1929-10-14 — Page 3

.

HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.

Guest: This steak is so thin that I can read through it?"

Water Yes, sir. What do you wish to rehd 1"

"You have never worked before 1" "No, sir."

"Then you have no references?"? "Only a diploma.”

Customer: "1 want a really good car-one out of the ordinary."

Salesman: "What about one that is paid for in advaney?"

First Stenographer: "I don't Jike his pie crust."

Second Ditto: "No, it's as pale as the fourth carbon copy."

Tourists there a drugstore in town?"

Native: "No, but stop in a while and I'll have my wife get ye up a snack,"

"Mrs. Smith always offers you home-uude jam when you go to ten."

"Yes, I don't believe any of her family will touch it."

He was spending his first team at a hoarding school, and his par; cats anxiously awaited the arrival of his first letter.

It was not received for more than a week, and it was short and to the point:

"Dear People: I don't think I shall be able to send "you any letters while I'm here. You' Bee, when things are happening. I haven't time to write; and when they aren't happening, I haven't anything to tell you. With love to all, Harry."

A well-known. comedian is very proud of his three beautiful and inlented daughters.

One day an acquaintance and ad- mirer of the comedian was talking to him about the family.

A funny thing." he remarked," you have nothing but these three girls"

£1

The comedian looked friend in astonishment.

at

his

Nothing but girls!" he echoed. Why, my dear old chap, I wish you were right. As it is, "we've "nothing but boys all over the

place.

121

"Why do I see you walking so much lately, Fred?"

"I'm reducing."

THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, OCTOBER 14, 1929.

"Reducing! You're not fat. What are you reducing?"

"Expenses."

The Lady Ok, there is still some dew on these wonderful flo- wera you brought me."

know, but I'll settle up for them Her. Benu (absently): Yes, I

on pay day."

"Mother," asked little Jack, "is it correct to say that you water`n horse when he is thirsty

"Yes, dear," replied his mother, "Well, then," said Jack, picking up a saucer, "I'm going to milk the cat.

Dauber "My picture was turned down by the exhibition hanging committee. I don't believe they even looked at it."

Friend: "Nonsense. They must done such a thing."... have seen it or they wouldn't have

"Bear in mind that the big potu. toes are always to be found at the top of the heap," said the success- ful man

"But if it wasn't for the rest of us there wouldn't he any heap,' suggested the failure.

ma.

•

One day when there was fish for dinner, le Lillian said, "Mam-

I know what shad is." What is it, dear 1" queried her mother.

"It's a porepine turned outside was the triumphant expland-

in

tion.

Little Charles was learning the alphabet.

Now, this is big, U," said his mother, pointing to the capital let- tur; and this one beside it is little 13. Can you remember that ?"

"Oh, yes," the child replied, confidently.

The next day his mother pointed to the same letters again."

Can you tell me this morning what these letters are 1 she asked him.

Charlea's face beamed with pride as his chubby little finger pointed to the hold letters in his book.

This," he said, "is big me and this is little me.'

CROSSWORD PUZZLE,

18

19

110

GETTING THE FAMILY UP.

By GLUYAS WILLIAMS

Gwybo

WILL PETS

WAKES UP. LISTENS TO SEE WHETHER MOTHER AND DADDY ARE STIRRING YET

PLAYS WITH TOES FOR A

WHILE

LISTENS AGAIN. SEEMS TO HIM IT'S TIME THEY WERE

GETTING .UP

ROLLS OVER AND CROGNS 70 HIS FINGERS

NO SOURD YET. SAY, THERE ARE LIMITS TO ANYBODY'S

PATIENCE

15 DIVERTED FOR THE MOMENT

BY A CHEERFUL SPOT OF SUN-

· EIGHT" TUCKERING ON THE WALL

RETURNS TO BUSINESS OF

THERE! HEARS MOTHER SIGH, AND DADDY GROAN, THEY'RE

OP AT LAST

GETTING PARENTS UP DECDES HE MOST HAVE ACTION. (Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)

HOME FOOTBALL, RESULTS.

