1929-08-29 — Page 3

HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.

She: "Do you think my dress is Į a perfect at

He:Almost a convulsion,'

Are you sure your folks know I'm coming home to dinner with you ?"

"They ought to. They argued with me a whole hour over it."

Husband (sternly, to wife who hus heen shopping): "What do you want with a new frock ?

Wife (happily): "How thought ful of you, darling! Of course I'd like a new hat to go with it."

"Do you like spinach ?" asked the hostess.

Yes, somewhat," replied the quest, but I have always felt that the water it was cocked in could have been pat to some good pur- pose,"

Mr. Smith Mrs. Brown, lend ine a drop of vinegar.

Mrs. Brown: am sorry, but I haven't any 'in the house."

Mrs. Smith: "What a housekee- per you must be! Whenever I come to borrow a bit of anything, you haven't any."

That sailar over there reminds ine of a hen covering a bunch of chickens."

"I suppose you mean the one brooding over there by the com- panionway."

Oh, no; I mean the one sitting on the hatch.,'

Browsing around the large as sortment of Shakespearean works

mur,

THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, THURSDAY, AUGUST 29, 1929.

Mother: "But, Junior, you shouldn't lot the darkness bother you."

Junior: "I wouldn't. Mother, if it didn't get in my eyes!"

"

"It is said of the late Andrew Carnegie began the efficiency, ex- pert impressively,

"I won't have this," stormed the self-made bour If he was fate,

discharge him at once.

་

Caller: "Doctor there's sickness up the road. My mother-in-law says it's smallpox."

"

.

Doctor: That so? Has your mo ther-in-law ever seen case of smallpox!"

No; but what differénce would that make "

M

What is it, dear asked the girl friend.

W-why" she subbed, "I t-told Jack, after he proposed, to go up and see papa.

** Well ?**

Why, they started playing cards, and now he goes up to see papa every night.".

The sergeant was giving the re- cruits rife practice, and had lost bis temper.

"You big bonehead he roared one man."Don't you know what a fine sight is

at

"Yes," said the recruit.

It's

a ship packed with sergeants, sink- ing in mid-ocean."

their choice of words. On one de Mayors are not always happy in casion a mayor, presiding for the last time at a meeting of his local counei, said:

"I have came to the end of my

in the book department, the cul-morality and am pleased to re tured individual was heard to mur turn to the freedom of my former

Tell mu where is fancy life." bred.!!

To which an alert salesgirl re- plied. Bakery goods on the main floor, sir."

receptacle for nourishment..

tidbit.

To get her poor canine ao osseous When she got there the cupboard was entirely dennded of its contents,

་

And so the poor doggir, got the op-

posite of any...

"Ah don' wants ter bothah you," he mid in an awe-struck voice, but Ah'd shoah like to s de pods dem peas come in."

CROSSWORD PUZZLE.

19 10

11

THE FAMILY ALBUM——À LITTLE RIDE

SAYS HOW ABOUT ALL PILING INTO THE CAR

AND TAKING A LITTLE

RIDE IN THE SUNSET LIGHT

GETS MILDRED AND WILFRED INTO CAR AT LAST AND CONTINUES TO PACE, WAITING FOR

WIFE

GUYAS WIZLAMS

GETS CAR CUT AND COMES IN "TO SEE IF THEY'RE ALL READY

SPORT

THE AUSTRALIAN BOWLS TEAM.

4

WIFE APPEARS JUST- AS MILDRED REMEM BERG SHE PROMISED" TO CALL, UP GLADYS FERBER AT SEVEN

By GLUYAS WILLIAMS

FINDS THAT WIFE HAS AT LAST MINUTE DE CIDED TO CHANGE HER DRESS

MILDRED RETURNS, AS WIFE SENDS WILFRED IN FOR RUG, CAMING THAT IT'S BETTING

COOLER

(Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)

The selection of the Australian team to visit the British Isles next scason ensures some strong com binations in the rinks. Victoria has

It

AND

PACES VERANDA WHILE BATTLE RAGES INSIDE AS TO WHETHER MIL- DRED DID OR DIDN'T BORROW WILFRED'S SWEATER

GETS FAMILY INTO CAR AT LAST AND CUMBS INTO DRIVER'S SEAT... JUST AS SUNSET LIGHT STARTS TO FADE

•

7-27

ATHLETICS.

