1924-03-15 — Page 8

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A MISSIONARY TO THE'

GOLFERS

An American golf club bas just issued challenge which humorists" in Great Britain will be only too eager, one fear, 'to`take up. For it has attached to itself a chaplain. Already" the opening move- meat has been played of that prolonged symphony of witticism 'to which, in the next few weeks, we shall surely be fat to listen. The reverend gentleman, we already fearn, will fulfil a useful and diffi- cult function if he succeeds in improving- the language of players who wrestle with the hazards of the seventh hole. Already. no doubt, comic artists are sharpening. their pencils preliminary to giving us sketches of apoplectic and inwardly blas- phemous hunglers nurmunting the malest of objurgations as they scatter the sand in sonic: bunker under the restraining eye of their spiritual adviser. For the goiter who swears over every stroke he misses has attained in the last decade the diguity of a place among our stock figures of fun. Like the ingenuous rustic. the exaggerating fisherman, the shrewish mother-in-law, the overdressed, overneur- ished, and underaspirated profiteer, the mreller in evening clothes who is return- ing, home after dining too well, and the very small child she talks like a bored main or woman of fashion, the explosive gnifer

is nbver long absent from our humorous papers At first one is tempted to declare that there is no truth to life at all in the creatures, and that they are, the refur, not in the least funny-for a good comic type invariably resembles some one made familer by actual experience. Golfers, one knows-in defiance of the humerists-go their rounds for the most part using language that they might air without regret in a drawing-room. If they are gonded, sometimes, beyond that polite limit, are not batsmen whose part- nery run them out, footballers who see their colleagues dropping simple pasms. and other sorely tried sportsmen sometimes equally to blame? Why should golf be made. a scapegoat among games? The answer to this ques

question, one is forced reluctantly to admit, to some extent justifies the humorists. Golf is indeed uniquely

exasperating; more than almost any other game it leads to the losing

-of In

dardised wit has, in fact, given a carica epite of exaggerations, stan.

ture of the truth. Are all those stock figures of fun n grotesque parodies with some reality about them 1. Perhaps they are, but repetition, at any rate, hus ceased to made them funny. Manchester 'Guardian,

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Flashes-

of the Past

That is Just What Gwi Pictures are; They bring the Past back to Life.

Take Pictures To-day; To- morrow; ad Everyday.

On a fine Sunday a big proportion of A. TACK & Co.,

Parisians go to the Bois de Boulogne, and sometimes one is accompanied by one's wife: thus ea February 3rd M. Rand and his spouse left their home to enjoy a few hours' radiant, sunshine in. Ambrosial surroundings. The debut was happy, and the couple walked lovingly arm-in-arm' to the motor-bus stopping place. Monsieur, ceding to the infinence of the intoxicating atmosphere, jumped rather jauntily, on the 'bus, assuming that Madame was following: but, to his amazement, discovered that she had re- mained behind. Descending as swiftly as he had ascended. he ran back and asked Madame why she had not jumped on. I prefer the Metro" (Tube), she replied. The iden that his wife should have a preference contrary to his own to infuriated this model husband that he administered a couple of sounding smacks" on the face, with resultant loud protests, which caused a policeman to come for ward. Monsieur indignantly demanded to know why anyone should interfere between man and wife, and became ve abusire that the custodian of the peace took him to the police station. There Monsieur unfolded his simple conjugäl philosophy. I am a staunch upholder of authority." he said, "and therefore I regret, having insulted the policeman but I ask the law to uphold the authority of the husband." Then madame gave the dumb-founded magistrate an exposi tion of the correct principles which rule her domestic life, too. It is all my fault, abe declared. "He was

quite

right in smacking we for wishing to go by Metro when he preferred the 'hus, it is the duty of a wife to follow her hus. pand." And she followed her proud lord' and master home, for what could the law do to improve the relations of such a perfect menage -Daily Telegraph.

THE TEMPERANCE LEAGUE,

EFFECT OF ALCOHOL ON THE HUMAN BODY.

Sir George Paish presided at a luncheon for business and profesional men given by the National Commercial Temperance League at Cannon-street Hotel on Janu ary 30th.

Mr. Arthurs Evans, surgeon to the Westminster Hospital, describing the effects. of alo

alcohol on the buman body, szid that to-day they had no scientific grounds for believing that alcohol could cure anything. It had been proved that the power of the blood

to fight disease was remarkably

diminished after the taking of even quantities of alcohol. He was not talk. ing about drunkards, but about the

Sple who took alcohol in small, quant-

The death rate from pustimonia among abstainers was 18 per cent, but anong un

intemperate Alcohol; if taken in large qu

people it was

Der cont ties, diminished bæmoglobin, and, if continued, led to anemia. It was all

bunkuri" say that alcohol enriched.. the blood and improved a man's vitality. (Cheers.) All known facts were against the use of alcohol from the medical and surgical point of view,*

The Chairman said that if they could bring about the abolition of the taking of alorbol in

this

country, the effect on the happiness, health, and well being of the people would be very great, and, they would be helped to solve problems that at present seemed insoluble.

Mr. Leif Junes, M.P., said that, from the temperance point of view, they had L better Hour of Common than they had had for a ling timer.

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