HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
An Abordonian decided to build a new house for himself.
He telephoned to the secretary of his lodge and asked him to send along a dozen free masons!
Beatrice; ** Dad, I want some money for my trousseau."
Dad: *My dear girl! I didn't know you were even engaged 1".
Beatrice: Great Scott, dad. Don't you ever read the papers
"We had a wonderful trip! We saw snowcrested summits leaping towards the cerulean heavens; we 17 foaming torrents raging through the bottoms of shadowry canyons; we looked down from beedling orage into the depths of limpid lakes; we traversed sylvan glades shot with flashes of golden sunlight; we-"?
How many miles to the gallon did you get t
The somewhat choleric elderly man tapping loudly on the pave- ment with his walking-stick was glaring in the direction of a small
dawding along with the infinita leisure of the ten-year-old,
A young woman who was passing heard the topping, and took the
|
A young Indy entered the station. ery store and naked for a pound tin of floor wax.
I'm sorry, miss," said the clerk; Hall wo cerry is scaling wax.”
"Don't be silly!" she replied. Who'd want to wax a ceiling ?"
A man who was rather the worse for drink entered a chemist's. and asked for a glass of London gin,
- We don't krep London gìn,” the facetious young assistant told him. "We only keep three kinds of gin: oxygin, hydrogin, and nitrogía.'
A Scot on holiday in Palestine came to the Sea of Galilee, and on inquiring the price of a pleasure bont found that they were 3a. Bd. an hour...
Three-an'-saxpence, he exclai med, and we can get one in Aber- deen for saxpence !!!
Ah! but this is Palestine, an swered the bostman, “and these are the waters on which our Lord walked."
Nae wonder He walked," was the dry retort.
old gentleman gently by the arm. A schoolboy, the worry of his "Come along she said, sooth-teacher's life, handed in the follow
"You'll be all right with ing composition on cats:- ingly.
One look into the fiery are that was turned upon her made her re- alize her mistake.
"Oh, I'm so sorry!" she faltered. I thought you were blind!"
Blind, madam" shouted the I'm trying to attract the man. attention of my confounded grand- 20!"
"Cats that's meant for little boys to mail and tease is called Mauiteso cats. Some cats id reckernized by how quiet their purrs is, and these is named Pur- rsian cata. The cats what. han very bad tempers is called An gorie cats, and eats with deep feelins is called Feline cats. I don't like cats,''*-
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
2
3
5
8
7
6
0
10
11
12
13
14
id
17
19
21
93
*
26
97
24
PU
འ་
02
B
#
30
31
32
33
พ
33
30 37
38
30
41
42
43
44
45
'48
47
48
40
NO
31
Across. 1.-Snow ones are to be avoided.
6. Between the Mersey and the
Dee.
8.A useful defence.
D.-A sound that might appro
priately be uttered by a sex Animal.
10.Scottish Thomases.
12. The wild goat of 17 across. 14-The best kind of cow for the
dairyman,
17. The home of 12 across.
10. The poet wrote an ode to a
Greek one.
20.-Not a pro.
:
1.- you do this you hasten, 23-Change the tail of 19 across
to get this river.
24-A star of former days. 20-The kind of bull to avoid, 3. He is clearly a beginner. 9.-A drinking-cup of consider-
able use to Scots rhymesters. 30.-The crocodile's cousin. 31~A common character
French fiction.
133,--Our: ancestors
have
may drunk this while at work in
this, but 35A thousand makes this many. 38.You find it in many pills. 39.-It used to mean exactly the
opposite.
41.—Or madam.
42-An unpleasant sort of fellow. 43.-Reverse the farmer's friend. 44. The core of a firmly held be-
lief.
-45-8 across may keep you from
this.
47.-Coin of the realm,
A married man may be, a bachelor of this..
150Describes a kind of decret.
51.It is unpleasant to be this in
"
B4
18
40
0.-Peter should suggest her. 11. One of England's earliest sea
fights.
13. The commonest misspelling of the lady of the penny, 16.-Many villages possess one. 16. Regarded by pedestrians as
the car of Juggernaut. 18-Has in more than one country.
succeeded to kings and em
perora..
20. Describes summer drinks,
-Buries.
25.-If your outlook is this it is the
reverse of cheerful. 27-Take nothing from this and
leave a commen verb.
32. The English' bard who troun-
ced the Scotch reviewers, 34-What a sentry should be. 35. The Norse Olympus... 37.Always be this for the best. 39. Perhaps because it is filled
.with a herb this regretful. 40.-The best kind of friend. 48.-For an Adriatic holiday. 45.--We are French. 49-A famous poem tells of its
light.
