1929-10-26 — Page 3

HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.

THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, SATURDAY, OCTOBER 26, 1929,

THE MINUTE THAT SEEMS A YEAR

By GLUYAS WILLIAMS

First Married Man: "You ought to be happy now that the season is over and your wife will quit dragging you off to pienies."

Second Ditto: Hah! She's planning big times for taking down | the screens, getting the cellar clean- ed and ready for the coal, and rak- ing up the leaves from the lawn."

"And was Mrs. Swank surprised when she found our you were leav- ing her, Cook "*

Oh, no, ma'am. She knew be fore I did."

Hardup: I say, old man, will you indorse a note for me

Let's see! Your nephew attain- ed his majority several months ago, didn't he?"

"Yes," replied honest Farmer Hornbeak, but it ain't a working majority even yet."

Contractors To-day we start building that roundhouse in Tank-

town.

Assistant: Great! Who's to lay" the corner stone?".

"Has anything happened while I've been out?"

"No, ma'am, except that the door you are leading against has been

Editor: My dear chap, my pro-repainted." fessional training forbids me hay. ing anything to do with paper writ ten on both sides."

•

Mistress: "Didn't those ladies leave their, cards, Mary"

Mary: 'Deed no, Ma'am; they would ave, but I told them you had plenty of your own."

Mother: "Why are you and little sister doing all that chattering at each other

Johnny : We're playing talking movies, mamme !''

"Are you going to put in an oil humer for your furnace next win ter, as you planned "

No. I get so many automobile and other circulars in the mail now that I believe I can heat the house with them."

"I could see it was a quiet town as soon as I arrived," said a re turned vacationer, the other morn

ing, so I wrote up my diary for two weeks in advance.

یاد

The owner of a cheap watch brought it into the jeweler's shop to see what could be done for it.

The mistake I made, .of course." he admitted, "was in drop- Ping it, th

"Well, I don't suppose you could help that," the jeweler remarked. The mistake you made was pick ing it up.'

11

Theatre Owner: "How did the new jokes get across ?"

Stage Manager: Must have come on the Mayflower."

**

When I order poultry

again for Sunday's dinner, aid the customer, "I don't want you to send me any more of those air- plane chickens.'

What kind do you mean?" ask- ed the dealer.

The sort that are all wings,* said the man.

Elderly Clerk: "I don't like this new fashion of the young men go- ing without hats."

Friend: Why not ""

Clerk: "In the days of long ngo, when the chief wanted somebody who was not in the office one could say, He raust be about-there is his bat,' but now there is nothing

to show."

Jeweler: "This is a standard timepiece for gentlemen, madame."

Madame: "I'm afraid it won't do for my husband. Your see, we have daylight saving time."

New Arrival at Club: "Ah, a fishing story!"

Member: No, just the length of his holiday landlady's bill."

4

Salesman: This car is a won der. It goes so gently that you do not notice the motion, the engine is silent, the petrol burns so well that there is no smell, and the speed is such that one can hardly set the car fly past."

Prospective Buyer: "But can't I ses another make of car? What is the good of one that I shall not know I have?"

CROSSWORD PUZZLE.

12

3 A

15

4.

12

114

15

16

18

22

33

26

29

17

13

10

34

35

136

140

42

144 45

A6

197.

48

50

51

Horizontal.

1.-To desire greatly. 6.-Wrecks.

11.-To call to mind.

13.--Uenge.

14.-Upan.

15.Obese.

17. To ach

19.-Slang for energy. 20.-Foundation, timber.

21.-Engraving.

22.--To mon

24.-Small vegetable.

16.-Pastries. 19.-Model.

21. Table over which goods are

suld. 23.-Exposed. 25,-. To lean.

27.-Pole.

28.-Ocean.

20.--To cause to decay. 31.-Loat sweetness, 3o.-Enclosed.

33.-Tar.

34.-Task 35.Invasion.

37.--Boxes.

25.-Only.

28.-Looks fixedly.

28-To turn about.

30

99.-Stopped.

30-Small vegetable.

31.--Drule.

32~Factories.

34-Heary string.

35-Portuguese coin.

30-Afternoon parties.

38.-Follower of Attila,

39.-Pains,

41. To tear..

42.-Conjunction.

43.-Not the one or the other.

48.-Musical note.

48-To wind again.

48.--Clothes maker.

50-Prepares for print. 51.--Waste lands

Vertical,

1.-Cuts short.

2-Regenerates.

3-Part of to be,

4.By way of. 5.--Finishes.

