HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
דיי
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. MONDAY, SEPTEMBER 16, 1929.
GETTING TO SLEEP
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
BEAU BROADWAY
I
Artist: "I've got some of the funniest pictures you ever now."
Editor:"Really Where did you have them taken "
Two small boys were boasting about the wealth of their respec- Live fathers.
My father," said one, has so much money that he doesn't know how to spend it.'
1)
"That's nothing," retorted the other, my father has got so much that my mother doesn't know how to spend it."
"Now," said the leader of the Brushville band, "we'll play "The Stars and Stripes Forever","
What exclaimed the cornet player. I've just played that!"
Great-Auntie: You 80% this
Jace, dear It's fifteenth-century
Dorothy: "How lovely 1 Did you make it yourself?"
You like a man' to have a re- sonant voice
4. Especially with a good ring.
1
Old Giles was busy whitewash- ing his barn with a brush that had but few bristles left in it.
The squire happened to pass by. and, pausing to wish his tenant good day, noticed the brush.
Why don't you get a brush with a few more bristles in it, Giles he ventured, good-humor: edly.
What for. sir?" asked the painter,
*What for 1" echoed the other. "Why, man, if you had a decent brush, you could do twice as much work.
"Mebbe so, mebbe so," returned old Gilea.Only, you see, I ain't got twice as much work to do."
Friend: "Have you sold pay thing since you started painting " Artist: "Only my best suit and most of the furniture."
Spivvins was attending his frst opera and was puzzled.
a.she singing in English he whispered to his neighbour.
How do you expect me to tell 4" demanded the old-timer. "She's soprano.
For a long time the loquacions man in the barber's shop had made comments on the appearance of a parrot standing on a ledge over a mirror, saying it was the worst stuffed bird he had ever seen.
Look at its legs!" he acoffed. "No parrot ever had legs like that I couldn't stand on them!"
"Really?" said the parrot, iszi- ly teratching the side of its head.
Goo: "How did the professor make his million "
Magoo Heat fenders on grapefruit spoons,
Blinks: How are you going to like your new neighbours?"
Jinks: All right, I think. My. wife watched the moving vans 'un- load. and there wasn't sign of a
piano, radio, phonograph, or a saxophone case among their bulong- ings..
"What kind of a living room have you?"
ours is an eight-cylinder sedan."
pretty good firm is Watch & Waite
And another is Attit. Early &
Layte.
And still another is Doo & Dairet. But the best is probably Grinn &
Barrett.
"I had a
prospective chicken dinner to-day."
"Oh, you mean fried eggs!"
An amusing_atory was told re- cently by HR.H. the Duke of York While the Duke of York was at the Royal Naval College in the Isle of Wight, he was out rid- ing' alone when he was overtaken by a dense fog, and completely lost his bearings. After riding about for a time, looking in vain for Rome familiar landmark, be at length espied a rustic sitting upon a gate.
My good man," he asked; " is this the way to Ryde ?"
"No, it isn't, young feller-me- lad," replied the rustic after cri- tically surveying him for some mo ments: thee turns thee toes out too much."
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
112 3
15 6 17 18
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12
13
14
16
NƏ
12
120 10421
122 123 124
25
26
27 23 29
130
31
32
E
36
37
58 39
40
$42
43
44
45.46 97
48
49 150 151
152 153
(54 05 156
58
59
62
163
Horizontal
1. Part of body. 4-Sharp." 9.-Beverage. 19.-High card. 13.-ned. 14.-Everyone. 15.-Profession
17.--To bite,
--Domesticated.
21.-Toward.
22.-Sinks in middle.
25.-Metalliferous rock.
7.-Burden.
31. Self. 32.-Untimely.
34. Comparative suffix.
35.-A constellation. 36.-City in Germany. 37.-Within.
38.-Sordid.
41.-Dance step.
42.---Bench.
43. Harbour vessel.
44.-Pain.
54.~~Conjunction.
47.-English county. 49.—Parts,
53. Sewing implement.
57.-Play on words.
89.-Quiet.
60-Atmosphere.
