1926-10-07 — Page 12

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TEL CESTRAL No. 133

SPECIAL NEWS.

10%

TILTS AT ABERDONIANS.

LIBELS OF THE NORTH OF THE TWEED.

A ̈COLLECTION OF JOKES,

A correspondent în a revent issue of [T.P.'i" and "Cassell's Weekly has the following humorous article dealing with ***

Aberdoniana'z

The generosity of Aberdeen in the mat tor of humorous-ngecdotes is proverbial, For deserves to be. Thus not long since

* THURSDAY, OCTOBER 7TH, 1926

A TRANSFORMATION IN GERMANY.

"HATS OFF TO FRANOR/",

EVEN LUDENDORFF SYMPATHETIC.

BERLIN

The leading Conservative paper, reuszeitung, publishes an article headed Balance of Power, with a pro-French and anti-British tendency. Whereas we in Germany have hitherto been of the opinion that it was mainly France who

3 Scotslah Ara published a little colloca averse to seeing Germany recuperate, on of them, compiled by a gentleman we are now made aware that our recupo- confessing to the name of Allan ration is at least equally anwelcome to Junior," and though not all the best England." stories of the Aberdonian are to be found there, a few of them demand inclusion in this very eclectic mlection Thera are two belonging to the variety in which a Jew makes his appearance.

Jew and Scot.

There is the story of the Jew who arrived in Aberdeen" to, start business. On getting out of the station he saw a carter feeding a hen with the leavings of his horse's breakfast. It was too much for Ikey. He took the next train home. While journeying down the coast he got into conversation with some stranger. "That steamers's frae Aberdeen," remarked the stranger, How do you know?" asked Ikey. There's a gulls following it," was the reply.

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2

The Kreusseitung argues that England has always tried to reserve her position as arbiter amongst the nations of Europe, and that she is how watching Franco-German reconciliation with grow.. ing distrust; that she is counteracting the German Orientation on the Con tinent "; that she is binding Poland to herself by financial help to the exclusion of Germany; and trying to neutralise German influence in Hungary. Feeling in France, continues the rescreitung, is not against an understanding with Germany, but if England succeeds in

driving a wedge between Berlin and Paris she will continue to be arbiter on the Rhine, and therefore in Europe." In support of its thesis the Kreuzreitung

Der Jungdeutsche, the organ of the powerful patriotic league Jungdeutscher Orden, quotes the Kreuzzeitung's article with approval, and demands that the problem of Franco German understand. ing be studied "with the highest serious-

And of course there wage two Aber-refers incidentally to an article by the donians and one Jaw attending what well-known foreign politician Augur " they understood to be a free lecture in in the Fortnightly Review, DISCOUNT London. During the course of the meet- ing a collection was announced. The Jew fainted, and the two Aberdonians carried him out. But something of the irony of late, the inevitability of destiny, hangs over the business partnership of a Jew and an Aberdoning."It was dissolved 'at the end of six months-they went blinda watching each other. And there was the Jew who borrowed halt a crown of Scot and died of lead-poisoning.

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MANCHURIA

SUMMER HOLIDAY

RESORTS

Tuppenca Under The Piste."

It is said that an Aberdonian in Londoa wrote home: I'm enjoying my holiday, especially the restaurants, whaur I often find, tuppence under the plate! P.S.-If there is no stamp on the envelope, it fell off in the post." But, of course, reputations can be torn to shreds by hearsay, and one ought to con- sider well before accepting even the re- port that when a film entitled The Foman Pays appeared in Aberdeen the attendances at the local cinema broke all records. Still, one can't help recalling that other story about the Aberdonian who was asked by a companion on the trom-ear, "I thocht ye kent that Tassie |

wait till she peys her fare.”

-Dess.**-

Thus the symptoms multiply and re- veal a remarkable phenomenon-namely, general taking off of bats to France amongst those who only a short, while ago exhausted the vocabulary of malice and hatred, who organised or applauded the assassinations of French officers in the and hotels, who rejoiced over the rise Kuhr, who boycotted Frenchmen in abope of Abdel Krim and mourned over his fall, who dreamt of the day when Ger- man armies would sweep across the Rhine and dictate a new peace in Paris, y

Even Ludendo:M.

The change has gone so far that even Ludendorff has been affected. In an article recently contributed to thu Deutsche Wochenschau he showed much fellow-feeling for the French in their financial troubles, which he thinks are reducing them to Germany's status of a Dawes Colony, Germany, ho maintains, has no reason to rejoice over France's

Germsa vnemployed, whom he calls the * Dawes Army.” He does not think the German people have awakened to realisa their situation yet, but believes they will same day. He makes kindly suggestion that perhaps they have not suffered enough or long enough","

RAILWAY tilt the front 159, 1 dae--but misfortunes. He is also sorry of the

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Fever Thocht of Paying."

