HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
I saw a young man trying to kiss your daughter," said the mis- chief-maker.
"And did he ?" asked her mother, "No."
Then it wasn't my daughter,"
Prospective Tenant: This apartment, like the others yoz showed me, is too small. Not room enough to awing a cat."
Agent: "Ah! Then why not find some other "amusement **
I have already asked you five times for the money you owe me." But how many times did I have to ask you before you lent it to me?"
.
Teacher: Parse the sentence: "Tom married Jane."
Boy: "Tom's noun beenuse he's the name of something; marri ed's a conjunction because it joins Tom to Jane; and Jane's'a 'verb because she governs the noun.”
..
He was taking her for a trip down the Thames. As they circled round the lightship which helps to guard the mouth of the river, she became excited.
"Where are Tom" she asked.
142 going now,
We're going, round the Nore." said Tom, as he pointed to the lightship.
**Oh, really, Tom!" she replied. in unbounded surprise. I've heard of him. And is that his
Willie, Auntie May has a new baby, so daddy is the baby's uncleark?" and mummie is his aunt-and you will be his little cousin! Isn't that nice?'
4
Professor Einstein's secretary Willie: It's all been arranged to the meaning of relativity" was so burdened with inquiries as very quickly."
What words have caused more trouble than any others in our lan. guage shouted the lecturer.
Charge it," spoke up a timid male voice in the rear.
"Good morning, Mrs. Betts. Oh, I say. I saw Mrs. Budd this morn- ing and she told me the very same news I asked you not to repeat to anyone, because I promised Mrs. Sprig I would not tall."
But Mrs. Budd promised me she wouldn't tell I'd told her."
Jones looked goldly at his friend Brown.
A short time ago I thought you never meant anything you said, Brown; but lately I have changed my mind."
Oh! And what caused you to. alter your opinion 1" asked Brown.
"You remember bortowing five pounds to me?"
"Yes. **
יו
You said that if I lent it to you, you would be indebted to me for ever."
"Yes."
LIS wer
that the professor decided to help her out. He told her to these inquiries as follows: "Ban you sit with a pice girl for two hours, you think it's only a minute, but when you sit on a hot stove for a minute, you think it's two hours. That's relativity."
Two men travelling in the same carriage had become friendly..
Have a cigar " said one.. "Don't think I'll take one," said the other.
"Have a cigarette. then ?"
. thank you!" "How about a pipe? the first persisted in desperation.
Don't use tobacon ath11:""" "Goodness! What on earth do you do with your mouth "
"
Just. Overheard: "She believes that the best possible stepping stone to matrimony is a diamond."
Doctor: Will you prepare your husband for the worst?
Wife: Oh, doctor will he die
Doctor: No, but I must forbid "Well, you are keeping your him beer."
Nora:
"Can Fou
keep secret!"
Dora: Can 14 Why, my pre sent bay was engaged to me three weeks before he knew it." A
word like a Dian.”
Office Buy: "There's a salesman outside with a mustache."
BONS: "Tell him I've got a mus- tache,"
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
ཝཱ
7:
3
4 5 6
17
18
ย 10-
12
13
14
35
#16
17
19
19
120
21
22 23 24
25
125
27 28 29
131
132
33
1341
35
36
37
38
39
140
42
45 46
48
49 50 51
52 53
57
58
59
61
62
1.-Likely.
4.-Apart.
Horizontal.
9.-Domestic animal. 12.-Meadow.
13. To equip again.
14. To inspire respect. 15.-Sterile
17.-Right of going in. 19.-To "comfort. 21.-Exclamation.
22. To cease. 95.-Possessive pronoun. 27-Grain.
31-Inclosure.
39.-Able political leader. 34,---Article.
to be.""
35.-Hawaiian dish, 36.--Part p! 37.-Objective of "L" 38.-Turning around. 41.-A Simian. 42. To agitate." 43.-Conclusion, 44.-Heavenly body. 45.-Part of.infinitive. 47-Rack of neck." 40. To be sorry for. 33.-Oarsmen.
57-A bird.
58.-British upper house. 30-Turn to right.
01.-Former Algerian ruler.
