HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.^
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, THURSDAY, JULY 11, 1929.
SCRUB
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
GLINAS
CARL LAEMMLE
Two men had invited two girls! to play foursome at golf. Smith was good-looking but no player, Brown was an ugly little fellow who best the ball a good furlong every time.
On the t there was some dis cussion concerning partnerships and finally it was agreed to toss
un.
Oh, in that rase," said one of the girls, artlessly. I might as well take Mr. Brown right away, I never have any luck nt tossing.
Lady (to new housemaid engaged by Potter): "Why didn't ya tol: nie, when you wrote Answering my questions fully, that you were Scotch, Mary
Mary: didan like to be Kasting, mam,"
He had ever been outside Eng hand, and neither had she, but both were recounting their experiences
abroad.
And AE! Ah! Wonder Bul
|
The flames shot upwards: the smoke curied in clouds around the dooned building.
Suddenly young woman rushed up to our of the tiremen
Oh," she cried, save it for
met Save i
She pointed to a second-foer window, and without a word the hrean rushed to do, her bidding.
**How old was it?" asked one of the bystanders,
Only a month" sobiel the wo mil And ok as the figure of the fireman could be seen emaing down the ladder again. He has failed: He's coming bark Without it! Oh, what shall I do!
The fireman approached. For soury," he said, maid lind to child."
"but. I
"Child?" cried the woman. "I aid nothing about a child!"
her.
Then what was it?" they asked
blad. F'd only had it
I was my h-b-licyele!" she month on the hire system, too!"
Asia Never shall forget Turkey, Little Willie was present at din- India. Japan All of them. Ander when the local parson was in- best of all, China, the celestial kingdom How I loved it!"
She held her ground.
And the pagodas-did you see them,"
Did I see them ? She powdered he nose. My dear, I had dinner with them."
The Hying field was crowded at the finish of the air care, and great was the astonishment when the win ning plane descended and out of it stepped an unknown amateur, The Presentatives of the press surged forward.
Wonderful achievement the "You've shouted, Spokesman
nken all records for nonstop Hight. How did you do it
Well, to tell you the truth," the rink outsider answered, modestly, I didn't find out until about five minutes ago how to stop the thing."
Bride: My husband promised or a surprise if I learnt to cook,
I took Jess025, " Friend: How thrilling. What was the surprise 1"
Bridge:
dismissed crust."
2
He
our
vid
All wen wel wat dinner was alust to start and the parson bent his head reverently over his plate. Everybody was quiet, when a little voice piped out
fresh.
It's all right-the meat's quite
An unpopular raferee was sent Lo a big soccer match. On his ar- rival in the pavilion he nodded to the manager of the home club and drawled, esther
Well, is everything in
"Oh," "yes," said that official elitely: "that is-gr-excepting
Liat you may care to leave the name at your next-of-kin with the secretary."
}
"
SHAVING A CATCH WITH SOME OF THE GANS WHEN SUDDENLY THE CRY OF SORVB GOES UP
AFTER VIOLENT ARGO- MENT AGREES TO LET BUDDY BE THREE', BE CAUSE BUDDY OWNS THE ONLY BAT
SPORT
+
JOINS IN AT TOP VOICE WITH 'SCRUS THREE'
SAYS LETS 60 HES' THREE
SAYS ALL RIGHT HE'LL BE "FOUR, AT WHICH CLAMOR BREAKS OUT ANEW BECAUSE SHORTY CARR SAY'S HE'S FOUR
WOMEN AND BOWLS.
The question whether shall or shall not play bowls with
women
"What we want is a candidate and against men has again beef who isn't too radical or yet too raised by the committee of a bowl conservative: in short, a middle-of-ing club in writing to the Edmonton the-road man.
Urban District Council refusing to play their annual match against the Council if the latter include women in their team. This is a fixture of long standing, and has
Then Jimpkins is the man" to nominate. He's been a bus driver for years,"
"That tenor's voice" "was too powerful for such a small hall." -
Yes, even though half of the au-always been followed by a supper. dience left to make room for it."
