1929-08-27 — Page 3

M

HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.

-Ramona: bin"

"What's a Grecian

Chiquita: Oh, about 823 a week aleas he owns the restaurant.??

Sister: What shall we give Father for his anniversary pre-

· sont l''

Brother: car."

Let's let him drive the

Mother: Mary Ann, what is a guitar?"

Lile Daughter (after much pon- dering): guess it's a ukulele's papa."

"My shopping trip was a com- plete failure to-day, dear."

"Really

"Yes, I found what I wanted in the first store:*:

f

Do you mind if I play house with you naked the little boy.

"Yes," responded a little girl. You can be the chauffeur and this! can be your day off."

Mother: "You must not leave; the crusts-luter ou

you may be glad to ent the cruals."

Max:

Yes, that is why I am not eating them now."

A Londoner took an American | to see Hamlet."' "You sure are behind the times here," remarked the American. I saw this play in Now Yerk four years ago,”!

4

He: "I still maintain that no two persons in the world think alike.

She: You will alter your opinion, when you see our wedding presents.

"Where's your baggage?" asked the customs officer.

"An' what would I be needia" baggage for 1" replied the perplex- ed immigrant.

"To keep your clothes in, of course. cartly responded the off-

ver. What ejaculated the other

An' what would I wear, thin 7"

15

*

Fond Mother: "Professor, do you think Frankie will ever move inaltitudes with his voice P

Singing Master: "Maybe, Ma dam, maybe, if you make a police- As of him."

A couple of rival friendly shop- keepers were talking things over. When does your opening sale close 1 asked the firet..

"When our elesing sale opens,** the second replied.

THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. TUESDAY, AUGUST 27, 1929.

**My dear child," said a woman to a young anmarried acquaint- aner. you must realize that when one loges it should be for life. I know what I'm talking about-I've been married three times."

Teacher: Surely you know what the word 'mirror' means Tominy. After you have washed your face, what do you look at to see if it is clean !*

Tommy: The towel, sir."

Brown has just invented lawn mower that should pay for itself."

"Yes. I discovered it had a coin- slot attachment and wouldn't move unless a quarter was inserted.!!

Aunt:"I thought your father objected to your wearing short dresses."

1

Modern Miss: "Oh, Daddy has. agreed that it is all right for me to wear them shorter if I wear then longer.

Mrs. Muchmoney (to new cook): Sunday we usually ED

for a drive directly after dinner.

Excellint, mun," replied the pleased servant, but, then, of course. I shall have to love the dishes till we come back."

Look, Auntie, isn't it disgust

ing? I was bitten by an Alsatian last night."

** Well, dearie, 'what can you ex- pect if you will go to these low, foreign night clubs? Thank good -ness, Englishnan don't bite?°

CROSSWORD PUZZLE.

34 35

140

22

#7

158

Horizontal. 1.-Ovesa.. 4.-Part of " to be." 6.-Boxing match. 8.-Metalliferous rock. 1-Procurator of Jadea. 13.-Verses.

13-Small particle.

16.-Era..

18.-Conames.

19.--Pronoun.

20.-Boils on eyes.

29.-Egyptian god.

23-French article;

24.-One who disburses.

16 17

136

26.-Maiden changed into heifer.

28. A fower.

30.-Longs.

32.-Inflammable liquid.

33. To expire.

34.-Pliant,

87-Obstructel with sediment. 40.-Upoa.

41.-Descendants of Shem.

13.-Pronoun.

44.-West Indies (abbr.).

40.-To prevent.

47.-Above.

48.-Money factory.

50-Modern.

51.--Indigo.

53. To go up.

55.-Whole.

57.-Party.

58-Plural ending. 39.-To act.

60-To spread for drying.

Vertical.

1-Belginn watering pluce. 2-One, ao inatter which. 3-Medicinal plant, 4.--Pronoun.

5.-Having a chair.

d. Avaricious.

7-Exclamation. 8.-Peraian poet. 0-To keep. 10.-Kind of worm, 12-Part of "to be." 74.-Old pronoun.

