HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
"You say the lesser can contain the greater 1"
never
That's right." Have you ever worked in a ladies' shoe store?"
I want to order some flesh- coloured stockings," said the voice cver the phone.
"Yes, maw, and, what kind wil!'! you want-pink, yellow, copper, or black 1"
Solicitor Elt Thames Police Court: We are told that in the next world there will be no mar. ringe or giving in marriage."'
Magistrate: That is why it is
enlied Paradise."
Ch, George, do you realize it's almost a year since our honeymon, and that glorious day we spent on the sandst I wonder how we'll spend this one?"
"On the rocks."
I
Famous Painter, (angrily): hear, sir, you're mating that you Studied art under me?"
Student (calmly): "And so I did. I occupied room under your studio for nearly a month!"
"That lawyer of mine has n
nerve.
"Go on!"
Yes, listen to this item in his bill: For waking up in the night and thinking over your case, 78.
near
"Marry me," implored the estate ngent. I've got a beautiful flat;
modern conveniences, All station, two minutes from shops, good situation, and-"
Stop
interrupted the modern girl. You make me go h and c. all over!!!
A rising young artist was show ing a critic through his studio.
This picture," he said, stopping ing front of one of his early efforts,
is one I painted to keep the wolf; from the door."
"
Indeed! replied the critic. Then why don't you hang it in the door-knob, where the wolf can see it 1"
2
THE HONG KUNG DAILY PRESS, SATURDAY, AUGUST 31, 1929.
Mother: Tominy wouldn't you like to have a pretty cake "with five candles on it for your party
Tommy I think I'd rather have five cakes and one candle, Mamma."
A farmer was nevused of having slandered his neighbour.
"Did you call him a rogue and altar asked the counsel.
Yes, I did.
"And did you call him a thiet " "No, I forgot that "
"Oh. monsieur: I call to see Mr. Smith," said the Frenchman.
You can't; he's not down." answered the valet.
Vat you tell exclaimed the Frenchainn. "I come yesterday and you say I cannot see 218 be enuse he is not up. Now you say he's not down. Vat you mean? Ven vill he be in ze middle"
Josiah Brush, a traveling man, who had crossed the briny main, Was Mr. Brush" in England Aid Senor Beesh" in Spain. * Monsieur To Frenchmen he was
Brush.
With these he had no spat; But Germans called him "Herr
Brush.
And he bristled up at that.
"An English guard took the pines of a Welsh guard on a train. The names of the towns in Wales bre mostly consonants, and anbeliev ably long. The English guard's business was to announce the names of the towns as the train stopped at the stations.
At the first stop he managed to make a stagger at the name of a town printed on the front of the station. The next town was con siderably longer, and the guard hesitated before he finally managed to say something. But the name of the third town went clear across
the front of the station, and had in it nearly every consonant in the xinhabet.
The guard looked at it in des- pair, opened the door of the first compartment, and sung out: there's anyone in there for
ere it is.'
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
16
8 19 10
15
18
19
[00:20
21
22
23
24
25
26 127
28
12
બ
F2
3435
40
44
48
63
157
Horizontal.
1.-High mountain.
2.-Like.
B.-Pronoun. 8.-To knock. 11. Scarcity." 13-Electrical unit. 15.-A single time. 16.-Beard of grain. JS.-Paddles.
19-Old Testament; 20. To sweep down. 2-Jumbled type. 23.-Irish (abbr.).
DB
24-Pertaining to hea: units. 26.-8ix.
28. Parts of flowers.
30.-Packed away.
32-Wing-like part.
33.-Girl's name.
34.-Monetary unit..
37.-Verse.
40.----Bone.
41. One who plays for the fun
of it
43.-Masculine pronoun.
44.-Father.
40. Boils slowly.." 47.-PoBressive pronoun, 48.-Italian river. 50.-Head covering. 51.-Jules Verne hero. 53. To irritate 35. Rubbed out. 57. To change colour. 38.-Comparative auffix. 39,Egyptian Ban god. 60. To unite.
1.- Fuss.
Vertical,
2.--Name. of girl in Poe's "The
Raven."
3.-Agreement.
4.-Alongside.
6.-Large broad scarts,
6.--Estates.
7.-Printer's unit.
8. To harvest,
9.-To reach 'distipation,'
10-Foot-like part. .
12. Prefix again.
11.-Italion-river, '
17. To court.
128
20-Makes oriental obeisance.
21-Exciting sympathy.
23.-Exists.
1-Kind of lity.
25.-Lid.
Idem (abbr).
20.-Crony.
31-A rodent.
34.To act...
35.-Bird that preys on fish.
36.-Preferably.
