HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
She considers herself a mest ox- clusive person."
Benevolent Lady (to newly mar- ried charwoman); And so you are
Exclusive! My dear, the erea-married now, Lydia. I hope your ture even sings duets alone!"
Mother I wouldn't punish Tommy-this-tiine, Robert Wait ti he does it again."
Father: do it again ↑
But suppose he doesn't
The Mistress: Mary, nobody scems to like this new dress of mine. Do you want it!"
The Maid: "No, thanks, ma'am, any Busband doesn't like it, either,"
Father, teacher says money does not bring happiness," said young Abie."
i
i
husband is a good provider."
The Bride:That he is, mun He got me three new places to wash at last week."
HübbyWell, darling." I ran that errand for your to day. I bought the towels and took them to a to have the question unstress marks sewed on.".
Surprised Wife: "What on earth did you think asked you to buy?" Hubby: You told me to buy a doten guess towels, of course,
A Salvationist went to visit an old Scotch lady, and after the Itual talk he read to her from a
"Der teacher vas quite right, is the interest on the money that brings happiness."
The road show was playing a poor
kowa.
"Arg we alone" hissed the villain.
Almost." rejoined his partner, Jcoking sadly ar the rows of empty seats.
་'---
לוי
He lighted up, saying: "I al ways think when I light ny pipe of the schoolboy statement that Sir Walter Raleigh, introduced tobacen into England, saying, when be had his last smoke, We have this day lighted a fire in England such as by God's grace will never be ex-
tinguished."
A member of the club drew the pro.'s attention to a certain lady
yodern translation of the New Tstmaent.
1 The old lady listened attentively. to the end, nil then she said: "Eb. that's fine! And noo, wad ye read ne a wee big frae, the Word o' God??
The barrister was cross-examining a witnesa in a case where her (the witness's) husband was charged with robbery,
"You knew this man was a thisi when you married him?"
"I did."
him
Then why did you marry My mother gave me the choice of a thief or a lawyer,.so "I már- ried the thief."
The cross-examination ended.
Mcfeergus had given the commer-
town
upon the links who "was certain einl traveller many good orders an very beautiful, but whose comple-behalf of his Arm. The xion obviously owed something to traveller though the circumstances the paint-box. "Ou, nye," said the
warranted a small gift to Me pro.."he's all right, sir-r, But I'm thinkin' a thunder-r-stor-rmegus, of McMeanus and Co. Would you care for, a box of would mak' an awfu' hash of her." Corona cigars?" he asked MeFeer
j.
The young farmers were boasting') about the site of the vegetables they had grown. Finnily, one of them turned to Uncle Seth:
"What was the biggest thing you raised this year. Uncle Seth 1
"A squash."
"Well, how big was it?!
We never measured it." drawled Uncle Seth, but we used the seeds for snowshoes,"
14
16
22
Kus.
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, SATURDAY, DECEMBER 7, 1929.
THE MINUTE THAT SEEMS A YEAR,
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
TRYING TO MAKE IT PLAIN THAT YOU ARE PERFECTLY SOBER WHEN
YOU START UP THE AISLE TO GET A PROGRAM
AND FIND THAT YOUR LEG HAS GONE
TO SLEEP
#nyright, 1929, by The Rett Syndicate, Inc.)
SPORT AND
HOW NASH USED HIS TIME. The final report of the coaching scheme carried out by the Latchs- hire County Lawn Tenais Associa tion shows that R. A. Nash, the "Naw: I wouldna tak
A Pre-professional, put in nearly 100 sent. It would be bribery an' cor: hours at the Northern Club train ruation."
The traveller saw at a glance ing players who had been selected
McFeergus that
was struggling by the committee. Sixteen women, with his desire. "Give me sixpence and la men were
conthed, each for the box of cigars," he exclaim
d. McFeergus drew a shilling from his pocket and replied: Aweel, then, I'll tak twa boxes at the same price."
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
13 14
119
123
15
112
24
113
116
7
25
X
$25
31
29
34
38
39
142
+46
147
50
Horizontal.
1-Majestie.
6. To take oath.
11.-Snappy answer.
