74
HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
"Van Sponger claims to have 4 great following."
"Well, I think he must have-he owes everybody.'
Brown: Enpee won't let his wife have a servant."
Jones: Why " He says that no man can ever serve two masters"
Hostess: What do you think of the violinist ?"
Novelist: "He reminds me of Paderewski,"
Hostess. But Paderewski is not a violinist."
THE HONG KONG DAILY "PRESS, SATURDAY, JANUARY 4, 1930.
Teacher: Why do you insist on spelling bank with a capital B'?" Johnny: Well, Pa said a bank was no good unless it had a big capital,"
4:
Mistress: Did the ladies who called leave cards 1"
Bridget: "They wanted .to.. mum. but I told them you have plenty of your own, and better.
too.
Mather (teaching son arithmetic); "Now, take the Smith family.
There is Mummy, Daddy, and the Laby, How many does that make?" Bright Son: Two and one to
Novelist: "Neither is this gentle-earry. Than,"
"Dad," wrote the freshman whose finances were low and his stock of alibis running out, "I'm getting to be a big gun on the campus, and it costs a Git Planse send ms fifty
more.
17
"If you're such a big gun,'", the parent replied, "why don't I hear héttel reports Forget the fifty."
Parent: "Who is the laziest boy in your class. Johany?"
Johnny I don't know."
Judging by your school report, you should know. When all the other children are industriously writing or studying their lessons, who is it that sits idly in his seat and watches the rest, instead of working himself}"
"Teacher."
Long: "I am getting too stout for comfort, but am unable to find a remedy."
Short: It is said that nothing reduces, surplus flesh like worry."
me
|
But I have nothing to worry
,'
Well, just to help you out I'm willing to let you lend me a fiver.
The occasional gardener W13 working in Mr. and Mrs. New wed's garden. In the afternoon the young housewife carried to him a cup of tea and a plate of cakes,
These are home-made cakes," she explained. Take your pick, gar deher"
The toiler shook his head, "Have- n't got one with me. mum." hrs te- plied. If it's all the same to you, I'd rather have a slice of brend and jam."
A certain divine, whose belief in the efficacy of ritualism was very During the early days of the rident, when administering the trouble in the East some Britons.aerament of haptism, was always who knew little of military disci. | particular about bestowing a kiss pline, were pressed into service, upon the child at the font. Ол une occasion un infantry Colonel passed a certain barricade at which stood a sentry smoking a cigar.
"Do you know who I am?" nak ed the officer.
The
Amateur
On learning that his assistant had made the grave.omission, he pro
reded the house of the parents, who lived in the East-end. and ad dressed the child's mother, whose chief virtue was not cleanliness: I understand the holy kiss was soldier glanced agitatedly at the other's ranknot conferred by my assistant on
Sunday. It must be given now." hadges and shook his head.
"Well," ahid the woman, wiping her mouth with her apron and get ting her faer into the right atti tude. I suppose what maun be maan be."
the officer.
"I'm Colonel Blank," snapped "Good Heavens." muttered the reeruit. "Hold this cigar while I have a shot at presenting arms."
21 22
28
136
40
CROSSWORD PUZZLE,
13
44
47 48 49
150
54
57
1.-Sick.
Horizontal
4-eating device. 9. Toward the stern.
14-To unite.
13-More depressed.
14. Falsehood.
15-Body of water. 16-A flower.
17-Winter vehicle.
R
18. Undraped paintings.
20. Thus
Էր
21.-Exclamation.
93.-Through. 24.-Plunged. 28.--To mistake. 30-Secondary planet, -32-Outbreak.
04-Short slumber. 35. To turn quickly. 36.-Disparaged.. 39-Unusual. 40-Untwisted silk. 41.-To scold.
43-Plural ending. 44. Pronoun.
15-Spanish farewell,
47.-To go by. MD-War god.
51.-Landed.
54.-Small land.
55.-To think. 56-High ard,
67.-Cunning.
58.-Deeds.
58.-Writing implement.
Vertical.
1. Possessive pronoun.
2. To recline.
3. Not fat..
4-8lips.
5.-Forcheazance,
-6.-1, indebted.
7. To irritate.
8-Comparative ending.
EVARASA
10. For shame!
11. To spread for drying.
17.--Spirits
42
19.---Above. 20.The sun. 21.--Flocks.