13.

The national beverage has by the natural course of things found its way into anecdotes about the North Briton, There is, for example, among a great number of similar stories, that of the Klitie during the war who, having been entertained all the afternoon by an Aus tralian without making any effort to observed to put his hand in his pocket. push the boat out himself, was at last The Australian, slightly sarcastic, said, Oh, don't you think of paying just leave that to me I never hocht of paying; I was scratching me leg," ex claimed the indignant Scot.

Apropos of the assertion sometimes heard that cinema producers got the idea of slow motion pictures, from watching two Aberdónians waiting to see who is going-to-pay-for-the drinks, there is carious confirmatory evidence in the story of Jock and Sandy who pulled up out side an inn during their Sunday after noon walk After they had stood several minutes outside waiting for one of them rizmanto lead the way in, Bandy said: "Wee), Jock, are we going the bae a drop o rain soon, think yae1"

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His article is full of dark hints about the invisible powers that rule the world, by which he means Wall Street and Lom hard Street He, too, shares the growing which seems to be accompanying t hostility towards England and America changed attitude towards France

: the

All these emotions are getting a certain amount of encouragement from France, although somehow or other encourage-

ment seems to remain rather unsubstan-

tial. The German Nationalist press does not tire of pointing out that German visitors to Paris are much better treated than British or American visitors. Those Germans who are most desiduous in airing their French sympathies now are precisely those who used to preach hatred of France as a patriotis duty. The change is, of course, all to the good, for the evil of dangerous mass emotion seem to be vanishing from Germany. That the change should be accompanied by symp toms of Anglophobis is a pity, but the “D'ye No Smell A Bat↑ " symptoms are not acute. It would seem But, this slowness observed under car- to be rather like the slightly hostila dis- tain circumstances may possibly be mistrust of a hors with blinkers towards leading, for it has often been said that any large objects they exclude from its mental processes of the Aberdonian are direct line of vision.

naturally slow. Hence the legend that

they tell their childrenlfunny stories-in

their youth so as to make them happy after a few minutes the chemist banded in their old age. The point of the joke him the mixture. has time to dawn on them. Here, again,

"How much do you

appearances may be deceptive, and the want for that the customer asked, slowness may be no more than a mistrust pulling a handful of money out of his of speech. There was an Aberdonian pocket, That'll be two shillings and swain. who trusted to the sense of smell. tuppence, replied the chemist. Placing He had decided to propose. I was here twopence on the counter, the customer

out of sight before the old chemist had

on Monday nicht, wasn't I. Jeannie? bolted with the cough mixture, and was

Yewis that? And I was here again on Tuesday nicht!" #That's so weel!! remarked the latter philosophical- Jeannie replied. "And I was back again

» reached the door of his shop. “Ah,

on Wednesday nicht." "Yes, George", it canna be 5siped. I ha'e the bet

And this is Friday, and here I am ter o him by three ha pence." again. Oh, Jeannie, d'ye no smell a

Tat?

---" Financial Genius.

Canny Ladies."

A lady has appeared in only one of these anecdotes so far, and, then in a There is no denying the fort, however, ↑ secondary role In the following amende

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the stories from north of the Tweed, the ler's) U

financial interest is difficult to avoid. "It's a gold outside, an' it'll aye keep Even the Aberdonian who was ruined in bonnie-like yersel', Jeannie. It'll jist businem: (a rather big pill to swallow) | teed a dicht wi' a cloot whiles, an' then and decided to commit suicida is not it'll no turn yellow. exempt from slander. It is said that be Like masalene turn yellow--an” asked the chemist for four-pennyworth of need dicht wi' a cloot whilesi. Is that a Arsenic What for?" asked the chemist wey tae speak the a Iassie 1 à'll return suspiciously, noting the man's haggard yer praisn't the morn's mornin', Mr. look. For tuppence was the prompt McGregor-aifter I've let Jock Moopher- reply

teen sou see" But, of course, there was After that it seems only reasonable to also the boarding-house keeper. A tramp, introduce the chemist as the chief charab, weary with travelling the streets of Aber tor. He was a local worthy in Glas deen all day without any reward, at last gow. A man entered and naked to have climbed four flights of stairs in the a cough mixture made up. He refused boarding house to beg "fuppence for n a patent because of the fancy price.!! | bed."!" Bring the bed here and let ma

(Continued on nézt Column.) see it, she replied cautiously..

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