,
DIFFICULT DECISIONS
ELUYAS WWWAYS
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
WONDERING WHETHER TO
SEEM FRIENDLY TO THE PLAYFUL
TRAIN COMPANION BEHIND YOU, WHICH MAY ENCOURAGE HIM TO GREATER ACTIVITY OR
TO BE SEVERE, WHICH MAY JUST EG6 HIM ON TO ANNOY YOU; OR TO IGNORE HIM, IN WHICH CASE HE WILL PROBABLY
60 ON JUST AS HE IS FOR THE REST OF THE TRIP
(Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
SPORT AND
SINGULAR INOIDÈNT,
In a dead-heat at Henley Regatta, there was a singular incident. Jack Beresford and G. C. Killick defended the Silver Goblets for Thames R.C. against Third Trinity, Cambridge, "and on the last occasion that a race in this event finished in a dead heat, about twenty years ago, J. Beres ford, sen., Beresford's father, rowing for the same club, was one of the pair that deat-heated.
ere,
37-Alloy formerly used for table
ware.
38-Correspatuled in sound.
-Old proncun.
42.-Afternoon party. 45.-Poker stake.
47.-Plateau.
49.-Conjunction.
49.-Old Testament (abbr), 51-Symbol for sodium. 51.-Unusual.
54. French article. 50,--Symbel for radium.
This puzzle took 23. minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it,
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
Ko, 1428
21035 APPAL DIVIDE YALO3 GO
ET BEAID 1003 DEMONIO-KOLI.
KLAR, PL18 22143 BRINZDA AMED "NOTIS: OJ RID POIST-POD 20
BANDAR BASE 300028TMINUAND 128403 00720
ATHLETICS.
AMERICA WANTS TO SEE THE | M.P.'S FOOTBALL BILL.
BRITISH CHAMPIONS.
Captain Gunston, Conservative! British boxing and boxers seem M.P.. for the Thornbury Division to be coming into favour. Three of Cloucestershire, has asked the arc deemed Home Secretary if he will consider British, champions worthy to be included in champion-the introduction of legislation to ship matches in America. They are prohibit the practice of the payment Phil Scott, Jack Hood, and Teddy of sums of money on the transfer Baldock. The two former are in a of professional football players fróm class by themselves among Euro-
one club to another. peans, but as Nipper Pat Daly de-
This was one of the many won-feated Kid Pattenden so easily at derful races in which a great apurt Premierland recently, we may have turned the tide at the finish, for the
to recast our values of Baldeek. college pair had led nl the way to be caught on the post. When the race was re-rowed in a downpour of rain. Thames, after being one more behind for a mile, won by two lengths.
What a good one. Jack Garland must be, too, since not even Daly's staunchest supporters can deny that the ex-amateur bantam-weight The dead-heat had an effect on champion gave Pat the fight of his London life at the recent Clapton Stadium other events, for scratched from the Wyfolds, because tournament. three of their number were required
Americh also wants brilliant Len for the "eight," and H. RA. Edwards, who was in the Thames Harvey. Len, however, will not be
two
It is understood that Captain Ganston will introduce a Bill to make such transfer fees illegal.
The British championship middle- weight can consolidate his position, however, by engaging Len Johnson, Jaccovacci, or Thil.
An attempt is being made to in duce Tommy Milligan to re-enter the ring. The suggested opponent is Alex Ireland, and the match, if it is arranged, will take place at Waver
boat, scratched to Viscount Tiverton permitted to tackle the world chamley Market, Edinburgh. The middle- weight championship of Scotland in the Diamonds.
Browne and Nichols School and Pion at his weight right away, be-would be involved, and no doubt Columbia Laiversity their cause Jaek Kearns, who manages the pair would draw a record gate, heats in the Thames Cup, after the champion, is a cute matchmaker. 38 each has a large following. thrilling races, but excitement reach-Ho no doubt has had eye-witnesses' its highest pitch when J. Wright,
·won
the bolder of the Diamonds, sculled reports as to Harvey's quality, and, himself almost to a standstill to bent therefore, Harvey will not get the Jack Guest, his fellow Canadian, opportunity he craves. who was rowed out.
(Continued on next Qulumn.).
I
Eddie Steele, who is Phil Scot's pupil, added another victory to his record Ipswich by defeating Ted Pearson, a big fellow with a punch. Scott's advice to Steele was, your left."
MAINLY FOR THE MEN.
A London Correspondent wri- or so behind, well outside George's tes:-Among the very interesting left shoulder, and, had I known native athletic records published nything of the tricks and the manner's" of George. I should have in The Times recently, there are felt, with many others, that Cum- two I have to refer to, and also mings could go to the front when he pleased, so easily did he appear to the makers of them-one made to be running. But as they came
by the late W. P. Phillips dawn the home stretch before eater-
as
In
other
Use
Is bachelorhood a luxitty? There (
is overwhelming evidence to the contrary. If it were the majority of men would not abandon it for domesticity. Consider the statis ties affecting divorces. Almost in- man divorces, or is variably a
In divorced only to marry again. any case muleting the unmarried man in cash and penalising him in far back as 1863-190 yards ing the third and last lap 1 saw £1
George piling up the agony. Yells other ways is not likely to basten the the 4-5sec. and made by W. G.
in of "Cummings wins were heard resolute bachelor into marriage. George
on every side; arid a stranger bawl- It was both dangerous and incon- 1854-11 miles in 57min. 9 3-8se.