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
16
20
19
10 14
[25 126 127
23
30
102
157
41
42
46
བལ་
144
150
Vertical.
1.-A number.
2-A tree:
3.-Apartment.
1.-Deficiency of blood.
158
[52 153
156
23. Address of respect.
-Archaic: "begone."
25, Greek letter.
3-One who begins quarrel 3-Jutting rocks,
5.-Extending in different dirce 34-Organ of bead.
tions.
G.-Cools.
-Poëtic for always
9. Everyone.
',
10-Turn to the right,
8. --Abraham's birthplace.
11.-Simpleton.
17.-Cranky.
19.-Like.
20.-Mineral.
21.-A saint.
29. To make up for.
24.-Stopping.
5.-Egyptian goddess.
28.-Letters.
27.-Woody planta.
20. Parts of circumference.
31. Slang for pistol.
33.-Sand-bar.
.37-Part of body.
38.-Stages.
42-Plural of you. 45To twirl."
46. A garment.
47. To recede.
48. By way of.
49.-Hostelry,
30-Wing-like part. 32-Part of "to be.”. 53.-To obtain.
56.-By,
1.-Away,
Horizontal.
4. Good-by."
9.In the past.
12-Nothing
13-Coloquial: pleasanter. 14.--Meadow.
15.-Age.
16-Always..
denoting-pitch 18.-Domesticntes.
0.-Conjunction.
Father.
35.-Location.
36-Charmed.
30,--To observe.
40-Vacation place.
41.-To, declare.
43-Steamship (init.) 44.-Part of
to be."
45.--Pens. 47-Morally wrong", 50.-Egyptian sacred bull. 31.To fall behind: 5-1-Storage box. 33.To.place in a row. 36. Wrath.
37.-To prohibit, 55.-Penetrating tastes. 69. To fondle.
It took 23 minutes to solve this puzzle. See how long it will take
you.
* YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
JAK
COTTO
ទេ
80
BTO 200 PALI DOOILE REARED
IXEY
TR SPICES. AB2IVE
HUG MUARY 8 BIR
PETARD LARD
This year's chairman of the Coun cil is a woman, who is also al bowler. Last year some members
of each side refused to play because for the first time women were in
cluded in the Council tenm, but this time the club's action is official, for all but one of the club's committee signed the letter to the Council. The bowlers apparently wish to stand on their dignity, for after last year's game they were subjected to some chaff for playing against women. They have been asked to withdraw their letter and allow the game to proceed, but they decline to do so. There is a certain amisant of irony in the position, for the club plays on greens contrailed by the Council. Some irritation has been caused by the attitude of chib officials, especially among the women members of the Council, who total one-third of that body.
ARGUMENT BECOMES. GENERAL NOW, SEVERAL OTHER DISPUTES OVER POSTIONS HAVING
ARISEN
(Copyright, 1929, by The Rell Syndicate, Inc)
BUDDY BEMIS WANTS TO KNOW HOW HE GETS THAT
WAY, HE HOLLERED "THREE' LONG BEFORE
HE DID
FINALLY AGREE TO PLAY SIDES INSTEAD. GET THE SIDES CHOSEN JUST AS IT'S TIME TO 60 IN FOR SUPPER-
645
AND ATHLETICS.
WHERE CAMBRIDGE SWIMS
It will be a surprise to many bridge University gives a half- people to know that although Cam blu for swimming it does hot
THE MASTER GOLFER.
Those who watched Walter Hagen for the fourth time will know that win the British open championship they saw the master golfer of the When Hagen frat came to age.
possess a swimming bath, and as the Britain it WAS said that
be town is in the same wahappy posi- but a man who could produge a borrow the Legs School bath for was a showmann, not a great golfer.tion the undergraduates have to spectacular shot to extricate him self from difficulties. He has since taught British goliers that this power of recovery is simply a re flection of the mental attitude of held not because he was the best the champion. Hagen won at Muir
shot player in that fold but because his mental equipment is iden för a game in which temperament plays such a big part.