146
10
11
230 52
56
92.-A recessed window. 24.-Subordinate.
25.-Grain recepticle. 28.-Musical piece. 97.-Feats.
20.-Repetition.
31. To make Jace
33.-British street cars, 37.-Hail!
38.-Platforms.
42.-To, leave. 45.-Solo.
16.-A blow.
47.-Dance step. 48.To be ill. 49.-Pen.
30. To mimic.
52,-A dessert.
53. A number.
55.-Belonging to.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
SNAPSHOTS OF A BOY WRITING TO SANTA CLAUS
GUYAS
GETS TO WORK ON HIS ANNUAL LETTER TO SANTA CLAUS.
AND FURTHERMORE HE HAS BEEN TELLING HIS PARENTS WHAT HE WANTS SINGE TWO WEEKS BEFORE
THANKSGIVING.
GIVES HIMSELF OVER TO PLEASANT CONTEMPLATION OF VARIOUS PACKAGES WHICH ARE HIDDEN ROUND THE HOUSE,
DOESN'T QUITE SEE WHY PARENTS ALWAYS WANT HIM TO TELL SANTA CLAUS WHAT HE WANTS FOR
CHRISTMAS.
AND FURTHERMORE THAN THAT, HE KNOWS WHAT THEY ARE GOING TO GIVE HIM.
"
BUT HO HUM, HE MUST GET ON WITH THIS LIST- PARENTS HAVE TO BE HUMORED ROUND CHRISTMAS.
SPORT AND
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
BECAUSE OF COURSE HE KNOWS ALL ABOUT THIS SANTA CLAUS BUSINESS. · ·
ANY BOY WITH EYES AND EARS COULD FIND THAT OUT, ESPECIALLY AS THE THINGS ARE IN THE HOUSE ALREADY.
DECIDES TO SET DOWN EVERYTHING HE KNOWS THEY'RE GOING TO GIVE HIM AND LET IT GO AT. THAT.
•
(Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.) FZ-12
ATHLETICS.
HÄRRIERS' RUNS.
The Old Mancunians Harriers had Winton Harriers and North
Harriers) (slow).
OLD WATER POLO RIVALS.
MISS DIANA FISHWICK. Lancashire and Middlesex will The ladies' golf championship re- vealed the fact that there are many bring the water-pole season to an
young players to take the places of the great Miss Leitch and Miss Manchester Harriers as visitors for end when they meet in London "at the Shoreditch Baths in the final Wethered, who have practically re-a friendly pack run from the Eccles for the county championship. Since tired from competitive golf. The Secondary School, Mouton Green. the institution of this competition standard of the young golters' play Trail was laid over the usual is high there is real hard straight- in 1600 it is remarkable how often
from-the-shoulder hitting. and, 6-mile trail via Worsley, and Roe the final has been a North. South what is more, accurate striking of Green, by D. R. Anderson, C. contest, and throughout this period the ball. Aliss Diana Fishwick is Knott, and D. Wright, of the home a typical example of the ability of club. There were 54 runners out, Lancashire and Middlesex have
the young school of golf. This girl, been outstanding counties. They who has already competed in senior of whom half were Old Man- net in the first year, when Lan- golf against men, has learnt how cunians, and these split up into She fast and slow packs under the cashire won 4-1. Lancashire kept to play golf matches to win. the title for eight years, their first is a stylist, but small for her leadership of H Stourton (Old defent being by Middlesex in 1904, eighteen summers, and the cannot Mancuniang) and S. H. Pilkington In all there have been 27 finais: hit the ball so far as she would (Old Mancuniane) (fast), and D. F. Smith (Old Mancunians) and like to do. Wisely she has develop- Lancashire have taken part in 22,
E. McLean (North Manchester and Middlesex have been in the lasted a marked accuracy with long stage 13 times. Lancashire have wooden or iron club shots to the been champions on 16 occasions,
green, on which she putts with the
The forty-sixth season of the seven times by beating Middlesex. most upright stance of any British The Southern county have had six golfer, and with great effect, Miss Salford Harriers was opened by a successes, ave of these being against Fishwick did not expect to win her run at Prestwich. The muster of 28 runners was divided into two Lancashire, including their last fret championship of England, and packs and trail, laid by J. R. two meetings, in 1926 and 1927. was therefore not a bit disappoint Cooper and H. E. Rothwell, cover- Lancashire are hopeful of retaining ed with her defeat in the final.ed nearly eight miles. The leaders the trophy presented for this co- She was a brave Jittle loser, and of the pack were H. Doggett and petition by Mr. W. J. Rend, the now she intends shortly to take T. Evenson (fast), who arrived well:known Blackpool solicitor, rest from competitive golf. She together afte: being out 581 when he was president of the will play in the ladies' autumn minutes. They were followed by A. Amateur Swimming Association in
foursomes at Ranelagh with Miss. Hibbert and J. W. Faulkner 1805-0. Six of the Lancastrians for Wenda Morgan, a girl about her (slow), Th. min., with J. P. Clew the final are internationals. They
own age, and also in the mixed fing and H. Platt (fast) 'next in will he represented in goal by C. S. foursomes tournament at Worples order. The trail-layers occupied Smith, the veteran Southport play: don; but after that she will give h. 12min. er, who has played for England
up the game until next spring. inare times than any other water- polo player. At fuli hack will be
COVERED COUETS DOUBLES.