12

J.-A liquor.

131

20. Let run out. 21:-Shabbier.

23.-- Behold,

24.--Vessels...

25.-Scolds." 27--Bone.

e-Slang for policeman. 31.-To soak. 31.-Therefore.

33.-Foolish,

•

-36.-Corrects.

37-Boiled slowly.

38. Large country. 3-Prefix: down.

12. Suffix denoting native. 43.-Old Peruvian ruler. 47.-Group taken as whole, 43.-Floor covering.

49. Symbol for tellurium. 51.By.

42.-Preceded.

5%-Compass point. 58.-Negative.

This puzzle took 24 minutes to solve. See how long it will take you to solve it.

YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.

No 3424.

B07ER ARELA 8 TRADICTAT

LAP

[3]T 10 P

ER lo DirigZA

#2088 BEAR

İRELIWZORZID sols --COOZDİZİRİKİ

LADYPLUMB BUZ

PERIOD DREADS TRIRD 30897

SNAPSHOTS OF A MAN TAKING OFF A BLANKET

REALIZES DROWSILY THAT HEIS MUCH "`

TOO HOT

FINDS THAT WITH ENTIRE BLANKET NESTINO CN HIS FEET HE IS NOW EVEN HOTZER,

SITS UP AND SAVAGELY PUSHES BLANKET

ON TO FLOOR

PULLS SHEET UP AGAIN

WILLIANTS

(Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)

SPORT AND

WOMEN'S RECORDS.

By GLUYAS WILLIAMS

PUSHES THE BLANKET DOWN TO THE FOOT"

OF THE BED

BEAUTIFUL COLOUR SCENES in a merry`story of life guards and mermaids i

NONE BUT THE BRAVES

LAUGHS & THRILLS

GALORE!

TRIES TO NICK BLANKET OFF FEET, BUT ONLY GETS IT BACK AMIDSHIPS

FINDS SHEET 60T ENTANGLED WITH BLANKET, AND IS ALSO ON FLOOR

-REALIZES HE PULLED BLANKET UP WITH SHEET, BUT IS TOO SLEEPY "TO DO ANY -

THING MORE ABOUT IT

ATHLETICS.

SURPRISE AT KINGSTON AND

# WALTON-ON-THAMES. Five records were broken at Stam- ford Bridge in the women's A'A.A. Kingston Amateur Regatta was championships. In addition, British concluded at Ravens Ait, when the record time in the 100 yards was chief feature was the defeat of all equalled by 1. K. Walker (Cam-holders of challenge trophies. The bridge H.), Mrs. Cornell, the holder, home club, who held the Thames being beaten.

Cup fours and junior-senior eights, lost the cups to Ibis R.C. and Lens-

BRITISH VISIT TO AUSTRALIA. The persist efforts of golf author- ities in Australia to bring out a team of British golfers are apparently to lowing cable message has been re- be crowned with success. The fol

ceiveil by the secretary of the Aus- tralian Golf Union (Mr. G. M. Royal and Ancient Club of St. An Anstey) from the secretary of the

drown: Probably can arrange for four players, including Tolley, to arrive in Australia middle of Octo-

Mrs. Cornell retained her long jump title with a leap of 18, 11-bury R.C. They, however, took the ber. Will that be suitable or will ins, which beat her own British record Miss M Weston (Middle junior eight trophy from Lensbury it be better to postpone visit until rex LA.C.) beat the British record R.C. London R.C., who were un- in the shot-putting event, in addi; successful twelve months, ago, won tion to winning the discus and javelin contests, and Miss L L the senior eights and the senior Howes repeating ber 1929 victory in fours, while Quinton B.C. scored a the one mile walk, and giving a very well-deserved win in the Thames stylish exhibition while covering the distance in Smins, issees., bent her Cup eights. The pair ours (a new own British record by 0.2-5secs. event) went to the Thames pair, New world's records were estab-H, M. Lane and H. E. West, while lished in the quarter-mile race, won H. E. Hewins was the first winner by Miss M. E. King (Kent Ladies), of the Sunbury Challenge Cup for

whose time in the final-59.1-6secu. was 1.3-5seca, better than the pre- vious best, and in the 80 metres hurdles race. This is a new distance for the women's championships, and the world's record of 12.3-5secs. was hell by a foreigner, but Miss H. Hatt (London Olympiades) clipped one-fifth of a second from this time in winning the Snak"

The quarter mile provided a close finish, and so did the half-mile, which was won by Misa V., Streater (Middlesex Ladies).

