HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN,
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, MONDAY, JULY 8, 1929..
SNAPSHOTS OF A BABY SQUARING HIMSELF
לאדש
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
Almost every man can find werk, if he uses his brains." asserted one who had travelled a good deal
He wishing guest, good-night in country cottagei: By the way, that ceiling is loose. If it comes down during the night, don't bother to clean it up: I get a man op
that is, if he has the ability to adapt himself. like the piano-tuner I once met in the West of America.it in the morning."
"Why." I said to him, for we were in a wild, unsettled country. surely plano-tuning, can't be very lucrative here! I shouldn't in- agine that pianos were very plenti- ful in this region.'
"No, they're not," said the pinno-tuner, but I make a presty
© Here is an 'equestrian statue of Jeanne d'Arc" -
And is the horse made of the same material!"
Pretty Girl (in art gallery); "!
fair incorrs by tightening up barb-believe you have a very beautiful
ed wire fencest
Fond Mother: My son has many original ideas, hasn't he:"
Teacher: Yes, especially in
spelling."
"I hear you ran out of gasoline once on the trip."
"Yes, sir and I give you, my word, we were more than a block and a half away from the nearest 6lling station."
She: Did you see in the papers that some people were poisoned through eating chocolates?
He fancy I did, but what about it?"
"Nothing except that 1 was thinking-how sale we
are
Dr. Lewis, an old-time Welsh divine, composed a sixpenny pam phlet on How Sin Came Into the World." A friend of his, who was Known to be somewhat heterodox in his theology, advised Lewis to add a chapter telling how to get sin out of the world; he could thus make it
a shilling pamphlet-and it would be well worth the additional six-
Be
Harem Lady: Is it true that murdered your last four wives 1"
י:
Soltan:
Now they were just vivains of a practical"rhoker."
To says he has both a trade and a profession. Whirl does he follow
Whenever his money gives out he goes back to his trade."
130
24
|
Constable here??*
Now Attendant: "Dunno, miss unless it's 'Erbert ere ain't bad. looking
How is Viola Vacuum gutting Along in the talking-pictures
Oh, all right, I guess. She has A double for four-syllable words,"
Angr ferrite struggles. the schody finished his examination asper. Then, at the end, he wrote:
Iwaar Mr. Examiner.-If you sell any of my answers to the, pa- pers. Fexpert you to hand me half the prits
ره
"The sailor was on short leave and happy because he was with his giri. But his joy was dimmed Ivents she would not let him kiss her in the street.
Then he saw a man kiss his wife farewell at King's Cross. He rush-
his girl towards a crowd hurry. ing to eath the Edinburgh express and bade her a fond farewell, Wher the crowd thinned they join- den throng at the Skengess train and repeated the-net." They kissed again before the Peterborough train.
This was too much for a porter who had been watching. He step- ped up to the sailor.
"Look her"," hesaid, "why don't you go down those steps and try the Underground The trains leave there nearly every minute."
Manager: What's the idea of sitting out there absolutely silent for five minutes
Saxophonist: That was re- quest number."
CROSSWORD PUZZLE.
16
9
$
(-
17 [13
119
121
22
EX
38139
40
142
45
50
SI
52.53
Vertical.
1-A card game.
2-Not in
2.---Bruils.
A-Entertainer.
5.-Consumed.
G.Pronoun.
7.-Plant of water lily family.
s.In music, syncopation.
9.-Aloft
10-American buffalo.
11. Chimney carbon.
18. To lubricate.
18.-Part of " to be."
21.-Record of events. 22.-Confict
23. Not many.
24.- Custom.
25.-Head covering.
20.-Humorist. 2.-False hair.
23.-A number. 31.-Dude.
32. To annoy.
33.-Storage box.. 34.-Conclusion.
35.-Coquettish.. 37-Specimen.. 39.-Mop. 30.-Detested.
32
23.-Filled.
པ་ཐ་
EVERY BABY KNOWS
"THAT NO MATTER HOW
FUSSY HE IS
AND NO MATTER IF HE CRIES FOR HIS TOYS.