As retorted,' ventent to be a bochelor in old That which has, reference to that ed into my ear
George wins for a sovereign" Greece and Rome. In Sparta the handsome Army man W. P. Phil-
"That's a bet with me. sir." At maidens at the great feast day of lips in an extraordinary' one; but, unless my nernary plave me woefully that very instant moment Cum- the year were licensed to bait any false, it is, nevertheless, a true one.
mings stopped, and George lobbed bachelor they could find.. If we home in 4min, 2sec. Well, I'm held to the old Athenian law we One morning a sporting daily an nounced the death of W. P. Phil hanged," said the stranger as he should not allow an unmarried man handed me the sovereign like a to enter Parliament, and we should lips abroad. This statement was
reserve an Army commands for denied by Phillips himself in the good man and true. next morning's issue of the paper.
married generala with children. He stated that he was in the best of health, and was not abroad. Two days later, however, he was dead.
With regard to W. G. George, it will be remembered he became a professional runner. and his first match as such was a mile race Cummins at Lillie against W. Bridge. I went to see the race in
Never had I earned a sovereign in so short a time, and, upon my word, the pleasure was enhanced; too, by the genial smile of that kindly gentleman. G. P. R., who, dare swear, never had a bet in
his life.
The movement to increase the tax burden on bachelors on the ground that bachelorhood is a luxury, is
If now any proposal to increase the taxes of the unmarried is press- ed, one wonders what the young & tax on women will say: for bachelors must be a tax on spins- ters too and the number of unmar- ried women earning taxable in- comes is large and rising.
It should not be forgotten, how-
"A ROYAL LOVE STORY!
A peasant maid-a Prince who meets her at a fiesta-love that carries them both before it revolution — and a smashing climax!
IN
JOAN
CRAWFORD
NILS
ASTHER
IN
with
AILEEN PRINGLE
DREAM
OF LOVE
DIRECTED BY THE MAN WHO MADE “BEN HUR"
AT THE
QUEEN'S
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
At 2.80, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
A BRITISH FILM!
A delightful story of romance told with many thrills and a wealth of humorous situations!
ODETTE
with
FRANCESCA BERTINI, WARWICK WARD
AT THE
WORLD
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
At 2.30, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.20,
ANOTHER BRITISH PICTURE |
A splendid screen version of the well-known story by 3. de Baroncelli.
THE
VILLA
BY THE
with
SEA
CHARLES VANEL, DOLLY DAVIS.
AT THE
STAR
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
At 230, 5.30 & 9.20.
AN ABSORBING STORY OF NEWSPAPER LIFE!
FREEDOM
OF THE
PRESS
with
LEWIS STONE
MARCELINE DAY, HENRY B. WALTHALL
COMING TO THE
QUEEN'S TUESDAY AND
WEDNESDAY
P.
O.
O.
Box 1, Hong Kong Box 1,
the company of Mr. G. P. Rogers widespread, and seems now to be ever, that already the income tax P.
at the time hon. secretary of the growing in intensity. Mussolini discriminates between the single L.A.C. I had not only seen George and Kemal Pasha are taxing bache and the married man. and imposes run many times, but" I remember lors vigorously. The Irish Free what is in effect a tax on bachelors. hearing S. K. Holman say of him, State is on the same tack. The Yet the marriage rate remains un- after George had beaten him in a idea has influential support in both affected. inile championship. "I never felt the Labour and the Liberal Parties so fit in my life, yet he ran me in England. As a measure of jus. completely off my legs: the more I tice, such edicts as Mussolini's re tried to hang on the faster he went. cent one increasing the taxes which, Oh, he's the very devil, of a rua- Italian bachelors must pay the nor." therefore went to see this State are easily justifiable. As a match, fully confident of George's measure of policy designed less to winning it. From the start to the swell the revenue than to increase finish George tock, and held; the the marriage and birth rate, they lead, with Cummings lying a yard are open to question.
Beat to leave the bachelors alone. They are more to be pittied than plundered-pibbling, as they do, at the puff pastry of life, while the married man sits down to a meal. full They miss the essential to
Hence the and satisfying life. crabbiness which is commonly and accurately considered to be the pro- duct of single blessedness.
is the Address. Write an Order for the Weekly Press to be sent you for Three Months or Thirty Years. The first will cost you $3.75, and the Annual Subscription is $18,
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