HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
* Would you marry a man to ro- form him
"
"I suppose I shall have There isn't one of them suits Just as he is." .
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, NOVEMBER 4, 1929.
"But why do you write so much?"
to."I am an author-I write novels." me
That inan I introduced to you yesterday tells me that he is a col- lege-bred maa.
Yes, he was the college baker when I got my degree."
Little Luey (coming her next door wighbor's house): Hello, Mrs Jones, how are you. How did you and Mr. Jones enjoy your holi. day.
Mrs. Jones (quite surprised): "Holiday my dear? What holi- day 1"
Little Lucy: Why, mother told me that you and Mr. Jones wero at loggerbeads."
"THE CAMERA MAN.'
BUSTER KEATON AT HIS
BEST.
"Fancy taking all that trouble when you can buy a novel for six- peace
She: "Get up and beat those rugs. You've done nothin' all day but dose in that chair."
He: "I know it, but I've been
dreaming I was shovelling coal, an' it's clean done me up.
The kind visitor to the lunatic sylum watched the angler patient ly fishing with a walking-stick held "How over over a watering can. many have you caught?" asked the sympathetically. The stranger. luantic regarded him shrewdly.
"You're the fourth," he said.
pression, without ever letting that "suggestion become a burlesque, is quite extraordinarily amusing. AI through the Slm is good and there are other moments when it becomes very good indeed.. Only "in one episode did Keaton seem to fall into that common temptation of comed
EXCELLENT COMEDY AT THE ans, from which Chaplin is by no
QUEEN'S.
[BY OUR FILM CRITIO]
means proof, of continuing one "stunt
too long. I refer to the scene in the dressing room, and even there the finale is so good that you forget that a moment before you were in danger of being bored.
Marceliner Day, plays the heroine in adequate and quite charming manner and the rest of the easto do all that is required of them. “The Camera Man" is a picture to see not only once but several times il you are a lover of real comedy.
.
Buster Keaton bus scored another big success in The Camera Man " which you should see to-day or to- morrow at the Queen's. It is not perhaps as good all through as was his last big picture of which un- fortunately I cannot recall the title. You will remember, probably, that astonishingly clever scene in which he emptied a flooded engine roomRUTH VAN VALEY REVUE. with portentous solemnity in the most unpractical manner possible. But there are episodes in The Camera Man" in which Kenton aurpasses anything he has done and takes rank besides that most skilful of comedians, Charlie Chaplin Even Chaplin bas never bettered some of the moments in the swim ming pool, and I am not quite sure that he has even equalled them. The mggestion of the faithful though rather blundering dog which Kenton gets in action and ex- Singapore.
The Ruth Van Valey Company will arrive today by the s.. Tanda and will open their season to-night at the Star Theatre. The booking has all indications of good houses during their stay. Mise Ruth Van Valey who arrived in the Colony on Friday will make her appest. auce with the Company to-night New nets wilt he offered at each, performance. The Company after its season here will leave for"
·CROSSWORD - PUZZLE.
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Horizontal.
1.- dish. 4-Supposing that.
6. Converses.
11.-An alloy. 13.-Depended.. 15.-1-1414
16-Parts of year.. 15.-Pronoun. 10.-Therefore. 21-A continent. 92.-To leave,
24. To move along, 26-Makes Ince. 28.-Consumed.
41
20. To become of use. 31.-Aspect.
33-Comparative ending.
34.-Withered. 36-Again.
38.-Prefix: again. 40.-To fade.
42.-To follow by tracks.
45.-Wing-like part. 47.-Observes.
48-Elliptical. 50.-A loud noise.
52.-Domestic animais.
'64.---Printer's" measure.
55.-Pronoun.
B6. To beg
59. Father.
01-College hözour..
63,-Ran away.
05.-Having rounded root
8a-French article. €7.-Unusual
Vertical,
1.-Explosive noise.
Gotten up.
3.-Negative. 4.-Thought, 5.-Banquet,
B-Part of Jugo Stavia.
7.-A bird.g 8.-Too.
9-Musical nota. 10.-Descendant of Shem. 12-Exists.
མ་
14. To halt..
पु
57
17-Asiatic country.. 20.-Burden.
93,-Mother
24.-Pronoun..
5.-Hauled.
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CD-Goddess of discord. 32-Roman emperor. 36.--Chosen by Gallot. 37-Undulation. 38.-Mad. 30.-Cheered up. 41.-To rip.