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
HESSIAN IBRETS
E
IN OBLO AP U ELBOW IDE CRANE
10 AWNING STIRRUP BATHE
R
the jaws of 30 acrosphetas SOS DEBANK U
69. The island of
ruled by New Zealand.
63-If its last letter were
"
most ex-servicemen would re- cognise an old friend,
-Beware the gun that is this.
"Down"
Daniel's King 2-A plant that the Bible des
cribes as smoking. 3-You can fish for this in Seot-
Land
1.-A lady who failed to get to
the top.
A preposition with a humor-
ons beginning.
The lady of Hyde Park Simply fell into disuse.
LEBO BI TOI
SEAS KO SAILOR
BOX
H
ARKS
OP HORSES BED
ERA SITS SBAC
OPA
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. MONDAY, AUGUST 12, 1929.
(SNAPSHOTS OF A BOY TRYING TO KEEP COOL
ASKS WHAT CAN BE DO TO KEEP COOL, MS SO HOT
WRIGGLES AROUND
·FOR. TEN MINUTES TRYING TO FIND COOL
·POSITION IN WHICH TO READ
IS TOLD TO TAKE OFF SHIRT AND SHOES AND STOCKINGS, AND LIE DOWN QUIETLY FOR A WHILE
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
·MARIES MONOTONY OF LYING DOWN BY TRYING TO STAND ON
HIS HEAD
́CALLS OVER TO EDDIE GET STAMP ALBUM SELZER TO COME ON OUT AND ENGAGES OVER AND LOOK AT HAIN WRESTLING MATCH STAMPS WITH HIM. WITH EDDIE
{{Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
DECIDES LYING DOWN { MAKES HIM HOTTER. GETS A BOOK
LATER ASKS MOTHER WHAT CAN HE DO TO GET COOL - KEEPIKA QUIET JUST SEEMS 70 MAKE JIM HOTTER,
PICTURES AND PLAYS.
The next Jenny Jugo-picture to be produced by the Ufa has been titled The League of the Three." (Previous tentative title was Jen- ny Criminal). The production will, be supervised by Alfred Zeis- ler, while Hans Behrendt will do the directing Jenny Jugo's part- ner will again be Enrico Benfer.
***
attraction and lively bookings are reported everywhere.
The New Zealand Herald, published at Auckland, says the pic ture is of unexcelled box office value.
A moving photographic naval spectacle of extraordinary merit and interest, and certain to be widely popular, was shown to Prince George, a large gathering of Naval officers, and the Press at the New Gallery, Londen recently, This is entitled "The Royal Navy
The life story of Emma, Lady Ashore and Afloat Britain's Hamilton, was romantic enough naval strength is displayed in the for any fim." The Divine Lady picture in simple, straightfor-follows her singular career closely Wolfram Junghans, Ufa's direc-ward way, without any undue fog enough without treading on the tor of educational animal flas, has wagging and as an honest record of Censors coras. The divine lady! just added two new lodgers to his naval daily service. It was not ex-
has not too many lovers, contenting: interesting household in Neubabels-hibited in ita complete and origin- herself in the picture with Charles berg. They are a pair of badgers al form, but it still comprehends Greville, his uncle Sir Willian and have been dubbed by Mr. all the routine work from training Hamilton, and last, but not least, Junghans as Mr. and Mrs. Marz, exercises to finished operations on
On Nelson. who will appear in a new Ufa- a large scale. educational entitled." Artistic Ani- mals" The construction of their "underworld" dwelling-cave, their ways anda means of lising therein, are being carefully observed and followed by the cameraman and ought to prove of great interest on
the screen.
particularly that of Trafalgar, show a mastery of organisation, and reach a realism quite thrilling, The acting is worthy of the theme. Corinne Grifith as Emma locks as lovely as heart could wish and hibits sincerity in her emotion and grace in her gesturea Victor Yar- coni realises the portrait of Eng- land's greatest naval hero, and is allways manly, restrained, and pis- turesque. F. B. Warner and Mon- tagu Love give good support,
The Divine Lady is not a
Spectacularly, this biographical The scents thrilled even the ex-is a triumph The naval battles, perts in the audience from begin ning to end, and bursts of applause constantly broke the silence. The working of the guns, the raising of anchors, the signalling, the tor- pedo work, the aircraft carrier, the Jubmarine methods, and the manzuvring of the great battle- The Equator Tramp" is the ships were all intensely fascinat title of another new Ufa comedy ing. Not less so were those parto starring Lilian Harvey, Alexander of the picture, that dealt with Sascha, Miched von Newlinsky, minclaying and gun-forging. Karl Platen, Rudolf Biebrack, The Admiralty appear to have Wolfgang Kahle and Valeria co-operated to fine purpose in the Blanka, which has just boen com production, and the result is en-talkie in the full meaning of the pleted ander supervision of Gunough to make the blood of every ther Stapenhorst and the direction patriot surge and tingle. of Johannes Gater. Miss Valeria Blanka, a bora Hungarian, is naturalized British subject, being the daughter-in-law of the English author Henry Arthur Jones. She has played leading parts in Holly wood as well as in England and Germany.
