HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Have you got hot and cold water in your room at the hotel?" "No; just tepid and lukewarm.”
"How is your bride getting along with her experiments in cooking " "Well, she hasn't burned any ns- bestos yet."
"So you'se taken an apartment farther up "
"Yes, only five minutes more on the elevator."
"Are you living on shorter ra tions"
*** Yes, but I get so hungry that I have my ordinary meals as well."
Landlady: "Do you like your "beef this rare, Miss Prim
Boarder: Since you ask me, it is too rare-I would like it a little
oftener,"
Child: "I want a donkey ride! I want a donkey ride!
{
i
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. SATURDAY, OCTOBER 19, 1929.
A woman's paper says that hus- bands should share the housework with their wives.
多
What kind of woman's paper is that Let the husbands do it all."
";
Visitor: "And so you help your mother with the housework, do you "
Little Helen: Yes, ma'am. She says help her by keeping out of her way."
Father: Necessity, my dear boy, is the mother of invention."
Dear Boy: "Oh, I see, but who was the father 7"
Father: "Why, be was-es, ch, yes, he is Pat Pending."
"Jimmy. I wish you'd learn bet. ter table manners; you're a regular little pig at the table."
Deep silener on Jimmy's part. So father, in order to impress him more, added, "I say, Jimmy, do you know what a pig is
"Yes, sir," replied Jimmy meek-
Mother: "Oh. de take her only. It's a hog's little boy." your shoulder, Gerald, and let us have a little peace.'
Why did you have only one of the twins photographed "
They looked so much alike, it was no use to spend the money get ting pictures of both.'
Chivers: "I take a cold shower every morning."
it 1"
Williams Why brag about
Chivers: That's why I take it !"
The little boy's favourite uncle was to be married on the following Sunday, and the boy was question- ing his mother about the wedding.
"Moiber," he said. "the last three days they give them anything they want to eat, don't they?"
www.****
Proud Author (confidentially) I happen to have" written this book, and I'm glad to see you're giving it the place of honour on your news stand."
News Stand Boy: "Yes, I put it on top of those newspapers to stop 'em blowing off the stand."
When a certain film actress went to get a licence for her fourth-or. was it lifth marriage she was somewhat sensitive," and the clerk who made out the licence seemed unduly inquisitive.
Have you been married before," he asked. and, if so, to whom 1"
This was too much for the act ress. In her most freezing manner she demanded. What is this-a memory test??
the first time in his life. A dark A soldien was on sentry duty for form approached,
"Halt he cried in a threaten. ing tone. Who are you?"
The Orderly Officer." "Advance!"
The Orderly. Officer advanced, but before he had proceeded half a dozen yards, the sentry again oried,
Halt!" "This is the second time you have halted me,"
observed the officer. What are you going to do next?" "My orders are to call Halt!' three times and then shoot!" was the reply.
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
+6
2
3
8
19 10
12
B
•
15
17
阳
19 20
2
22
124
125
26
127
29
30
131
132
35
36
37
138 (39
40
42
45
52
153
154
65
156 157
50
Horizontal
1.To make noise like crow's.
4.-To exist.
6. An acid.
[1.-In Midsummer
Night's
Dream, king of the fairica. 13.-Places for contests.
15.-Exclamation.
16. Understanding
ernments.
16.-Negative.
10.-Belonging to.
་་
66
67
14.-Painful places. 17.Poetic for enough. 20,--Part of head. -93- Toward
2-To leave £25.-Ordered..
27.-Love god. 20.-Outer edges.
between gov 32-Pitcher
21-Slight depression.
To agitate.
24-To snatch,
26.Part in play.
28.-A., number.
29.-Man's name.
31-Part of "to be".
33.-East Side (abbr.).
34-Prepared for print. 36.-Planta,
39.-Toward a higher place 40.-To give out. 42.-Hindu soldier.
45.-Seine..
17.-Stage celebrity. 49.-Mature.
60. To haul.
42.-Tour.
J
64.-Symbol for nickel.
5.-Two.
