1929-10-15 — Page 3

Daily Press 孖剌西報 All

HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.

Proving that advertising pays, the Alton Empire tells of a man who advertised in his local paper that he had lost an umbrella, and advising the finder to keep it. The finder did,

The riporter enne idly into the office. Well," said the editor, "what did our eminent statesman have to say!" "Nothing."

Well. keep it down tu

colum"

Golfing Host (to novice): “Look! here, you can't get away much at week-end, so why not let me put hat you up for this-ish as a five- day member 7"

Novice: You are very kind, Sat I really don't think I would be able to devote five days a week to it.”

While Auntie arranged the pan-"] try shelves, her little niece handled the spice boxes and ended rach, spice by name. Presently she said, Anatie, 1 ran rend." "Can yon, dear swered Kontie,

Yes. Auntie, came the reply, "but I don't rend like you do. I read by the smell."

Mra, Knotts: "I can't under. stand why you aren't like Mrs. Dobbs's haslianc He's the most perfect man I know of."

Mr. Knotts Why all the ad. miration for our neighbour

Mrs Kolt: "He never passes mail-box that he doesn't feel in his pockets."

An Irishman got out of a train at a railway station and went in search of refreshments. The train left before Pat liad finished his re- past. and, rushing down the plat- form, he yelled:

Hould on, ye old stamu ingine; y've got a passenger on board that's left behind."

Hotel Guest: May I trouble you for the mustard!'

Stranger: "You might ask the waiter."

Hotel Guest: "Pardon me; I onde a mistake."

Stranger: Did you take ine for the waiter "

Hotel Guest: "No, for a gentle

11.

** You know, Dad, he always said he'd never marry until the right girl game "along."

Well, how does, he know you are the right one!

Oh, I told him I wns,"

Sunnel was walking in the park with his nurse when he suddenly asked her to read the sign just in front of them. She read, “No dogs allowed."

Well," he questioned, "who has n dog that can read that ??

"What did you say when you pro- posed to Muriel?"

1 said:

**I told her the truth. 1wn nothing. I have nothing, and 1 can do nothing.”-

What did she do!" "She did nothing."

Master Haven't you finished cleaning those hunts yet!

Apprentice: "Yes. I am doing the second."

Master Where is the first " Apprentice: shall do that when I have nished the second."

Writer (who has just been warned dean; But perhaps you could use this article if I were to buil it clown.

Editor: "No good at all. If you were to take a gllon of water and boil it down to a pint, it would

still be water.”

Dude Ranch Manager: "Yes, I can fix you up with a horse to ride. Do you want a dat. English 'saddle ur one with a horn ?"

THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. TUESDAY, OCTOBER 15, 1929.

Amateur Cowley: I'll take the English saddle. I don't believe | there's enough traffic out here to make a horn necessary,”

It way the young barrister's first case, and he was bubbling over with pride and enthusiasm as he stood in court

"Now," said he, addressing the defendant, you say you came to town to look for work! I put it to

you,

Well," hesitated the defendant, there was "Ah! cried the harrister, trium phantly. And what was it?"

A Tobomotive."

CROSSWORD PUZZLE.

SNAPSHOTS OF A WOMAN CHOOSING FRENCH PASTRY

By GLUYAS WILLIAMS

WILLATS

SAYS SHE'LL HAVE A CHOCO- LATE ECLAIR, NO SHE'LL HAVE SOME FRENCH PASTRY

CANT UNDERSTAND WATER'S DESCRIPTION AND EDES ON STARING AT TRAY

SURVEYS TRAY OF FRENCH FASTRY WHICH WAITER

BRINGS

REALIZES SHE'S GOT TO DO SOMETHING, DRAWS DEEP BREATH, POINTS AND SINS. SHE'LL TAKE THAT ONE

DISCOVERS AT LAST MINUTE THAT HER CHOICE HAS PISTACHO ·· ON IT, WHICH DISAGREES WITH HER

SPORT

BOERS BEAT BRITONS.

The Achilles Club met with the

second defeat of their South Afri can. tour at the Ramblers' ground

MAKES LAST. DESPERATE

SURVEY OF TE

ASKS WHAT'S IN THAT CUTE LITTLE ONE OVER THERE

CALLS WAITER'S ATTENTION TO FACT THAT HE'S GNEN HER TE WRONG ONE, IT WAS THE NEXT] ONE SHE WANTED

SIGHS, SAYS PERHAPS IT'S BEST TO SUCK TO THINGS YOU KNOW, AND TAKES A CHOCOLATE ECLAIR

3-19

AND ATHLETICS.