43-Abided temporarily. 44.-Spanish article. 46.-Article.
48.-Hard metal.
51.-Microbe.
53.-Transaction.
57.-By birth.
Co.-To unite.
58.-Part of infinitive.
62-To leave.
64-European river.
SUBURBAN BRIDGE
SAYS HE FEELS LIKE
CALLS UP THE PER
PLAYING SOME BRIDGE ' LEYS. AFTER WAIT- TONIGHT. LETS GET SOMEBODY IN:
"TRIES THE LAPPETS WHO ANNOUNCE IN GUARDED TONES
THEY'D LIKE TO BUT THEY HAVE COMPANY.
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
OUYAS
CALLS UP THE PLUMERS BUT THEY ING FIVE MINUTES" WANT TO STAY HOME FOR SOMEBODY TO 'AND LISTEN TO THE ANSWER,REMEMBERS SONNY BOY HOUR THEY WERE GOING TO ON THE RADIO .. THE MOVIES.
SUGGESTS THE GIL: WATERS BUT RE- MEMBERS THEY PLAY ONLY CONTRACT.
THINKS OF THE DIMMICKS WHO ARE DELIGHTED TO PLAY AND WILL BE RIGHT OVER,
DISCUSSES OTHER PROSPECTS WITH WIFE, ALL OF WHOM PLAY EITHER TOO WELL OR NOT WELL
ENOUGH..
AT WHICH MOMENT THE DOORBELL RINGS; AND CALLERS DROP IN TO SPEND THE EVENING.
(Copyright, 1929, by The Ball Syndicate, Inc.)
HOME FOOTBALL RESULTS."
SENIOR VISITING TEAMS FAIL TO MAKE GOOD.
THIRD DIVISION LEADERS DRAW IN EACH CASE.
SATURDAY'S MATCHES.
First Division home teams in the English League ware in strong form on Saturday. West Ham United alone of the visit ing team succeeded in getting away with full points from the Arsenal, and Liverpool managed to share the points with Ports mouth Leeds United, the leaders, beat Grimsby by six goals, while Everton secured five of the seven goals in their meeting with Newcastle.
Blackpool and Oldham, at the top of the Second Division, played away, and both won by two goals. Southampton, once a., great drawing team, are forging ahead this wason, and their victory against Bradford City carried them to fourth place.
Plymouth, Southern Section leaders, surrendered ozel point," and Southend also with a drawn result shoved to second place. Port Vale, at the top of the Northern Section, niso divided the points with South Shields.
Results as called by Beuter and revised League tables follow:--
ENGLISH LEAGUE.
Division I.
Arsenal 0 West Ham
INTER-LEAGUE MATCH.
SCOTTISH SUCCESS.
ON BEHALF OF HM. THE KING.
H.E'S CONSENT TO MUI TSAI AND FACTORY ORDIN- ANCES, ETC.
H.E. the Governor has given his assent, in the name and on behalf
of H.M. the King, to the following Ordinances passed by the Legis lative Council;~~~~
COMMENCING WEDNESDAY
AL JOLSON
IN
"THE SINGING FOOL"
BUSTER
· AT THE...
BOOK YOUR SEATS EARLY
KEATON
GMERA
BUSTER TURNS THE CRANK ON MORE LAUGHS
THAN SWISS CHEESE HAS
HOLES!
Metro-Goldwyn-Mayer
FICTURE
IT'S A HOWLE
QUEEN'S
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
At 280, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
STAR
TIM MCCOY
- IN
BEYOND THE SIERRAS
TO-DAY TO WEDNESDAY AT 5.30 ONLY.
WORLD
LAURA LA PLANTE
INSTA
An Ordinance to make provisions| THE LOVE THRILL
with respect to the British Mercan- tile Marine Uniform.
An Ordinance to amend the Unk forma Ordinance, 1805.
An Ordinance to amend the Pro- tection of Women and Girls Ordin- anco, 1897.
An Ordinance to Amend the Female Domestic Service Ordinance,
· 1923.
An Ordinance to amend the Watchmen Ordinance, 1928
-An Ordinance to amend the Indus- trial Employment of Children Or- dinance, 1922.
An Ordinance to provide for the incorporation of the Trustees of thei Chater Masonic Scholarship Fund.
Division II. '(Southern).
