1929-05-04 — Page 1

Page

"ONORONG"

swang

Managing Direktor

MASON'S

DELICIOUS

O.K

SAUGE.

Hongkong Daily Press.

Registered as a Newspaper at the Generaly,

Post Office in the United Kingdom,

GAWAS HUME, ARTE, ALY MADE ANUL W

N.

LAZARUS.

Hong Kong'? Only European Cytał us {Ertalabed Over Forty Yaaru).

Manager: — BALPA® A., COOPER, KLAI

Boglatired Cytometrist, by Canadian

Govt. Exa (Pardona), Attuation).

ESTABLISHED 1857.

No. 22,038

HONG KONG, SATURDAY, MAY 4, 1929, 数捌拾捌零仟弍萬式第日伍廿月叁年巳己

陸拜禮

日月伍年九廿百九仟登英

UNDER THE

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Small

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(Incorporated under the Companies Ordinances of Hong Kong.) Patron's BUILDING.

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www

There was a young lady of Pisa, Whose lover attempted to squisa, But, she lost all her charm, When he said with alarm, "My goodness, how knobby your

knisa!"?

The Lad: "Why, as my best Really, there's no pleasing some in a conductor's life when he feels. people. The number of dinners. he would like to have a Tipperaryfriend, father, you ought to enter and such like I have been to, and rifle in his fist instead of that all an action for libel against the the times I have heard men grum-little wand of his, and give all blightëri !".

Yel Spoil hands a good lambasting. bling about the speeches. ing the chow! Now, when some there he sits, calmly beating 4/4, body carefully arranges a dinner2/3, 0/8, and all the other fra with no talking at all, these same tions, restraining and encouraging people growl about being done out and does anybody ever hand up a of an opportunity to listen to basket of flowers for the condue- speeches. I know my friend Bottle tor, or send him a nice cold bottle thwaite is not among the grumblers: of beer! The answer is in the He was very glad there were no negative, as the best people put it. speeches. For one thing, be knew there was no chance of speaking

The Telephone Company has been bimself, and for another he had very busy in the Colony of late, stme evening. Altering subscribers' apparatus in Bottlethwaite never misses a chance readiness for the automatic system to go dancing, especially when the affair is arranged by particularly coming into operation, I commend geais! and generous hosts, so it to the notice of my readers the Following helpful suggestions by sucted him very nicely to get away which they can get a concise idea from the dinner and go to the of what happening when they dance on board the Cumberland want to get a call through and ar some such name. So it's an ill wind that has no turning, and there's many a misde 'twixt muckle and lip.

date

that

---

cannot

(a). A prolonged and profound means that nobody

exce

you.

taking the lightest notice of (b) Merry laughter from afar means that the exchange staff is quite happy.

(-)

(d)

A sound like an electric drill on concrete doesn't mean anything much.

Repeated harking means either a pet dog or the line or s charade in progress" at the ex- change

"I'm trying all the time to get them" is just empty rhetoric.

knocks, bangs, Explosions, cracks, etc., menn trouble on the line,

"Every cigar a

man smokes," said the lecturer, shortens his life by three days. Every tigarette abortens his life two days."

There was a stir at the back of the hall.

"Are those statistics accurate?”' asked a voice.

Certainly. Why do you ques tion them?"

about three hundred years."

"Well, you see, I've been dead

--

With a despairing grin on his red visage the sergeant confronted the knock-kneed recruik.

You" he roared. Just then the captain passed and inquired. the reason of his subordi nate's wrath.

I've tried an' I've tried, yelled the sergeant, and I can't get him to looks smart. The top 'alf of is leg is standing to attention ao' the bottom alf is standin' at ease 1"-

The following telegrams" bare been intercepted:-

Marshal Fling-Lo to President Fling Hi:

No good ordering me to attack.

Am on the other side. General Ohow to General Ski- Hi;

Bottlethwaite has been very busy lately-going to what he calls the "uproar." I am not a very musical individual; my ability as an execut. ant is confined to musical chairs, and in the theory section I don't even know how many black notes there are on the keyboard of s double bassoon. Yet I too have been to the opera, and with Bottle thwaite, and should have thorough(e) ly enjoyed myself but for the wretched people who came in late, And others who gibbered (f) through the performance. Why is it. I wonder, that people cannot, or will not, be in their places be

George P. Bottlethwaite farcied Can't attack Wong as you mug- fore the curtain rises? If the time

gest, because he's for u. were advanced to 9.30 or 0.45 I duck for dinner on Thursday! He

Will attack Toyu instead, E1 am sure there would be. people was particularly careful to impe strolling in five or ten minutes upon the cook-boy that wild die Geral Ski-Hi to General Chow: Glad you can't attack Wong as later. And they haven't the de was taboo." To George's disgust,

I have gone over to him. cency to go to their places quietly his kaile slipped when he was

General Wong to General S when they do grace the proceedings carving the bird at dinner. Wiping with their distinguished presence, some fat and gravy out of his eye, Hi: I notice that most late-comers he bent lovingly over the duck to women as well as men-have big find out the cause of the catas- feet, and are amazingly awkward trophe. For ten minutes, he was in their movements. If there is busy probing out lead shot. anywhere or anything to stumble over, they do it, and cackle with Then ensued the following hectic pice as though it is a good joke to dialogue between George P. and make a disturbance which annoys the terrified cook-boy, more decent people.

《

.

-Q

G.P. What for belong this duck wild bird? What for you shoot These irritating creatures are in-duck and no buy from shoppee!

him duck!