Harriers turned out, from 3. Brown (Blackburn) and J. P. Taylor (Southport); while R. G. B. O. Crole-Recs and Mrs. N. Rhodes and covered a six-mile trail Hodgson, of Blackburn, who is R C. Mitchell retained their title laid by J. Fearr, B. Samuel, and J. Walsh and R. chosen as half-back, will captain the in the mixed doubles covered courts W. Williams team, and the forwards, who are championship at Queen's Clab when Wall made the pace most of the all three Manchester and District in the final they beat J. D. P. way, but they were caught by W League members,
J. A. Wheatley and Mrs. Lycett by 6-1, Rae (Lancashire mile champion) Donoghue (Harpurhey), A. Taylor 6-3. In the final of the men's and R. Forshaw near the finish. Eccles), and A Downing (Har doubles, C. C. Eames and Crole- The order of finishing was 1, W. purhey), the last named being the Rees, holders in 1926 and 1627, beat Rue; 2. R. Forshaw; 3, J. Walsh; only one who has not played in an E. C. Peters and Wheatley, 6-1, 1-4, 4. R. Wall; 3, P. Roydes; 6, B. international match.
4-6, 8-6, 7-5.
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SHOULD HUSBANDS TELL? AMERICAN WOMEN EXCITED.
Women throughout America are discussing statement of Mrs. Calvin Coolidge that when her hus band was President of the United States he did not inform her in advance of his decision not to ac cept a renomination. Mrs. Coo-
lidge says that she is proud to be
married to a man who makes his decisions without consulting her, or giving her advance information. American women are divided over the issue raised. Dorothy Dis, the best-known woman writer on feminine subjects in America, says:-
Few women who have graced the White House have ever been more admired by the women of the country than has Mrs. Coolidge, but not many wives will follow her in this Patient Griselda attitude towards a husband."
That expresses the point of view of many other women. They be lieve that the President of the United States should make a full confidante of his wife, and consult her on all important matters, giv ing her advance information about his policies.
in
The wife is as much interested
her husband's
success
28
he is, they argue, and it tends to create discord and strained re- lations when a Eusband keeps his affairs secret from his wife. Many wives do not know even what their husbands' incomes are, nor how much or how little he is worth, Any woman who accepts a man's proposal for marriage ought to have his complete confidence, say the critics of Mrs, Coolidge.
woman
Supporters of Mrs. Coolidge as serted that, although women do not intentionally gossip about their husbands' affairs, it is a matter of: experience that once a knows a secret there is always the possibility of a leak. She may ecaily drop a hint of what is go ing on, often without knowing she is doing so.
Business men and politicians say that they cannot interest their wives in the details of their affairs, Husbands in general support Mrs. Coolidge's attitude. They believe the policy of keeping the details of their business relations out of the family circle is sound. Wives are not really interested in these mat. ters. An occasional piece of in- formation handed out to the wife is suficient to keep her bappy, ac- cording to the general belief. All The wants to know actually is that she is not ignored.
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"I discovered next morning that the cries came from monks who were scourging themselves in their cells.