AND IS IN SHORT, GEN- ERALLY DISAGREEABLE
Don't miss this great comedy of a shop-girl who entertained her relatives in a laxarious mansion -and who went to jail to get married!.
Its a
scream
LAURA
LA PLANTE
The screen's great
comedienne
in
AND THROWS THEM ON THE FLOOR WHEN HOTHER GIVES THEM TO HIM
AS SOON AS HE SEES THAT MOTHER HAS REACHED THE UMIT OF HER PATIENCE
AND REFUSES TO DRINK
HIS MILK
HE CAN, IN A JIFFY, MAKE EVERYTHING AURIGHT
AGAIN
(Copyright 1929. by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
PICTURES AND
The Wild Farty," starring Miss Bow. is from a story by Warner
of Fabian, author Flaming was adapted to the Youth." It screen by E. Lloyd Sheldon. The leading masculine role is played by Fredric March, recently placed un- der contract by Paramount. Others in the supporting cast are Mar- celine Day. Shirley O'Hara, Jack Onkie, Jack Luden, and Jack Ray- mond.
BY JUST HOLDING OUT HIS ARMS TO HER AND TURNING ON HER FAVORITE SMILE
6-20
PLAYS.
Sh was hailed as "a new Melba' and a new Patti" and at her debut as Gilda in Rigoletto"- 10,000 people had to be turned away from the Metropolitan Opera House.
The enterprise of British aristo- eracy in adapting itself to changed conditions is beyond all praise. Consider the following advertise-
ment:--
Üne
of che most rigorous standards of feminine perfection ever established by a Halloywood casting director has been met by Adrienne Dore, nationally known beauty, who because of her loveli ness of face and figure has just been awarded one of the nicest screen parts of the year. Miss Dore will play Baba, dose friend of. Clara Bow in Miss Bow's picture for Paramount, The Wild Party,"
An English Countess, shortly which Dorothy Arzner is directing. Miss Dore, with Miss Bow, is the
visiting Hollywood for a limited ring leader of a group of eight girls
Surprise has been caused by the period is prepared to lecture or who call themselves the whoopse announcement of Miss Marion Tal-take Film Sters for Private Lessons girls" and who as college studentsley, a prima donna of the Metropo- in the pure accent essential for have their minds on every thing litan Opera House, that she intends Talkies.
What an opportunity! How other than booke. Miss Arzner to abandon her operatic career, buy
Hollywood a mid-Western farm, and settle eagerly.
ought specided in the Paramount casting
down with her father, mother, and respond! And yet--are there not offices that the schedule of measure-
dangers to he foreseen After all. ments be met as closely as possible sister., in selecting the eight girls. The !
Miss Talley made n spectacular film stars cannot always be playing studio found the ideal beauty index at the Metropolitan Opera English courtesses in talkies, and Miss Dore, who is the first selected.
there are a great many Accents in England-pure and otherwise. The measurements she met, and which ate an average of the ideal
The film star might have to play t Ziegfeld Follies girl, the ideal Wel-
Shropshire dairymaid or a Cooney lesley girl and Annette Kellerman,
cook, or a West Country farmer or reputed to have a "perfect" figure. are as follows:
Height Weighs
Nock
Chest noratul
Chest expanded "Waist
Hips
Thigh
48
Call Antle
95. -Possessive pronoun. 26-Ta desire.
27-A worin.
2. Part of "to be."
29.-Paddle..
30.-Fronoun. ',
31.-Suitable.
33.-To exist.
35.--Tooth of wheel.
36.-Metal bearing rock. 37.-Evil deed.
38.--Store.
40.--Chest.
4tPart of body.
42.--Road.
43.-Moistureless.
44.-Vigor...
40.--By 48.-Neck piece.
47.-Drew strength from 30-Creek B.
32-A beverage.
34.-Song.
63.-Domestic animal.
36.-To kill. 57.-Before.
It took 22 minutes to solve this puzzle. See how long it will take
40.-Natives of Asiatic country. you.