82.-Bread-making substance. 43.-Poem.
Vertical. 1-Pricat's white vestment.
9.-Hmall vegetable.
3.-Black substance.
4.-Extent
6.-Easily affected,
6.Supposing that."
'7-Mold,
ASicilian, vols VANSACT
8.-Automobile.
10-To be in debt.
11.-Small.
16. Corded cloth
SA 55
15. The ones there. -Greek letter.
92. Boxes.
93.-Article of faith. 24.-Upoa.
20-Models for comparison. 28.-Part of "to be." 20.-City in Floride.
30.-To Broff,
32. The sun.
33.-Unit of energy.
35-Turkish government.
30.-Six.
40.-Hotel
41.By.
44.-To. stitch,"
46,--Sole.
48. To mail.
49.-Pole,
80.-Sheep. 31.-Fold. 52.-Digit. 54.-Self. 65.-A colour.
38.-To observe. 59.--Symbol for radium.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
00.1404
201302 PANEZA IBERIA AR2349 GLI9TRE 19 IRE ZZANA ARE BGO TOIG
LIES SNARED STILLS
CAR
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, FRIDAY, JULY 19, 1929.
SNAPSHOTS OF A MAN GETTING TO WORK IN HOT WEATHER-By GLUTAS WILLIAMS
ARRIVES AT OFFICE ON BUSTERING HOT DAY
MUTTERS WELL. HES GOT TO SET TO WORK.
MOPS BROW
BUTAS WILLIAMS
HONG KONG’S BROADCASTING.
EFFECTIVE FOR FIFTY MILES.
TAKES OFF COAT AND SITS AT DESK WONDERING WHAT TO BESİN ON
GETS UP TO LOOK AT THERMOMETER,
IMPROVED PROGRAMMES TO BE CONSIDERED,
the
READS TEMPERATURE REPORTS TO SEE IF ANY OTHER CITIES WERE HOTTER YESTERDAY
BETS A DRINK OF WATER, WALKS TO WINDOW, SITS DOWN AT DESK AND GETS UP FOR AN
OTHER DRINK
(Copyrigùe, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
A MOTOR LORRY
AMOK.
DRIVER CHARGED WITH MÁNSLAUGHTER.
NATHAN ROAD. FATALITY,
ENGAGES IN LISTLESS ARGUMENT AS TO WHETHER THE HOT SPELL LAST, YEAR, WAS HOTTER THAN THIS
SIGHS HE MUST GET 1D WORK AND OPENS A LETTER. SUS "FANNING HIMSELF
WITH IT
"EXCESS BAGGAGE."
THANK YOU, MR. HAINES!
LOVE BEHIND THE SCENES."
(UX OUR FILM CRITIC
There are, happily a good many things about im plays more in- teresting than their stories, especi A young Chinese was' before Mr.aly to those who go regularly to "Excess Bag-
T. S. Whyte Smith at Kowloon the cinema" theatre.
say and is indeed a shameless re-
At yesterday's meeting of Legislative Council the Hon. Mr. | Magistracy yesterday on a man-age." while it has nothing new to W. E. L. Shenton asked:
slaughter charge following a motor hash of two earlier tims, manages Will the Government inform this car accident in Nathan Road on to open up some interesting specu-]
Fations. Council
July 3, în which a Chinese pedes. trian was killed.
(a) As to what steps are being taken to establish an effective broadcasting system in this Colony 1 (b) What will be the effective
range of such system when the Government's contemplat ed scheme is completed? (e) When is it, anticipated that such scheme will be in full operation 1
Quality to be Improved.
Mr. L. R. Andrewes was for the Crown and Mr. H. J. Armstrong for the defendant. Mr. M. K. Lo also held a watching brief in the
cuse.
