HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Motor Cyclist: "Do you know anything about an aeroplane which dropped near here?"
Urchin (with catapult, trembl- ing); "No, sir; I've only been shootin' at sparrers."
Teacher: boy t
Small Boy Teacher:
What's your name,
Thomas Trotter." Why don't you say Small Boy: "Sir Thomas Trot- ter."
'sirt"
Mrs. Brown: "Oh, Mrs. Jones, I'm in such trouble. ay hitlo Willie's got lost."
Mrs. Jones: "Well, well; it'll be
THE HONG KONG "DAILY PRESS, TUESDAY, NOVEMBER 5, 1929.
In fact, little lady," the emin- ent doctor concluded, paternally, "you are not at all well." The sweet little Society flapper tearful- ly agree. Our nerves are entire ly wrong" added the eminent one. "and our stomach is seriously out of order. In fact, we shall have to diet."
The poor child's big blue eyes Alled to their brim. W-w-what- colour, doster?" she asked, anxi ously.
K
Bill Blathers lived in a two-stori- ed house at the back. of Joe Sla ther's place. Joe had missed a lot of poultry lately, and decided to keep watch on his neighbour.
Early one morning, seeing his prize Brahma being hauled up the
alright. Everyone in the neighbor-wall on the end of a fishing line, hood knows him.".
Mrs. Brown: "Oh, nobody' know him to-day, because I've just washed him!"
Guest (to unknown man by his This is a arent society side):
event,
Unknown Man: "Indeed your are right. One of the most fashion- able weddings held in this Town." "None but the very best people
here."
That's so. They are very e- lect."
"Are you a relative of the par- ties"
Not at all I am a detective watching that none of the guests steal the wedding presents,”
he called out :-
Hey, Blathers, 'isn't that my rooster you've got there"
It all depends," said Blathers. "What do you mean roared Joe Depends on what 7"
On the string. Blathers coolly
replied.
"
She had just paid her rates and was in anything but a happy mood when she entered the tramear on
her way home. When the condue tor came for her fare, she "looked sourly at him.
How much do you get a week!" she asked him. The conductor told her.
No wonder the rates are high,'
when they pay you she snapped, all that money for just running up those steps."
"They don't, mum," retorted the
A small boy was dragging a wret-conductor: "we get half of it for ched dog through the streets, when a boy said:
"Why don't yer kill that dorg?". "Why? Cause 'e's worth & fór- tune. Me" muvver gave me a bob to drown 'im, a man gave me two bob for not drownin' 'im, an' new I'm lookin' for the bloke that 11 give me 'arf-a-crown to do some- thin' else!"
The wife of a riotous citizen wait. ed one pay night for her husband till 10 o'clock, and then went along to the police station to see if he were there.
No, mum. he ain't here," said the inspector; but sit down and wait, we're expecting him" any minute.
|
running down,."
"A gaudily-dressed tennis player. stood on the pavement outside his club glancing anxiously at his wristwatch and scanning the road for the sign of a taxi. A few mo- mente later an urchin pushing a dilapidated wheel-barrow, passed along the street.
"I any, my boy," said the ten- nis player, just run to the top of the street and fetch me a taxi,| will you 1**
The boy winked shrewdly. "No fear," he said "I know your art When my back was turn. ed, you'd nip off with my barrow."
·CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
Horizontal.
1.Prince of demons. -Domestic animal.
11. To dedicate.
12-Very warm. 14.-Ireland.
13-Spine, 17-Musical note.
18.-To free.
19-Rear of vessel. 20.-Bed
21-Mother.
-Sortie. 23-Foundation. 24-Charged," 28-Central parts. 27-Inspired fear. 29. Painful, 29---Yields. 31-Deprives 34-To state "35-Small fruits. 36-Exclamation
31.-To enclose.
38-Cleaning materials. 39.Moisture.
-40. Half an em
41.-Disposition to deceive. 42-Clamp. 43-To go back. 46.-Wrecked. 47-Rounded roofs. 48.Gaiters.
Vertical.