LANCERS HAVE EASY PATH TO GRICE BROUEES LONSDALE

GOLF CUP FINAL.

TROPHY.

The 11th Hussars proved no The semi-finals and Enal of the Lonsdale Trophy single-handed match for the well-schooled 17-21st Lancers in the first of the semi-finals for the Subalterns Gold Cup at championship of the London and Ranelagh, and were beaten by 12 Southern Counties B.A: were

played The Lancers played goals to 2. splendidly together to secure a lead at Paddington. In the first semi- by 8 points at half-time. From that final W. Grice (Croydon) beat A. L. point they could afford to spare Goddard (Alford) by 21-9, but W. J. themselves and still win by a Deaham (Brondesbury) and E. margin to 10 goals.

1

The Hurricanes, allowing Scop. Collins (Barnes Lonsdale) bad a wiek 2 gnals, defeated Lord Barn- ding-dong struggle, Denham, when by's side at Roehampton in the re- 18-20 down, obtaining three shots, to maining semi-final tie of the Shaw win by 21-20. In spite of heavy rain Challenge Cup by 11 goale to, 62, and will, therefore, clash with the during the interval, the final pro- famous Pilgrims in the inal

duced excellent play, the green re- covering remarkably. Grice' went away with a 3, and led Denham 132, but Denham pulled up to 13-18. Grice, however, was more sure of his shots, and won by 11-16, winning the trophy for the first time.

Locust Samson had been born and reared in the backwoods, and was a grown man before he made his first, visit to the city. He went to Old Mother Hubbard went to then hotel for dinner and, as an ap-nominated four first-class skippers, petizer, was served a dish of large and in other respects the calibre is olives. Locust looked them over up to the standard for a touring carefully and then motioned for

team. A tour of this kind must the waiter.

naturally be renuous, owing to play and social programmes. The international Bowling Board (which controls all international fixtures in Great Britain) cannot avoid making a very full programme. The county associations have increased consider ably of late years, while there is always a certain amount of bowl- ing propaganda to be done in certain areas through visiting teams. would be unwise if they did not take advantage of such a golden opportu-

The Australian team would be nity. This would be good, particu larily in those counties where the well advised while playing in Great game is so strong, Britain to discard rubber and other "crown green And, doubtless the opportunity will bowls of composition, and confine

There was some thrilling lawn be taken full advantage of by the themselves to lignum-vitae bowls. board. The most strenuous part of The greens they will have to play tennis at Roehampton during the the tour will be in England. There upon will generally be upon the slow semi-finals of the Professional Cham- are 29 counties be catered for, side compared to the Australian pionships of Great Britain. and it will be difficult to omit any green, and the composition bowl will Pearce, a nineteen-year-old profes of them. Scotland, too, will be fair- be at a disadvantage. Many exsional at Queen's Club, and Daniel ly strenuous, although the actual perienced players whose opinion is Maskell, of All-England Club, Wim- travelling in that country should be worth while consider that a player bledon, the holder, qualified for the

using compition bowls on the greens final after great matches. caxy, as Glasgow will be used In centre to work from for at least at home penalises himself to the two weeks and Edinburgh, possibly, tune of 10 points in a game of 23 onee the team are in those places, up. Mr. Melbourne Orchard, an will not entail very much travelling Australian; who has played in many from the base. Cardiff, in Wales, international teams for England,

(Continued on next Column.) i strongly emphasises this view,

12

13

15

16

19

121

217 18

14

28 29

24 25

£26

131

32

34

35

36

137

38

3918

41

42

43 44

45

148

50

5)

155

52 53

56

154

57

Horizontal,

1-Strike lightly.