13.--Decorous.
14.-Toward a higher place.
15.-Tired,
17.-Behold.
18-Flying maminal.
20. To inflict, as vengeance.
21.-Vessel.
22.-Father.
24.-Male sheep.
25.-Rules.
28-Moved quickly.
28.-Chums.
22.-Empty.
30.-Opera star.
31.-Counsel.
32-European country.
-Shoes bottom.
35,-Meet.
36.-Individual.
39.-Existed.
30.- Ointment.
41. To take court action..
42-Part of to be.
43.-Forces.
45.--Prefix down.
46.-Refutes.
48.-Inclined...
50-Woody plants.
55
35
32
51.-Pertaining to European coun-
try.
Vertical.
143
40
51
144
16. To peruse.. 10-Tours.
15
21-Splendid buildings. 23-To wear away.
25Washes,
27-Cravat.
28.-Pastry.
30.-Flocka. 31.-Wanderer. 32-To swallow eagerly. 33 Eradesm 34.-Black.
35.-Obstructions. 37.-Provides food for 3. Drunkards.
40.-Old Cloth measures. 43.-Billiard stick. 44.-To plant,
4.--To exist.
49.-Jumbled type.
you to solve it,
137
GWYAS WILLAMS
ATHLETICS.
'FIDEL LA BARBA BEATEN IN . PARIS.
In the twelve round fight between Fidel la the Italian-American Barba and the Italian Kid Francis out and neither boxer went all there were frequent demonstrations from the crowd. who urged the boxers to put some life into their work. Francis was behind our player having on an average four points at the beginning of the half hours individual lessons, two fourth: round, La Barba having one-hour singles tuition with an scored with lelts" to the head and Francis other player, and two hours doul right jabs to the body. les practice under the supervision began the fifth with a smart body of Nash. The following players have been specially mentioned: blow, liut La Barba replied with Miss Bullcek (Manchester and Dis- two smashing upper cuts. Francis trict Parks), Miss Dychoff (Wes-in the sixth fought his man with tern Club. Pendleton), Mia J. R. Pollitt (Northern) "Miss C 3. both hands, but La Barba levélled Sankey (Northern), Miss D, Wilmatters in the seventh, and in the cocks (Northern), Miss M. McDon-cighth drove his man to the ropes, ald (Charltonville), Miss. Max-but Francis fought brilliantly on well (Heaton Mersey), Miss K. M., Mallett (Western, Pendleton), Miss the retreat. Both men slackened M. Mallett (Markland Hill, Bol in the ninth round, but Francis, ton), Miss F. Fisher-Lyon (Chor using his left lightly but skilfully tonville), and Miss E. S. Hamp soa (Cheetham Hill), Neville Mel- in the three succeeding rounds, did land (Northern), E. B. Walker enough to earn a verdict which was (Markland Hill Club, Bolton), S. acclaimed uproariously, E. Rocca (Northern), D. P. Evans (Northern), A Harrison (Manches- fer and District Paks,) and N. Windle (Manchester YM.C.A.),
A VERSATILE TEAM. The Racing Club de France, one of the foremost of the French sport ing clubs, is considering an invita- tion to tour Egypt with a term
that will meet the best Egyptian teams at Rugby football, swin- ming, athletics, boxing, lawn ten- nis, fencing, and billiards.
24 GOALS IN LADIES! MATCH.
PUBLIC SCHOOLS FOURSOMES. Winchester, represented by Cap- tain A H. Hornby and Captain G. E. Hawkins, won the public schools bogey foursomes competition at Camberley Heath with two down for 36 beles. Aldenham (T. E. B. Reid and R. L. Mansell) were se cond with four down; Malvern (G. N. Foster and C. Illingworth) third with seven down, and Chel tenham (Captain W. H. H. Aitken and D. S. Redman), the holders; next with eight down. '
WEIGHT-LIFTING RECORDS.
Two world's records and a Bri
tish record were set up at the Bri tish Amateur Weight Lifting As- sociation meeting at Camberwell. Thomas Inch lifted 2761b" with two dumb-bells, and W. Pullen made another world's record with 80gb. (Roman column). The British re- cord was by F. Danjels, who with a two-handed jerk from behind the neck lifted 260lb.
