HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
Mistress
birth."
ani Cornish by
Noir Maid: Yer don't say so! I always thought they was caused by tight shoes."
What have you got for dinner?" "Roast beef tricasseed chicken stewed lamb hash baked and fried potatoes pudding milk ice-cream and cake."
Bring me the third, fourth, sixth, eighteenth and nineteenth syllables."
A negro minister was describing the miseries and the persistence of the Prodigal Son.
"Dis young man got to thinkin' 'bout his meanness an' his misery an' be tuk off his 'at an' frowed it away. Den ho tuk of his coat and frowed dat away. Den he tuk off his vest an frowed dat away, Den he tuk off his shirt an' frowed dat away, too. An' den, at last, he como to hisself!"
They tell this tale of a South Coast golfing resort frequently visited by an evening mist off the Channel.
One of the keenest, golfers in the place was an elderly fellow, who always wore a red jacket such as was fashionable about 1980. One day he was observed to have shed this sartorial relic, and someone asked him why.
"Well, he answered, last night, as I was standing waiting at the bus terminus, a woman came up and tried to post a letter in my mouth,"
9
The jurymen had retired to con- sider their verdict. When they re entered the court the judge asked the foreman if they had arrived at
unanimous decision.
"No, my lord," he replied. "Ho have not. I never met eleven such obstinate men in my life."
"I would like an increase "in salary, sir; I'm going to be marri ed.”~
"And you would like to have a little bigger fund to draw on for household expenses
"No, it isn't that. My future wife knows exactly how much I get. I should like a little extre for my own use that she doesn't know about."
Á salesman sold an elderly negro farmer a tractor. Some time after the machine was delivered the salesman called on his customer for pay.
Can you pay me for the tractor, Unde Jim " he asked.
"Pay fo' de tractor!! he asked in astonistunent. "Way, man, yo' done tole me dat in free weeks de tractor would pay fo' hiself."
་
A special preacher, about to as eend the pulpit in a country church, was asked if he would like any particular hymn to be sung to agree with his sermon.
"No, no,
he replied. "da o maiter of fact, I hardly ever know what I am going to say until 1 arrive in the pulpit."
"Oh, well, in that case," said the vicar, "we had better have the hymn for those at sea.!"
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
2
3
4
18 .19
14
95
15
11 12
13
13
B
8
18
17
20
21
4
$3
04
26
28
30
31
32
33
34
36.
..37
39
40
41
43
Across,
44
1.-Half a British admiral.. 3-Might justly be described as
a speed merchant.
7. Behead & Biblical hunter or
curtail a Biblical king. 9.-You are a this of these clues. 11.—An animal which perhaps is as dishonest as its name sug- gests,
13-We all hope it will keep fдe
on his day.
14.-The surname of a woman
novelist who died this year. 18. A fish-cating animal 18One of Queen Elizabeth's fav-
ourites.
90.-Not rough and more than a
vegetable.
22.A gentlewoman of mediæval'
days. 25You do this to yourself each
morning. 24-A lew people really live in
this,
27-When two meet then is the
tug of war.
49
45
25
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, THURSDAY, AUGUST 15, 1929.
SNAPSHOTS OF A WOMAN CHASING A MOTH
`By GLUYAS. WILLIAMS'
BOUNDS TO HER FEET - SMITES HANDS TO WITH CRY OF "MOTH!" GETHER
OPENS HANDS, ANDS THAT MOTH ELUDED
HER
STARES ROUND ROOM TRYING TO PICK UP. TRAIL OF MOTH AGAIN
EPIES MOTH AND FOL- LOWS IT ROUND ROOM, OVER DESK, BEHIND COUCH AND UNDER PI- AND WHERE SHE LOSES TRAIL ABAIR.
FINALLY SEES MOTH ON CEILING. AFTER MAKING ELABORATE PREPARATIONS FOR ANNIHILATING IT, FINDS
IT WAS JUST A SPOT
RETURNS TO BOOK. AND SEWING VERY DISGRUNTLED WITH FAMILY FOR TAKING MOTH 50 CALMLY
(Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)'
SPORT
DUTCH WOMEN CHAMPIONS
WIN AT ILFORD.
AND
FIVE MINUTES LATER BESKS ALL OVER AGAIN, AND SO ON THROUGH THE EVENING
GUYAS WELINTS
7-20
ATHLETICS.