01.-Still
62.-Surfeited,
-63.-Humans,
Vertical,
1.-Kind of ment
2.-To cool
3.-Favourite.
4. Superficial extent, 6.Large aquatic bird. 6.--Aluft.
7-A number.
8.To prepare for printer. 8.-Record.
10-Cloth measure.
11.-Malt beverage.'
18-Possessive pronoun, 16.-Shoes. 20.-Eefore.
22.-Appears.
23. To accede. 24-To depart.
26.A coming forth.
28.-Greek letter.
29.-What was the first name of
Mr. Hepp in David Copper- feld !
30. To feel.
32-Prefix: previous to.
33.-One, no matter which, 35.-Performer.
30.-Bun.god.
40.—Arctic bird.
41-Per centum (abbr.).. 44.-Devoured.
46.--Corded clotha
38.-Lack,
49.-Scout.
50.---Shade.
61. - Інвест.
62.-Large wave. 54-Obstruction.
do. Falsehood. 50.-Eagle. 50.-By.
This puzzle took 20 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it,
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
No.1442
7A82ED
BEARISM AT TUB SVADE,HOE 3200 BYE ALI
BER V
ED BROILE YAAR HAIK 22ZOBALBE GOEDOELOE BEZEDE EISLERİ BRIHED BELEEL
DROPS OFF TO SLEEP
IS WAXED BY SOUNDS AT HIS DOOR, LOW WHISPERS' AND SHUSHES
THERE! THANN GOODNESS THEY'VE GONE. POZES OFF AGAIN
GOODNESS, THE DOOR'S SQUEAKING, MOTHER MUST BE COMING TO SEE IF HE'S ASLEEP
WHAT WAS THAT ?
WELL HE'D BETTER PRETEND TO BE OR HE'LL NEVER GET
ANY PEACE
| 8-21_(Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
REALIZES ITS MOTHER AND' DADDY LISTENING TO SEE IF HE'S ASLEEP YET
OH JUST MOTHER CALLING DOW STAIRS NOT TO MAKE SO MUCH NOISE, THE BASY'S ASLEEP. DROPS
OFF AGAIN
SHE'S GONE AT LAST, ÄND NOW MAYBE THEY'LL LET
HIM GET A LITTLE SLEEP
WALLETS
PICTURES AND PLAYS.
pass an idle hour, to hold hands, to be out of the wet. There were many more, before November 1998, wher. there happened in the film world something which the film world least of all realised.
Let us go back for a moment to fervour of Gateworthy. Also the ed after one night. Our 'London those peaceful days before Novem- film, with its three-day life, could cinemas are apparently too com- ber 20, 1928, when The Singing rarely profit by word-of-mouth completely under the thumbs of Ameri- Fool" was presented for the first ment. Many reasons having noth can reaters to make possible here time in England, and let us recalling to do with pictures drove people such a brief existence for talking the difference of attitude on the into picture theatres. Some of these pictures, but that is not because part of the playgoer and the pic-reasons were to listen to anthere has been no occasion for it. turegoer in search of entertainment. Forchestra, to have a quiet sleep, to The playgoer, then as now, dis- eriminated very emphatically be tween one play and another, mostly од the grounds of precedent. There was the precedent created by Frederick Lonsdale or Somerset Maugham, the precedent of Mathe son Lang or Henry' Ainley, Bo happily and triumphantly returned, the precedent of Fay Compton or Gladys Cooper, the precedent of the Haymarket or the Gaiety, and the precedent of long established, know ledgable eriticism. And, to all these things there was added the guidance of word-of-mouth com meat. Such discrimination hardly existed with regard to pictures, save in respect of a very small band of artists.
It was
LEW CODY, AILEEN PRINGLE, SUE CAROL.
AT THE
QUEEN'S FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
AT THE
The
At 230. 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
Emden
WORLD
AT THE
STAR
14
TO-DAY TO WEDNESDAY CONTINUOUS PERFORMANCE DAILY FROM 1.15
"FIVE and TEN |
CENT ANNIE! LOUISE FAZENDA
WOR
"BEAU BROADWAY."
FROM THE FERRY TO THE QUEEN'S.