{

next year}" The reason that St. Andrews make an alternative pro- posal relates to the terms of the invitation sent from Australia, which suggested that the visitors should arrive early in September, This suggestion was made in the hope that that they would land while the playing conditions were still normal. The members of the union bourne, and Adelaide, and it will scattered between Sydney, Mel- take a day or two to ascertain their

are

senior scullers.-

views, but those whose views are already known consider that the During the course of Walton-on-visit will be accepted for this wear... Thames Regatta, the junior fours The sub-committee, appointed by the (N.A.R.A.) resulted in n win for unior. to deal with the project are the Borough Polytechnic by two Messrs. J. W. Trumble and Robert fect after a dead heat with Spartan Nettleford, who are of the same R.C. The women's fours (nine opinion. In sort, it can be accepted crews) went to Alpha L.R.C., who as almost settled that a team of beat Ate B.C. by a little more than four leading British golfers, cap- length. In the N.A.R.A. double tained by the British amateur cham- sculls final a Weybridge R.C. crew pion, CJ H. Tolley, will play (F. J. Rosewell and B, C. Croucher) matches in the chief States, begin. were the winners.

ning in October.

THE WOMAN'S CORNER.

UTILITY AND ELEGANCE.

Charining effects in fabric design can often only he secured at some sacrifice of hard-wearing properties.

In a plain weave the structure is similar to that of a warp-the welt threads go alternately under and over the warp threads. This means tint if the warp and weft threads are similar and equal in number per inch, the wear is evenly divided over both sets of threads, and a

| hard-wearing fabric is secured.

A modification of the plain weave where the warp and weft threads are unequal in size, or in degree of twist, or in number. per inch, ob viously gives a fabric less balanced in resistance to wear.

Warp and Weft.-

i

MILK AND THUNDER.

Thundery weather usually meanz an unlocked-for supply of sour milk,

AT THE

VILLIAM FOX

with

CHARLES MORTON SALLY PHIPPS

FARRELL MACDONAJA.

TYLER BROOKE

Šorý by JAMES GRUSH aŰ FRED STANLEY Jamaria by DWIGHT COMMINS and FRANCIS MEHEW ALBERT RAY

ALSO

PRODUCTION

RICHARD WAGNER

Famous Music Master Series

QUEEN'S

TO-DAY & TO-MORROW At 2.30, 5.10, 7.16 & 9.20.

LOVABLE!" LAUGHABLE!

See how Marion, as the "Cardboard lover" saves a man from falling into the hands of an adventuress!

MARION DAVIES

IN

THE

CARDBOARD LOVER

AT THE

WORLD

A

TO-DAY"

& TO-MORROW

At 280, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.20.

PICTURE produced on a super-lavish scale taking one with never

"falling interest along the Boulevards of Paris, on the waters

of Venice and then to the Sahara desert where the thrilling climax is enacted !

FAZIL

with

CHARLES FARRELL, GRETA NISSËN

AT THE

STAR

ECHO OF KWANGSI WAR,

COMMANDEERED BOATS TO

BE RETURNED.

