HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
"I hear that saxophonist paid $100 for his instrument,”
That's a lot of money to blow
་ ་ 4|
in."
Now, there's what call a fine servant."
An elderly lady In Egypt was being shown round the Pyramids.
"Madam," said the guide im- pressively as they halted opposite one of the mighty erections, "it took, nearly 20 years to build this."
“Yes, he's been in our family fored hours.
The Byrd Antarctic Expedition took along a set of chessmen. They shouldn't have done that. After all, they're only going to be goue for two years.
Sy," said the stranger. "how can find a policeman"
There's one method that never! fails." repling the inhabitant, “ try .to park your car somewhere,"
I knew a man who knew before- hand the exart year, month, day, hour, and manner of his death and whose premonition was fulfill ed to the smallest particular.'
How did he know all that "
The Judge told him."
*
The meek little inan"was walking back from the funeral of his big and masterful wife. Suddenlya. dislodged slate whirled down and landed with a resounding crack on his hend.
I can quite lieve it," rejoin- the viitor vigorously,
Our workmen at home are very nearly as bad.
Mrs. Newriche had just arrived from a tour of Europe, and her long-suffering acquaintances had no
opportunity to forget the fact.
Gosh he murmured, looking
Sarah must have reached In Heaven already."
ק 21
Diner You charge me more. for this steak than you used to,
Restaurant Manager-I have to pay more for it. The price of meatį has gone up.
Diner--And the steak is smaller shar itärsed to be.
Restaurant Manager-That, of course, is on account of the scarcity of heel
18
14
And Paris the gushed. Paris is just wonderful: The people are all so well educard- not at all like they are in this crude country. my dear! Why, even the street cleaners can talk French
יין
He was looking for a quiet place to park his car, and seeing a side street, turned into it. drew up, put the brake on, and was walking off when a palicenan appeared,
"You can't www your саг there!"
Why not? It's a quiet spot.” "I tell you, you can't leave it there."
But, iny good man, it's a cul- M-514.
"I don't care if it's a Roila- toyer-bring it out!"
Rishop Anderson of Boston told story' at dinners
A young minister with a swell- ed head," he began, preached a Bermon of Sundity down Florida, and after it was over he spied his hom bishop down in the congregation.
Bishop,' he said, 'I fatter my- self that was a gold sermoa-and what do you think they are paying ne for it Only 825!"
Only 823 said the bishop Way, my boy, I wouldn't have preached that surmion for $1,000.
·CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
9
3
31
15
10
1)
23
211
08
30
31
32
73
34
35
30
37
39 |
39-
40
43.
44
D
50
53
54
38
40
46
47
$1
35
NO
60
1.-Trick.
Across.
3.-German river.
8. Pain.
11.-Cathedral residence.
12.-Vehicle.
16.-Clergyman,
16.-Comrade:
18.-Fool.
20.-Eviscerate.
21.-Rage.
Interfere.
24.-Kindly.
25.-Stellar,
28.-Deprivation.
31.-Flowers.
32-Warmth.
34.--Argument.
35-Small thing...
36.--Remain.
نادم
81
38-Whist, golf, or carriage.
40.-Pace.
43-Boon.
45.-Time.
48-Wild flower.
51.-Educate.
52-Speaking part
54-Reast of burden,
55.-Church season.
56.-Punishment adjective. 38.-Game.
36.-Time-teller.
€0.-Mussolini.
61.-Unpleasant.
62-Exclamation,
1.--Concert.
2. Small fish.
Down.
3.-Clerical title. 4-Famous General. B-Oppression."
6-Trim.
7.-Mistake. 3-Play-riddle.
10.-Eigh mountain. 13-Feminine name.
14.-Summit.
16.-Silent.
17.-Weight.
19-Number.
23-Part of church.
21.-Hairy akin.
24-Hurries.
20-Table,
27-Go away.
62
20,-Oken. 20.-Watch.
-Navy letters. 33. Fear. 30.-Arranged. '37.—List of days. 30.-Archipelago.
Hubbub.
42-Aids to rest. 43.-Weapon,
44.-Short for doctor.
46.---Before.
47.Deep bole.
49.-Knock.
50.-Fish.
52-Famous battlefield..
33.-Altend
53.---Jest. 37,-Poem.
