HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
The Browns lived at a cornuri house, and were constantly annoyed by people ringing the doorbell to ask where other people in the road lived.
At last the son of the house de- cided to put an end to this. nuisance.
"I don't think there will be any more trouble," he said, after spend- ing a whole morning working away under the porch.
Well, what have you done?" asked Mrs. Brown, who was very proud of her son, chiefly because he bore a striking resemblance to her- self.
Oh," returned the lad, blandly, "I just hang out a little sign I thought of the other day: Nobody lives bere 'cept us.'
Grocer to new.boy): "Did you ellect for the eggs you delivered to Mrs. Brown?”
"
No, sir. She wasn't home, so I tossed them in an open window."
"Why does that man next door "keep hainmgring on only four notes of the piano?"
He's very conscientious. So far He has made only one payment on
The shopper was on her way out after leaving her list of groceries to be delivered. Suddenly she turned and said coldly
Never mind the cranberies, Mr. Dugan, I see the 'cat is sleeping on them."
Whisht, mum: She won't mind me, waking ber up?"
She: "
page ??
May I see the fashion
|
Ship's Cook (to new helper): "Ever been on a ship before 7"
Helper: Sure, I was a gunner in the navy.”
Cook: Fine! Start right in and shell the peas.
Mrs. Lggins: "This 'ere fellow thinks.e can sing like Caruso."
Mrs. Iggins: "Well, they do say as 'ow Caruso 'nd a beautiful voice, but 'ow could they know with im stranded on that island with nobody but Friday to 'ear 'im?".
Haughty Girl: "Ne. I'm afraid our respective stations are too wide apart for me to consider your pro- posal.
Suitor: Oh, I don't mind that it all. It's only twopence on the Laderground between Hammers- mith and West Kensington."
Jock, on his honeymoon, bought
a sixpenny bar of chocolate. Care- fully breaking of a piece, he hand- ed the latter to his bride.
After, while, seeing that no more was forthcoming, Jean asked shyly if she might have another piece of chocolate.
Na, na, Jean." replied Jock, "that's for..the bairns."
Professor Zeitlin: "I call my 8 o'clock quiz the Pullman class be cause it has, three sleepers and an observation section."
Dean Cantor: "Very good. I enli my o'clock Virgil class the pony express."
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS. THURSDAY, JULY 18, 1929.
While walking by the canal, two Jews saw a notice-board which stat- ed that five shillings would be paid He: "I don't think you'd be into whoever rescued another man terested this is only to-day's first from drowning. It didn't take edition."
them more than a minute to arrange that one should fall in and he saved by the othery and the reward divid ed. In went Coher, who found it rather deeper than he had expected. However, he splashed about, cry- ing: Come on! Save me".
Name six wild animals found in "Africa."
Two lions, and four tigers."
Has the trolley car gone yet!" "No, not yet." "Must have gone. Can ser its tracks plain as anything."
A tramcar passenger tendered in payment of a penny fare two far- things and a halfpenny stamp.
The other hesitated. "Cohen," he said, "I've been re- uding that notice-board again, and it says, Ten shillings for a body.' Now, do be reasonable." "
Client: "But I warn you I can After some argument the conduc not pay for this suit for three tor accepted this unusual form of months. currency, and, turning to the next "Oh, that does not matter in the passenger, inquired with some bit. Icast." terness, An' what have you got 1 When will it be ready Jam jars!
"In about three months' time."
$15
19
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
4 15
15
[7]
18
20
23
27
33 34
18 b 2
47
BI
53
Horizontal.
1.-Despest.
7-Girl's name.
13-Angient name for Spain.
14.-Places for contests.
15.--Pronoun.
16-To shine.
18-Objective of "we."
10.-Anger.
21-South American mammai.
22-Part of "to be."
23-Chinese secret society.
25.-Self.
26.-Falsehoods,
27.-Trapped.
29.-Quiets.
31.-Vehicle,
39.A number.
03-Glib talk.
38. Changed direction.
39.On the sheltered side.
40.-Metal bearing rock. 49-Being alone.
43.--To-free,
44.-Laments.
46-Insect egg.
47.-Article.
48.-Filled with putes
50.-Prefix: down.
51.-Argument.
33.-Lifts up.
55.-Prepared for printing."
56. First born.
1-Restricts.
Vertical.
4.
2.-Character in Midsummer
Night's Dream,”.
3.--Pronoun,
-Unit of energy
--Part of window frame, 6-Having an appendage,
To what island was St. John Prexiled 4
Superfinial exÍCU 1.—Human beinga. 10-Half an em,
154
50
11. An evergreen shrub. -12.-To tax.
112
い
17. To sink in middle. 20.-Represented, as in a play. 92-Airplane'a auxiliary wing-tip. 24-Fireplace.
25,-Covers the inside.
28.-Before.. 30-A digit. 33.Procession, 34.-Placed in line. 33.-Firmly fixed. 38.Jary panel. 37-Skipa over. 33.-To hate.