50.-Reparations. 60.-While.
UL-Monetary unit £3.-Property.
06.-College officers,
+BE. Thua
.87.---Born.
Vertical,
To make noise like dore's
-Detests.
3-Pronoun...'
5-Ta come in.
4.--Tie
0.-Sleeveless cloaks.
7.-Skill.
8.--Dregs.
D.-Within.
10-Pertaining to dogs. 12-Prefix: again.
-Giggles.
-To twirl, 36-Loosened. 30.-Ern. 41.--Mountain lake.
4.A narcotic.
14
44.-Old plural of you. 46.-Symbol for tantalum. 49.-Goes horesback. 51.-Fete.
53-Spanish monetary unit. 57. Human being.
68.-Saint (abbr.),
60. To observc. 02.-Spanish article. 41.-Artide.
This puzzle took 19 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it..
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
180, 1469
130 SMILE OIN
032
SHADE JACARA
GAB-IOT SIGE RDETTE07 ZES
12ARRY CRA
DE
34 E2032-
DAN GEIZ
|FABZZ BA 782 OBITO ZRA
DIFFICULT DECISIONS
By GLUYAS WILLIAM::
COMPLICATED PROBLEM ARISING TROM YOUR WIFE'S SUDDENLY COMING UPSTAIRS WITH A FRIEND TO DISCUSS CLOTHES JUST AFTER YOU HAVE STARTED DRAWING
A TUB OF HOT WATER
{9-24 (Copyright, 1929. by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
SPORT AND
WOMEN'S SOULLING
CHAMPIONSHIP.
GWYAS ・WILLIARS!
ATHLETICS.
CYCLING.
HARVEY AND JACKSON OUFS AWARDED.
At a committee meeting held at the Amateur Athletic Association's decided to award the Harvey Me- offices in London last month it was marisi Gold Cup to C. Ellis (Birch field Harriers) as the best cham pion of the year, and to make H. W. Payne (Woodford Green A.C.) and J. A. Hanlon (Polyte chaic Harriers) joint holders of the C. N. Jackson Memorial Cup, (France), 5; Hoffmann (Ger- best performance in the A.A.A. 43. A Aumerle which is awarded annually for the many), 0.
Championships by a British com petitor.
F. W. Sauthall, England's hope! The annual sculling champion-road race championship over a in the world's amateur cycling ship of the Women's Amateur Row- ing Association took place last
course of 125 miles, after sustaining month over the historie Putney and damaging his machine when two punctures and falling heavily Mortlake course of 44 miles. The he was leading at the fifty-sixth were five entries, zad as the result mile, was hopelessly out of the race. of a preliminary heat Mis A. C. England's other representatives, A. Gentry (Weybridge L.R.C.) was
West (Bath-road, Club) and G. W. eliminated, leaving Miss M. Barff Jenkins (Hastings C. and A.C.) (Alpha L.A.R.C.), the holder, Miss finished twelfth and eighteenth re P. Innes (St. George's L.R.Cspectively. The final result was. Miss D. Slark (Helen Smith P. Bartolazzi (Italy), 7 hr. 20 min. L.R.C.), and Miss E. Kirton (St. George's L. R.C.) as the competitors. 2; R. Brassy (France), 3; A. Ruegg 38 9-3 sec., 1: R. Bertoni (Italy), The start was delayed, with the (Switzerland), result that the competitors did not get the best of the water conditions. All got well away except Miss Innes on the Middlesex station. They were sculling at very fast rate, but gradually settled down to slower pace. Miss Bärf soon took the lead, being followed at the end of the wall by Miss Innes, who lost a length or more owing to some launches be.ng directly ahead of her on her course. At Hammers mith Bridge Miss Barf was well ahead, her time being & min. 28 see, Miss Kirton was gecond, Miss Stark third, and Miss Innes last as they sculled past the West End ARA. boathouse Off the Stork Mian Kirton made a bold challenge for the lead, but was unable to make any impression on the champion who was still well ahead at Chis, wick Steps, where her time was 15 min, 20 sec.