41.-Part of body.
43. To perform.
44.To change.
46.-Sack.
47-Body of water. 48.-Organ of head. 49.-To change color. 51. Toward. 53-Spanish articles.
Horizontal.
1.-Ship's diary.
4.Tu Balute.
SATURDAY'S SOLUTION.
TE
ILL
8. To burnish.
RE
11.-Possessive pronoun.
IME
12-Man's name.
13-Egyptain sacred ball
15-Being at rest.
17-Child's game.
79.-Therefore.
EEPIN
meam blighted
21.--To buzz.”.
92. To court.
6 ft. 3 in. 119 hrs. 12.8 in. 33.1 in. 35.2 in. 20.2 in 21.8 in. 21.3 in.
13 in.
7.7 in.
House in 10286. at the age of twenty- one; and at once sprang into fame. She is said to have received £87,000 during her last tour for appearan- ces throughout the country. Miss Talley refuses to give her reasons for retiring at an age when most singers are only in the midst of vciee training.
Miss Talley began singing when she was only three, and at the age of thirteen she attracted the atten- tion of musical critics in Kansas City. It was by means of their activities that money was raised to send her to New York, where she sang before opera officials.
to
South Wales miaer, or an Oxford professor. Having acquired the
pure which is (as we all know) the special possession of un English countess, he or she might conceival ty "fall down" in any other character part...
Again, would the film stars take the accent on trust? There have been cultured Englishwomen who have been accused in America of speaking with anything but a pure, English accent."
THE WOMAN'S CORNER.
DANGER OF BEING rebel against authority. The ultra-
"OVER-MOTHERED."
"Old-Fashioned" Parents,
UNSHRINKABLE WOOL.
AT "HE
"HOME JAMES
IS
THIS WEEK UNIVERSAL WEEK
QUEEN'S
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
At 2.80, 5.10, 7.15 & 9.20.
WHEN Dane and Arthur, as two college boys, have a lot of squalling infants suddenly and amazingly wished on them, you'll laugh as never before as they face the music!!
KARL DANE, GEORGE K. ARTHUR
IN
BABY MINE
AT THE
WORLD
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY
at 2.80, 5.15, 7.15 & 9.20.
TIM MCCOY
The popular western hero" in another stirring drama of fearless adventure!
RIDERS DARK
OF
THE
(PREMIERE SHOWING IN HONG KONG)
FINAL SHOWINGS TO-DAY.
AT THE
STAR
'HOME JAMES.”
What makes wool shrink? The LAURA LA PLANTE COMEDY
rubbing. It
AT QUEEN'S. answer is just.. does not require boiling, it does not require soap and soda, but it does require rubbing.
Of course, the usual shrinkage is produced when rubbing in soap and
water.
[BY OCE FILM CRITIC.]
Laura La Plante has a quality,
At 5.30 & 9.20..
mosphere that Laura brings like a welome breath of fresh air into the ultra sophistication of Holly- wood.
Go and see Home James " by all means. "Don't expect a great picture, but give. a welcome to a very delightful little lady and borrow a lighter heart from her.
“The Foreign Legion,"
A screen version of I. A. E.
suggestible in later life became members of the Church of England. and hated to do anything that everybody else did not do. The rebels were sandala, sang the Red The danger of being over. Flag," were conscientious objectors, mothered" was stressed at the re- and anti-everything. It was equal cent proceedings of the Nationally infantile to be à rébel as it was Union of Students' conference by to be ultra-suggestible. One was as Dr. J. R. Rees, the Harley Street far away from the mid-line of truth specialist on psychology, who dealt as "the other. with the subject of personal re- lationships. The danger, he said,
But though it takes more
very distinct will be presented at the Queen's WDS enormous, and few people A stage that they all passed work, just as much shrinkage can which is not easy to define, but Wylie's novel, The Red Mirage"
in the galaxy of from Thursday to Saturday, under, realised how much difficulty in later through was the feeling that their be produced if the woollens are put which makes her a life was due to it. A boy who was parents were rather old-fashioned. into pure water and then well rub- Personality
are both secondary stars. This quality might the title of "The Foreign Legion" Soap and soda
Norman Kerry and Lewis Stone over-mothered was hopelessly tied They tended to throw over all the bed.