Mr. Andrewes said that the accident occurred at about 3.20 p.m. on July 3 when defendant was driving a Ford six-wheeler rotor The Colonial Secretary (the Hon. lorry, the scene of the accident be- Mr. W. T. Southern, C.M.G.), said: |
The answer to the Horourable ing the junction of Nathan Road Member's questions depends upon and Waterloo Road. Evidence the meaning which he attaches to would be given to the effecs that the word effective." The present broadcasting system is effective for after the lorry struck the deceased about 50 miles and the studio is it carried him about two or three being furnished out of a vote of yards and then passed over him 85,000 authorised on the 21st March, last for equipment. The furnishing, coming to a halt about eight yards when completed, should improve the further on. Another lorry was in quality, though not the strength, of front and there was a conflict of the emission,
.
I have said a good many hard things about William Haines, who plays the hero, in this column; but yesterday I had the unexpected felt he might have been if his pleasure of meeting the lad I bave parents had remembered Seloman's warning about the rod, Hoa a now director used it to good effect, cr was Haines drilled to play the perfect cad in earlier pictures
icardo Cortez, an older and more experienced actor thua Haines, plays a smaller role in Excess Baggage," and at once the true standing of the younger man is called into question. He certainy holds his own but one suspects
star.
that this is due to Mr. Cortez'e more than to the unselfishness, parts they pay, A director cannot rôle outshining the always prevent an actor in a minor Roy d'Arcy is said to attempt to do so persistently, because, Ee says, it makes the leading players do their best in order not to be put in the shade, and so improves the general standard of the film. M. d'Aruy you see claims to work for art's sake and do not care how much odium he incurs in the process. with Cortez, the experienced and There might be another solution, polished actor, sardonically watch- ing the youngster blunder through hit the deceased who was on the story! At ad events it is pleasant his part-but that is part of the
The Government has approved the evidence as to whether it gave a appointment of a Commistes under signal that it was going to turn the Chairmanship of the Postmaster into Waterloo Road or whether it General to assist in the preparation of broadcasting programmes and motioned the defendant to pass. the provision of funds for improved The defendant's lorry was stated programmes will come up for con- to be going at an excessive speed sideration with the estimates of and charged across the road and
Cost of 400 Mile Hange.
1830.
If the Honourable Member bas pavement at the time.
in mind an effective range of 400 Dr. J. E. Dovey, said that he
miles it is estimated that the cost
3
WILLIAM
HAINES
in
EXCESS
BAGGAGE
of
A dripping. absorbing drama the theatre- Its joys, its sorrows, its compensa- tions and its bitter disap pointments!
AT THE
HIS
with
RICARDO CORTEZ
PRESENTING WILLIAM HAINES IN MOST REMARKABLE ROLE !
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
QUEEN'S
At 2.80, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
FASCINATING ] · THRILLING! TREMENDOUSI TOLSTOI's famous classic presented with emotional power rarely equalled!
RESURRECTION
with
DOLORES del RIO
AT THE
A TREMENDOUS picture of ruthless
Russia under the Cossack lash!
WORLD
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW
at 2.30, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.20.
A SURPRISE COMEDY
With a terrific" tornado for its smashing, tearing climax!
BUSTER KEATON
IN-
STEAMBOAT BILL, JR.
AT THE
with
ERNEST TORRENCE
STAR
TO-DAY at 5.30 & 9.20.
TO-MORROW, 230, 5.80 & 9.20.
KING AT SLAVE GIRL'S GRAVE.
TRIBUTE TO ROMANCE OF EIGHTY YEARS AGO.
to see, Haines pinying a nermal young lover in a way which wins him the sympathy of the audience. The story is that of couple of young married vaudeville actors, Eddie and Elsa Kane" (Willam Haines and Josephine Duna) working together. Eddie is ад scrobat and does a dangerque tight "What leade King Fuad to rope trick with Elsa as his part Muskau is the question that
of establishing a transmitting eta-examined the body of the deceased tion of adequate strength for that and found that six left ribs had radius would involve an expendi heen fractured. From the marks ture of over $200,000 for buildings and equipment alone. Thers would it appeared that deceased had been in addition be annual charges crushed between two objects. He extimated at not less than $80,000 did not think the wheel went over rear, exclusive of the cost of the programmes. The Government does the body, but that it had been ner, Elsa, who is a poor acrobat, Berlin has been asking ever since
ex-
not feel justified at the present time dragged along the ground. ... in embarking upon this large penditure.