41.-Ròdent.. 44.-Silent. 45.-Kind of für. 48.-To Stroke. 49.-Performed. 52-Prefix: Twice. 54.-Symbol for selenium.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION,
ACUTE 202288 TRETCH EK, 1020120 DE CIO BOLID. - 488
AYDDEYEBEB:
READ-STİRİE
POMP SAZERJ
AD SHEİLİL DUO DO ALIGNOU STOLID DE ONE JELPE
SNAPSHOTS OF A GIRL OPENING BIRTHDAY PRESENTS
FINDS HER BIRTHDAY GIFTS BESIDE HER PLACE AT BREAKFAST TABLE.
By GLUTAS WILLIAMS
(Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, las)
STARTS OPENING LITTLE ONE. S RENINDED SHE HASN'T READ THE CARD YET, IT'S FROM "., AUNT MABEL
FAMILY INSISTS › SHE REALLY MUST EAT SOME BREAKFAST. TAKES BITE, AND BOES ON OPENING PRESENTS
SPORT
RETURN OF RINKEL,
Form of a high standard' was shown in the Middlesex county athletic championships at Stam- ford Bridge, many famous athletes playing a prominent part. One of the outstanding features was the return to the track of J. W. J. Rinkel. He turned out for the 220 yards championship, and won it in 92 1-segs., though J. E London, who had previously retain- ed the 100 yards championship in even time, did not attempt the longer distance.
F. R. Gaby (Polytechnic H.) won the 120 yards. hurdles for the fifth time, and proved himself still to be the best hurdler in the county, and R. Leight-Wood again romped home in the quarter-mile champion ship, C. W. Hyde (Enfield A.C.) retained the two miles walking championship in "record time for the meeting-14mins. 29 4-3sece. The new champions included J. A. R. Sanders (Queen's Park H.). who gained a stylish win in the half-mile. F. O. Tilbury (Enfield A.C.), who won the one mile in mins 27 3-5secs.--the beat time yet recorded in this event-and Sam Ferris, who took the four miles in 20mins. 38 4-5seca.-another record for the meeting.
IMMEDIATELY DIVES FOR THE BIGGEST ONE AT BOTTOM OF PILE
DUTTALLY SPELLS OUT CARD, THOUGH NICHING TO OPEN PRES- ENT, FINISHES CARD WITH RELIEF AND OPENS PRESENT
FAMILY SUGGESTS SHED BETTER SAVE THAT, IT'S THE IMPORT PRESENT, OPEN THE LITTLE ONES FIRST
REACHES FOR ANOTHER AND IS RE- MINDED TO THANK AUNT MABEL, GRYS 'THANK YOU, AUNT MABEL! AND OPENS NEW PRESENT
OPENS LAST FEW WITH EYES ON BIS PACKAGE. COULD IT REALLY BE WHAT SHE HOPED FOR BUT DIDN'T EXPECT TO BET
AND
6E TO BIG PRESENT AT LIST, | STANDS UP. FINGERS TREMBLE A LITTLE. OH DEAR, MIS IN A KNOT. DADDY, YOUR KNIFE!
ATHLETICS.
RECORD BROKEN AFTER 77 YEARS.
of whose meinbers represent the The United Hospitals A.C., many
University owing to the fact that their Medical School is affiliated to the athletic union, held their an- nual sports meeting at Stamford Bridge. The men placed in the London team that won the IV.A.B. championships
ut
Birmingham
were, with only one exception, com- posed of medical students. G. R. C. Drute, who beat Jack London's record at the University aporta, was the cutstanding performer. Druce broke a 27-year-old record when he. 10in. J. F. E. Bloss, of St., won this event with a leap of Sft. Thomas's, won the hurdles in 18 saec., which equals the record established in 1870. W. Hertzog, the nephew of the South African Premier, who did so well at the Inter-'Varsity Athletic Board meet-f ing, won the putting the weight (38ft. 10 in.), the long jump (with a leap of 21ft. Sin.), and tied with Noble (London) in the hammer event. Hertzog's team, Guy's Hospital, retained the Challenge Cup, which they have held for the last three years.
2
JA SCOTTISH WELCOME HOME.
one
of
It will be interesting to note, in
whether Scottish enthusiasts "fall view of the financial success of the Britain-America match at Leeds, for the challenge match at Dal- maboy,
Edinburgh'a suburban greens. The match C. Whitcombe and T. H. Cotton (Eng- land v. T. J. Armour and R. Å, Cruikshank (Scots-Americas)-is & four-ball foursome, and so does not accord with the major Scottish sen- timent which continues to favour the old-fashioned" two-ball. Br who are the promoters of the match; rangement. However, the two Scots," are banking on a sentiment.