perhaps be called feminine boyish- Traditions up emotionally. Dr. Rees told of old traditions.
were alkaline, if the entire opposite-anness. Since the war there has are co-starred with Mary Nolan and a man of sixty-five who had a break only bad when they kept people acid solution-is used shrinkage can
been a boyish cult, heralded by June Marlowe. down through thinking of the fact from thinking. If they did question still be secured by rubbing.
short hair and short skirts, very The story is of a British Army that if he got married he would them and thought honestly, they
The finer and softer a wool the much curtailed manners, drinking officer who becomes infatuated with have to leave his mother, There would find themselves remarkably were people who went through life near to the old accepted ideas. On more likely it is to shrink. Do not and smoking. But Miss La Plante an unscrupulous woman and after wanting things done just exactly questions of political and social ay "This was cheap, and so ex-gesa somewhere very much nearer being cashiered he joins the Foreign as mother used to do them. It was conduct they should be making their pected it to shrink." But say the ideal of the pretty cheeky boy Legion, as a private under the com- This is expensive, and if it is not in the full flush of youth, because mand of his own father, who has When they always the best mothers who over- own" point of view.
she never sacrifices her feminity also had an unfortunate episode... Now to consider unshrinkable mothered their children. It made began to do that, how much more treated carefully it will shrink."
or over-emphasises it as does, for! The lady turns up in Algiers, and a man think he was a very special tolerant they became towards the
wool. person and must take care of him- older generation.
example, Sue Carrol, and she brings with her, her sister.
self.
to all her pictures a healthy cheery atmosphere which makes them in teresting, however, poor the story The present spectímén may be.
shrink.
"
Home James
SERVICE TO READERS.
By a simple chemical treatment The sex question, Dr. Rees said, can be altered so as to reduce Streasing the importance of early was a difficult one to handle be reactions to life, Dr. Rees declared cause it had been so badly mishand. its powers of shrinkage, or it can tha character was formed in the led in the past. Most of them had be made truly unshrinkable. Many
as threadbareE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, LTD., and the HONG first seven years. If they wanted been brought up on the dreadful people from bitter experience do
not believe this. But it is true.
a yarn as you could find; but na
KONG WEEKLY PRESS, through to understand later on, why they policy of Hush, hush," and sex
Properly processed wool can be
their London Office, at 23, BRIDE had certain difficulties in their per knowledge was come by through
Sex was the scaped and rubbed or even boiled long as the heroine is on the screen it does not pall. The trivial non-
LANE, FLEET STREET, E.Q. 4, are pres sonal relationships they would find doubtful channels,
pared to give Subscribers and. the clue back in those carly days. most important of all their in- in soapy water, and it will not sense, serves as a background for the play of expression on her face, The most difficult of all problems stincts. Every big thing they did
and it is wonderful what a variety Visitors advice regarding accom-: was man'e relationship to autho was done by virtue of their sexual
of expression she can give without modation available, motoring faci rity. He met authority early inity. Without it there could be no life and reacted to it in various love of work, of games, of God, and aer instincts. The whole object of ever touching real emotion. Sheities, suitable shopping centres,. ways. Some were good and did no creative activities. There was life was growth, and growth meant sums herself up completely in one what they were told, others went not a single thing about sex that adjustment. If they wanted real caption, "There are tears in your the opposite way. These types of everyone of them ought not to freedom it must always be linked eyes young woman, but there in reaction worked their way out in know. Their contact with the world up with a discipline which they monkey business in your heart." later life,
was based on the sort of under- must provide for themselves. They "Monkey business the absurd, ule were found froling use they made of their must be always ready to adjust inconsequent, and rather heartless panksink boyhood! That "the-at- either to be ultra-suggestible or to (Continued at font of neat culume) tescie
#1
etc.
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