SCOTLAND BEAT IRELAND AT

GOLF.

As a preliminary to the Irish Open Amateur Championship, the annual match between Ireland and Scotland was played on the Royal Portrush course last month, and at the half-way stage Scotland bold a lead of one point, having won, three of the five Foursomes:

Most of the games were close, but

FIVE MILES. CYOLING TITLE.

F. H. Wyld (Derby R.C.C.) re- tained the N.C.U. five miles cycl- ing championship, which was held at Herne Hill recently in connec tion with the Catford Cycling Club's meeting.

S. T. Cazans (Manchester Whe- elers) was second, and W. F. Burl (Imperial Wheelers) third. Wyld won by 1 ft., with a wheel be

min. 34 sec

This is the fastest time that has been recorded since the war.

At the same meeting H. Grant (Imperial Wheelers) heat the one mile flying start motor paced re word, covering the distance in 1. min. 17 3-6 scc., bgainst the previ ous best of 1 min. 20 1-5 sce, held by F. H. Wyld.

there was another, ain Bloemfontein recently, losing to stronger motive that brought you

a strong Orange Free State teami all this distance."

by six events to five. J. E., Vil- joen, L. B. Hart, and W. B. Legg,

in the second encounter Win. Campween second and third. Time, 11 who played such a large part in bell and J. A. Lang, the Scottish the tourists' defeat at Kimberley, pair, ut D. E. B. Soulby and E. F. Spiller by five and four, after by accounting for six events be going out in 35 and turning four tween them, were again prominent.up.. A very keen struggle was pro- Viljoen set up & South African re-

duced by the meeting of W. B. Torrance and R B. Denholm word for the long jump, beating J. (Scotland) and Major C. O. Hez- M. Atkinson's figures of 24 ft. 11

let and Capt. G. N. C. Martin in, by in. He also won the high (Ireland) in the top match. There jump. W. B. Legg equalled the South African record of 4-5 sec. in winning the hundred yards, and also carried off the 220 yards, while . B. Hart was first in the 190 yards hurdles The Achilles team' were troubled by the high altitude, and several of them had attacks of pose-bleeding. Their high-jumper, A. R. Lo Fleming, who was left at Kimberley suffering from influenza, was convalescent, but he was not to join the team until they reached Johannesburg.

122

7 B 19

110

119: 20

233

126

140

44 45

147

149

15)

18-Mother sheep (plural).

19-Thick broth.

-Windier.

HOW TO BE FREE- BUT MARRIED.

23-To follow by blues.

25-Quiets.

27,--Before.

.28.-Spanish for river.

Horizontal

1. Social class

6.-Absence of discord. 11.-City in Portugal. 13. Having a chair. 14.-Above.

15.-Swiss singer. 17.-Pronoun.

18.-Child's food.

90.-More modern.

21.-Jewel.

32.-Narrow opening..

94.To stitch,

25. The moon.

20-Emphasis.

28.-Coating caused by oxydation.

29.-Ancient Irish capital.

30.-Sediment.

31.-Step.

32. Unemotional."

34.-Wise man.

25.-Malt liquor.

38.-Observes.

38.-Cravat. 39.-Prevaricators. 41.-To saak.

42-Conjunction.

13.-One suddenly raised to bigh

position.

45.-Father.

48.-Forgives,

48.-A relative,

50.-Girl's name.

31-A fruit (plural).

Vertical.

1. Sudden political strokes.

---Terrifies.

3. Thus,

4.To attempt,

5.-Short jacket.

To look inquiringly.

7-Organ of head.

8.-By.

9. To unite firmly," 10.-Dropsy.

12-Black Sen city.

13.-Killed.

30-Metrie cubie units.

31.-Coupled.

39.-Member of European race.

--Further down.

34-Shop.

35.-Tunes.

37-Stellar bodies,

30.-Narrow board.

40--To cut.

43-Hole in ground.

44.-To empty. 47-Musical note. 40.-Symbol for tantalum.

This puzzle took 20 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve,

YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.