SINGLES CHAMPIONSHIP. Washington. The tennis singles
ARNE BORG PRAISES JAPANESE,
A fine display was given at Valen-championship of the United States
After a nine-months' tour of the Army was won for the "third time tine's Park open-air pool, Ilford, by in four years by Major Robert C. world, Arne Borg, famous speed the Dutch women champions, Miss Yan Vliet, Infantry of the Canal swimmer from Sweden, stopping at Marie Braun, Miss Marie Baron, and Zone, when he defeated Lieut. John the Illinois Athletic Club, Chicago, Miss Jeanne Grendel, when they York at the Columbia Country | years Japan will set the pace for W. Strahan, Reserve Corps, New recently, declared that within five made their first appearance of the Club here. Winning three sets to the world not only in swimming, but English tour. Owing to the illness one, 6-3, 6-3, 38, 64,, Major Van in track and field athletics, Enthu of Miss Joyce Cooper, the national Vliet won another leg on the Sheri siam of the Japanese for athletic champion, the relay race between dan Cup. Lient, Strahan held the activity of all types, their cleverness Holland and England bad to be scratched and individual events sub-cup in 1927. Major Van Vliet was in mastering technique and their stituted.
the faster player, outclassing the New Yorker in most of the volleying Miss Phyilia Harding (Croydon duels. He frequently went up to Ladies') was beaten by Miss Gran-return Straban's smart placements, det over 100 yards back-stroke by while the latter played from the 3secs. in 1min. 15.3-5secs. The race back court generally, Venturing up between Miss Marjorie Hinton (South Mancheater) and Miss Baron over 100 yards breast-stroke was also won by Holland. Mixa Hinton, who swam at the Olympic Games, was fourteen only last month"
Miss Marie Braun, who is the Olympic back-stroke champion and European free-style champion gave two exhibition swims, in crawl and back-stroke, Her, time for the 100 yards crawl was 72sec.
E. W. Pascoe (Plaistow United) did well in the Essex quarter-mile 19.-You may try to do this to your championship, winning easily in
"-conscience.
21.-A bird martyr to fashion. 22-Part of a legion and a ̈most important part of a legionary, 23.-Add five to change this animal
into a bird.
24. This animal used to haunt the
foresta of Europe.
28-It is possibly bad to do this
too much to emotion. 29.-What the Prohibitionist in America would like to do with Prohibition.
39.-Useful to some artists." 31.-Relatively affectionate or al-
fectionately relative. 32.-An adjective often applied to.
but not always deserved by artistic performances. -- 33.-These by definition are head-
less and limbless. 34.-Indubitably it.
י,
35.-Fruits from the Far East are
this, and so is jazz:
37.-A useful animal in siege war-
faře.
1-Coupled with ways but not 39-You cannot hoe this sort.
With roads.
י
33-Is worn out with use and ends
in a ceremony.
30.-Naver do this with som
else's function.
38.-We don't expect this in June. 20-A Labour peer
41-Not out yet out and out. «42-You should always treat your
elders with this.
43.-Who must be obeyed, 44.-Becomes.
5-A French-island will make.
this eBay.
Down:
-An ancient god and a tree
make violence. 2.-This is usually described as
3The Saxons settled in and mal gave a name to this county.
One of our nearest, relatives, 3.Ash both pasty and tasty, B.These are what happens. 7-Swift was our greatest writer Ps of this,
You do this after catching the
70-An animal which sounds like
you
12 --Don't do this to your wicket. 16.-Germans but not Hune 17.-The old druggiata specialized
un thesor
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION,
DOCTOR ORDA|I|N||
F
ROAR
AN TRIP OVID MIE
COB NOR MAP RAN
SIAN NOVELLOIN
DERBY PAN PIANO
HAND
E DRO
TAKIN. (D]1[8]C}
5mins. 49.2-5secs.
WILLIE SMITH AGAIN ̧· Willie Smith won his return time- limit billiards match with Fred Lindrum by 1,683 at Melbourne, the final scores being: Smith, 28,374: Lindrum (rec. 10,000), 94,881. Smith's (Continued on viext Column.) '
to the net during the second set, Strahan scored a couple of well carned points on overhead drives, one of which broke his racquet, forcing him to use & substitute with which he was not familiar. Pro- tracted rallies were few, but one in the last set stood out when Strahan came back after Van Vliet needed only one point to clinch the match. This comeback gave Strahan the nine game and brought him within one game of tying the set, but in attempting a placement in the succeeding game, Strahan drove cutaide for the point, ending the match.
4
best breaks were 456 and 309, while indrum made 333, 220, 252, 917, and 101 (unfinished)
Smith's winning margin in the first match was 2,231
i
standards of their performances in remarkable advance shown in the the last five years, led Mr. Borg to make this prediction.