[BY OUR FILM CRITIO.]
American life, written, I. should "Beau Broadway" is a story of
imagine, to give Lew Cody and Aileen Pringle something to do to earn their salaries. They do it talking picture has completely alter Sue Carrol, who is lets flombayant In the past seven months the quite nicely and the introduction of ed tas attitude of the picturegoer, because the talking picture is pro sad so more attractive than in vocative and not soporific. The pictures made in homage of Ameri talking picture excites comment.
can youth, does much to liven up The Singing Fool" as a riot, The silent film induced coma. The but the film world did not stop to picturegoer is now just as critical the story. analyse this phenomenon.
as the playgoer, or very soon will Lew Cody has the part of "Lam. merely imagined that the film world be, which fact is about to revolu bert," a man-about-town who makes had struck oil. And in the past tíonise the personnel and the pro- seven months we have seen some of cess of motion picture, production. his money by promoting fights. In the tragic consequences visited on America has already undertaken in his leisure hours be dallies with those who joined unthinkingly in this revolution. It will be forced "Yvonne" (Aileen Pringle) who is the mad scramble to stake their on Britain about the end of this "mo-better-than-abe-should-be " and claims. Sam Eckman, at the Con-year when cur film world will have ference of Cinematograph Exhibi- generally awakened to the fact that an old hand at the game. One of tors at Yarmouth recently, used the America has dapped the course be- his pugilistic friends dies in a senti mildest and the kindest language fore we have begun. Then, no when he said that some talking doubt, we shall start on the eliminamental uplift scene and bequeaths It was so of necessity. As com- pictures had been dismal failures. tion of the illiterates from our to Lambert, his granddaughter pared with the stage, the film com- His championship of silent films studios. Nothing is more certain (Sue Carrol). pletely failed to reproduce the glit- | may be due to his still having silent than that the increasingly critical tering wit of Lonsdale, the incisive films to sell, but it is nevertheless attitude of picturegoers will neces satire of Maugham, the delicate a fact that at the Capitol in New sitate infinitely higher dramatic kentiment of Barrie, or the dramatic | York, a talking picture was remov. ' standards in pictures.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
Your Home and Mine:
SHRINKAGE PROBLEMS.
Do you know that nearly all
fabrics shrink when they are first
washed? Many people believe that i
only fabrics containing wool can similar shrinkage in a shirt means shrink.
When cloth is wet it can be 15-inch collar band becomes 143- stretched in width or in length. It inch, and so quite unwearable. it is dried while still atretched it
A well-fitting sleeve will not look retains its stretched size until it so well when it is one inch shorter again gets wet, when it reverts to after washing. its proper size.
In the final manufacturing opera tions of bleaching, dyeing and finishing it is practically impossibls to prevent some stretch in the length of a cloth. So usually on first wash- ing of cloth there is some length shrinkage.
Moreover, in Anishing a cloth it is very easy to increase the width by Bor even 10 per cent. So if you ses two similar cloths being sold, one at 36-inch width and the other at 39-inch do not at once
It may be the 38-inch will shrink to 38-inch in the first wash, and if the garment or article was made to correct size, then trouble follows.
...
The cause of this shrinkage-
which is of an entirely different type from that of wool shrinkage-also gives some hint for a cure.
If while the cloth is wet it is strongly pulled out and ironed dry, or preferably pulled out while iron- ing, then a partial or complete cure of the shrinkage may be effected.
A CRAZE FOR YELLOW
DIAMONDS.
Perhaps the most interesting feature in this season's jewellery fashions is the increased use of coloured diamonds.
At least three times the number of blue, yellow, and brown dia monds appear in
"Trying to protect the girl,” ease the programme, "against the worldliness of his own life, and to keep her in innocence of his busi
Lambert changes his mode of
neas
FINAL SHOWINGS
TO-DAY
At 5.80 & 9.20.
By
Special Appointment
to
H.M. King George V.
TREKOVE ZAVĚT CHAMPAGNE
570.