FOUR TOP POSITION SENIOR TEAMS DRAW.

LEADING POSITIONS REMAIN UNALTERED.

GLASGOW CUP FINAL DRAWN,

There were a few minor changes in the League tables "as a result of Saturday's foodall matches at Home. Of the five teams at the top of the First Division, only Leeds United, the leaders, took full points, the other four including last season's champions, Sheffield Wednesday, playing to draw at one goal each, with the cxception of Manchester City, who shared four goals with the lowly placed Portsmouth. Aston Villa, at home, defeated Everton by five goals to two. Manchester United being also beaten by a similar score in receiving Grimsby.

Wolverhampton in the Second Division, bent Notts County five goals to one and took a place beside the lenders, Oldham, who accounted for the 'Spurs.

Exeter, in the Southern Section, gained the highest score of the day, 61, at home against Crystal Palace. Plymouth continue to lead, while Brentford changed places with Southend on goal average. In Northern Section matches, Carlisle surprised Wrex- ham with a 3-1 victory, Rochdale also defeating Accrington by four clear goals.

N

Owing to Cup matches, two Secttish League fixtures were post- poned Celtic and Rangers were engaged in the final of the Glas gow Cup which ended in a goalless draw.

Results of matches as cabled by Reuter and revised League tables follow:

ENGLISH LEAGUE.

Arsonal

12

IS

16

17 18

19

20

22

123

Division I

1 Derby

24 25

26

27

123

Aston Vila... 5 Everton

31

32

34

35

-36.

38

Blackbaru .. 0 Sheffield U. Leeds Ui 2 Bolton Liverpool Birmingham... 1 Manchester U. ↑ Grimsby Middlesbro... I. Euddersfield... 3

1

46 47

Newcastle. Burnley Portsmouth... Manchester 0.2 Wednesday..... 1 Sunderland West Ham... 1 Leicester

I

1

Division IL

43 144

48

51

155

Horizontal.

1-Highest point.

5.Brick carrying device.

E--Speck

12-Clumsy person.

13-Part of "to be"

88 3

14.-To wish for expectantly,

156

15.-Bands worn about waist. 17.--Indites.

19. Not the same.

20.-Concerning.

Ꭸ

91.-Goddess of mischief

23.-Bearing,

24.-Web 'soil.

26.-Painter's frame.

26.--Sunburn.

31. While.

39.-Large tub.

33. To depart.

34-A colour.

38-To marry again,

38,-Decay.

39.--Love god.

41.Withered.

43. Having fat surface.

45.-Flowers.

48,-Makes up for.

50.-Sullied.

51.-Repetition,

-52-

possess lawfully. 34.--Otherwise. 30.—Was aware of. 66.A number. .3.~~Pace,

Vertical.

1.--Too.. 2-Outer garment. 3-Drave dog team. 4-Anesthetic.

5.--Possesses 6.Conjunction. 7.-Moisture. 8.To glisten. 9.-Powerful 10.Unclosed. 11.-Trial;

41

45

50

₤42

16.—A Jake. 15. To scold. 22.-Accumulates, 23.-Apportions. 2.To deface... 23.-To employ. 27.-Adage.

9.-In time part. 30.-Negative.

35. To dedicate.

36.--Part in drama.

.37.-Skin.

38.-Outcome.

12.-Heavy cords.

Blackpool 3 Cardiff Bradford C.... 9 Bristal C. Bury!

Chelsea

Hull

2 Barnsley

1 Bradford

0 Charlton

........

INTERNATIONAL MATCH.

At Londondary, in an amateur Laternational ich. Ireland lost to Scotland.

The winners scored

three goals to nil.