1. Continued story. 2.-Kernly desirous, 3-A weight.
4-By.
5.--Angered.
-Tale.
7--Musical instrument.
8-Sea eagle.
9.-Comparative ending.
10.-Hairy, 11.-The skin.
13-Tropical Fruits, 16-Restrained. 10.-Wise men.
20. Is interested.
-Drain.
93.-Tiresome persons
25.-Loaded.
96,-Lalets.
29-5mirks,
29.-To perform antics, 20-Levelled.
31-Clock face.... 32.-Essays. 33-Cut through.
35.-Cuts of meat.
38.-Certain.
39.-Efficacy.
41-A chewing substance. 42-By way of
44,-Toward.
18.-Above.
This puzzle took 24 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
1490
212.17 OHARS
DEUIDEBEBIED FI" S04E2003 DE 130 1811 OMII MOOD 20128. ACE 21742 2127
ER
SERE LOEW 20. 730A ZRACE A6A9CES OVAL BANG. OLTS, EN
PA
DIGREE")
DOMED LE ODD
SNAPSHOTS OF A BOY STARTING FOR BED
CUYYRS WILLIAMS
4
IS READING EX- CITING BOOK. GLANCES AT CLOCK AND SEES IT'S BED TIME.
HOPES NO ONE WILL NOTICE.MAKES HIM SELF AS INCONSPIC- UOUS AS POSSIBLE.
MOTHER REPEATS. ASKS OH GOLLY.CANT HE JUST FINISH THE CHAPTER, IT'S SHORT, AT LEAST HE THINKS IT IS.
SPORT
CURTIS MORGAN'S GREAT
FIGHT.
ON LOOKING IT UP FINDS THERE ARE SIXTEEN MORE PAGES BEFORE END OF CHAPTER.
WITH SINKING HEART HEARS MOTHER SAY MECHANICALLY *BEDTIME JUNIOR®
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
ASKS WELL CÄNT" HE JUST FINISH THE PAGE, LOOK HE ONLY HAS THAT MUCH MORE TO READ.
PRETENDS NOT TO "HEAR HOPING SHE
WILL FORGET ABOUT ST..
SIGHS ALL RIGHT. GOOD NIGHT, AND FINISHES PARAGRAPH WHILE GETTING UP OUT OF CHAIR.
10-10 (Copyright, 1929, by The Bel Syndicate, Inc.)
AND
ATHLETICS.
HIGH SEAS SPOIL FISHING.
Heavy seas running off Folkes- tone interfered considerably with the second day of the boat com- petition of the Folkestone Sea Angling Festival, and the day's catch only amounted to 46lbs 2jora.. as compared with 6831ba. 3ozs. on the previous day.
GREAT BRITAIN AND ENGLAND
TEAMS,
England defeated Ireland in the second of the international golf matches between the two countries by nine points to six at St. Annes- on, Sea. England's team was com- posed almost entirely of members of the younger school, while the Irish. men included many old players W. Sutton, the West Cheshire artizan holder of the English close amateur, title and J. B. Beddard won the leading foursomes match from Ma- for O. Hezlet and T. W. John- ston, and the home team were vic- The heaviest catch was only torious in this series by three games Gli Oloza., taken by Mr. At to two. In the singles Ireland were E. Brooks, of Sooning Hill, Berkbeaten by five games to three, with ahire. The best bag was Mr. R. two matches halved. Here again
England
secured the leading
C. H. Kingsley easily defeated Captain V. M. H. Cox in the first round of the men's singles of the West Side Country Club lawn ten- nis tournament at Ealing by 0-1, 6-1, -but-W. E. T. Cole, could only dispose of N. G. Deel by 6-0, 0-6, 7. R. Miki, the Japanese, had n narrow escape, He made a remark- able recovery in the final set to beat W, G. Curtis Morgan by 5-7, 6-3, 8-6. Among others successful were G. M. Sherwell, E. R. Avory, A. C. Crossley, F. J. Perry, and H. G. N. Cooper. There was a great sur- prise in the women's singles, Miss D. E. Round being beaten by Mrs. V. Barringer by 6-3, 2-8, 8-9 in the first round. Mrs. Barringer's. Suckling's, London, 41lbs. 4ots.