WORCESTER AMATEURS WIN.
Although Warwickshire amateura
At Fallowfield Mersey Liver-won the singles by seven matches to five again Worcestershire amateurs pool ladies defeated Manchester
at Blackwell, near Birmingham, University, ladies by 14 goals to 10. they lost the match by ten matches Scorers for the Mersey were Miss to eight, as Worcestershire had Phillip (3). Miss Torry (4), Miss won the foursomes, played earlier. Brundrett (2), and Miss Baty; for in the day, by five matches to one. the University Miss Kerr (3), Miss
In the leading single match C. S. Knight (3) Miss Stirling (2), and Miss Mills (2).
"}
Buckley, the old Aston Villa foot- baller, was beaten by H. Hall (Warwickshire) two up.
MAINLY FOR The men.
An
STAR
Mary
Pickford
LOVE
"MY
BEST
THRILLS GIRL
SIGHS-
LOTS OF
LAUGHTER
KATHLEEN NORRIS
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
At 2.30, 5.30 & 9.20.
INTIMATIONS.
"PEAK MANSIONS," SITUATED within Two Minutes" Walk from the Tram Station and overlooking the Southern Side of the Island. Heady for Occupation.
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CREDIT FONCLER D'EXTREME-ORIENT, 4TH FLOOR, French Baax BUILDING,
IF I WERE NOT A
KING-
ALFONSO OF SPAIN WOULD BE A MECHANIC.
EXAMPLE OF THE PRINCE
OF WALES.
King Alfonso, who was proclaimi ed King of Spain the day he was horn forty-four years ago, has re- vealed to a Press correspondent. his ideas of the function of a king.
Ile had just stepped out of his racing motor-car, in which he had travelled from Irtin, in northern Spain..
he said. I would be working in "If I had not been born a'king,"
some large motor-car factory.
"If it could be done, I would like to follow the example of Peter the Great, the Ruseian Tsar who travelled incognito all over Europe and who did not shrink from taking jobs in Dutch and English ahip- yards and factories just to become acquainted with the latest develop ments in shipbuilding and manu- facturing. It is a good thing, too, for a king.
My idea of the kingship is that the monarch must set the example.
The idea that a king is a man who lives in a beautiful house sur rounded by silk-dressed valets and plumed lackeys, fine soldiers, and such sort of people-a kind of touch-me-not-is antiquated.
"A Worker."
"The King is a worker, just like the majority of his people. I am a worker. I was born a monarch, not because I chose it. I have to do my job just like any other man, "I was in England recently, and noticed the Prince of Wales occu- pied every day with the unemploy. ment question, and doing his best to help find a solution of the min- ing situation in Britain.
At a meeting in London of the London bridge circles are scand- | actual physical injury. Many jolly alised at the thought that the fair evenings in the local bridge club will National Association of Outfitters, name of their favourite game has now be ruined by the ever present Leen besmirched by the woman in fear that that odious Mrs Stag the chairman (Mr. E. W. Collett) Kansas City who shot ber husband bottle, who never could distinguish said he had been asked whether drad because she disapproved of the between a Jack and a King, will they could do anything to remove way in which he had played his auddenly produce a machine-gur the anomaly of evening dress for guests being identical with that hand. The opinion among the ex- from her ample figure and turn the
for waiters. Whenever there was a perts of the game is that, although room into a battlefield. no doubt it often tiresome to be
change in evening dress fashions the waiter immediately adopted it tet down by one's partner, there is
In a book just published, the dar and it was a serious thing from a Beldom real justification for the use !
dress point of view that guests of a revolver. A suggestion by ang author laye.it down that men
are bigger gossips than women, but could not be distingulished from wspaper representative to the secretary of Crockford's, the London apiteful and more boring. That those who served them. He had is a well-considered judgment and a
having been caught" himself, bridge and poker club, that it might sound one. The gossip of the club
greeted the attendant who put out prove necessary in future for bridge room, in volume far greater than
his hand for his bat and cost as This puzzle took 10 minues to clubs to have their members search that of a whole suburb of ten tables, someque he thought was ac. solve, See how long it will taka ed for fire-arms was indignantly is in a way impersonal and con
Не thought they refuted.