LEAGUE TABLES, ENGLISH LEAGUE. Division I,

P. W. D. L. F. A. Pts. Loods U.....10.19 19 11 15- Wednesday... 0 3 2 1911 19 Arsenal....10 3 3 20 15 12 Manch C.

... D 5 2 2 99 18 1 Derby 10 3 2 3 18 15 12 Grimsby 10 4 3 3 21 19 1 Sheffield U. 10 4 3 3 90 19 11 Aston Villa.10 5 1,4 22 23 11 Midlesbro, 194 2 4 23 18 20

Millwall 1 Southampton... 1 Birmingham 2 3 24 19 10

Notts Forest... 0 West Brom Oldliam .......... 2 Tottentiaza

Stoke

Swansen

Wolves

Reading

Preston N.E...

0

Licester... 9. 4 3 3 19 14 10 2 Blackburn 10 3 4 3 21 20 10 West Ham...10 4 2 4 23 20 10 Newcastle...10 3 0 5 20 25 10

5 Notts C.Liverpool10 4 2 4 13 17 Division III (Southern). Huddersfield 10 4 2 4 17 21.10

Bournemouth... 0 Queen's 1.R.... o Everton .....li 2 5 4 9121

Brentford... 3. Coventry

Brighton 3 Newport

Bristol R... 1 Watford .......

| Clapton O. ........'1 Walsall

Exeter

1 Bolton10 3 2 5 15 17 Burnley.10 3.25 17 23

2 Manch U. 10 3 0 7 14 96

1 Sunderland 0 1 3 11 18

6 Crystal P. .....1 Fortsmonth 10 0 4 € 0 23 Luton ........... 4 Fulham .........

Northampton..

Gillingha

Merthyr

Southend 1 Norwich

2 Torquay Division III. (Northern),

> Wrexham

40. To revive.

Plymouth

13.A gay, time.

Swindon

44.-English school town. 40.-Gaelic.

|Carlisle

47.-To percolate.

Crewe

49. Habitual drunkard.

30.--Tavern.

Halifax Lincoln

53.Pronoun..

... 1

2 New Brighton

0 Hartlepools ... ? Chesterfield Nclaca .............................2. Berrow ....... Rochdale ... Accrington ...

This puzzle took 23 minutes to Rotherbam .... 1 Darlington solve. See how long it will take Southport you to solve it,

SATURDAY'S SOLUTIÖN.

10.1464

BABE BZAZA 2287137IBOND OIRADAHABT-NA VIA EZANA BEN 8008 BDI RIZZ 380 DOLBOKS

400 - 200- BRTREAMZAZDR BAIN AZEEZAO OER BIOTA BAR 18 FILCHIN 20KA20100200

..... 1 Port Vale Tranmere ...... 2 Doncaster Wigan

.....1 South Shield York City 1 Stockport

SCOTTISH LEAGUE.

8

5

4

Division II.

P. W. D. L. F. A. Pts. Oldham ...... 9.6 2 1 18.9 74 1 Walves......11 6 2 3 26 13 14

Blackpool...!

D 1. 0 2 2

18 14 Stoke 43.9 27 23 13 18'thampton 10 23 24 18 19 3 Reading....10 4 4 2 13 11 1. Bradford 10 2 2 18.18 12

1 West Brom. 9 5 1 34 14 11

o Charlton ...10 4 3 2 19.17 11

Cardiff ......11

Notte C.....11 Hull

1 Chelses

9

3 4 12 13 1 4 4 3 4 16 18 11 104 33 11 13 11 5 0 4 20 15 10 9. 5 1 | Bradford C. 10 4 2 4 18 10 10

Bury

4 1 4 20 20 Tottenham...10 53.4 17 18 Bristol C....10 33.19 24 8 Swansea...30 235 14127 Division L

Barnsley... 0 22.6 10206 .... 4 Ayr United'... 1 } Millwall ....10 0 5 5 13 25 ..........Morton 1 Preston10 1.2 11 25 4

Aberdeen Clyde

WITH THAT OFF HIS MIND, DROPS OFF TO SLEEP ASAN

9.18

8

Fulhany 10 33 3 4 14 Norwich 10 3 3 4 16 21 Exeter...10 3 5 14 18 Crystal P. 396 15 24 Bristol R....10 2 3 5 13 13 Watford ...10 3.1 6 1 18 Clapton O. 10 1 3 4 8 15 7 Newport....10 22 6 9 17 $ Torquay 10 2 2 6 13 20 6 Gillingham 10 2 17 18 5, Merthyr .... 9 1