10
42
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
DERBY CAW ASCOT
20 PHIAL H
G
JAIST'S
LI
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, TUESDAY, 'AUGUST 6, 1929.
P ALL FAD MISHAPS NEUTERS
STEPPING OUT
EXPERIMENTS WITH STANDING UP ALONE AND ACTUALLY TAKES A FEW SHAKY LITTLE STEPS
MOTHER'S SO PERSIS-" TENT, PICNING HIM UP LIKE THIS TO SIVE" HIM A START
WELL, IT WAS INTERESTING BUT DECIDES THAT HE UKES OLD-FASHIONED WAY OF GETTING AROUND
BEST
WELL THE QUICKEST WAY TO GET PEACE IS TO 60 THROUGH WITH IT. BUT JUST ONE STEP MIND YOU
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS .
SAY, LISTEN TO MOTHER SHRIEKING TO DADDY
COME QUICK, BÄSY" IS WALKING
THERE, THE SHOW'S OVER. NO, THERE .SN'T ANY USE CALL- ING DOWN TO AUNT MABEL TO COME OP
GUAYAS WILJAMS.
(Cenyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc)
SPORT
L, CAVE SETS UP NEW RECORDS.
3hrs. 33mins. 99.1-5secs.
HERE THEY ARE COPYING HIM TO DO IT AGAIN. FEELS UNEASILY HE'S STARTED SOMETHING HES GOING TO RESRET
.. MAYBE TOMORROW
YEHL. PUT HIS ACT ON |
AGAIN, BUT HE DOES NIT., WORK AGAIN TODAY
T
AND ATHLETICS.
EPEE CLUB MEDAL POOL. The Epée Club Medal Pool beld at the Hurlingham Club's Gardens, Fulham, produced much excellent duelling among cleven competitors, The winner was T. Praem with one defeat, while Dr. P. G. Dosne and Geo. I. Burt, ex-champions with the foil and épée respectively, tied for second place with two defeats each.
| SÜNNINGDALE », OXFORD AND
CAMBRIDGE.
At
Many prominent golfers took part in the match between Sunningdale and the Oxford and Cambridge Golfing Society, which commenced at Sunningdale recently. The first day's play consisted of two series of singles encounters. Sunningdale won the morning matches by 7 points to 3, and the afternoon series by 9 to 1. Tolles, playing for the society, narrow escaped defeat at the hands of S. K. Thornbarn in the morning. He made several ex- cursions into the heather, and Thorburn became darmy one, the last hole, however, his seconul shot was trapped in a bunker, and Tailey, winning the hole in 4 to 5: halved the match. The Prince of Wales and the Duke of York were among the spectators in the after- noon, and they joined the Tolley Hartley match at the tenth hole. At this point Tolley was three down. but the champion, playing brilliant golf, then won six of the next seven holes and finished the match on the seventeenth green, to secure the so- this Ciety's solitary victory in
L. Cave (Vegetarian C. nad A.C.) won the six hours tandem pared eveling race of the Southern Coun- cies C. ..., at. Herne Hill track re cently, and set up nine new records, the previous best figures, with one exception. having stood to the credit of C. H. Bartlett since 1912.
The real struggle lay between
The finish was very interesting, Cave and W. B. Temme (Glendene C.C.). Care, in the six hours, Praem needing to defent J. Green- covered 100 miles 390 yards, against wood in the final bout in order to Bartlett's record of 131 miles 1,257 34ve a barrage. Greenwood proved yards, and Temme, who had led for difficult 'opponent, successfully the first fifty miles, was second with parrying several good attacks, and 136 miles 1.500 yards. Temme cover- calling upon Praem to defend more ed fifty miles in ihr. 45mins, 42.9.5 than once; an excellent fight ending sees.. but soon afterwards Cave took with the latter getting through to the lead, and he was some distance the target with a brilliant longe, ahead at 100 miles, which he cover-His single reverse came from Burt ed 17! 3hr. 39mina.. 52-5secs., in his eighth bout. Burst was in against F. W. Southall's record of fine form in the early stages, taking six victories in succession from the Cave began to get inside. Bart-start, but succumbed in his next two lett's figures at 110 miles, his time bouts by fèche attacks from H. T being shrs. mins. 0.2-5secs, against H. Boad and Dr. P. R. Doyne. Barlett's thrs. Smins., 59.1-5secs.