both practice and rantches until the weather gets warm enough for the sheds to be used, and even then visiting teams who are accustomed to doing all their swimming in a Grants. At Cambridge all the dif bath do not appreciate the River
ferent sporting clubs are under separate management, but any people think the American system
The
of one governing body and the pool- The Americans win, they haveing of funds is a better one. proved, because they work hard at only really wealthy club at Cam- the game, and the British players bridge is the Rugby club, which is are only just heginning to realise generous in the way of loans, but it that professional golf means real cannot be expected to a more hard work. They have taught as under the present system,
example that lonely practice with one club which refuses to be mastered is the only thing to inspire But Diegel really lost the cham- the confidence which will bring pionship on the putting greens. His
peculiar crouch was adopted be irtory British players are now be scel on the practice ground enus" he could not putt well. Ee playing shots before they go out. admits that he always has been a It is possible, however,--to carry bad pútter, and he has tried every who had a fine chance of winning it. On one occasion he putted & practice play too far. Leo Diegel, thing and every style to improve the championship, proved that, round of a championship in America When he had finished his record using only one hand because be round he went out immediately and heard that Harold Hilton once did practised with his iron clubs. but the same when he went off his he was never quite satisfied with putting. Diegel said that this them even after hours of work, and method answered well, for a time. the practice only served further to but the old loss of confidence came
back just as it did in the "open shake his confidence.
recently,
(Continued on next Column).
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
NEW IDEAS FOR MARRIAGE | LAWS..
"The Pagans of North Borneo," by Owen Rutter (Hatchinson, 30s.). A husband, on divorcing his wife at will, must pay her sagit (compensation) of one buffalo, and if he marries again his new wife must pay one yearling buffalo as angit to her predecessor."
That is the native law in certain parts of Borneo. What, one won- ders, would be the effect on the husband-snatchers of England if it
were enforced there?
In North Borneo married women had the right of holding property und equal rights of divorce with men centuries before women Great Britain obtained them."
Moral Code.
of
CLEANING CHINA.
1
China is simple to wash, but if by the word wash" is implied the removal of every stain, spot,
PRESENTS
NORMAN
LEWIS
KERRY STONE
in
The FOREIGN LEGION
JUNE MARLOWE
from the story "The
Red Mirage
With MARY NOLAN.
6. A. R.
by
SOLDIERS-The daredevils of the Legion-in the most realistic presentation of their life on the burning desert ever screened!
STRIFE-Between Father and Son- and two strangely mated
sisters!
PASSION-The mad passion of the flesh-the sublime passion of a
pure lovea conflict forever going on!
THIS WEEK IS UNIVERSAL WEEK
AT
HE
QUEEN'S
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
At 2.30, 5.10. 7.15 & 9.20.
-HELEN HUNT JACKSON'S FAMOUS LOVE CLASSIC!.
RAMONA
Unusual "drama told against the stirring background of early, untamed California in the days of the Spanish Dons!
with
DOLORES DEL RIO
AT THE
WORLD
*AT
THE
TO-DAY TO SATURDAY
at 230, 8.16, 7.16 & 9.20."
RAPID-FIRE ROMANCE OF THE UNDERWORLD!
WILLIAM FOX Presents
SQUARE CROOKS
with JOHNNY MACK BROWN, DOROTHY DWAN.
(SHOWING FOR THE FIRST TIME IN HONG KONGY
TO-DAY & TO-MORROW at 5.30 & 9.20.
SATURDAY at 2.30, 5.30 & 9.20.
STAR
CINEMA NEWS.
"THE FOREIGN LEGIOS "
TO-DAY.
Lewis!
With Norman Kerry Stone, Mary Nolan and June Mar- lowe in The Foreign Legion,"
patrons of the Queen's Theatre
written
In North Borneo offences against and smirch, without in any way the law of hospitality are punish-marring the beauty of the china, able. "The pagans consider the the process is not quite so easy. needs of the raising traveller and allow him to satisfy his appetite"]
Ten dishes or fine china should will be assured of a well-acted with fruit and fish... and in most districts he is entitled to claim be washed in moderately warm drama of war and love in the a night's lodging without fear of water with a soft dishcloth, care desert. refusal." We have also it seems, being taken to pay special atten- The action alternates maibly 'be-l something to learn from their moral tion to the handles and any fluted tween London and the Algerian Similarly, would our English girls code.