5.-Domestic auiraal.

6. Otherwise.

10.-Norse pam.

13

146 147

18-Went on horseback. 29.--Gaiters.

24-More advanced in year.

12. On the side away from wind 21.--Section of circumference.

ward.

1.-Collection of sayings.

14.-Sly look.

15. To force.

17.-Correct.

19.-Warm.

20.-Unlocks.

21.---Youths.

』

23-River of Europe.

34.-Consumed.

20. What fruit did Wm. Tell

make famous ?

28.-Convulsive sigh.

31.-Musical note.

32.-Assistance.

33,-Negative.

34.-Obstructive person.

36.-Precipitous.

38.---Moisture.

39.-Goddess of discord.

41.--Contest.

43.-Wanderer.

45.-Mislaya,

48.-Felievoz.

50.-Judge.

51.-Diplomacy. 52.-Very warm. 54.-A lake.. G5.--Beverages. 56.-Before. 37.-To transmit.

Vertical,

1.-Agreement.

4-Medicinal plant,

3.-Church,

4.-Dark. brown.

B.Chum.

8.-Inclosed.

8. To run away.

7-Opening.

D.-Sufferers from a disease,

10.--Observed.

11. Mistakes.

23-Afternoon party,

27.-A pastry.

91-A number.

30-To bend head. 33.-Contrivance. 33.--Father. 37-Tropical plast. 39.-To crave.

40, Lenses.

42.-Contends.

43.-Roll of names. 44.-Precious stone..

48.-Hibernia.

47.-To.80W. 48.-Feminine pronoun, 30.-Western Indian. B3-Conjunction.

This puzzle took 23 minutes to solve. See how long it will take to solve it."

YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.

1486

LE

YA

LYRI 08

28

BEJDS 36

17

and Bellast, in Ireland, should be the respective bases.

PROFESSIONAL TITLE.

J.

In the doubler semi-final D. Maskot indG. R. Rend "beat J. Legvold, and E. Knibba by 6-1, 6-0, 6-6. and W. H. Dear and T. C. Jeffery beat F. J. Pearce and J.. Pearce, 3-2, Out, B-2.

THE WOMAN'S CORNER.

MODERN WONDER OF THE

WORLD.

Sometimes a young woman's hand- bag drops open in the street, and

CLEANING TIPS.

Oxidised silver and pewter are

RENOVATIONS.

Clothes which have become badly now very much in vogue for furnish creased through having been put ing and ornaments.

half a dozen gallant passers-by Sooner or later, when the newness away for some time can be treated devote a few minutes to collect and has worn off, they require cleaning, in the following way: hang them on marvel at the assortment of trifes although their pristine freshness a line in the bathroom, and turn, spread over the pavement. Even can be preserved for some time if on the hot water until the room is then probably less than half the they are constantly rubbed with a bag's contents have revealed them clean soft chamois leather.

selves,

A woman's handbag is, one of the wonders of the modem world. Its capacity appears to have no limits, and the contents of a small boy's pocket are a model of neatness and necessity compared with it.

But when oxidised silver does be- come tarnished, rub a little good plate powder on with a damp cloth and polish with a soft one.

Gilded silver should be wiped with a damp cloth moistened with am monia.

.. *

•

full of steam.

Leave them for an hour or two, then dry in the open air and press with a cool iron.

Mildew can be removed easily from clothing by placing the affected part in a bowl of buttermilk

As regards cleansing agents, ben. zine is one of the best for heavy materials; or a stronger solution is

mixture consisting of one pint benzine, half dram chloroform, one

drain alcohol

To remove shininess from black material, rub gently with fine sand- paper, afterwards sponging with a solution of common washing-blue and water,

Light materials are best cleaned with French chalk, which will not harm the most delicate fabric, and yet will remove dirt and grease in the most effective fashion.