quaintance. It may be the fashion in tributed as a matter of history should confer with other associa the Wild West to go to the card Therefore it is rarely malicious. table armed to the teeth" he said, Therefore it lacks sparkle. There- tions in an attempt to secure a distinctive dress for waiters. "but here such a thing is unthink-
fore it becomes as feminine chatter Councillor Tom Ball remarked uble... besides, it would give about dress. club a bad name." "What would
that although they were all dressed alike the waiters were all waiters, you do," he was neked, "if some one trumped his partner's ace and Some 4,000 divorce cases are like- but the gentlemen were not always was promptly shot for it?" "Ily to be heard during the coming gentlemen. He agreed that some should send for the police," he re legal year. The four main causes distinction in dress was desirable, plied. There is little fear felt for this increase, are the suppres- but emphasised that they did not
There are always plenty of among leading bridge players, be- sion of publicity, more liberal want social distinction. It was cause, of course, they would rather laws, cheaper costs, and the ex- rather to avoid the contretemps of people who will occupy themselves with diplomacy and foreign rela shoot themselves than play the tension of divorco facilities and guests being mistaken for waiters. wrong card, but what of the thou- procedure to the provinces. Some Mr. Leonard Lyle suggested that tions, and make it their speciality. I am inclined to leave them a free distinctive type of waistcoat sands of mediocre players who love would add a fifth cause-that the
Απ hand, although my job, of course, a game of bridge but are totally un-standards of home life are hot might meet the difficulty. able to remember how many trumps what they were. Very largely other member thought races jackets brings me also in close contact with.
matters of state. have-been-played or whether it is it is because more is expected from raight be worn by waiters. On the
But my inelinations--are to better to lead from a red or black both parties to the marriage com proposal of the secretary (Cap-" suit? They have always been pre-pact because, in other "words,tain J. Russell Pickering) it was wards industry and the develop pack foabend.apelicandyblack standarde Art
and not agreed to Ack the I Hotel Propriement of Spain. And. speaking as looks from their partners, but so far lower that divorces are mor Tre for Association to co-operate with a raverting Hai have had no cause to be afraid of i quent.
the outfitters in finding a solution., are doing fine work in Epain."
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION,
No. 1482
20033-STAND
HAROON BONDED STAY ATZ C2078, 311 FO: ZIE
30
PLA
NEE
1.-Larvae.
2-Paid back
a-Alongside.
TR
4. At this time
-Sketched.
SZ
6.To hunt.
7. To marry.
OF
BU BIBER: 1079
10. Hindu peasants.
BIRED DADRE
A-Tynė measure
i. 9.—Lets,
19.-Blackened..
If the Prince of Wales is en. titled to speak on industrial ques tions, it is, because he has studied. the matter. from the ground up, and knows so much about the ordi nary things of life.
QUEEN'S
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MARY PICKFORD
on the screen in Her
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Mary Pickford
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FOX MOVIETONE NEWS
SERGEI STUPIN CELEBRATED RUSSIAN CELLIST.
LOIS MORAN
*
IN AND AS "BELLE of SAMOA."
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY At 2.30, 5.10. 7.159.20.
WORLD
THE RETURN
OF A
GREAT FILM!
DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS
IN
THE MARK
OF ZORRO
FINAL SHOWINGS - TO-DAY
·At 2.30 & 7.15 — Interpreter. At 5.159.15-Full Orchestra.
Theatre Royal
Becember 14, 16, 17,
18, 19, 20, 23, At 9.15 P.M.
MATINEE:
Wednesday, Dec. 18th, At 4.30 P.M (Children Half Price)
THE GEISHA
Booking at Anderson's
Bo
ON SALE.
>OUND VOLUMES of the WEEKLY SONG HONG PRESS January to June, 1929.
WITH INDEX, PRIDE-$7,50,
decalstha:Rase-law Rani
Parsa OFFICE.
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