Sir Kynaston Studd, the former basket makers. No pottery relies the Krupp undertakings, which, Lord Mayor of London, presiding were found by the explorers and through his influence, were granted at the annual meeting of the Lonit is probable that they had not yet a virtual monopoly to supply heavy don Court Mission, at the Mansion learned the use of clay for making artillery, regardless of cost. This House, last month, declared prison their various implements. Their is the first time Wilhelm has set the ** terrible punishment." Be mud houses were built in com law in motion against the attacks
munal fashion, and in the centre since he took refuge in Holland. praised the work of the police court missionaries in saving men and of each pueblo was a large kiva,
If we can women from prison.
or ceremonial room, where all of ||
Discovery of a fragment of a pot effect the reform of the wrongdoer their many ceremonies were held.
ot red samian ware during exCAVA- by other means," said the former
tions at Moorgate, supplementing Lord Mayor, the gain is great.
Made possible through grant previous scanty information, estab. This is the police court mission's This puzzle took 22 minutes to work, and it does it very effective from the Rockefeller Foundation a liabes that in Roman London there solve. See how long it will take" Last year, he said, the magis race investigation is being under-lived a tradesman, named Lucius trates requested the missionaries to taken by the University of Hawaii, Julius Benis, who sold face-cream, you to solve it.
assist in no fewer than 17,000 cases in Honolulu. Because of the many which ho advertised by stamping in the London courts. If that races that make their home in his name on jars imported from policy was general, it must make Hawaii, the islands are regarded as Gaul.
an excellent laboratory. Some of clear the extent of the effect, mame-
the fundamental queries to be con- ly, that since 1914 no fewer than 24
unexpected difficulty has prisons in England bad been closed.sidered in this study are: What are In this connection it is announced the characteristics of the severni arisen in connection with the offer that the empty county prison of racial groups resident in the Pacific which has been made to the Federa! Ministry by Prince Takamatsu of Knutsford in Cheshire will be sold area? To what, extent are these Japan of 6000 cherry trees to be characteristics changing in Hawaii. at auction some of the buildings, as a result of environment, with planted at Canberra in recognition which will be offered in 27 lots, be different climate, food, home conhis, visit to Australia with the of the hospitality shown to him on ing over 200 years old.
ditions and other factors?
Japanese training squadron last An archæological expedition of
year. It has now been found that, the
Historical Colorado State
The ex-Kaiser has instructed a owing to the fear of the spreading Society recently uncovered in south-prominent lawyer at Berlin, Herr of fire blight, there is an embargo western Colorado an ancient city Bloch, to institute proceedings for against the importation to Austre- or pueblo built by prehistoris tribes alleged criminal libel against the lia of auch trees. The position is probably 1200 to 1500 years ago. editor of the Morgenpost, for renow being investigated. The Prime The builders of this latest discover-viving an old-story that he enrich-Minister (Ma Scullin) has alreadyed many times in the night by the one step, is it nott' el pueblo are believed by fes bimit by investing mula of his mate Trira Takmuatan of Die wund of GET cheologists to have been the ancient private fortune before the war. In acceptance of the offer.
(Continued on next Column.)
EDGA
RTALYE FACE TURES MEA
MAR RXKINDLE DYZNA B70 BED
ER
An
FOR 900 YEARS.
Maryse Choisy, a fascinating young French authoress, has suc ceeded in penetrating Mount Athos, the ancient Byzantine monastic community-the first woman to do
so since 1045.
"Unwashed Monka." "The monks were mostly unwash- ed, the streets were dirty, the food and lodgings were bad, and the monasteries seemed to me to be sadly needing a woman's hand.
"The one exception was the Greek
Vatopedi, monastery at where the monks have installed an electric light plant, American sew- There are 8,000 monks in Mounting machines, adopted the Gre Athos Greeks, Russians, but no
gorien calendar, and the food" in woman has ever been allowed there.
the guest houses is remarkable. Miss Choisy was smuggled into
"I talked, with one old monk the community inside a mattress, there, and asked him why, as they and, once inside, she put on man's had adopted modern improvements, clothes and played the part of a they did not include chickens.
If we had chickens,' he told. valet to an Italian.
"I slept the first night.in a small
me, we should then be asked to cell in the Russian monastery of permit female eats, a female goat, St. Andre," she stated. It was
or even a female donkey, From a gone too, clean, and I was awaken- female donkey to a woman is only
then 1
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