%
According to reports published by the Film Weekly, Sidney, Australia, Fritz Lang' Ufa super film "Spies is scoring success after success throughout Australia. Wherever shown it becomes a great
*
word, but it has patches of speech and song and bursts of sound with
Vitaphone Symphony Orchestral; accompaniment. The story is con cisely told and the continuity ad- mirable. The photograph and the grouping are superb and only at Tare moments is false sentiment permitted to creep in and injure the general effect.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
PRACTICAL WAYS WITH PERFUME.
On hot or sultry days, when the strain of work seems unbearable, few things refresh mind and body more than a fragrant Bower per fume, such as a sweet pen or ja mine, with its subtle suggestion of cool garden and country glades.
Spray the perfume in the air. in the immediate vicinity; a little goes a long way. If the head has begun to throb already, dab a little scent on the temples and nape of the Lock; it is wonderfully cool and soothing.
Solid eau de Cologne and other " frozen" scents are very handy for this purpose."'
To refresh hot hands that seem swollen and continually moist, pour & drop or two of scent into the cup
wash the
ped palms and quickly wash T hands therewith
Finally give them a rub with handkerchief that has been sprayed with scant. This simple treatment both cools and degreases the skin.
When night air seems stifling and sleep will not come, try spraying a Sittle scent on a towel and hanging the latter at the head of the bed.
The perfume refreshes the air and is conductive to that period of rest DERWEN ful case which is the forerunner of sleep. WAVE CREA If oil of Invender is used, gnat” and mosquitoes will be discouraged STREETS from making iritating attacks upon the sleeper face.
L 10 BIO OM
ASHES IRIL
EA
ENSIGN
8EA
DE
A Camari afternoon ensemble in chiffon of the new'nile, green,
WITH AN EYE TO SPECTACLES.
Many more people wear spectacles now-a-days when it is realised that aids to eyesight are not necessarily a hall-mark of age.
Spectacles to be long-lasting and efficient must be well treated. Ay
A rough surface, or a speck of flinty dust, for instance, will scar the polished surface of the lensi
The glasses should be rested on the frame edges if they are placed on a table or anywhere but in the case
The interior of the oase, too, should be kept free from dust on its velvet lining,
Both hands should be used to put the spectacles on or take them off. If one hand only is used the hinges kre strained and become loose?"","
Polishing the Lions,
A piece of soft chamois leather should be used for polishing the lena, as a handkerchief may have collected dust from the pocket: or hand-hag
Crumpled tissue paper is also a good polishing material A little. wax tablet, which may be bought at the store, if rubbed lightly on each lons and polished off prevents steam- ing.
Hold the edge of the lens firmly while polishing, especially if the glass is a trife loose, otherwise it will slip round and throw the focus out:
A COMEDY OF FUN & FASHION!
High Jinks in Atlantie City with the famous partners in 2 Most: hilarious mood!
The
COMENS
and KELLYS
with
∙in
Atlantic City
GEORGE SYDNEY, VERA GORDON. MACK SWAIN, KATE PRICE
ALSO
NEW FELIX CARTOON
AT THE
AND
LATEST M.G.M. NEWS
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
QUEEN'S At 280, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
LAUGHS AND LOVERS!
"A whimsical, dainty farce In which a pair of silk stockings cause consternation in the home of a young married couple I
LAURA LA PLANTE
IN
SILK STOCKINGS
AT THE
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY!
WORLD A 15 & 9.20 Only,
8&7.15 Chinese Picture. “Lova's Sacrifice
THE BIG COMEDY SPECIAL I
Sydney Chaplin
AT THE
fin-fest
SKIRTS
STAR
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
5.80 & 9.20.
THE ROMANCE OF A "GOLD DIGGER'
Shearer
AT
TH
QUEEN'S
A LADY OF CHANCE
YOU KNOW
THURSDAY TO SATURDAY
YOU WON'T WRITE
So better send your old mesi-mate Weekly Press while he is away. Let us have his Address, and send
87.50 and we will send it to him
FOR SIX MONTHS
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