0.-Trick 7. To employ.

6.Pronoun,

B.-Little knot,

10.Struck.

12-Plunged

13.-African medicinal plant.

-Stics

40.-Line of juncture.

43.-Insect egg. 44.Spanish for river. 47.-West Indies (abbr.), 49.-Behold!

YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.

Fo. 1475 SPARE

AFTER PERSUADING YOUR MOTHER THAT YOU'VE GOT A QUEER PAIN IN YOUR TUMMY AND REALLY DON'T FEEL WELL ENOUGH TO GO TO SCHOOL,

YOU REMEMBER THAT THIS IS THE DAY OF

EDDIE SELZER'S BIRTHDAY. PARTY

AO-} (Cċpyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)

SPORT

WATER POLO.

AND

RUGBY.

WILLIAITS

ATHLETICS.

Plaistow United's brilliant dis- | Greater speed enabled the Aus- play against Cheltenham in the semi-final of the national water tralian Rugby League team to gain pola championship foreshadows an- the mastery against Broughton other southern triumph. Chellen- Rangers, and the tourists secured hom were defeated by six goals to their fifth win in succession. At two, and there is no doubt that the half time the Australians led by acore reflected the merits of the eight points to five, but asriated by two teams If the Essex club can the wind, they dominated play reproduce their semi-final form în afterwards, and won by 21 points the final at Walsall there is but to 8. The Australians again gave little doubt that they will master fine display. A strong wind the winner of the Blackburn-Har- favoured the home team, and in purhey semi-final. Plaistow are an the first half the vistors had to exceptionally fast side. They have withstand severe pressure. Stowell, three internationals and a reserve from penalties, twice failed at goal, international, but they are not in- but from another panalty, however, dividualistic in any sense of the opened the home team's scoring word, for the three internationals, The Australians found considerable Temme, Sutton, and Lovely, com- difficulty in handling the ball, but bine with the rest of the team to eventually Spencer ran over for two such a degree that it is almost im-tries, the second being improved by possible to mark and frustrate any Welssell. The visitors' defence was particular player in the Plaistow

then severely tested, and Hope ran side.

over for a try. Stowell failed at goal. There was no further scor ing in this half. With the wind the Australians had the better of

The international water polo tournament for the Count Klebels- berg Cup, which began at the

Chazar Baths in Budapest last month, ended in a victory for Bungary, the European champions, who, by winning all her five mat- ches, obtained full points. Eag land was beaten by Germany six goals to one. Sutton scored Eng land's only goal. Hungary beat Belgium seven to one, and Sweden beat France five te two.

SWIMMING.

E. M. Peter (Croydon S.C.), who woh the title in 1922, regained the men's long-distance swimming championship over the Kew to Putney course of 8 miles, 60 yards, covering the distance in 1 hour 3 min 2. 3-8 sec.

J G. Hatfeld (Middlesbrough), who had won six times in all, in- cluding his victory last year, did not start, as he had returned from Budapest only two days previous. ly from a ten days' tour with the British water-polo team. There completed the distance. The nine were twenty-six starters, and all teen who followed Peter home quali- fied for Standard certificates for finishing within ten minutes of the winner.

Peter took the lead from the start, following by E. W. Pascoe (Plaistow "United), the 1997 win- aer, and he maintained the ad vantage throughout to heat Pas coe by 2 min. 1ð 2-3 sec. »

never

the play in the second half, the Broughton Rangers defence kept | down the score. Later swift move after ments by the Australians brought tries by Shankland, Kingston, and Fifield, the first-named Kicking two goaia. Doran (Broughton Rangers) was awarded a try for obstruction, Stowell failing at goal. It was a vigorous game throughout,

J

LON CHANEY WEST OF ZANZIBAR

FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY

AT THE

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At 280, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.

STAR

IRENE RICH

IN

BEWARE OF MARRIED MEN

With CLYDE COOK, AUDREY FEBRIS, MYRNA LOY

FINAL SHOWINGS TO`DAY

AT 2.30, 6.90 & 9.20.

W THE LAST FRONTIER

Featuring WILLIAM BOYD, JACK HOXIE, MARGUERITE DE LA MOTTE, J. FARBELL MACDONALD

FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY Continuous Performance From 1.18 to 11.15.

BORLA

THEATRE

THE

ROYAL.

TO-NIGHT! TO-NIGHT!

WARWICK REVUE COMPANY

IN

AIRY NOTHINGS

BOOKING AT MOUTRIE'S

UNTIL 1. P.M.

