1929-09-28 — Page 3

HUMOUR: ANCIENT ÄND MODERN.

An old farmer was picked up on the highway and given a lift by a reckless driver. As he got out he said: Thank you very much for both rides.

*** What do you mean both rides 1" asked the benefactor.

"You have given me my first and my, last," was the agrarian answer.

"Here's your scales, Mr. Skin- her," said George," walking into the butcher shop and handing the senies to the man who stood behind the counter.

mas

All right. son replied the May I ask why your par ents wanted to borrow my scafés ?'' "Well, we've got a new baby at our house, replied George, and

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THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 28, 1929.

opinion of the King's singing, Rossini - deftly replied..“ Never. have I heard a king sing better."

Fairly Distinguished Cricketer: But I've signed your book be fore,"

The Collector: Yes, sir, when I get eight of yours I can swop 'ema for one of Hobbs.'

He: "I suppose I'm only a jeb- ble on the beach of your life.”**

Shu: That is true, but you might stand a chance

you were a little boulder.”.

Mistress: So you have a "situa- tion with my friend, Mrs. Long. Mary Did you tell her you have

we wanted to weigh him, but walonly been with me for two didn't have any scales."

I see.

beamed Mr. Skinner. "And how much did the baby weigh 7

Thirty-five pounds, sir

Lady (in registry office); "How mang maids do you place in a week 1

Clerk: • Between forty and fifty,"

Lady Really. That must be about two thousand a year."

Clerke I don't know-it's al- ways the same fifty."

When Webster was a boy in the listrict school, he was not noted for tidiness. Finally the teacher, in despair, told him that if he ap peared again with such dirty hands she would punish him. He did ap pear, in the same condition.

Daniel." she said, "bold out your hand."

months ?"

Mary: “ Yes, anum, and she said that if I could stay with you for Lao months that was a good enough reference for her,"

די

"Have you anything to say, prisoner, before I pass sentence ?** asked the judge.

No, your honour, except that

it takes very little to please me.

"What are you doing" Enameling my enr.

Why are you doing it so quick

1:

"

enamel is used up.'

To get it done before all the

A famous lawyer, after a heated argument with a judge, deliberate- started to walk away. ly turned his back on the,bench and

"Are you trying, sir, to show contempt for the court 1 naked the judge sternly,

Daniel spat on his palm, rubbed it on the seat of his trousers, and held it on. The teacher surreyedam i; in disgust.

Daniel," she said, "if you can find me another hand in this school that is dirtier than that, I' will let you off."

Daniel promptly held cut the other hand. and she had to keep Her word.

Dom Luiz, King of Portugal, fancied himself a singer; and when Rossini was his guest he asked if he might sing for the great com-

No, air," was the reply. trying to conceal it."

I

vised by his attorney to plead An Irishman, who had been ad- guilty ca a first offender, stood in the dock.

asked, the judge.

Are you guilty or not guilty?" Guilty, yer Honour, and I've got witnesses to prove it.

ཡ—

"Contr. come," he said to his friend, who had lost heavily on the Stock Exchange. you mustn't worry too much about ill-fortune. Come to my office to-morrow and Rossini agreed, of course, but he'll give you some pointers.' found the royal voice very poor. It's not pointers I want; it's

When asked by a courtier for his retrievers."

10301.

CROSSWORD PUZZLE.

6

18 19

12

94

16

18

20

22

24

26

30

32 83

142

146

50

51

Horizontal,

1.-To repair.

6. Having foot gear.

11.-To go to bed. 12.-Sorted,

• 14.--Conjunction.

15.-Took game unlawfully, 17.-Pronoun.

18.Wet earth.

20.-Checkered cloth

21.-Sport.

29.-Related.

24.-Type units.

25.-Kind.

20.-Sea nymph.

38.-Shade trees.

30.-Sailor.

31.-Chum.

*39.-Steeples.

35.-Refusal.

38.-Metal-bearing rock (plural),

39.-Before.

41. A gambling game,

42.A pro-Volstead Axture.

45.-Turf.

47,-Associate.

30.-To rest.

43.-Wading birds.

46.-Latin for and

10-Prefix: down.

32.--Annoys.

55.--Margins.

Vertical.

54.-Noted, as to, tima.

1.-Wig.

2-By.

3.-End.

4.To bab,

5.-Cured.

B-Division of church into fac

tions.

7-Coloured.

8.-Antique.

-Spanish article.

10.-Coy.

8

55

40

36 137

13. Small depressions.

16.-Batating piece.

19. More soiled. 91.-Acts of foolishness, 23.Approaches.

95.--To punish corporally, 2.-Anger. 29.-A simian, 39.-Sedate. 33.-Talked idly. 34.-Furrowed.