TO. 1468

was no more than a hole between the couples until the fifteenth, which the Irishmen won to become tenth in three to keep the match two up. The Scots won the seven- alive, but could only halve the eigh teenth, and so lost the match.

Ireland started the Singles in splendid style, and won four of the five games to hold a remaining five, and so, halving the series, lost the encounter by the foursomes margin of one point-8 games to 7 on the day,

The meeting of W. B. Torrance (Scotland), and Major C. O. Hezlet in the leading game produced an interesting tussle. Hezlet was three (Continued on' next Column).

down at the turn, from which point he started a winning fight. He them holed his approach as the not a hole hack at the eleventh, and

thirteenth for a three to be only che dawn. Torrance became two up at the fifteenth, but weak putting by the Scot cost him the next two holes. The match was now square, and to the home hole Hezlet laid his spoon shot almost dead-a great shot which he himself described as the best of his career. Torrance topped his second, and on failing to sink a longish putt for a four he did not ask Hazlet to putt, the Irishman thus winning by a hole

THE WOMAN'S CORNER.

Not until two persons who love each other have tried marriage at its best do they discover how many kinds of freedom it vouchsafes.

Instead of making life more com- plicated marriage should make it far more simple and secure.

Two persons, working together; can keep a home with less effort by sharing its labours and responsi- bilities,"

Marriage, alone, ensures love's 'freedom, all other conditions of Bexual life being fraught with worry, danger and fear.

"if she has loved her husband, not

merely as she wanted to love him, but as he preferred to be loved, he will cherish her and honour her to the end of her days

►

The

Charlatan

with HOLMES HERBERT, ROCKLIFFE FELLOWES, MARGARET LIVINGSTON,

FRED MacKAYE. AT THE

QUEEN'S TODAY & TO-MORROW

At 2.80, 5.10, 7.15 * 9.20,

WILLIAM DAINES

EXCESS BAGGAGE

AT THE

STAR

FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY Ar 5.30

DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS

THE THREE MUSKETEERS

AT THE

WORLD

TO-DAY & TO-MORROW "Continuous Performance FROM 1.15 To 11.15

STAR THEATRE

NIGHTLY AT 9.15 PM:

EDGAR WARWICK Presents the

WARWICK REVUE Co.

IN 'REVIEWS OF THE REVUES.

TO-DAY

OCT. 15th

TO-MORROW^THURSDAY

OCT. 16th &. 17th

FRIDAY & SATURDAY

OCT. 18th & 19th

CLEVER COMEDY! DELICIOUS DANCING! ELEGANT SETTINGS!

CINEMA NOTES.

THE CHARLATAN AT THE

QUEEN'S.

The foibles of scristy. women who dabble in the intricacies of my- siicism at soirees and seances, sul- jecting themselves, their fortunes.

d their affairs to the phantasies. of a crystal ball and the scheming | of fakirs, form the theme of "The Charlatan." the Universal produc tion which opens at the Queen's Theatre to-day.

teen the patrons of every kind of Women, in particular, have long

fortune-teller, from the lowly

ypsy to the suave,

11 Beer

not grad and suficient reasons for that convention, marriage overs an- Luther excellent inducement in that

it usually hatres human wog.

What experience is so harrowing

Only men and women who have opular at society teas.

The far-reaching effects of these as to have to bear trouble alone? known a happy marriage realise

fortunes," whether they emerge that it offers the maximum of free from a deck of cards, tea leaves in Only they who can

pour their

dom, that in good seasons it is a the bottom of a cup or from the griefs and anxieties into sympathe-gay. affair and that in stormy, more elaborate methods of Hindu tie çará gain any sense of freedom changing weathers it has consola ritual is shown in "The Char

tions such as

bachelordom and jatan." From them. One of the finest ser-

spinsterhood never know, vices a wife can tender is to act as her husband's worry and problem repository.

•

Happy marriage, of course, rules out such misinterpretation of the 'contract as a wife's playing detec A real wife is a fortress to her demanding an accounting of every tive on her husband, of a husband's husband when the world assails shilling and every hour his wife him; if his hopes have been strat spends.. tered and his spirit crushed, that

is no time for a woman to display It is not un speaking terms with the allurements of a mistress.agging fear of infidelity, or any What he needs is a bit of mother-one of the spectree that" jealousy ing such as only a wife can give. conjures. It makes room always Should he have suffered no mis prection of opinion. A distenting for a spontaneous and frank er fortune greater than the loss of rate has no depressing effect upon his hair and his figure, and should te atmosphere, and it seldom so le be lucky enough to have a wife

much as "produces who looks at him with the eyes of silence, and certainly never a black affection, he will not be without funk. respect and honour in his own bome.