TO-DAY & TO-MORROW

It will be remembered that dur ing the attack by the Kwangsi forces on Lo Pau a few months ago, over twenty boats, were cap DOES YOUR MIRROR LIE? tured by the Canton Fourth Gun.

boat Squadron. It is always supposed that the

Now that authority has again mirror cannot lie, consequently heen established many petitions many & woman turns away from her have been sent to the Naval Head. reflection, thinking she sees herself

na others see her,

quarters by people who allege that Her hair appears dull and calour. they are the lawful owners of these less, her eyes tired and washed out.

boats, and applying for their re Then by accident she may catch ease. It is explained that the boats were commandeered by the sight of herself in another glass, and Kwangsi troops against the wishes to her surprise finds things are not Lof the owners.

so bad after all.

It is reported that Admiral Chen Hair, eyes and skin all seem far Chak. Chief of the Naval Head- more pleasant and attractive.

Obviously one mirror is not telling quarters will accede to the request. the truth. Probably none is perfect ly honest, but as a general rule the better the glass the more truc the reflection.

A good test of its veracity is to look at a piece of white paper in the mirror. If the paper takes a yellowish tinge, which it generally docs, then it is pretty certain that one's skin is lean sallow than it ap- pears comforting thought.

Having bought the best mirror that can be afforded, position is all important. The right place is in n good but not too brilliant light at

In some cases, for instance moro- exin, one has a comparatively thick and when this is not used up for highly twisted weft and many fine tea scones it can be utilised for warp threads, which actually entire ly cover the weft. The wear is this making delicious cream cheese.

It is a very simple procedure, and case is obviously all on the fine warp threads. A charming effect is pro- does not take long. Leave the milk duced, but at some sacrifice of hard in a large covered basin for some wearing properties.

In a satin fabric, one has a weave time until it has become solid, where a weft thread passes. under Strain into, another one through a one werp thread, and then over Inrge piece of muslin, gather up

If it is put the full glare of the either four or seven warp threads before it again passes under. This the edges, and tie tightly. Hang up window it means that a double por- gives one face practically all warp throughout the night to allow the tion of light is thrown upon one's threads and the other practically all whey to drain away. A good place unfortunate face because of the re- flection, and slight imperfections in to do this is the tap over the sink.

consequence assume colossal propor Next morning flavour with salt (tions.

weft threads.

The beauty and even sheen of this type of fabric is well known.

But

the side of the window.

The Right Place.

it is unfair to expect hard wear, and bent well. Roll it in a piece of If one mirror habitually gives a The wear is only on one set of dry linen until it is na thick as it more plensing reflection than an- threads, and the binding of the is long. Fold the ends over to pre other, it is a wise plan to take a fabrio by interlacing of threads is vent the cheese spreading, and put peep into that one at the last mo very obvious much less.

between two plates with a heavy ment. A pleasant impression is thus When buying fabrica for hard weight on top: Let it remain like retained, and when a girl thinks she wear a consideration of these points this until required, then turn out on looks her best she can and will be will be helpful.

charming. to a glass dish.

NAVY'S NEW JUMPER. SMARTER MODEL TO SUIT RATINGS.

A crisis in the Navy, has been narrowly averted..

Its nature was revealed in a question by Sir Bertram Falle, the Conservative mernber for Ports- mouth, on the Order Paper of the House of Commons. He naked Mr. Alexander, the First Lord of the Admiralty: Whether he will consider an improved pattern of serge jumper for ratings dressed in Class II., uniform, observing that the present contractor's jumper is too shot in length and too wide in width and hangs very badly, and i that Class II, ratings dislike this jumper.

The First Lord, Mr. Alexander. in reply to the question informed Parliament:

An improved pattern of serge jumper has been adopted to meet the points referred to. New sup- plies are being made to this im proved pattern and will be brought. into general use as stocks of pre- vious patterns are used up.

At 5.30 & 9.20.

THE GREATEST BIRD ACT OF THE CENTURY !

TORCAT'S ROOSTERS

5 OF 60

A "TROUPE

GAME FOWLS - IN... A BIOT OF COMEDY, AUROBATICS" AND ECCENTRICITIES

with

"COCO"

THE ONLY ROOSTER

·COMEDIAN IN THE HISTORY OF THE STAGE

COMING SOON

TO THE

QUEEN'S

WATCH OUT FOR OPENING DATE!