Some of the competitors, who numbered seventy, attempted to go out to the fishing ground in the open water, but were driven back by the stormy conditions, The wind reached almost gale force during the day,
3
COMMENCING TO-MORROW
AL
JOLSON
IN
"THE SINGING FOOL
BUSTER
AT THE
BOOK YOUR SEATS EARLY
KEATON
in
A
BUSTER TURNS THE CRANK ON "MORE LAUGHS
THAN SWISS
CHEESE HAS
HOLES
Menn Goldwyn-Maye
PICTURE
IT'S A HOWLI
QUEEN'S
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
At 2.30, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
STAR
TIM MCCOY
IN
BEYOND THE SIERRAS
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW AT 5.30 ONLY.
WORLD
GLORIA SWANSON
IN
SADIE THOMPSON
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW-Continuous 1.15 to 11.15.
STAR THEATRE SEE!
HARRY BELL
presents the
1
steadiness from the baseline wor. Mr. R. J. Moxon, Broadstairs, match, J. A Stout, the Bridlington RUTH VAN VALEY
ried the younger player. Miss Mary Heeley defeated Miss L. M. Bremner by 6-4, 5-7, 8--22
LLOYDS BANK BEAT R.A.F. Lloyds Bank beat the Royal Air Force io a swimming contest at Lamueth Baths by three events to none. C. A, Puzey won the 44 yards, L. Savage the 88 yards, and the Bank also took the team race.
Miss L. Ives (Lloyds) retained the women's diving championship of the London banks with 53 points. Miss M. Edwards (Hambros), 45
points, was second.
GOLLINS PROGRESSING.
James Collins, the West Ham right half-back, who underwent an operation on his damaged knee is stated to be progressing favourably. He will not be able to play again, however, for about two months.
with 3lbs 124ors, and Mr. J. L. Davies, St. Leonards, with 3lbs, 11fezs, had the next best weight.
The heavicat fish taken was a albs 15oza. conger, falling to the line of Mr. A. E. Brooks, City of Leadon Piscatorials; a catch of 30zs. took the prize for the best hag of whiting, while for flat fish a catch only turning the scales t 4lozs. was auficient to take the prize.
Mrs. Exton, of Dover, was the most successful lady competitor, her catch totalling lib. 12łoza.
PETERBOROUGH'S, WINDFALL.
Peterborough, the Southern Len- gue club, who lost £548 last season, have a welcome £100 to come from Raith Rovers in connection with the transfer of Braton, now that he has been passed Co to Blackburn Rovers
dentist, beating Major Hezlet, holder of the Irish open amateur championship, ly.4 and 2.
* HORACE LEE'S INJURY. "Horace Lee, the clever Coventry three-quarter, who was injured in the match against Guy's Hospital | was examined later and it was found he had broken the lateral ligament in his left knee. He will probably be out of the game for al considerable time.
Lee has played in two internn: tional trials, and been reserve in three internationals.
FRENCH OLUB SUSPENDED.
Quillan Rugby Club, which holds the championship of France, has been suspended from taking part in the Quillan district champion- ship competition because of ques tions raised concerning the status of certain of the players.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
WAR ON WIZARDS....
WHITE MAN'S GRAVE AS BATTLEGROUND.
More British women are going out to the Gold Coast-formerly known as the "White Man's Grave"-to fight witch doctors.
They are highly qualified doctors employed by the Government, which has realised that native women are
BAGPIPES IN THE BALLROOM.
IN HONOUR OF THE DUCHESS.
The bagpipes will be more popu- Jar than the wildest jazz band in fashionable ballrooms this winter. The Duchess of York loves danc ing. She is particularly fond of (Continued on next Column).
The Gold Coast has always been considered unit for white women, but these women doctors, nurses, and teachers go out alone to work among the natives.
Lady Gagguberg's Part.