Along the meadows the competi- tors, with the exception of Miss Slark, got together again, Miss Barff, who was still well ahead, (Continued on next Gulumn).
The world's professional cham pionship over the same course in which Great Britain was not re- presented, resulted in the holder retaining the title. The result WAS: G. Ronsse (Belgium),, 6 hr. 45 min. 5 3-5 cc. 1 N. Frantz (Luxembourg), 2: A. Bindo, 3,
took the Middlesex arch of Barnes Bridge, where her ting was 20 min. 40 sec. Her rivals, as is customary in the Varsity Boat Race and other contests, went through the centre arch, losing somewhat through do ing so. closed up between Barnes Bridge The leading competitors and the finish, which saw Miss Braff halt a length ahead of Miss Kirton, who finished three-quarters of a Tength in front of Miss Jones. The winner's time for the full course was 25 min. 17 sec.; as excellent per formance is every way, and an im- provement on her time for iast year's championship.
|
The award of these trophies was held over pending the decision of the last A.A.A. championship of the year, the seven-mile walk, but no outstanding performance was accomplished in that erent so the committee's decisions are based on the happenings at the general cham- pionship meeting in July. During that meeting at Stamford Bridge Ellis won the half-mile race in
min. 543-6sec and the tile in min. sec. He set up a new world's record for 1,000 yards at could not be taken into considera- the A.A.A. meeting, but that feat
tion.
Championship last July by cover H. W. Payne won the Marathon ing the 20 miles 385 yards in 2hr. 30min. 57 3-bsec., record time for the Windsor-London course; and J. A. T. Hanlon won the 20 yards in 21 -10sec. and the quarter-mile in 40 sec.
MAINLY FOR THE MEN.
Controlled
What do you do with your old Act," are a slum idyll, "The Cor razor blades? Some people use them' ner Shop," in collaboration witli, up for sharpening pencils, but Mr. Nichall Mahoney, of Liver there is a limit to the number of, pool, "The Boys of the Old Bri- pencil sharpeners one requires. gade," and "The Others simply allow them to ar Establishment." cumulate, to the annoyance of their women folk. But the blades which are a nuisance over here may be
Transmission of a talkicfilm from valuable in other lands. Some one place to another by television Imonths ago
well-known mission has been demonstrated by the in- nry asked for used razor blades, ventor, Mr. John L. Baird, with a which could not be disposed of certain measure of success. Geor- otherwise, to be sent to him, and ge Robey, did a "turn," and was collected about 300,000 of them. seen and heard some distance away These blades are much prized by by means of ordinary apparatus the African natives among whom used for the reception of television this missionary, works, and in one images. Mr. Robey's voice was os fifty-a-side football match recent clear as in the talking cinema, and ly it was found that they were the the vision equalled the standard popular choice as prizes for the attained by the Baird process, al winning team.
though at present, owing to the lack of wave hands, only the
The frequency
prehensible escapade. A thing im possible to overlook. A matter, in evitably, for the full paraphernalia of a court martial. But how many parents are there who would give all they possess to have sons with a spirit.Jike that?"
every
WILLIAM HAINES
Is THE DUKE STEPS OUT
STAR
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FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
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JOHN
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TOM MOORE & BESSIE LOVE
IN
R ANYBODY HERE SEEN KELLY?"
FINAL SHOWINGS
TO-DAY
BOKLA
Continuous Performance
FROM 1.15 TO 11.15
STAR THEATRE
WARWICK REVUE Co.
REVIEWS
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TO-NIGHT.
4
IN
OF THE REVUES
NIGHT
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A POPULAR POT-POURRI
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AMERICA'S PREMIER DANBEUSE RUTH
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(LATE CAPITOL THEATRE, N.Y.)
AND ROSE LEE
MACK SENNETT
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ESTHER VAN VALEY Coloratura Boprano
THE FORMER PARTNER OF
CHARLIE CHAPLIN
"Smiling" Jack Medford in Song
-REX STOREY
* Dr.' FOSTER
The Juggling Jester
JEANNINE ELLIOTT
Violinist
WORLD-FAMOUS MARIONETTES
MANTELL'S MANIKINS
GREATEST OF ALL PUPPET SHOWS
TELLMAN Magician
PLANS AT MOUTRIE'S
AND THE STAR.