P. W. D. L. F. A. Pts. Plymouth 13.9 4 9 31 11 22 Southend...13 7 5 1 28 15 19 P'nemouth 13 7 4 2 31 17 16 "Brentford ...13 8 2 3 27 14 18 Brighton 13 8 2 3 20 20 18 Northants 13,8 1 492 13- 17 Walsall ......14 6 3 a 27 92 15 3 Birmingham... 1-Ibrox Park, Glasgow, on Saturday Fulham ......13 3 4 22 20 15 Blackburn to witness the inter-League fixture. Luton 18 5 4 4 27 21 14 .....à Nowcastle
The Scottish League beat the Eng-Queen's P.R. 13 46 3 13:14 14 Coventry 13 2.5 25 21 14
Aston Villa... 1 Manchester · U. o Bolton
Sheffield U....1
Burnley
Derby
Everton
Leeds U... Grimsby
Manchester C. 3 Middlesbro
Portsmouth 3 Liverpool Wednesday... 4. Leicester....... Sunderland 1 Huddersfield... 0
Division EL.
Barnsley....
Bradford C.... 2 Southampton. 5 Bristol C... Cardiff Charlton
Rull ****** Notts C Preston Reading..... Sloke Swansea Wolres
3 West Broma....
1 Chelsea.......
1 Notts Forest...
0 Blackpool
4 Bradford
0 Burg
1
0 Oldham
emi
2
0 Tottenham
1
Millwall
Division III. (Southern).
Bournemouth... 4 Torquay Crystal P. 2 Brentford Exeter
Swindon Fulham Coventry Gilingham.... 3 Bristol R Laton 4 alerthyr Northampton... 1 Brighton Norwich 1 Clapton: 0. Queen's P.R. 0 Watford Bouthend Plymouth. Walsall ......... 2 Newport ..
Division I. (Northern). Accrington 3 Barrow Chesterfield... 3. Nolson
"Carlisle
This puzzle took 90 minutes to Darlington....3 Wrexham solve. See how long it will take Doncaster you to solve it.
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
Bo. 1489 (70ELIK - BOLABP
RUTJIÐ 0120 DIE
MI
P1 PAGKIES, VI AZJ7BE. SCORES
231716, BERETE
(TIE OVESVETI
MPEY ARIL GCEDE
[09:00 SZE
Halifax ...... York ..... Lincoln 1 Southport Hartlepools Wigan... Rochdale New Brighton Rotherham ... 2. Stockport South Shields o Port Vale Tranmeren 1 Crowe......
SCOTTISH LEAGUE.
Division L
સ
I
1
0
1
There was a gate of 30,000 at
lish League by two goals to one.
LEAGUE TABLES.
ENGLISH LEAGUE.
Division I.
P. W. D. L. F. A. Pts.
Loods U.....13 9 2 28.13 90 Manch 13 8 22.35 21 18 Aston Villa 13 6 1 4 28 23 17 Wednesday...19 7 3 28 13 18 Derby 13 6 34 24 151 Arsenal 13 6. 2018 14 Boltou 13 6 2 5 92 91 14 Everton ...14 4 5 5 30 28 13 Leicester ....13 5.5 24 13 Sheffield U. 13 3 3 3 5 28 13 Middlesbro 13 5 2 6.30 24 12 Birmingham 135 27 25 12 West Ham...13.5 26 27 25 12 Blackburn 13 4 4 5 28 27 12 Burnley 13 5 2 0 95 97 19 Huddersfield 13.5 2 621 25 12 Liverpool 13 4 4 3 39 28 12 Grimsby 13 4 3 6 22 31 11 Newerable 13 3 0 8 0 34 19 Sunderland 12 3 3 0 15 22 0 Portemouth 13 256-10 20 9 Yanch U. 134 00 15 30
Division II.
8
B
Swindon ... 14 13 6 9 99 13 Norwich 13 3 3 5 21-27 13 Crystal P....14, 530 02-29 Exeter 13 4 3 0 21 Watford 13 47.15 Bristol R.13 2 7 20:25 Clapton O. 13 1.6 6 11 21 Torquay 13 2 4 7 17 29 Newport 13 2 3 8 13 24 Gillingham 13 2 3 3 10 23 Merthyr.12 1
4 7 12. 31 Division III. (Northern),
P. W. D. L. F. A. Ptä Port Vale...14 10-3-1-37 13 23 Accrington...137 42 18 18. Stockport .12 7.3 % 14 17 Darlington 13 8 1 4 38 24 17 Rochdale ...17 7 3 2 32 21 17° B. Shields.12 6 4 2 17 14 18 Tranmere 13 0 340 "19 15 Crewe .......12.8 243 19 14 | Lincolni.13 38 2.18 18 14 Carlisle ......13 0 1 8 30.39 13 Nelson14 8-17 92 32 13 Chesterfield 12 6 3 90 18 12 Southport 12 4 3 5 23 21 11 York 13 27 4 18-20 11 Wigan 12 496 23 21 10 Hartlepools 12 2 6 10 20 10 Rotherham...12 3 4 5 18 25 10 Doncaster ...14 4 3 8 13 27 10. Wroxham 13 2 8 6:19 28 Halifax ......14 24. 8′′ 16 23 Barrow 19 9 19:15 36 N, Brighton 13 319 19 37 7
SCOTTISH LEAGUE.