LEGISLATIVE COUNCIL
gets an offer from. Val d'Errico, the it became know that the King of famous film star (Ricardo Cortez) Egypt; who is on a brief visit to An Eye-witness.
to go on the screen, and when she Germany, intends to go to Musksu, Q.M.S W. J. Chidgey, of the leaves her husband he fails because a little hamiet in the Lausitz dis- Somerset Light Infantry said that he has not the heart do his trick trict.
The king, it appears, is going to he was standing outside the Fresi without her. Elsa wins fame and dent Apartments waiting for a 'bust is Eddie who becomes in his Masksu to visit the grave of an turn "Excess Baggage," asher Egyptian slave girl of fascinating at about 3.10 p.m. on July 5. His
out of work husband Unable to beauty whom Prince Herman von attention was attracted by a small bes: the position and feeling that Puckler-Muskan brought back to lorry crossing Nathan Road from West to East At the same time he is a drag on his wife, Eddie Germany in 1840 after a visit to At sesterday's meeting of the he noticed another lorry coming determines to make an end, and Egypt. Legislative Council
King Fund' is said to have dis- Pollock drew the attention of the kok. It was then about 30 yards dangerous tura and give the public covered that Machuba-as the lovely
Sir Henry down Nathan Road towards Mong-accepts an engagement to do his meeting to the fact that some of from the first lorry. The driver A thrill which they will never
MEETINGS.
QUESTIONS OF NOTICE TO MEMBERS.
*
his unofficial colleagues received put on speed and turned so as to forget." As the last moment Elea slave was called-was, all unknown the first intimation of the holding get ahead of the lorry which was rushes onto the stage with her old to herself, a member of the same princely family to which King of the Council meeting when they then turning from West to East. ery of "I'm waiting for you," and Fuad himself belongs. A book by read it in the papers. He stated Having got clear of this lorry the Eddie slides down safely to love the prince describes how he one day that that was very unsatisfactory driver tried to get back on his and life, with Elsa's film career a chaneed on a slave market where. and was contrary to the procedure proper side but in doing so appar- thing of the past...
one of the girls put up for auction. The story is well told and there so impressed him that he fell in laid down in the standing order. ently lost control and he swung He expressed the hope that such into the side of the road. "His Doar always something going on. love with her on the spot, and de- procedure will not be repeated in front wheel hit the kerb and he saw "Excess Baggage" Se not a great termined to buy her. the future. If for any reason the a man hurled into the air. He film, hut one which is well worth necessary notice could not be given, appeared to land on the back of seeing. at least an indication could be given his neck or head and as he rolled te unofficial members that on such over on his back, the wheels of the dad such a day, the Council meet-lorry passed over him. Witness ing will be held..
could not say which wheel passed. The Hon. Colonial Secretary re over the body. tried to get "Strong Boy" will be shown on plied that it was due, he under somebody to help him do what he Sunday and Monday at the Queen's stood, to the fact that the Order could for deceased, but everyone with Victor McLaglen, in the title Emy love this boston flew
time to print. Of course, it wasscious but possibly not dead. Later whose shyness of women provides the wish of the Government to a Bikk constable arrived and took the foundation for the comedy. give as long, a matice as põssible to charge of the body.
Leatrice Joy plays opposite The hearing-was-adjourned. -MiLaglen
ONE ERVEERED
AME MORE SOLE
EDITED
NS XI T
-members.
"STRONG BOY" SUNDAY AT QUEEN'S.
His love for Machaba become the dominant passion of his life. Their happiness, however, was short-lived, for Machuba fell ill with consump tion four weeks after her arrival on the prince's estate at Muskau and died.
The prince was desolate and in many beautiful poems wrote down
graft
Fuad has read, and an irresistible desire has held him ever since to visit the grave of his kinawoman in far-away-Germany
OF
AD. A
THE AMUSING VENTURES RAILWAY LUGGAGE *PORTER I
VICTOR
McLAGLEN
STRONG BOX
TEATRICE JOY
REKENTED BY
WILLIAM
COMING TO THE
QUEEN'S
REFERE SUNDAY AND MONDAY
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