1921-07-12 — Page 6

NEVER NEGLECT

A WOUND

OR SORE

Promptly Apply Antiseptic Zam-Buk

& Keep Away Inflammation & Poisoning

Neglect of even the tiniest break is the skin haves the way open for dangerous and invisible germy to set up blood-poisoning and diseases. When that happens there is no limiting the consequencer.

The safest plan is to always keep a box of Zam-Buk handy and immediately tiress every ent, scratch or other skin injury with this antiseptic herbal balas. By this means healthy bealing is assured.

Zam-Rok'e nezasped steers in the healing of everyday injuries and wounds, the removal of irritating eruptions,

and the care of chronic skin diseases like rezeta, ringworm, ulcers and the poisoned" sores is due to the extraordinary medicinal power of the rich herbal essences, of which Zam-Bak is exclnsiyely com. paseci.

The

Magical Herbal Herbal

1

Healer.

Zam-Buk is so perfectly blended dad refined that the skin sbsorbs its healing juices at once and the immediate effect on the out. benise, burn or sure of any art is delightfully soothing. Pain and irritation disappear as by magiri

})

Zam-Buk is also endowed with powerfuljantiseptic and germicidal pro. perties which kill and exclude the germe which cause inflammation, blood poisoning, eczema and ulceration. Zam-Buk braling is completed by the actual growth of ney and healthy skin which obliterates all tripe of, disense we injury. Zam-Bak has been adopted universally as the purest, pälst and most reliable healer known to the civilized world.

by all shoginis mail mendiciae `repdorï in Shanghai, Bungkuig, and the'' Fur Bod. If you have ang difiedly ia shining, write The Zan-Buk My, Cu, Loodus Baglank, for address of avoient appel,

7am-Buk

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MR.-MOTORCYELIST ·

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975

THE SCHOOLBOY HUMORIST: SOME FRIVOLOUS STORIES BY

THE GLOOMY DEAN."

Those who have studied public school magazines, arités Dean Inge in a hone journal, will have been struck both by the excellence of the English verse composi tions, and by the heaviness of the sixth- form boy when he tries to be humorous. Ho gambols like a tarne elephant. But when the human boy does not wish to bu funny, he is sometimes inimitable. When I was a schoolmaster.. I made a collection of the unconscious bons mots of my pupils, and of others which my colleagues told me, and I have added to it siner from hen suy

*༔

Some of these stories may very likely have become "chestnuts"; others, I hope. will be new to my readers. It is a very frivolous subject, after the serious politi- cal and social problems which I have been discussing week by week: but I feel that I owe my readers a laugh,"

"COTIT VISIBLE AND INVISIBLE Theology is subject in which profane jesting is doubtless aut of place. But the schoolboy's blunders are too innocent to offeral anybody. It was an ordination candidate, not a schoolboy, who hoped to conciliate an orthodox bishop by writing down. I believe in all things. bath visible and invisible all that he could remember of the Nicene Creed. Another would-be pillar of the Church informed his examiners that the youthful Origen declawed his intention of going out to seek martyrdom. His father saved him be hiding his trousers." It was an Oxford undergraduate who, when asked, "in his ein eher, to say what he knew of Joab, replied "Joab wits a wash-pot."

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But the genuine schoolboy can do better. One of them wrote: "The Pharisees were in very mean and stingy lot. One'of them brought a penny to our Lord who, when he had looked at it. said. Whose sub-

cription is that?"

A young Etonian, whose papers I read, was asked, “What are the essentials of a Sacrament, accord- ing to the Church of England'? Show Basometer" that the other so-called Sacraments do not Temperature full the conditions. He wrote: The Eumidity essentials of a Sacrament are Faith and Wind Direction Repentance. Hence it follows.that matri-

Force mony.cannot in sacrament." He differ

Weather. ed, apparently from the boy who wrote:

sin Christians are only allowed our wife, This is called nonotony. We are all anxious to find our own opinions, in authoritative documents, and critics have. performed many acrobatic feats of inter- BOARD OF CONSERVANCY WORKS pretation with this obfeet. A few years Ago sorde of our bishops proposed to

retranslate" the Athanasian Creed, in War

"

"WER

a way which would remove all stumbling- blocks from the minds of the laity. The new version was to begin. "Whoever wishes to be spiritually healthy.

44 ON THE OTHER ALSO,' A still holder "retranslation hade by a small fourth-form pupil of mine at Eton, *If any man shall smite ther une the right cheek, amite him on the other alm. Thus the Sermon on the Blount was triumphantly brought to its complete harmony with schoolboy ethics. The boy who referred First the blade, then the car to St. Peter and Malchus was rather ingenious. An unkindaremark was once maile in an examination that

Some of the best fossils are found in. theological cabinets."

Highest open-air Temperature on 10th...86 Temaet noen-air Tamrareturn on 11th

OF EWANGTUNG. Lavalo IN ENOLLEN FRIT AT 10 AM-

Place of Observation.

Wuchow W.

"River Kongmoo W. River Linkonghow 3. hiver Samshui N, River Sheklung E Biver

1921.

W.L. W. L July July 10

Ft. F't.

*35.70

1470; -0.50°

+57.00!