PASSENGERS.

Arrivals.

PRICES: $3, $2, $1. Fox 8 P.M. AT THEATRE.

A. STROK

ANNOUNCES

ONE APPEARANCE ONLY

OF

MIGUEL

FLETA

The following passengers arrived by the P. & 0, s.a. Kalyan from Shanghai:-Mr. W. E. Awcock, Mrs. A. Angal, Midshipman C. R L. Argles, Midshipman O. 9. Booth- At Hammersmith Bridge Peter's by, Mr. G. Bellers, Mr. R. W. time was 44 min. 55 sec., 2. min. Bergawker, Mr. and Mrs. B. de 14 ace. ahead of Pascoe, and Barodaewsky, and child and emah, this point Peter язв Mr. B. D. F. Boith, L/Corp. W.

in danger of caught. He struck one short stretch and infant and amah, Miss Chao, being Cable, Mr. and Mrs. J. T. Chao of rough water and a stiffish breeze Master IL, S. Chao, Mr. T. Clark, hampered bim, otherwise there had Mr. and Mrs. D. T. Denham, been a distinct possibility of T. 8. Corpl. T. E. Deacon Mr. D. Battersby's 1910 record of 1 hour Fraser, Petty. Officer H. Fowler, 3 min. 12 2-5 sec. being beaten.

Mr. H. J. Ferris, Mr. H. R. W. Flanagan, Mr. G. E. Gilbert, Compl. F. J. Gale, Dr. R W Gurney, Midshipman G. D. A. Gregory, Mr. and Mrs. H. Hall, Comdr. O. A. G. Hutchison, Mr. S. Hancock, Mrs. C. W. Holdsworth and child, fr. and Mr. C. D. Jackson and servant. Mr. L T. L. A. C. Lidwell, and infant and Kang, Mr. W. Loe, Mr. and Mrs. would care. Straw hats were worn umah, Pte. E. Lexis, Mr. W.THEATRE ROYAL extensively before the war, but now Montieth, Mr. D. B. W. Murray, nobody wears them except Ameri- Mr. A. E. Marker, Mr. J. A. J. W can tourists and school boys. The Nieuwenhuys, Midshipman D. D. school boys wear them all year O'Brien, Mr. R. O. Paulet, Mrs S. round.

MAINLY for the men.

The cardinals-Theologian and r Councillors of the Sacred Congrega. tion of Rites have considered the evidence of the martyrdom of the Venerable Philip Howard, 1st Earl of Arundel, who died in the Tower of London in 1593. while awaiting execution. The Congregation also considered the similar causes of the Venerables' Robert Scuthwell, Jesuit priest; George-Haydock, re- gular priest; John Roberts, Bene- dictine; and Arthur Bell, Francis can friar, who suffered death for their faith in England. The first Earl of Arundel was tried for high treason in 1589 and sentenced to death. He languished, in prison and died on October 19, 1508.

and

London's moral uplifters have to the next and, even if they did, discovered that English girls are only a small portion of bowlerites Kerb Crawler." threatened with a new enemy-"The A wave of in- dignation has swept over the city following public denouncements of the young men who drive their cars down the streets, keeping well against the kerb and aceasting all unaccompanied young women. The attention of the police was called to the menace. On private investi- gation being made, however, it was discovered that not all the "kerb

crawlers were masculine! Wo men were at the wheels of a large part of the cars and the "menaced was masculine instead of

sex"

feminine...

Captain A, L. Robinson, veteran pilot of the Imperial Airways, has spent more than eight months in the air, recently completing over 6,000 flying hours Captain Robin- son has flown across the Channel 1500 times carrying approximately 15,000 passengers. He has been fly ing fourteen years and has a dis-

Air Force in France. tinguished record with the Royal

Caustic comments on the House of Commons library were made by Mr. Baldwin when he opened the new library of Gray's Inn..