5
P. W. D. L F. A Pia Blackpool 12 10 0 2 40 25 20 Oldham....12 8 3 12 11 10 Wolves14 7 3-4 31 22 17:
P/W. D. LE.. A. Pts. o'thampton 13 7 2 4 22:23 18
Aberdeen ...14 3 2 30 23 21 Bradford 13 724 25 24 16
Hangers12 1 2 190 19 Stoke 14 5 5 4 32 27 15 Celtic129 2 2 30 14 18 Charlton 13 6 5 3 23 19 15 Motherwell..13 8 9 3 30 16 18 Bury 12 7 14 23 21 15
Hearts.....13 7:42 30 17 18 Cardiff 14 6 3 5 10 17 15 Kilmarnock 13 8 23 31 21 18 West Brom, 12 6 9 4 64 21 14 St Mirren...13 8 1 4 20 16 17 Chelsen.12 69 4 24 18 14 · Partick....13 72.4 28 19 16′ Hull
13 0 3 5 16 20 13 Ayr Reading ..13 4 4 5 15 14 12 Bradford 0.13448 21 24 12
1
Airdrie
2 Ayr United Critie
4 Hiberniaus....0 Cowdenbeath," Rangers Dundee 0. Clyde - Hearts
Hamilton Kilmarnock 4 Aberdeener 2 Motherwell & Dundes: U. ........... Partick 5 Falkirk Queen's Park 2 Morton St. Johnstone 1 St. Mirrén [*Postponed.'.
„1.6, "170 £6, 29, 13 Fakiri 13 5 2 0 50 31 12 Dundee.13 4 3 3 12 11 Tottenham...13 4 4 5 1999 12 Hamilton 13 430 27 29 11
8
7
Notts C. 14 44018 24 12 Bristol C. 13 497 23 34 10 Millwall 13 1 0 0 0 30 Notta F.13 247 298 Bwaneca 132 38 18 23 Barnsley.12 2.6717 93: Preston...13 2 3.8 19.31
(Continued on next Column).
C'denbeath 19 4 2 4 13 10 10 Airdrie 1350817.23 10. Merton 13 4.2727 3510 - St. J'stone 13 3 28 10 27. 8. Clyde 13 3 9 8 1. 20 7Dundee U....13 3 2 8 19:41 7 Hibernians 13 E3 8 14 28 Queen's Pk, 13 21 10-18 28
8
8.
7.
·FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY Continuous Performance 1.15 to 11.18.
STAR THEATRE SEE!
HARRY BELL
presents the
RUTH VAN VALEY REVUE
RUTH VAN VALEY
AMERICA'S PERMİKE DANSEUSE
ROSE LEE. "MACK" SENNETT BATHING BEAUTY-
THE FORMER PARTNER OF CHARLIE CHAPLIN
REX STOREY -
||WORLD-FAMOUS MARIONETTES
MANTELL'S MANNIKINS
TONG FONGS FIRST TALKIE
HEAR!
POPULAR SONG HITS
AL JOLSON
IN
THE
FOOL
SINGING
at the
QUEEN'S
commencing WEDNESDAY, NOV. 6th for 5 DAYS only
ALSO
Booking at Montrie's | SEE & HEAR
and the Star Theatre.
Prices: $3,82,- 817′′
For the THROAT
tho BRONCHIAL TUBES and the LUNGS
VALDA
PASTILLES
are excellent.
On Sale at all Chemists, & Diggists!
INSIST on the boxes bearing the name VALDA.
+
BOLE AGENTE".
L RONDON & CO., LTD.
SHANGHAI.
THE NEWS OF THE DAY FOX MOVIETONE NEWS)
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