The Pagans of North Borneo "Parts of cups and jugs. Next the desert and the story was break their engagements lightly if
articles should be rinsed in clean, by 1. A. R. Wylie, the well-known they were forced, as are the young, will rank among the standard works warm water, and dried carefully novelist, under the book name of
on this country. With the advance with a fine, cloth. women of Borneo; to pay their re
The Red Mirage." It is, therefore, of ccted lover "twice the value of any of civilization. old customs betrothal token, and one fowl in dying out. addition" (that is, twice the cost utmost importance that they should of the engagement ring and a bit be recorded.
This could not have been done over) i I doubt it.
better than by Mr. Rutter, who has a wide personal knowledge of these people and a fine and sympathetic understanding of them.
By an Expert.
These speculations, among others, are roused by Owen Rutter's "The Pagans of North Borneo," a serious book, a knowledgeable.book, and an exciting book.
succession of
are
When china in disfigured in this
*
#
TO-DAY'S WIRELESS
PROGRAMME.
"THE SINCERE COMPANY
TO BE RELAYED.
1.48. p.m.-Weather repurt. 5.30 to 6.30 p.m.-Programme of Chinese music. (Records supplied The Sincere Co., Ltd.).
7.49 p.m.-Evening weather re- port.
8 p.m.-Evening programme of Chinese relayed from the Roof Garden of The Sincere Co., Ltd. Programme consist of music given by well-known girlsingers and the staff of Sincere Co. Radio Depart
"SQUARE CROOKS" AT THE ment.
STAR.
10.30 p.m.-Close down,
It is a great mistake to use wash- ing soda in the water, as it is almost certain to ruin the colour
The above programme will be and gilt on the china. But if the
broadcast to-day from the Govern water is very hard, it may Square Crooks," described as a ment Broadcasting Station Z.B.W. softened by means of a little pow-comedy drama of the under-world, on 250 metres... dered borax..
be
17
In the case of dinner dishes, how
good supply of hot. soapy water
It is written by an expert for way, the spots may sometimes a experts. It is little more than a removed by rubbing them, with a
by putting the in order that every trace of grease facts concerning little grense or native laws and customs, methods affected china in a cool oven after may be removed. Wipe the dishes of headhunting, arts and crafts, re- the fire has died down, allowing well on both sides, rinse in cleans ligion, and folklore. But the out-it to remain there for at least hot water, and dry with a linen sider who is keen to know something; twelve hours. But when the mildew towel. of the life of a primitive people will is very obstinate, try treating it find it profoundly interesting. with the following mixture:
Europeans are too often inclined Take equal quantities of coarse
If china is to be stored away for
will be screened from to-day to Saturday at the Star Theatre. The
story is about two former criminals,
both of whom are trying to reform..
It
is iro fault of theirs that a dying TELL friend steals a diamond necklace
and begs them, to dispose of it and 1 send the proceeds to his wife and family..
Suspicion falls on the men, e they have been discharged a day before the robbery. Complications set in" when the jewels again bra
to confuse pagans" with "say salt, soft soap, and starch, and a long time, every precaution must stolen by another crook. The man- BG, Al. Mr. Rytter's blend them into atif, paste with: be taken to guard against damp-ner in which the mystery is naravel- chapter on Pagan indicates a little lemon juice Apply the Townhome design was wind fares the Big and emosiegel- that native principles of justice are, mixture to the affected part and liable to become spotted with comedy drama. in certain respects, well in advance leave for about four-hours en Continued on Previous Column.) Dwan are the leading players."
mildew.
Johnny Mack Brown and Dorothy
of-our-owa,
wash off with warm, soapy water.
THE SHROFF
to make out a Chit for -$7.50. and, send it with Four Home Address te 11, Ice House Street, In return, we will send you the Weekly Press tor Six Months.
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