G.P. Thea what belong these bullets 1

corrigible. They are always the C.B. Massa, ro belong thoot same A.D.C. shows, concerta, comedica, operas, any old thing- always late, and always quite un concerned about the comfort of other people. One evening at the opera I had the misfortune to sit

in front of two women who kept up a conversation for the whole even ing. Why didn't I move

away! Well, I just wanted to see whether they could stay the distance, and they did!

A

C.B. Bullets belong allee amee shot at my

G.P." Goo' Lord!

་་

If you are joining me, it may interest you to know that I am now fighting for General Chow

General Chow to General Bo:

Should like to fight for you.

Whose side are you on? General Bo to General Chow:

Heaven knows!

Heard on the beach at Repulse Bay the other evening:-

You are like a peach." The maiden hung her head. "I-I'd rather be a pair," the answered. "

The invitation cards are now out.

--

I bave purloined the following from the Editor's WP.B.:-

**Dear Sir,,

"End of September 1923 I dis

Bernard whe rather à bashfu over, but that we only because he stuttered and felt very self-covered here large and rich mines conscious about it.

of diamonds, one of this was cut by a Dutch diamond cutter in Sydney, weighing cut 1 carat, value £120, from the same diamond mines also derives hard boort for and snow. white industrial use, diamond shivers for Hong Kong jewellers cheap rings. No need to Frantically he tied to think of wear paste diamonds as people can something to say, but even then he get value for their money, as I am Low the world's provider in dia couldn't express himself.

"I-I-ay,, boney, h-h-how's monds. Please publish and oblige,

"Not-Yours truly, your mother?" be asked.

On evening, when he had called Before leaving this aabject, I on his sweetheart, who resides on want to offer a few words of praise the Peak, and mutely presented her to the little man who works harder with a box of chocolate, it sudden than anybody and gets the least ly dawned on him that neither of appreciation. I refer, of course, to them had spoken for the last fifteen the gentleman who just sits or a minutes, stool all evening and waves a stick in the air. That's all-but you try waving your arma in the air for three solid hours with only two intervals of ten minutes for medita tion and prayer, and see how you like it! And then the mental strain of trying to keep seventy people all in time and ture, "sooth- Father (after reading unsatisfac- tory school report): Everything ing unaisy ones, coaxing the crazy ones, lifting the lazy ones on wid bad, from conduct to chemistry. his stick "There must be moments What have you to say?"

THE

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[8

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Rembrandt

Rubens.

These fiotels are situated in the most žadrable poltinna raty of access from all parts of London Undar noe management and Kanty. recomendad・ they offer the maximum of karadona redaement combined with the latent hotal improvements at very reasonable rates. Bedrooms with Private Bathroom. All rooms are hosted and hare hot and cold running. wder, sta

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that I o-care a h-h-boot, but it Why do Editors let such good1HE HOTEL RIVIERA

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things slip?

www

This Week's Bright Thought:- Modern girls proclaim beauty from the hose tops.

Diary of Coming Events.

To-day. (May 4.)

Golf: Captain's Cup, Fanling. Opening of Kwangtung Central Bank H.K. Branch, 5, Chater Road.

Sacred Heart College Sports, Kowloon Football Club ground,

Doom.

Cheung Chau Government School Athletic Meeting, 11 á.m.

Military Athletic Meeting, Soo- kunpce, 3 p.m.

Tennis:-"A" Division: M.B.K. v. Hong Kong 0.0., Chinese R.C. 1) Craigengower, South China " Kowloon 0.0., Indian R.C. T Becreio. "B" Division: Kowloon 0.0.. Hong Kong 0.0., L.E. and B.S., Recreio, Nippon Club v. Y.M.C.A., University. M.B.K. "O" Division: R.A.0.C. v. Orai- gengower, Hong Kong C.C.. Be creio, Civil Service p. Chinee

Sunday. (May 5.)

their

'U

Rogation Sunday, Golf: Captain's Cup, Fanling. Queen's Theatre: Bringing up Father."

Lawn Bows:-First Division: .) Taikoo . Craigengower, Civil Ser- vice z. Kowloon CC., Police v. Kowloon Docks, Recreio r. Kow- Icon Bowling Green. Second Divi- rion: Craigengower Taikos,

Civil Service, World Theatre: "Service for Kowloon C.C... Kowloon Bowling Green . Recreio, Ladies," 5.15 and 9.15 p.m.; Chinese Hong Kong Electric Yacht Club Picture The Girl General" Part Queen's Theatre: "The River. I, 2.30 and 7.15 p.m.; and Chinese

Magicians at all bouses, Pirate."

Star Theatre: "Buttons." Italian Opera Co: "Gala Per formance," "Star Theatre, 15 p.m.

World Theatre: "Good Morning Judge."

"The

Street Star. Theatre: Angel at 2.30 and 6.30 p.m.

Italian Opera Co.: "Aida," Star Theatre, 9.15 p.m.

Tea Dances: HK. Hotel ind Peninsula Hotel, 4.30 p.m.

Dinner Dance: Peninsula Hotel, 5.30 p.m.

European Mails:-Inward: Europe vid Negapatam, papers (Russang). Outward: Europe vid Marseilles (Harana Maru), 9.30

a.m.

Monday. (May 6.) Accession of King George V. 1910. Shanghai Kaces.

China Light and Power Co., Ltd Extraordinary general meeting, St. George's Building, 'noon.

Sale of Crown Land, Kowloon Inland Lota Nos. 2185 and 2176, P.W.D. Offices, 3 p.m. Queen's Theatre: "

Bringing up Father."

MACAU

Cable Address —“ Riviera, Macau.*

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