رو

-35.-To strike out.

34.-Positive electric terminal. 37.-Mineral veins.

49.-To tear.

44.-Ovule.

47.-Bed.

13-A flower.

48.-Torn cloth.

51.-Father.

53. Symbol for selenium.

THE MINUTE THAT SEEMS A YEAR

QWYD'S WALIANS

Y

By GLUYAS WILLIAMS

JUST AS YOU'RE BEGINNING TO THINK THAT AFTER ALL YOU MAY EVENTUALLY. GET THE TRUNK CLOSED, THE CHILDREN AP- PEAR WITH THE FOLLOWING ARTICLES REQUIRING TRANSPORTATION: TOY SAILBOAT, I STAR- FISH, 2 INTERESTING SPECIMENS OF FUNGUS GROWTH, I LARGE BOX CONTAINING COLLECTION OF BEACH PEBBLES AND SEA SHELLS, 11⁄2 DAMP BATHING SUITS, AND I GREEN SNAKE IN A CAN

(Copyright, 1920, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)

SPORT AND"

FOOTBALL IN GERMANY. The team of players now in Ger many, who went out under, the auspices of the Trade Union and Labour Sports Movement of Great Britain, are having a highly suc

cessful tour.

they have received both surprised The cordiality of the welcome and delighted them. There is no to promote good fellowship between doubt that the visit will do much the working classes of the two great peoples.

The interest in the matches they have played is tremendous. Át Hamburg the spectators numbered some 15,000, and there was a simi lar number at Bremen.

There were numerous thrills at Hamburg, and each side scored four goals. The British were much the superior side at Bremen, where they won 1-0).

Unfortunately, E. McCracken, the Irish amateur international gcal-keeper, was taken il before the first match was played, and T. McMurray, the youthful King stonian forward, deputised be tween the post.

A RISE IN THE WORLD. a Turner (Earlestown Viaduct AC.), the Northern Countica champion, in an attempt to beat! the English record of etc. Bins., cleared eft. sing. while winning the high jump handicap from scratch at the Burnley District Police

sports at Weste.

ATHLETICS.

FAMOUS RUNNER HURT. J. E. Webster (Birchfeld Hai- riers), who started from the scratch mark in the eight-laps open steeple. chase handicap at the Glasgow Rangers' sports injured an ankle at the last obstacle and was carried from the ground on a stretcher.

J. E. London (Polytechnic H.),

invitation handicap and finished the British 100 yards champion, ran from scratch in the 120 yards third

the winner, Ian Borland plished the fast time of 11 4-secs. (Glasgow University), who accom- off 9 yards. Borinnd also won the 200 yards invitation hurdles handi.

cap..

Birchfield Harriers won the in- vitation relay race in 4mins. 44 4 5secs.

r

TAYLOR'S SOULLING

VICTORY.

the annual sculling race for the C. F. Taylor, of Blackwall; won Doggett's Cout and Badge on the Thames, covering the distance from London Bridge to Chelsea Bridge about four and a half miles in

20mins. 35accè.

F. A. Hammerton (Twickenham), Green (Mortlake) third, in 30rains, was second in 30mina, aseca,, T. II.

fourth, in 33mins. 14secs., and W. F. Phelps (Putney),

T. H. Peters (Chiswick) was fifth, and F. H. Jones, the remain ing competitor, capsized early in

the race.

CUTHBERT'S DETZAT."

The exploits of the real heroines of the World War!

HENRY KING'S

SHE

GOES TO WAR

ELEANOR. BOAR OMÁN

JOHN HOLLAND 2 AL ST. JOHA QUNITED ARTISTS-PICTURES AT THE

QUEEN'S

AT THE

AT

SHARE BORJA

FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY

At 2.80, 5.10, 7.159.20.

WILLIAM NO PRESENTS

GIRLS GONE WILD

BLUE

FINAL

SHOWINGS

TODAY

料

at

2.30, 6.30 & 8.20.

SKIES

FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY. Continuous Performance From 1.15 to 11.15.

DISARMAMENT VIEWS.

JAPAN'S OPINION ON RATIOS.

[United Press.]

The defeat of Johnny Cuthbert, the featherweight champion, by

Tokyo. The Foreign Office in. Dom Volante at Liverpool did not Tokyo is receiving regular reports come as a surprise to his followers, from the Japanese Ambassador in Volante has been a persistent chal. London, Mr. Tauzeo Matsudaira, On lenger during the season, and and the Ambassador in Washing though the fight was not at strichton, Mr. K. Debuchi, regarding the championship' weight, the Board of Anglo-American naval conversa. Control will now have to consider tions; but does not envisage u him seriously as the rightful op-tuation, which will draw Japan ponent. He has left for the Unit-into thess, conversations before an Andre Routis for the world cham- two great sex Powers, according to ed States and will probably fight agreement is reached between the pionship.

reliable information hare.