024 Division III. (Northern).

20

Reginald Denny CLEAR THE DECKS

AT THE

in

QUEEN'S FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY

At 2.80, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20,

WILLIAM HAINES

IN

EXCESS BAGGAGE

AT THE

STAR

TO-DAY & TO-MORROW

At 5.30

DOUGLAS FAIRBANKS

IN

THE THREE MUSKETEERS

AT THE

WORLD

TO-DAY & TO-MORROW

Continuous Performance FROM 1.15 TO 11.15

STAR THEATRE

NIGHTLY AT 9.15PM.

EDGAR WARWICK Presents the

WARWICK REVUE Co..

IN REVIEWS OF THE REVUES.

TO-DAY & TO-MORROW THE MERRY-CO-ROUND

OCT. 14th & 15th

WEDNESDAY & THURSDAY

0

1

OCT. 16th & 17th

P. W. D. L. F. A. Pts. Port Vale... 10 0 1 32 8 93 Stockport... 0, 6 3 1 28 10 1 Darlington 10 8 1 3 98 20 13 Tranmere...10 3 2 3 23 17 12 Accrington...20 4 4 2 21 16 12 S. Shields 93 29 13 11 12 Fiochdale 9 32 18 17 12 Стоже

913 19 12 11 Lincoln

.10 B2 13 14 10 York

10

3 13 15 Carlisle 10 4 1 5 21, 20 Nelsor 11 4 1 6 16 97 Wigan

9 3 24 19 19 S Chesterfield 9 3 2 4 11 12 Wrexham...10 2 4 4 17 19 Southport... 8 3

2.4 Hartlepools D 1 0 2 9 13 8 Doncaster 1 3 6 10 18 Rotherhamn... 9 3 1 3 12 19 N. Brighton 10 3 0 7.10 26 Halifax.11 1 3 7 10 17 Barrow... 9 2 1 6 12 24 5 SCOTTISH LEAGUE.

16 18.

ផ

P. W. I. L. F. A. Pt. Aberdeen ...11 8 2 1 31 17 18 Hearts Rangers 10. 1 2 17 0 15

10 Kilmarnock 10 6 22 22 13 14 22 21.10, 14 Celtic 9 11 22 10 13 Motherwell.10 5 2 Partick 19

17 10 12

20 10 -12

13 11

4 3 3 21 19 11

A JOYOUS MISCELLANY

AIRY NOTHINGS

JUST FOR FUN

FRIDAY & SATURDAY N'EVERYTHING

OCT. 18th & 19th

CLEVER COMEDY! DELICIOUS DANCING! ELEGANT SETTING!

Keep

9 0

for

St. Mirren...10 3 Hamilton ...10 Falkirk......10 4 2 4 14 20 10 C'denbenth 44 10 11 10 Dunder ....10 3 3 4 712 AST

10415 17 24 St. J'stone 10 20 14, 19 Clyde 19 2.2 8 17 23 Hibernians 10 2 9 6 13 19 Airdrie .10 3 0 7 12 to Morton ....10 2 4 6 10 27 Queen's Pk. 10 2 17 8 10 Dundee U....0 2 1 8 13 20

PROFESSIONAL GOLF FOURSOME,

"OLD FIEM" WINS.

(THROUGH REUTER'S AGENCT.}

A POPULAR POT-POURRI BOOKING AT MOUTRIE'S AND THE STAR THEATRE PRICES: $3, $2, $1.

PEPS

always Handy

COUGHS.COLDS&CHILLS

Chemists and medisine desiers everywhere sail Page"

VACCINATION CAMPAIGN.

TO BE STARTED THIS WEEK.

ARRANGEMENTS BY ST. JOHN AMBULANCE BRIGADE.