The famous swimmer left Sweden last September and went to Japan through Russia. At one meet in Japan Borg appeared before 36,000 people, by far the largest crowd that that he ever saw or heard of at an aquatic carnival anywhere. "The Japanese are simply wild about swimming," declared Borg,
Borg spent two months in Japan and then went to Shanghai, where: he gave an exhibition. Then, fol- lowed similar trips to Manila, Singa pore, Dutch India, Australia, New Zealand, Fiji Islands and Hawaii. He spent two months on the Pacific coast, visiting Los Angeles and San Francisco..
In Australia Borg won fire cham- pionships. Ho captured the 100," 920, 440 and 880-yard free style titles! and also the one-mile. In the latter: event he clipped 30 seconds from the world's record,, with a time at 21 mins, seca.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
WHEN CHILDREN ARE DIFFICULT.
Many parents, who see the wis dom of allowing a small child sa much freedom as possible in order that he may develop his own in dividuality, feel, none the less, the need of exercising some sort of control over him, for they realise the danger of his growing up with. out any idea of self-discipline and self-controt
many
Unfortunately, in their attempts to control the child, too parents allow their feelings to get the better of them, and matters are Dually made worse...
It can be taken as safe rule that parents should never attempt to control a young child while they are under the influence of strong feeling, we fi
The best way of controlling the
Without self-control it is impos- sible for parents to control a small child effectively. In an atmosphere of parental self-control, the child will gradually become accustomed to the idea of self-discipline..
THE PIN-MONEY TYPIST.
Few girls are less loved than the girl who works, not for her living, but to amuse herself and incidental- ly have a little money to spend on chocolates, clothes, or on whatever. she does spend her money.
She arrives late, takes a long lun- cheon bour, and leaves early, all as if it were a matter of supreme in- difference to her whether or not she retained her post, and rather as if she were conferring a favour on the office and its inmates by coming. there at all.
She is naturally able to dress much more amartly than the girl who has to pay for her board and lodging, and her companions would. be more than human if they did
feelings is to think out" the betage that a good education, which not rather resent her being taken Nhaviour that has provoked them. they have probably had, gives, they for the scretory or head girl, sirce This dissipates the feelings and, by generally succeed, and such girls the apparently earns the largest restoring the parent to reasonable are seldom, if ever, grudged their salary in the office, where she works
mind,
than the
others. his self-control helps him to recover the other type of pin. There is, however, no how against
AL THEN B STOP 13
ELITE USUAL MUD TERM DONOR NEAR HEN ROTRA
RUM
ON MOVE ANON TO
RSOME
ROBERT
GR
KE
24.
success.
lexs
Take the case of a small child, money" worker who so disturbs the employment ofthe "pin- who uses "naughty words." Think the harmony of office life, but at money" typist, and in any case it it out. To the mother it is simply least her companion workers need would only be an interference with dreadful. What is it to the child 1: not fear her competition as far as personal freedom if there were, HD,
Nothing at all. Calm reason saya, business goes. S
There are, of course, exceptions, ignore the child and he will prob Probably she is a typist because, and many of the young women who ably stop using the words. It he she is too lazy or stupid to fit her work in offices while not really re- does not, then some such phrase as self for any other career, and is quiring to do so are quite as serious. *Mother doesn't like those words, under the impression that she has and interested in their business ss dear, my work wonders, and if chosen an easy job, but an inzitess those who work that they may live. she can direct his attention to his and stupidity are the very last quali It might be argued that they are favourite nursery book by saying: ties for a good typist to possess, she even keener on their work or they Mother likes those words," she will probably retain her position of wouldn't be there. With the advan. has controlled him in the right way more or less unofficial office gil.";} (Conlisted on Previous Column.)
#1
A THRILLING ROMANCE OF THE UNDERWORLD
-presenting Norma Shearer in her most striking role!
NORMAN SHEARER,
LOWELL SHERMAN
AND
GWEN LEE
IN
A
LADY OF CHANCE
AT THE
QUEEN'S
P. TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
At 230, 5.10, 7:15 & 9.20,
The famous wonder dog at his best in another thrilling adventure story!
·WARNER BROS, PRESENT
RIN-TIN-TIN
IN
TRACKED BY POLICE
THE
AT THE
WORLD
WARNER BROS. PRODUCTION
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY:
At 2.80, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.20.
SPLENDID acting, delightful scenery, drama, thrills and romance in a lavish screen version of Victorien Sardon's famous stage play !
ODETTE
BRITISH PRODUCTION:
with
FRANCESCA BERTINI, WARWICK WARD
AT THE
STAR
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW at 5.30 & 8.20.
いな、
SATURDAY at 2.80, 6.80 & 9.20.
DIRECTORY
OR
THE FAR EAST
1929
Classified List of Manufacturers
and Merchants in Japan,
China, Straits, Etc.
Hong Kong Daily Press Office.
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