Both Armour and Cruikshank Edinburgh's played most of their early golf on famous municipal course the Braid Hills, and both left Scotland for America. Armour, were prominent amateurs cre they the elder of the two by a few years, was neither the 'Varsity män nor the major in the Tank Corps the American papers credit him with being. He was a clerk when the war broke out, joined a Territorial battalion, and was finally an in- structor in musketry, holding a commission. "Cruiky" went from the Edinburgh school, Stewart's College--where he was a champion sprinter and jumper-into a High- land regiment, and was a prisoner
of war for a year.
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
BABY TALK IS ¦
ATTRACTIVE.
BUT DON'T HAMPER YOUR CHILD'S SPEECH,
Too Precious,
FASHION NOTE.
It is a gross injustice to a child to hamper him in respect to his speech, as many people do. Delay- ed speech is usually traceable to the feeling on the part of the grown
The popularity of the little jacket people that that particular baby is to match the evening or afternoon just too precious to be brought frock and wear over, it, is threatened under the disciplining of life.
Correct speech learned early is by the little cape of chiffon or crêpe correct speech learned easily. It is de chine to match the gown, new a simple matter to teach a child to being shown in some of the famous speak correctly from the start, but Paris dress houses, and beginning to
correation of a defect is difficult and
requires a very great deal of tech- appear in the fashionable restaur- nical training, both in phonetics and ants and "dancings."
in the psychology of learning..
Sense of Humour,
Babies when they are learning to talk develop such inany words and distortions! They appeal to our own sense of humour. We all like new words, and a very apt one or a If you were suddenly put down reversal of sounds is likely to be in- in Russia or India without any corporated in our speech. Certain knowledge of the language or 'cus of these proper names, for instance toms, how much could you learn in-do little harm.. If Brother Jim Jour years?
becomes "Jojina no barm is dоnе. But proper names should be the only exception.
Well, quite a bit if you had to in order to get the things that you needed and wanted. But very little speech would suffice if some one who knew the language. followed you around and saw to your every want, especially if you cried a bit and kicked if they didn't manage quickly enough.
Mentis
DANNELS
Chicken Soup with Noodles Nut Loaf (Vegetarian) Asparagus Tips on Toast Cottage Cheese Salad
•Coffee
Cream of Pea Soup Lamb Chops French-fried Fotatoes
Green String Beans Whole Apple Salad with Nut Filling Wafera Coffee
Word Conscious, When a child does not say a given word correctly, some person should, say the word for him, and let him the word should not be divided into listen carefully and watch also. But
syllables, nor separate sounds. It is easy to put so much attention on a lace, always it is short and fastened That is the position in which the word that the child becomes word loosely around the shoulders, child finds himself. If he has, in- conscious. A stutter, will develop
Natural Development.
Sometimes the cape is made of
telligence and is normal physically, easily under nagging. If the sound When made of fowered georgette be will learn to talk when he needs does not correct itself with their chiffon it may be lined with a it. If bis speech is delayed, there-arousal of pride and interest, then plain colour of the same material, Tore, it is up to his parents and go for trained help.
when it is gathered into a straight nurse to see that he is made con- The parent who realises the im. length of the thin, stuff, which ties scious of his need of speech.
portance or goed, clear speech and with long ends.
This should be a simple and who is willing to learn something of Or the cape may be the shape natural develipment it the grown the laws governing its learning, can and size of a soubrette apron with people will only co-operate. If they do a great thing for his child and the strings brought to the front will not obey grunts or squeals or one for which the child will in later it may even have a frill around eries or pointing figures, if the child years be eternally grateful
it, like the housemaid's "best" Lis not waited an ge though he wieques patispe nad vatrejk bentar cand in the been pus were a prince, he will have to learn and self-control, but it is worth the cd of chiffon or some other trana to talk.
work.
parent material.
WILLIAM HAINES' MOST
REMARKABLE ROLE! An entirely new Haines appears on the screen in this tremendously kuman story of theatrical life!
with
WILLIAM
HAINES
in his latest and best
picture
EXCESS BAGGAGE
RICARDO CORTEZ, JOSEPHINE DUNN MADE BY THE MAN WHO DIRECTED “THE COVERED WAGON "
AT THE
QUEEN'S
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
At 2.80, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20,
ONE OF THE MOST ENTHRALLING ROMANCES
EVER WRITTEN !
TOLSTOI'S CLASSIC-
RESURRECTION
with
DOLORES del RIO
Tempest, fury, love, conflict and triumph in a vast drama of contrast in the Russia of Czarist days! AT THE
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
WORLD
at 2.80, 5,15, 7.15 & 9.20.
COMICAL GAGS GALORE
in a rollicking comedy with a smashing, tearing tornado for its climax!
BUSTER KEATON
IN
STEAMBOAT BILL, JR.
AT THE
with
ERNEST TORRENCE
STAR
TO-DAY to SATURDAY at 6.80 & 9.20. Matinee Saturday at 230.
DIRECTORY
OF
THE FAR EAST
1929
Classified List of Manufacturers
and Merchants in Japan,
China, Straits, Etc.
Hong Kong Daily Press Office.
4
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