BAKER WINS BIG WALK. Cave, continuing to beat records for various distances, completed the six Those experienced judges who hours by covering 160 miles 330 thought that W. P. Baker, of the yards, thus improving on Bartlett'a Queen's Park Harriers, started much
100 MILES record by 5 miles 30 yards.
too fast in the London to Brighton
RACE AT HERNE HILL. Cave also set up the following re-and Back walking race of 104 miles, cords-120 miles, 4hrs. 25mina. were probably right.
F. W Southall, of the Norwood 21.1-5secs.; 130 miles, 4hrs. 49mins. Although he repeated his success 30.2-5secs.; 140 miles, Shrs, 13mins. "of 1926 in no uncertain manner, his Paragon C.C., won the 100 miles tandem-paced race at the Marlboro 13.4-38ees; 150 miles, Shrs. 30mins, time, 18 hr. 38 min. 7.2-5sec., was 30.2-5secs.; 160 miles, 5hrs. 59mins. not only more than half an hour A.C. meeting at Herne Hill, his time 30.1-5aeca.; four hours, 100 miles 565; worse than the record of 18hr. 5min. being 3hr, 31min. 0.1-5sec. In doing yds.; five hours, 134 miles 640 yds. 51.3-5sec. which he set up three so he beat his own record of 3hr. 33min. 22.1-5sec., established last Temme also beat the previous record years ago, but was 24min. 30.2-5sec. for six hours.
slower than the former record ac-Fear, and also his records from 51 The order of finishing was as complished in 1907, by T. E. Hamiles to 100, Southall beat F. H. follows:-L Cave (Vegetarian C. mond, when the course was half a Wyld (Derby) by 7 laps, the and A.C.), 160 miles 300 yds., 1; W.mile longer and worse in surface B. Temme (Glendene C.C.). 156 than it is now. miles, 1.500 yds., 2: J. A. Redmill Both Baker and Spicer were some- (Warren CC), 140 miles 1,000 yds., what distressed at the finish, but 3: C. G. Bowtell (Norwood Parn- Scott was remarkably fresh. J. N. gon), 147 miles 28 yds.. 4; C. Scott Thomas (Belgrave Harriers) was the walk three times. J. C. Johnson (Highbury C.C.), 149 miles 400 yds.. fourth in 21hr 35min. 7sec., and (Surrey Walking Club and Brighton 5: F. W. Harris (Poly. C.C.), 143 became the only man who has done Boys Club) finished fifth, 21hr 40
min. 43sec. miles 100 yds., 6...
(Continued on next Column.)
series.
SOUTHALL" WINS.
+
latter's time being 3br. 36min. 13.2-5 sec., with J. E. Holdsworth (Ken- tish Wheelers) third in 3hr, 45min. 45.4-58ec.
i
THE WOMAN'S CORNER
YOUR HOME AND MINE.
MINT FLAVOURED. (CES- AND PUNCH.
Ju
-use.
For punch have plenty of mint, strip off the leaves, wash and then let them dry Crush in a mortar, just cover with boiling water, and leave to soak for 15 minutes.
Strain off the liquid and add to it
When
of
WHEN YOU START A JOB;
If you are just starting in a job, and it is your first job into the bargain, here are a few things you will find it is most useful to have- that is, if you have not got them already. And they are such obvious things, really, that I expect most of you have them. This is just a reminder.
1-Awatch that keeps good time. Nobody likes girl about the place who never knows the correct time, or is continually asking, "What's the time, please?"
Mint has many uses other than to be served with lamb, as a Aavour- ing to be cooked with new potatoes a cup of grape juice and the like and green peas, to be made into quantity of orange juice. jelly, or dried in bunches for winter coal, add whatever amount
Those are everybody's ways alcohol you need. Put on the ice with mint.
and serve very cold, with straws Here are A PEXAMEULATE ideas for its utilisation.
some more unusual through which to sip it. Mint Jelly, On summer days, ices and punch HLASSITUDE
Mint jelly makes a flavoured with mint are refreshing and appetising indeed. Here is a change from mint sauce, and is an your first berth you may find numer recipe for each. For the ices pick excellent way of preserving mint for bundle of, fresh green mint. Put and wash and bruise a good-sized winter use.