What can any schoolboy or any man show to compare with this list

For pewter that is very neglected, of treasured triffes which a business rub first with powdered rottenstone, girl turned out of her bag? well moistered with equal parts of Mirror, comb, powder compact linseed oil and turpentine, then wash and paff, lipstick, bundle of with soap and water, and finally orange sticks, nail file, penknife, polish with whiting. Fruit kaile, fountain pen, one pencil and two pieces of pencil,

To keep your kitchen table clean cheque book, notebook, notecase and white the following ingredients cardcase, length of gold braid, should be well mixed with some dis- two pieces of material for match-solved soap: Half 4 pound sand, ing, packet of cigarettes, box and packet of matches, five omnibus half a pound lime. Put the mixture tickets, eleven cigarette cards, on with a scrubbing brush, and wash

off with plenty of cold water, concert programme, two theatre ticket counterfoils, seven keys,

The garment to be cleaned should two handkerchiefs, bottle of per- fume, newspaper cutting, five The young culprit m ntained, be spread on a clean towel and snapshots, four visiting cards, after carefully examining the list,rabbed gently all over with the pow seven letters, three postcards, tea that, thirty-six of the forty, items dered chalk, a little extra attention dollars and sixty cents, three were necessary, and that her hand being paid to badly stained or spot

ted parts. stamps, three sheets of blank bag is never without them. paper and an envelope, eight I do not use all the things every safety pins, one stocking (ladder day," she said, "but I have to carry ed), one eacalyptus gum, needle them round in case I need them." and cotton, sundry scraps of The handbag has taken the place with the modern girl, of her grand paper, (Continued at foot of next column), mother's beloved scrap bag.

་

When the whole article has been so treated, fold it up in the towel and leave for three days. Then take it oat and shake it, when it will have regained much of its first fresh-

Kess:

A ROYAL LOVE STORY!

A peasant maid-a Prince who meets her at a fiesta-love, that carries them both before it-revolution – and a smashing climax!

IN

JOAN

CRAWFORD

NILS

ASTHERN

with

AILEEN PRINGLE

DREAM OF LOVE

DIRECTED BY THE MAN WHO MADE “BEN HUR"

AT THE

TO-DAY TO SATURDAY

QUEEN'S A 230, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.

A BRITISH FILM!

A delightful story of romance told with many thrills and a wealth of humorous situations !

ODETTE

with

FRANCESCA BERTINI, WARWICK WARD

AT THE

WORLD

TO-DAY TO SATURDAY

At 230, 6.16, 7.15 & 9.20,

ANOTHER BRITISH PICTURE !

}

}

A splendid screen version of the well-known story by J. de, Baroncelli.

THE

VILLA SEA

BY THE

with

CHARLES VANEL, DOLLY DAVIS.

AT THE

STAR

TO-DAY & TO-MORROW at 5.30 & 8.20.

SATURDAY at 280, 5.30 & 9,20.

Under the Distinguished Patronage of HE. The Governor.

A

GRAND CONCERT

11

Under the Auspices of the

R. A O. B. CLUB

will be held in the

R. N. CANTEEN THEATRE on WEDNESDAY, SEPTEMBER 4th

COMMENCING AT 9 PM

When by kind permission of Lt. Col. 0. H. Little, D.S.O., 0/0 1st Batta. Somerset Light Infantry (P.A.)

"THE BUZZERS" FOLLIES

Will give An Entertainment, ·-- Total Proceeds to be devoted to dependants of victims of the naval disasters of HM. Submarines H47, L12 and J.M.S. Devonshire.

ADMISSION

82 AND $1. Tickets available at ANDERSON'S, MODTRIES, RA.O.B. CLUB (Tel. 4737), Manager, B.N. CANTEEN (TL 471), or at the Doens,

*[8994

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