Likewise, a good husband clears his wife's sky of the clouds of petty Only in marriage may men and trouble with a timely "I under- women have children with security. stand, my dear" or an affectionate GOThat a bold spirit here and there tor sorrow

"There, there!" Should some bit come to her, it is 1013 braver motherhood without benefit | alleviated to the point of endurance

g clergy proves nothing about by his kindness and his love.

society at large.

If giving a father's name tó hội children and in accuring through marriage their property rights were}

If she lives long enough to lose her youth and her beauty that is physical, she need not worry. If she has been a faithful wife, and

ominica

Holmes Herbert, plays the Hindu seer, supported by a brilliant cast, including Rockliffe Fellowes. Yar garet Livingston, Anita Garvin, Graufurd Kent.

THE MERRY-CO ROUND

A JOYOUS MISCELLANY

AIRY NOTHINGS

JUST FOR FUN

N'EVERYTHING

A POPULAR POT-POURRI BOOKING AT MOUTRIE'S AND THE STAR THEATRE PRICES: $3, $2, $1.

HONG KONG POLICE RESERVE.

[ORDERS BY HON, MR. T.'.' KING, ACTING CAPTAIN SUPERINTEN- DEST OF POLICE,]

Chinese Company.

Squad DAILL-All recruits of the Chinese Company will attend at Central Police Station on Thurs- day, October 17, at 3.30 p.m. sharp, for squad drill under P/Sergt. R. J. Hunt. Drees: Mufti.

Indian Company. SQUAD DRILL-All recruits of the Indian Company will attend Police Headquarters for squad drill under P/Sergt. R. J. Hunt on Tuesday, October 15 and 22, at 5.30 p.m. sharp. Dress: Mufti.

Flying Squad.

The fortnightly patrol of the Hong Kong Section will take place on Thursday, October 17 Fall in at the Central Police Station at 5.16 p.m. sharp. Dress: Khaki uniform. The next fortnightly patrol of the Kowloon Section will take place on Tuesday, October 22. Fall in at the Tsim-tan-teui Fire Brigade Station at 5.30 p.m, sharp, Dress: Khaki uniform.

LESSON SERMON. FIRST CHURCH OF CHRIST, SCIENTIST, HONG KONG.

Sharpshooters' Company. "Are sin. disease, and death

REVOLVER PRACTICE. Revolver on-Sermon in all Churches of Kennedy Road Range on Sunday, real?" was the subject of the Les practice will be carried out on Christ, Scientist,

October 27, at 10 a.m. Sunday, од

Membera October 13,

will assemble at the range at that Among the citations which com-time, with belts and holster with. prised the Lesson Sermon was the revolvers. Uniform optional, following from the Bible: "The

Sd. W. KENT, A.S.P., Indeed, the whole trend of mo-

Lord is good to all: and his tender

Adjutant" dern marriage is toward an intel- mercies are over all his works. All ligent regard for personality, and thy works shall praise thee, O Lord;

Hong Kong. Oct. 14, 1829. a larger freedom which is coming and thy saints all bless thee. just as certainly as shorter hours The Lord is righteous in all his of labour, longer hours for leisure, ways, and holy in all his works". trans-continental and trans-oceanic (Ps. 145: 0, 10, 17). air travel, and television in our homes. In fact, in many places it is already here.

What change, think you, could make a finer contribution to human happiness than a sane freedom in marriage, and the purging of love's desire to dominate and oppress!

·ON SALE,

BOUND the following passages from the D BONG

VOLUMES of tha KONG WEEKLY

The Lesson-Sermon also included

Christian Science text-book, "Sei-' PRESS, July to December, 1928. once and Health with Key to the Scriptures," by Mary Baker Eddy: WITH TEPEX, Pator-$7.30.

Sin, sickness, and death must be deemed as devoid of reality as they are of good, God (P.595).

1929-10-15 — Page 3

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