HUMOUR: ANCIENT AND MODERN.
A very small boy was trying to lend a big St. Bernard up the road, Where are you going to take that dog, my little man" in quired a passer-by.
--I'm going to see where--; where he wants to go Grati
"was the breathless reply,
Press Agent: "How were the complimentary tickets I gave ya ?” Friend: Oh, very complimen tary indeed they not only flatter. ed my powers of vision. it my hearing as well."
"I hear you advertised for a wife. Any replica 7
"Yes Hundreds."
Good! What did they say 7" "Oh, they all said: You can have mine with pleasure.
Sambo had found a jgh for the week "on a railroad section" gang and was taking leave of bis family when his wife ene to the door and) shouted: Come back heah, San You hasn't cut a stick of wood fo de stove-and you'll be gone a week!!!
The negro turned and looked very much aggrieved. "Honey, he said in a tone of injured, innocence. whats de mattah You-all talks
Prospective Father-in-Law (hope- fully understand you have an interest in your father's business!
Not
the Algy (languidly): slightest."
At dinner she had a doctor on either hand, one of whom remark- ed that they were well served, since chey, had a duck between them.
Yes," she broke in, "and I am between two quacks." Then silence fell.
A coster and his bride were stand- ing at the altar waiting to be mar ried.
Wilt thou have this woman?" asked the parson.
"I'll," said the coster. "You must say I will,' corrected the parson and repeated the ques jotion.
THE HONG KONG DAILY PRESS, SATURDAY, JULY 6, 1929.
I'll said the coster again. The parson threatened to stop the service if the bridegrooin refused ¦ to respond in the proper manner. ut this was too much for the bride.
"Look "ere," She burst out, just stop your badgerin. You'll ave Bill sayin' 'No' in a moment if you keeps on at 'im.
you
Theodore Hook, the celebrated London wit, once su in a coffee
as though Ah was takin de ax withhouse gazing at a pompous indivi Dre."
41
The following is told of Winston Churchill when working at the Ad
dinal. The latter sent a waiter to ask if there was anything he could da for Mr. ̈Hook.
"I was just wondering," was the
miralty. An American journalistenial response, "If anything could
was granted an interview,
I've turned down seven at your compatriots this morning," exclain ed Winston, nodding toward a pile of visiting cards.
"I know. I'm them!" replied the. American,
"Where were you boys an hon ng when I called you to help me asked Farmer Brown, as the supper Lable.
I was in the barn setting a bro," said one. I was in the loft,
Pessing he as important as he looks,"
She had urged him to study the correspondence course, and he had just as the advertisements said.
At last his salary was raised £10 a month also just as the advertise- menta said.
he said.
Darling. I owe it all to you."
Well, denr," she returned don't worry about that. You i ut after pay day.
Which was just the point the ad-
setting a saw." answered upther.vertisements failed to mention.
I was in the bedroom seting a Block,
spoke up the third.
"And
I was in the pantry setting a trap." replied the fourth.
You're a fine set." remarked the farmer. And where were you?" he asked, turning to the youngest.
"I was on the doorstep setting". still!".
Your wife used to be very fond
of singing and playing the piano. Now we never hear her."
She hasn't much leisure no She's too busy with the children."
• Children are a comfort, aren't thes?"
CROSSWORD PUZZLE,
17
2
14 3
8 17
9 10
#
112
ร
14
18
19
22
24
726
29
30
#32
33
આ
135
37
38
39
140
44
45
ཙམ་པ
47
50
Vertical.
1-Kind of horse (plural). 2--Something worthy of record.
-Supposing that.
4.To dine.
3. To cease,
*
6. Metric weight,
1-Resinous substance.
8.-Above
A.-Pertaining to heroic verse.
10. Small depressions.
12.--Banner.
13. To glut.
16.-Story,
་
10 Windflower.
21.-Zenious advocate.
23.-Leg joints.
25.-Kinds
27. To consume.
28.-A digit,
30.-Entertains.
31.-Ship's cashier,
32. A gune.
33,-Howled.
34. To furnish meals for pay.
35.-Rounded roof.
27.-Noxious plante.
G
151
25.-Mineral springs.
26-To miss following suit. 98-Implement.
20-Miserly.
30.Jutting rock. 31.-Verse maker.
32.-Comely.
34.-Biscuits.
35.-Female deer. 36.-Not rapid.. 38.-Mineral... 30.-Arctic.
41.-Female sheep."
42.-While...
43.-Reduced in rank.
45.-French article.
46. To purity.
48.-Appeared.
50.-Apothecaries' weights. 51-Feats.
It took 90 minutes to solve this puzzle. See how long it will take
you.
1-
THE WORLD AT ITS WORST
By GLUYAS WILLIAMS
THE STOREROOM OF EVERY RECENTLY MARRIED COUPLE HOUSES A CERTAIN NUMBER OF DISCARDED WEDDING PRESENTS THAT HAVE TO BE HURRIEDLY PLACED ON DISPLAY
WHENEVER CALLERS ARE SIGHTED, TO MAKE SURE
THAT NOBODY'S FEELINGS ARE HURT
(Copyright, 1929, by The Bell Syndicate, Inc.)
THE NEW
GWYAS 6-21 WILLIAMS!
PHOTOMATON
STUDIO
38, Queen's Road Central
(opposite the Queen's Theatre)
IS NOW OPEN
SIX
PERFECT PORTRAITS
SIX DIFFERENT PICTURES
39.-Writes.
40.-Fastoral pipe.
43.-Lacking luster.
44.-River of Scotland
47.-Musical note.
49,-Pronoun.
Horizontal.
1.-Improper.
6.-Stuck.
11. To prove untrue.
13. Chilled.
14.-Part of to be.
16.-What Ottawa Indian chief
made war on the British?
17.-Within.
28Large serpent
21-Part of play. 22-To submerge. 24-Sick.
YESTERDAY'S SOLUTION.
30, 2393
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BAD
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FINISHED AND DELIVERED
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Joseph M. Schenck presents
JOHN BARRYMORE
IN
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with
CAMILLA HORN
A primitive Alpine daredevil wakens to find himself wed to a spit-fire mountain
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The denius of Barry" more shines with rare brilliance in this great drama of love and "fearless adven- ture 1.
ONE OF THE MOST UNUSUAL CLIMAXES
EVER FILMED!
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AT THE
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A thrilling comedy of
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