LONDON. Oct. 12. At Brockenhurst Manor, Hamp shire, in a 36 holes foursome, for a purse of 250 the famous partner. At the request of the Medical thip of Georgo Duncan and Abe Department the members of the Mitchell beat Archie Compsion and St. John Ambulance Brigade have Henry Cotton by one hole.

ENGLISH LADIES'

GOLF.

VICTORY FOR MISS COURLAY.

(THROUGH KKUTER'S AGENCY.)

LONDON, Oct. 11, As generally expected, Miss Molly Gourlay, Camberley Heath, won the English Ladies' Opca Golf Championship to-day, defeating Miss Diana Fishwick, North Fore land, in the final by six up and five, to play

The match was over thirty-six holes, and was played at Broad 3 stone, Dorset,

Indian Division. Indian com. munity,

Chinese Athletic.-From Wanchai. Police Station to Causeway Bay.

St. Joseph's Division, Queen's Road East.

Motor Drivers' Division,+-Out- lying Areas" (Stanley, Aberdeen; | etc.).

Victoria Nursing Division.-Ces- tres at Belilios Public School and King's College.

YMCA, Nursing Division- Centre at Y.W.C.A. Headquarters.

Circular No. 3 states that statis. arranged to commence, this week, astrect vaccination campaiga, on tical returns of the Medical Depart

ment indicate that the greatest lines similar to that of last year.

So charges whatsoever are made, number of cases of smallpox occur,

amongst babies, young the whole work being voluntary.

children; Supplies are drawn from the and adults who have not been vac- Government Medical and Bacteriocinated.

Vaccinators are requested to con- logical Departments,

Employers of labour and Heade, centrate their efforts upon these of Schools are informed that vac sections of the community.

The instructions state, among cination will be carried out to suit their convenience, on their pre other things that all vaccinators The mises, if application is made to the must wear brigade uniform.

customary courtesiës must be ob Brigade District Superintendent.

Householders are requested to served, Vaccination is optional and Accord their servante facilities tono force or compulsion is to be

used. Under be vaccinated at an early date.

circumstances A circular issued by the Brigade whatever is money to be asked for states that for purposes of the or taken. campaign the whole Colony has been divided into areas as follows: Railway Divion.-Villages in

Cowdenbeath... 0 Motherwell... 6 Notta F. 10 04 8 20 4 FRANCE WINS AT QUEEN'S Proximity of Railway Stations. Falkirk Hearts................ 3 Hamilton..... 2 Dundeo

Hiberniaan.... 3 Partick

Division IIL. (Southern),

P. W. D. L. F. A. Pts. Mymouth...10 8 2 0 25 0.19 Kilmarnock... 3 St. Johnstone. 1 Brentford 10.7 2 1 23 10 18 St Mirren ....0 Airdrie

GLASGOW CUP.

Southend 10 7 2 12 11 18 Northante 10 8 0 2 20 7 16 Coventry 100 29.2113.14 B'nemouth 10 3 2 23 13 13

The Glasgow Cap finial was play-Brighton 10 6 13 22 17 13 ed at Hampden Park on Saturday, Walsall 4 a 421 17 11 Celtic meeting the Rangers. The Queen's P.R.10 3 4 3 0 11 10 result was a draw, no goals being | Swindon ...11 4.2 5 23 23 10 Bored,

Luton .........10 3 3 4 17 179

J

CLUB.

TILDEN AND SPENCE BEATEN.

(THROUGH RHUTER'A AGENCY,Į

LONDON, Oct. 12. At Queen's Club on the conclud. ing day France won the match by

Kowloon Division.-From Kow Joon Peninsula to East side of Yaumati Police Station, Hunghom and Kowloon City..

Mongkok Division.--From Werti ride of Yaumati Police Station to Shumahuipo and beyond,

King's College Division.-From No, 1 Queen's Rond, W. to Kennedy Town.

Y.M.C.A. Division. From Posses-

10 games to 5. Borotra beat Tilden sion Street to Garden Road. 16-8, 9-7, and Boroind and Glaeser

Shaukiwan Division.--Shaukiwan

beat Tilden and Spence 6-8, 6-3, 6-1. and Quarry Bay.

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