BRUT
living" on the surface only! The The Connoisseur's
young lady, however, is not so in
nocent as he imagines and quite a pretty little game is played out with the two women ranged against Lambert who spends most of his time buying fur coats.
younger
There is, of course, man, a pugilist, introduced to cause Mr. Lambert further worry, and
First Choice's PERRIER :
JOUET
This excellent Champagne
is now obtainable in Hong Kong in three sizes.
fight to justify bis introduction. Bedu Broadway" will not make film history, but I have seen 'worse' pictures and it has some amusing the exclusive incidents, besides providing Suc QUARTS shops, and are worn by fashionable Carroll with her most successful people, than was the case even aix rôle to date,
PINTS months ago.
The curtain raiser is a film which BABY The combination of yellow dia- every one who uses the Star Ferry monds with white stones and has seen flickering across a small emeralds seems to be especially im-screen on the wharf. It had a run thero of soveral weeks if not portant.
months The latter part of this The vague for yellow frocks and picture, which did not appear on yellow hata may be at the back of the ferry cinema, is quite amusing
craze for yellow diamonds, but and tauch better than the begi jewellers in Mayfair and Paris pro- ning. feas a conviction that the liking for yellow jewels will endure long after the present fad for yellow clothes is passed.
pany.
***
$7:00
per bottle
...$3.70
... $2.00
A baby Perrier Jouet and Guinness is
The Ideal Tonic and Pick-me-up.
Sale Agents:
T. E. GRIFFITH, Ltd. 6, Queen's Rd.Ctl.
*TeLO. 8517.
HARBIN'S HOLLYWOOD:"
Coloured diamonds are especially
Herbin. A miniature Hollywood useful in flower brooches, where they create the authentically rich colour may come into existence in Harbin settings such as those seen in
Cheery blos when N. A. Kriloff and H. Nevolia China and Japan. conclude the 38-inch is better value PICKLED TOMATOES. fets, and in geometrie jewellery, organise their Eastern Film Com soms, willow ponds, Chinese gar
dens and the grand palaces of A number of yellow diamonds Kriloff who already is in Harbin Peking will be scenes of a series of clustered together make the central was connected with motion picture pictures. Russian life in the East spota in a diamond sunflower brooch. The design is simple, just studios in America, where he play will also be dellacated on the
ed in His Country," an Italian screen. the two dowers framed in a reetan production of Regolli, "The Presi General Horvat's estate, in thi gular arrangement of baguette dia dent" and "T Last Waltz monds.
A suburb of Old Harbin has been well as in othe pictures. In 1998 chosen for the site of the Easter when Paul Feln. was producing Film studio, where repairs and “The Last Days of Nicholas II.,'
remodelling of the buildings are he was chosen among many lead being made to suit the new pur ing actors to play the role of Czar. pose. It is planned to open & Novalin who is now on his way first-class restaurant on the pre- to Harbin from America, was at mises for the convenience of t
the one time the proprietor of a chain actors and the actresses and the theatres in Russia.
general public. The estate which The object of the Company is to encloses a beautiful park has been produce films with distinct eastern renamed Villa Bella,
Prick three pounds of small red tomatoes put them in an earthen- When material bought, to be
ware jar with a little salt sprinkled made up into articles that must between each layer. Cover and sot subsequently be washed, such asside for a few days. Pour off the window furnishings, shirts, or wash- ing frocks, the wise individual will liquor into a basin. wash the material before making up. Practically all shrinkage will be taken up, and no trouble will follow later.
A shrinkage of 8 per cent, in length is not unusual This means a 30-inch casement may be 24 inches too short after washing, and the well-Sitting effect is spoiled. A
Mince four small onions and boil them in one quart of vinegar, with one ounce of peppercorns and balf an ounce each of celery seed, mus tard seed and cloves.
Dry, the tomatoes, put them back, in the" jar, pour over the liquid, vinegar and spices, and when quite cold cork tightly.
In striking contrast to this type of jewellery is a definitely modernis- tie brooch which shows faceted white brilliants' and yellow baguette dia monds arranged in a jagged double line
Two large pear-shaped emeralds, attached at the sides, emphasise the colour contrast between the dia- monds.
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