 45.-Wiles.
47.-Judicial order.
48.-Top piece.
40.-Musical note.
51-Conjunction.
$2.--Preceded.
54.--Sun god. 56.Musical note.
This puzzle took 19 minutes to solve, Ste how long it will take you to solve it.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
Eo...1853
RENEGE FONE
TOJA JE
CORD
قود
CRAN
METER
WHAT A THRILL YOU GET WHEN A WEEK AFTER CHRISTMAS, MOTHER DISCOVERS A PRESENT
WHICH HAD BEEN OVERLOOKED IN DADDY'S. UNDERWEAR DRAWER, AND AFTER A GOOD DEAL
OF POKING AND PRODDING SHE REMEMBERS WHAT IT IS AND THAT IT'S FOR YOU.
(Copyright, 1930, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc)
GWYDS WILLIAMS
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
WHY HUSBANDS STAY OUT AT
NIGHT.
NIGHT CLUB QUEEN'S ADVICE TO WIVES.
Texas Guinan, the night club queen of New York, has been ad vising several hundred Chirago wives on "Why Husbands Stay Out At Nights"
A crowd of women, which filled the ballroom of the 11linois Wo- men's Athletic Club to overflowing, vnited eagerly to cull the gems of wisdom offered by the blonde and scented entity. who appeared derissed in lack velvet and erwine, her skirt the longest in the room.
Tex declared she was well quali- fed to speak on the subject of her Iecture. She has had three has- bands, and she has been running night clubs in New York for eight years-moving occasionally by re- quest she explained.
Any wives, who came expecting to Le shocked by Tex'a revelation of night life were disappointed, Some of them appeared a little upcom- fortable, is if they had been tricked into going to church, as one of the reports of the lecture put it.
"What do man want when they go home?" she asked. "Do they.
servant want to hear about the
tu
pay
Women crowded to the platform
afterwards to ask her questions.
What if he does, not tell you everything?" She said in reply to one woman, "Don't ask. him! He is just going to tell you, what he wants to tell you."
FOR PURE SKIN.
NEVER NEGLECT EAR-ACHE.
[BY AN AURAL SURGEON.]
The delicate,mechanism of hear ing lies very close to the brain,
and the danger of almost every car complaint lies in the possibility of the trouble being communicated to the brain itself.
The back of the car and the mid- die car are honeycombed with tiny cavities kapwa as the mastoid cells, The brain is separated, from them by a bony layer often no thicker than a sheet of paper.
In spite of this, and though car- ache is often accompanied by an in- tensity of pain which suggests the driving of a live coal into the brain, earache is so common that it is apt to be neglected or treated with rough-and-ready remedies un- til the paroxysins of agony become intolerable and the doctor is cum- mioned.
Then it is often too late.
It is true that a person in good Health may throw off an car affec- tion as easily as a common cold. The greatest danger arises after an attack of an infectious or contagi ous disease, when the power of re- sistance to other infections is low.
It is extremely important to watch for car symptoms after an blood-attack of measles, "scarlet fever, or
Carrots have wonterful purifying and skin-tinting pro question? Do they want to hear perties, and those who wish to have beautiful complexions should make full use of this vegetable.
Steamed, boiled or stewed carrots, if taken often, will cause a'gradual and gratifying transformation, of the skin.
about bids They have them-that is enough,
Jealousy,
:
"I tell you, that is what has made ne a rich woman-wives who talk about the gas bill and the curtains.
But for speedy results, raw carrot
a medium-sized carrot, put the grat-
If you women would amuse your juice should be taken daily. Grate husbands when they come home they would not slip way and payings in a cheese cloth and press the the équivalent of a £1 cover charge
in order to obtain a little umuac-
ment.
2
"Men are like children, and they must be treated like children," she continued
"If they want to play boss, let 'em play boss. What do you care You knew you have the edge on 'em.
"Do you know what breaks up homes more than anything else? It is jealousy; and jealousy is the product of an imaginative mind, mind that has nothing to do. "Again, just because a man is married it does not mean he should not have other friendships and in- terests in life.
"Humour him Remember that without men you could not have love and affection, and without those two things life is pretty bar-
ren."
pice into a up; you will be sur prised how much is obtained.
Brink this en rising, followed by a small glass of fresh milk or
cream..
The combination of vegetable juice and milk is beneficial to stomach, liver and bowela..
influenza.
In all the contagious and infec tious diseases the nasal fluid teems with inflammatory and pusproduc ing germs. These creep into the ear area, and unless they are coun- teracted they attack the delicate mastoid cells.
Within recent years great pro- gress has been made in aural sur- gery. A mastoid operation is no longer dangerous if taken quickly and middle car is destroyed. before the partition, between brain
The ear mechanism is so delicate that it will not tolerate amateur tinkering; and ear diseases are so diverse and subtle that there it little that one can do for them in
the way of home treatment except
under skilled advice.
Hot fomentations and poultices are excellent, but the promiscuous dropping of warm oil into the cars, unless on the doctor's advice, has accentuated more earaches than
it has cured.
Obviously if there is intense pain or the ear is running the situation is urgent. The ear is much too close to the brain to be overlooked, Practically the only regular pre- ventive care that can be given to the ears is to avoid the accumula tion of wax.
When it has become so hardened that it cannot be dislodged with delicate presure with the nail of the forefinger a solution of suffici- ent sods is Cover a threepenny piece in a tablespoonful of water, should be gently dropped into the ear at night.
That should be effective. But on no account must any attempt be made to dislodge the war by a hairpin or other sharp instrument,
The best plan is to get the doctor to syringe the wax out an easy and not uncomfortable procas.
TABLE
EREBOS
SAL
CEREBOS
AL
IGHEST quality is
HIG
always closely associated with the greatest economy, as in the case of-
Cerebos
SALT
Os, dond
FRIGIDAIRE
PRODUCT OF GENERAL MOTORS
Call and inspect the New Models in our Showroom
Consider these new..
Frigidaire features
1-So incredibly quiet you don't hear it
start, stop or run.
2-Complete simplicity
plug it
into a convenient electric outlet and forget it.
3-Easily portable
anywhere.
can be moved
4-Mechanism completely concealed
5—COLD CONTROL
only on Frigidaire.
offered
DODWELL & CO., LTD.
Sole Distributors for Hong Kong and S. China. Queen's Ballding.
Tel. C. 1030,
Why is it that the Army, the Navy, and Bospital. Authorities of Great Britain and U.S.4. always specify Horlicks Malted Milk?
They know it is the original-and; found it to be standard. Always uniform-does what it claims-and everyone likes it..
It is, however, a little more expen- sive than any of the other similar- with ly-named preparations — but Horlicks, Well! it's like u Bank of England Note-worth the money.
LANE CRAWFORD'S CAFE
ALWAYS SERVE HORLICKS.
SLEEPLESSNESS
When you are too tired to sleep, when the after- effects of a day's exertions make rest impossible, take two
before retiring Genasprin tablets
to bed and in a few moments you will be fast asleep to wake in the morning fresh and fit.
Take no Risks-Take
GENASPRIN
The SAFE Brand of Aspirin
Sold by all Chemists and Stores in bottles of 35 tablets,
Genaspris is manufactured by Gonaton, Ltd., Loughborough, England, and is untorched by hand during the process of mamifacture.
SOLE AGENTS:-W. E, LOXLEY & CO. TEL, 2533.
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