T
C ROUT
|LASS. T L ORE PURLOIN ERE [PE}A|}}} [R] [I] }D CHIN
MELABORATE
N
A
S IMAGINATION PANNIER TELLERS TOW P DAD. TIT NN WHOLE G EXITS QUE BYRON
:
delicious
Of course, when you do arrive at ous clocks about; but, on the other. hand, there may not be one in your room. So be prepared!]
Steep whatever quantity of leaves
2.-A fountain-pen is always into a basin and pour over it two you wish for an hour in a covered cups of boiling water. Dissolve joz. vessel in cold water. Strain and handy. If your chief comes into your room in a hurry, and finds of gelatine in a little boiling water, chop up finely."
To each cupful of leaves allow something there waiting to be sign Put to it the juice of six lemons, four oranges, and two cups of sugar. half a cup of sugar boiled in one cuped by him, he will be exceedingly. of water with half an oz. of gelatine | appreciative if you hand him a pen Pale Green Colouring.
dissolved therein, and the juice of because he has left his on his desici Drain off the water from the must, half a lemon, plus one cup of vine- This often happens quite unexpect
edly. squeezing the leaves as dry as gar. possible, and add this mint-saturat Toss the mint then into the 3-A coat-frock overall is a pos- ed water to the other ingredients, sweetened, flavoured gelatine, boil session not to be scoffed at. On your Colour pale green with a little all together for ten minutes. Add first day at work take a careful vegetable colouring, freeze, and a little green colouring and tie stock of any other girls about, if Etone in a cool, there are any, and notice if any serve garnished with fresh sprigs down securely. dark cupboard.
of them wear overalls."
E
of mint.
AT "HE."
THE GREATEST HUMAN DRAMA EVER SCREENED/
A TREAT FOR YOUNG AND OLD ALIKE I
UNCLE TOM'S CABIN
QUEEN'S
A HARRY FOLLARD Production
Two Million Dol-, lers in money and two yuri la time spent to make th wonder of shoj Hage, the miracle of the screRC
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW SPECIAL TIMES:
2.30, 5.00, 7.15 & 9.30.
SPECIAL PERFORMANCE FOR CHILDREN
on WEDNESDAY at 10.30 a.m.
Prices: Children 30 cts.
Adults: Usual Matinee Prices.
IF YOU LIKE MYSTERY, LAUGHTER, AND THRILLS GALORE, SEE—.
JEAN HERSHOLT AND ALICE JOYCE
13
JJ
IN
WASHINGTON
SQUARE
A mystery drama that will keep you guessing. A love story that ̈
will hold your sympathy. A plot that reaches an unexpected climax!
AT THE
WORLD
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW.
At 2.30, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.20.
HE was a writer of fiery South-Sea romances, but when he tried to make love according to his own formula, the results were disastrous !
WICKEDNESS
PREFERRED
with
LEW CODY:
AILEEN PRINGLE, GEORGE K. ARTHUR
AT THE
41
STAR TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
A SPECIAL PERFORMANCE OF
UNIVERSAL'S $2,000,000 MASTERPIECE
11
UNCLE
TOM'S CABIN
WILL BE GIVEN AT THE
QUEEN'S TO-MORROW
AT 10.30 A.M.
A splendid opportunity for the children to see in motion pictures one of the greatest stories
Wever written! Prices: Children 30 utam Adults, Usual Matinee Prices.
At 5.30 & 9.20.
THERE'S A LONG, LONG TRAIL
of
Bags, Fleas," Flica, Beetles, Mosquitoes,
etc., all killed by
KEATING'S
BRITZER
MADE
SERVICE TO READERS, THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, LTD and the HONG KONG WEEKLY PRESS, through their London Office, at 21, BAIDE LANE, FLEET STREET, E.C. 4, are pre- - pared to give Subscribers and Visitors advice regarding accom- modation available, motoring faci ities, suitable shopping centres,
"It, when at home, they will call · For" telephone to the above address.
they will receive the utmost assist. ance and the latest available infor- mation on all subjects of enquiry. will be pissed at their disposal..
No comments yet.
Private notes are available after approval.