+27.25 -5.00 +16.10.09

7.00 7.30

12.50

11.90.19.20

.6.12 5.25

u. W. OLIVECKONA,

Engineeron Chel

A whole class in

Thou didst here obedience, show; O make me obedient too." misted them, and what they actually said But the Cockney accent of the teacher

History, as told by the schoolboy, con.. tains sone surprising facts. The jales of Greece were always quarrelling about the birthplace of Homer Chaos has the day-School children often miss the edify. best right to claim him.". "Lather is famous for his Diet of Worms. A last 18 lessons contained in hymns by mis ite said, Heaven help me! Lena take no London were supposed to be repeating.

hearing the words. other course. The schoolboy is great on flat words," but some of his master- ploces, like the last words of Oliver Crom- well. If I had served my God," etc., are common property, Dr. Butler of Harrow, was: had a sentimental reverence for Charles L. Once he asked boy, with tears in his voice. And what were the words of the Royal martyr? (It will i rrenllected that the right answer was Remember, contains more than 100 per cent, of No one will dispute that if the air Juxon mysterious reaindr to the carbolic acid, it is very injurious to Bishop who attended him on the scaffold health." The Papal Court is doubtless and also that Charles II's last thoughts less busy than it used to be but were for Nell Gwyne: Don't let poor vacuum is a large empty space where the Nelly starve.") beboy put the two Pope lives" sounds like an exaggeration. tegether, and answered, Remember Juson; don't det poor Juxon starve."

ORIGINAL ENGLISH.

Thou didst here a pigeon, shows,

make me a pigeon too.""

WHOSE SZAT IS TENDER.

a

from sero

Wo turn to the French language. Prob. ably many boys have hit on the obvious Many years ago a little hook appeared cat twice as much on

derivation of dimanche: Because you

that day as called Very, Original Engish "it is

work-days

Hors de combat, probably forgotten by this time. The charger cheveux de frise," a shivering editar was an elementary schoolmaster, at cordon bleu.

a teetotaller." "n!! who called gems from the essays of his have their merits. But how sure the boy little pupils. We read in it how "Jacob must have felt that he was right when ho was a patriarch. who brought up his explained the proverb Le jeu ne vaut pas twelve sons to be patriarchs, but they did in chandelle, The Jew is not worth the not take to it. Jacob didn't eat much as scandal. This is what the French said a rule, except when there was a famine when they refused to set poor Captain in the land (Perverse old man!) An-Dreyfus out of prison." Truly pathetic other essay. with very original spelling, is the proverbial philosophy of the youth gives us some facts about The Cut, who, with poignant memories of a painful cat is a quadruped, the legs us usual being interview with the beadmaster, transated at the four cornits, Do not tease cats: Taht vient a point a qui sait attendre. for Bustly it is wrong 20 to de and Everything comes to point to him whose

ouilly kitty in cheses, which is seat is tender. longer than people thinks. Cats has nine lives, but which is seldom required in tion from, or composition in Latin and

Lany of the best jokes are in transta this country, cos of Christianity."

The Leneral Paper, that rather to be feared that only a minority of my Greek. But in these degenerate days it is absurd institution which in reality is readers would see the fun of them. The more easily crammed" than any other,boy who derived "sormon brings occasional mirth to the examiner, mones, "I warm too late, knew som

Ammonia is the food of the good thing of the world. Many schoolmasters Ipeace 15

♫ man who likes a good have laughed over the ingenious render- dinner." A demagogue is a vessel con- ing of "We thought her dying when she taining beer and other liquids. "Guerilla slept. And sleeping when she died." warfare was when men rode on gorrillas." Dormiens vingo moriens videtur," Ed Botan vice versa, though here the schoolmaster interval in music is the distance from one metre for the translation.

Anwas in fault for setting such an impossible It was of piano to the next.

course, a young lady pupil who translated The young man Adunguem factus homo Mathematics are not supposed to lend was brought to the scratch." themselves much to humour, but we must congratulate the youths who said, that

Dr. Hornby, of Eton, was fond of quot """geometry teaches us how to bisex ing a translation of Horace a Crescenter angels," and that" an angle is a triangle sequitur cura pecuniam, maiorumque with only two sides.” But perhaps the sitis. Increase of money is followed by best achievement in this subject was the care, and by a thirst for ancestors" answer to a question about the difference Burke's Peerage" and "Landed. Gen- botwood

Problems and Theorems in try," he said, amply confirmed this stafe Euclid. A Problem may be solved by ment. It is not often that no many merely human intelligence; but a Theorem howlers can be got into one line as by the (derived froin Thros. God and res, thing requires the Divine Psistance boy who translated Vis consili expers mole ruit sua. The unexpected waight Elementary science provides unlimited of the consul fell upon the soft pig". It opportunities for the unconscions jester is a pleasant picture, and worth a whip- Defective hearing is responsible for the definition of the equator as a menagerie

ping.

I wait in eagerness to see what certain tion running round the middle of the of your contemporaries, Mr. Editor, will globe. And here I may say that Sun- make of this new exhibition of my habi

(Continued at foot of next column,) tual melancholy.

Tho Test Act was passed to

Catholics out of

public-ho

PROBLEMA AND THEOREM.

WORTH, A WHIPPING

Let Cuticura Heal Your Skin

fa the treatment of all skin. troubles bathe freely with Cuti- cura Soap and hot water, dry gently, and apply Cuticura. Ointment to the affected parts. Do not fail to include the Cuticura Talcum in your toileti preparations.

Boyža/ZLIT16:24. Giatment In. 26, 2013), 66, Bad throughout the Emples, writion Depos : Mat

*Calleers Soup ihaviy without cong.

[23,19

Rheumatism

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[114

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