NOT A SET LOST IN TOURNAMENT.

NELSON DAY MONDAY, Oct. 21st, at 9 p.m.

CONCERT

AT THE

"LEE, THEATRE. KEEP THE DATE OPEN.

(8367

CINEMA NEWS.

SHE GOES TO WAR."

Among the thrilling exploits of

Reports from London that Japan might be called into the direct con- The semi-finals at Reigate were versation at no early date are not carried to three sets, Miss Harvey received seriously in Tokyo, where the women during the great war, winning an exhausting struggle the Government is following merely one of the most amazing is brought with Mrs. Jameson by 6-1, 00,

retrieving beat Miss Sanderson by naval limitations will be stated first woman's regiment of Russin 6-3, while Miss Goldsack, by a waiting policy. It is not likely to light in the achievements of Vera dint of patience and industrious the Japanese programme towards

Botchkareva, who organized the 40, 61, 6-4. who had already qualified. for the the Anglo-American conversations"

officially until the new formal navy and which was later known as The Miss Colyer and Mrs. J. Hill, imitation conference envisaged in Battalion of Death." women's final at Frinton, togetheris called. reached the doubles final by defeat-

ing Mrs. Sansom and Mrs. Benham Alleged Misinterpretation.

In "She Goes to War, which production Henry King directed for Inspiration Pictures Inc., and is. showing at the Queen's Theatre for the last time today, the exploits of the Battalion of Death" will Eleanor Boardman has the featur

by 2–6, 6–1, 1. They will op- The Navy Department long has pose Miss C. Turner and Mrs.teen in favour of requesting n Pretty, who had an easy path to 10-10-7 ratio with Britain and the the last stage. In the men's sing. United States in any new naval be paralleled to a certain extent. les C. P. Hughes and N. Sharpe limitation agreement and it is qualified for the final. Hughes likely the Foreign Office and the ed feminine role in "She Goes to was not at his beat, but managed Government will support this view War," which story Rupert Hughes to preserve his record of not losing point. The present ratio for capi-wrote and which was adapted by a set in this tournament.

tal ships, as agreed on at the Wash Madam Fred de Gresac Howard ington Conference, cannot be con-

Estabrook, firmed here and is believed a mis interpretation of the remarks made by Masanas Hanibara, a Japanese delegate and then Ambassador to Washington, at the Washington Conference.

MAINLY FOR THE MEN.

Trying to assimilate the ins and outs of Professor Einstein's latest theory is by no means the simplest diversion you could select for & quiet evening...As a result of the new conception, says Einstein's most prominent disciple, we must "revise our conception of the elec- tron. The electron has no reality; it is simply a name for a disem bodied force. This most of us can accept-chiefly because we have

dissolve

"

Leave not a rack behind. We are

such stuff

||

As dreams are made on, and our

little life

is rounded with a sleep.

1

"Girls Gone Wild." The elaborate party sets in which dozens of beautiful girls and handsome youths cut up in real collegiate style. The meeting of Hanihara, according to the of Tony Morelli, a sinister bootlegger," cial transcript of the proceedings and Babs Holworthy, jazz-mad Yes, all which it inherit, shall probably be other costs against her Offee here, merely remarked at one which is fraught with drama. of the Conference in the Foreign daughter of wealth, an incident personally by way of disallowun- And, like this insubstantial paces on the taxation against the de-of the sessions that Japan felt the Tony's "dance of death" with

geant faded,

fendant. These costs would be payauxiliary craft.

-5-3 ratio might be extended to Babs clasped in his arms as he

This was

not attempts to escape the avenging able by the plaintiff in any event,

done, however, and he did not pistols of three desperate gunmen. and it seems ceftain that both sets of costs would be included in the pledge this country to any such The kidnapping of Babs and Buck Brown by the gunmen after Tony's cognovit obtained by Mesars, Dod. policy.