"There are libraries This puzzle took 23 minutes to libraries," he said, " and if I may solve. See how long it will take take one example I would like to you to solve it.

say a word about the library at the House of Commons "It is full Speaking of toppers, bowlers, and of what Lamb, called Biblia other forms of masculine and Abiblia (books which are not féminine bead gear, a collector of books), none of which should such regalia would be in heaven on I ever look at, even were the streets of London. It is stated, alone on a desert island with them and apparently on good authority, that top hats are thrown down from for the rest of my life,"

Mr. Timothy Healy, K.C trea-

generation to generation. Experts swear that they have identified bow surer of Gray's Inn, said:

lers of the late ninetics gracing "The new library contains about the craniums of northern visitors 20,000 books, many of them being The "Scots, as usual, come in for of grent antiquity and value. most of the joking about the There are ancient registers, in vintage of their hats, but observers which the entries include such fam-who make frequent trips across the ous characters as Oliver Cromwell, border usually return with news the Earl of Kildare, known as 1 of still another practically prehis Henry of the Battleaxe, and toric discovery. The bowler is the Francis Bacon."

only type of hat that has the slightest chance against London's grime, and rain. Stylen do not vary a great deal from one season

18}ZED 3263 PELTEDD RAY00045

RIFORLE

TRADE

,

The library is panelled through out in oak, and is extensively de corated with Worcester carving."

Perkins, t. Comdr. A. T. G. C. Peachey Mr. and Mrs. Pan, Mr. G. F. Raddon, Mr. B. Ratanai, The underground city of silent Midshipman R. J. Robertson, Mr. Rome, that is, the miles and miles B. Sheridan, Mr. G. Shah, Mr. D. of still unexplored catacombs be G. Shah, Pte, A. Swatton, Pte. R. longing to the primitive Christian Simpkins, Mr. and Mrs. A. C. course of the next few years, if Steward, C.B.E., D.6.0., Rear era, is going to be excavated in the Stewart, and child, Col. G. B. Y.

the Pontifical Archeological In- Admiral H, J. Tweedie, C.B., Pte. stitute receives the financial-sup- Thompson, Mr. B. Tulls, Mr. H. port from the faithful which it con H, Thaker, Paymaster-Comdr. II. fidently expects. Under clause 33 R. M. Woodhouse, O.B.E., Mrs. of the Lateran Concordat, the dis- Woodhouse, Mra I. M Walley, posal and ordinance of all the Bamm. P. W. White, Mr. B. M Christian Catacombs of Italy are Woollenden, Mr. and Mr. G. W. handed over to the Holy See, and Waste and child, Mr. and Mrs. F. it is now understood that the Vatis, Wong and child, Mr. H. T.

as possible, Woo. can intends, as soon

to begin excavations in the mystic treasure of early Christianity. No one knows exactly the location of

. WHY FOOD CAUSES N · INDIGESTION,

[PHENOMENAL SPANISH

TENOR

AT THE

Tuesday, Oct. 29, 1929

At 9.15 p.m.

AT THE PIANO: JOSE ANGLADA

RESERVED SEATS: $6.00 UNRESERVED, $8.00 Booking at MoUTRIE'S from WEDNESDAY, OCTOBER 16.

SEASON'S

GREATEST

MUSICAL

EVENT.

[3510

THE TIME FOR BLANKETS

all the catacombs of ancient Rome, but it is certain that their extent is at least three times as great as that of the hitherto explored cata- combs. The experts of the Ponti-

When food enters your stomach, ficat Archeological Institute do not large quantities of acid-bearing disguise from themselves the magni- gastric juice are at once secreted tode of the task, and even under If, as often happens, too much is the most favourable circumstances, secreted, the food soon becomes a many years must pass before the sour, fermenting mass, which re- hundreds of galleries which shelter mains in the stomach a long time, ed the early Christians and have causing all kinds of pain and

18 HERE, BUT WHAT SHALL never seen the fight of day or been trouble, and frequently endanger. trodden by human feet for centuries ing life. In such cases, instant re

BE DONE FOR THOSE WHO can be explored. It is believed that lief can be obtained by taking „CANNOT AFFORD THEM?" many of these forgotten refuges of Biaurated Magnesia immediately the persecuted Christians of Rome after eating or whenever pain is MEMBERS of the Committee at- run under modern Roman streets felt. This instantly neutralises the tend at the Society's Room, that are important arteries of acid, stops the fermentation, heals CT HALL, EVERY MONDAY and traffic, and excavations in this case and soothes the inflamed stomach THURSDAY, at 10.80 to receive will hardly be possible. But in the lining, and restores normal, poin- GIFTS of BLANKETS, Part-wom outlying quarters of Rome, near less digestion. Get a package of Clothing, etc. the already open catacombs of St. Bisurated Magnesin, powder or HONG KONG BENEVOLENT Calixtus, there are miles of unex- tablets, from your chemist, to-day."} plored galleries that will before Use as directed, and your digestive long be examined.

troubles will be a thing of the past,

SOCIETY. (Est. 1869.)

(8453