It was a woman, Lady Guggis; berg, the wife of a former Gover- nor of the Gold Coast, who urged the advisability of sending British women doctors out there, and help ed to overcome the initial difficul ties and objections.
more likely to boycott the harmful Now more women doctors are ap witch doctors if they are offered pointed by the Colonial Office to! women doctors in exchange than West Africa then to all. our other if they are offered, men doctors.. !colonies and protectorates.
The Government's study of psy-Two of the latest to go are Miss chology is correct. The women C. D. Williams and Miss B. A. S. doctors have to fight every inch of Russell. also to the Gold Coast,, the way, but they are gradually winning, and excellent reports of their activities are being sent to the Colonial Office,
(Continued on next (olumn).
The salary of these women starts at 1600 a year, and the posts carry the right of promotion to higher raaks with salaries of £2,000 a year and upwards.
Scottish dances such as the eight- some reel, and in order that the Duchess shall have as much oppor- tunity as possible of, enjoying these Scottish dances many keen dancers are practising the Highland steps. "The revival of the eightsome, the Scottish real," and some old Scottish country dances, which is being, keenly watched in dancing circles at present," said Miss Belle Harding, the distinguished teacher of dancing has been made partly in honour of the Duchess of York.
Now Spirit.
REVUE
RUTH VAN VALEY
AMERICA'S PREMIER DANSKUSE
ROSE LEE MACK SENNETT BATHING BEAUTY
THE FORMER PARTNER OF CHARLIE CHAPLIN REX STOREY
(WOBLE-FAMOUS MARIONETTES||
"MANTELL'S MANIKINS
Booking at Montrie's and the Star Theatre.
Prices: $3, $2, $1.
„VISCOUNTESS PAYS 1014. IN £
FAILURE OF TEA SHOP VENTURE.
It was recently announced in the London Gazette that a first and final dividend' of 101d. in the was paid in connection with the affairs of Norah Elzabeth Ursula Viscous- "It is also hoped that they will tese Torrington, of Elmsleigh, St. help to create a new spirit of soci- Columb, Cornwall, lately carrying ability, among dancers. All dan on business as a restaurant pro cers, except, perhaps, the most prietor at High Cross. Truro, and youthful, are suffering somewhat Belmont-place, Newquay.
one-partner-all-through- the-dance idea. Hostesses think count's second wife, opened a tea
· Lady Torrington; who is the vis- that it is time that introductions shop at Newquay last year, Suba were made more frequently...
from the
quently she formed a limited com- Waltzes are likely to be extro-pany to conduct a similar business mely popular, especially, I think, at Truro, with herself as managing the skating waltz The dancers in director. this take up a skating position and the dance includes a glide, a slide, and crossed feet.
nation at Truro last May that she
She stated at her public exumi- |
The six-eight executed to quick to her by her husband. She had started in Newquay with £55 given time is also to be a great favourite.
It is easily leamed, and the danost 20 weekly, and her deficiency cera can introduce their own move- was £1.320.
menta
The Ancient Order of Fox- Trotters, which exists. to preserve slow foxtrotting is working hard to keep the original fox-trot in the ballroom, and will. I think, suc- eted."
Woman at Shoreditch: She not only scandalises me from door to door in our street, but in the pub lie house at which I am a regular customer i
HONG KONGS FIRST TALKIE-
HEAR!
POPULAR SONG HITS
AL JOLSON
IN
THE
SINGING FOOL
at the
QUEEN'S commencing WEDNESDAY, NOV. 6th
for 5 DAYS only
ALSO
SEE & HEAR
THE NEWS OF THE DAY
FOX MOVIETONE NEWS
THERE'S A "LONG, LONG TRAIL
Bugs, Fleas, Flies, Beetles, Mosquitoes,
ctc.,
all killed by
KEATING'S
BUITINE
SCADE
Court: I would not have dreamed Young woman, at Bow County of swearing at him; why, he's an old man.
A woman filling in a form in or- der to take out a summons against another woIDED, County Court, entered in the at Marylebone
column bended "Description" the words:" Short and stout.'
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