There is still come scepticism in murder, and the wild ride at terrific son and Fogg. What is that but the transfigura-

official circles here regarding the speed through the night toward As it appears that Mr. Pickwick final result of the new naval limita- their "hide-away." tion of Einstein's higher mathe-

section of opinion maties into music 1 Poetry and logic, wished to release Mr. Bardell from tion effort,

Officer Dan Brown's gallant strug- only the haziest conception of what carried to their highest points, prison, and that he could only do being that the new programme may gle against overwhelming odds after an electron is supposed to be. But ineet. there is even more to it. What ap-

The seer and the scientist by paying both sets of costs, result in a situation which will be has been shot by the gangsters, see the same vision. And what is Dickens ja sufficiently accurate force both Japan and the United and his dramatic order to his son plies to the electron, it is said, that vision, again! Simply this: when he represents Mr. Perker as States to build new ships in order to go get 'em." Buck's thrilling. applies also to everything in the that the one reality, in a world saying to Mr. Pickwick:-"I say to maintain their relative positions motor-cycle ride in pursuit of Babs universe.

Sun, stars, moon, the of moving shadows, is the internal that nobody but you can rescue her with Britain. This a majority of kidnappers. The stark drama of the earth everything is unreal These one. Only the soul stands sure, from this den of wretchedness, and Japanese do not want. things only seem

battle in the gangsters's cabin for to be. They All the rest is merely the stage set you can only do that by paying the ara shadows, nonexistent

the life and honour of Baba, and the Economia Retrenchment, » without genuine substance.

ting for its earthly incarnation. costs of this suit both of plaintiff

The present Government, headed of the girl. The charming love final victory of Buck and the rescue

the Minseite Party, has as its car-

All these are some of the high dinal point national economy and lights in "Girls Gone Wild" at the retrenchment.

and

The

This puzzle took 18 minutes to solid ground under our feet, the You, yourself, are more enduring and defendant into the hands of by Premier Yake Hamaguchi of scenes between Babs and Buck.

you to solve it.

aoive. See how long it will take blaring sun in the sky overhead, and immoral than sun, stars or these Freeman's Court sharks.”

are equally vegue and hazy. The without trace. Reality lies within earth. They disolve and vanish eptire universe is something between a shadow-shape and A

your heart. dream. All of this, it is said, is implied in Einstein's new theory.

YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.

No.1451

ADDS. HIB BECE 20VELACE. GOEL IGLOOB WODZEJ DBOZED DENOT BIND BODE 030 202LY TOD RA ALFE

420. DERDI CEF

***** ŽAIB LERO GEAVES * B20AB ZOVERS MATURE.

11-Pertaining to an Italian city. CENO ZV. BEA

Directions for becoming a ghost without dying first are contained in a book. "The Projection of the

In line with this policy it wants Astral Body," by Sylvan J. Mul- the now naval agreement to pro- Professor W. B. Holdsworth's doon and Hereward Carrington vide for real reduction of present To most of us," probably, the Historian" contains a statement ately they are too, scattered and agreement which will neacssitate a

book "Charles Dickens as a Legal (Rider and Co., 188). Unfortuan naval armaments -not a new parity AMERICA'S SWEET TOOTH. whole thing sounds like sheer non-in the addendum suggesting that involved to be summarised. Mr. construction programme for Japan $320,000 A YEAR FOR CANDY. sense. Yet it is accepted by level Dickena made a mistake with re- headed scientists; furthermore, it gard to the payment of the costs astral interludes over since he was with

Muldoon states that he has had to maintain her relative position

to regard Britain and is not particularly new. This is in Bardell v. Pickwick. The costs the first time it has been put for as against Mr. Pickwick would be five. His theory is that the astral a boy of twelve.. He is now twenty.

America.

("D.P." Special Service.] ward as a scientific theory.

Naval experts here realise the taxed

as between party and body leaves the physical body and wide divergence between the pre Shakespears saw eye to eya with party," and the sum payable by him goes raving by itself, while the sont British and American naval bill amounted to 8158,200 for the Washington-The nation's candy Einstein. But he put it more be would be that which was allowed mind is autifully. In "The Tempest' we by the taxing master against an There is no doubt Mr. Muldoon en- see how this divergence is to be to a report, of the Department find this:-

unsuccessful defendant; but on the joys himself. He is as thrilled as a removed, making possible a naval Commerc the baseless fabric of this other hand, there would be costs schoolboy when he walks through limitation agreement, which will vision,

It is pointed out that 466 manu- against Mrs. Bardell, The cloud-capp'd towers, the gor solicitor and client," which would periment of projecting his astral parity which the sea powers desire duced 95 percent of this total which as between people and motor-cars. His ex make possible the true relative facturers of the United States pro geous palaces, The solemn temples, the great dence taking place, before the ac letting it brush her hair obviously construction of numbers of new for the corresponding period

include interviews and correspon hody into a friend's bedroom and and which will not necessitate thy was an increase over the figures globe itself,

tion was begub, and there would gave him great satisfaction. Iships by any of them,

completely

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conscious. problems and some of them cannot fret. six months of 1929

1028,