Almost
Bank Holiday brings out a new fashion for mo tor-cyclists, and this year was no exception to the general rule. It foreshadowed the passing of the bright-coloured and tasselled beret. BIRDS The new cap has not the same de bonair appearance. It is of the stern grimness of the north in con- trast to the bright beret of the laughing south. It owes its origin to the snow-laden mountains. It is called, in fact, the ski-cap. There is not much similarity, except in shape, however, between the many-
LEN AYRES
Talkative Trickster
PRICES:-
-$3, $2 & $1.
BLINDED TO MAKE blind and both linnets had defec THEM. SING
COURT STORY OF A CRUEL PRACTICE.
The suggestion that cage birds.
tive vision,
Inspector Knight said that com- petitions for singing birds were held in the East End, and it had been found that blind birds sang better than those which had their sight.
"A bird which has been blind- are sometimes blinded to stimulate led," he added, "will sing at night,
actor's head and shoulders appeal! hued wollen headgear of adherents their prowess in singing competi- It will also sit still-in its cage
cap
"I am finding it something of aed on the screen. job to fit in the cast, but the task band fo aine kilocycles, at present of winter sports and the new by now been taken out of my hands available for television, it is stat favoured by leaders of motor-cycl. tions was made at Old-street Police and sing under conditions which by a small committee of four, who, ed, sets a limit to the amount of ing fashion. with the efficient assistance of Mra. detail which can be transmitted. in colour, with the deep peak described as an unemployed labƒhopping about,"
It is dark blue Court, London, when Charles Price, would cause a normal bird to keep Bourchier, are working enthusias but as the art progresses larger tically and wholeheartedly,"
It is stated that, all being well, located,
wave bands will presumably be al- Miss Ellen Wilkinson will bej. Among the cast, but Mr. Sextoni declined at the moment to divulge!
overshadowing
the
eyes, giv. Durel, of Weymouth-terrace, Shore- ing rather a sinister effect. A ditch, was fined 10s. for ill-treating storm flap folds round the side, two linnets and two chaffiches. and fastens with a bow of black
Insp. Henry Knight, R.S.P.C.A., tape in front. The goggles are car.
and two children in ong basement said that Price lived with his wife room, and the two chaffinches and
linnet was hanging in a cage out- one linnet were found in a small,
side.
Of course it was very wrong of ried above this by the Beau Brum
The inspector explained that the birds were blinded by red-hot and les, which were thrust carefully into the side of the eye so as to leave no visible mark of injury...
the names of those M.P.'s who have him. Here was a young aircrafts- mels of the road. "The ski-cap is so far promised their assistance.
"I will say this," he added, ly not a disciple of Safety "that as, yet I have not had one refusal among those whom I have thought capable of filling certain Jolės.
Mr. Sexton has now written in all five plays.. Among the most sur cessful, in addition to "The Riot
man named Baldwin, butirat med, but it does not make its owner evil-smelling cupboard. The other it as a very serious ease indeed;
rain, wind, and unproof, it is clai- who, without any experience as a proof against the advances of girl pilot, jumped into an R.A.. air-pillion riders who, with the fickle plane, flew over, to the Isle of ness of their sex, have deserted the Wight, flew back to the aerodrome, wearer of the beret, even though and crashed on landing, with it be tasselled with tinsel, and damage to the machine of some coloured like a tropic aunset, for £3,000. A most rash, impulsive, re-i. the new heads of fashion,
four inches wide, six and a half Each of the birds was in a cage inches deep, and eight inches long. The two chaffinches were totally
Mr. Clarke Hall: If you can bring me a case in which actual blinding can be proved I shall treat Price said that he was entirely -unaware that any of his birds were blind.
evidence that you had done the Mr. Clarke Hall: If I had any blinding yourself I wound send you to prison.
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