1961-11-25 — Page 6

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The Secrets

of

THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, NOVEMBER 25, 1961.

•BY THE

WAY

by Beachcomber

to

other

S there was ΠΟ plane 10

take holiday travellers the Italian Rivlera the day, the kindly airport officials sent them on a "mystery tour” of the Sussex Downɛ.

seat

This may start a fashion for Surprise or Mystery Holidays. Think of the exettement wher you have bought a

in a train to the Lake District, and find yourselves at East Sheen. Or again, "Aha-ha-ha," says the air hostess as seat-belts are un- buckled.

You thought you were going to Barcelona, didn't you? Not a hope! Think again. You're going Manchester."

Persian interlude

Ho

O str, we tell you of a

bomshelldrarsner

S yor Chur serudu was paypers say yolu new hup now down in the forts of the Otel Splendud when a wapter with drink stumbelld and noct the plonk of Ashura's belli. The plonk slanged and smoshed a shaun- derlea. Drinka spilded over otel kustuneers. Their was shoutz. and Karbulah and Rizamughan fell off onto a tabul and hupson 11. Orl wuz pandermahoniuans A url had hostieruks, and the miniger falled over Karbulah and bangd hts hed on a haris- sterket laydi: lapp. West viar vellous pooblisserių, for us three. lio yes, knot harf, as you Brottish say.

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that Miss Frozen

Minced Kipper "giamour" could go no further. Pie I see, however, that there is a

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-Landon Eraress Service).

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London Express Service.

Roderick Mann *

Continuing his trip round the world, a top columnist finds himself in Siam, land of magnificent temples, Buddhist monks, and graceful women, His report comes from Bangkok, the city the Siamese call "The Abode of the Angels.”

I go

in search

of the famed white elephant

MY introduction to Bangkok was certainly intriguing, and held promise of an interesting stay. It was dusk, and on the way in from the airport the cab driver eyed me cautiously in the mirror for a while before trying the old pitch.

"You like mee! Siamese girl?"

"No."

beautiful

"You like see blue Alm?”

"No."

"You like try heroin?"

"No"

"What you like then?"

"The Oriental Hotel."

the

The Siamese, incidentally, are curries which-judging by most touchy about the whole little girl figures of the Slam- story. They hold their young ese women-were happily non- King Phumipol and his beauti- fattening.

ful Queen Siriki in such Now I know better. And as esteem that they banned the I have only one stomach and ilm of the story The King it is not asbestos lined, I have and Ifrom Siam, holding since stayed away from Siamese that it was disrespectful to the food, king's ancestor.

White? If ever there was a Brand X elephant this was it, A pinky grey would be nearer ... the mark.

"Actually," the chief of the zoo explained, "a white elephant. te not really white. There'nte 14 characteristics which an elephant must possess to accepted as white, among them white eyelids, white nails, and a white upper palate. This one has all 14. But his skin, as you sec, is really pinkish grey."

BARTER

4;

Everywhere in Bangkok you see the saffron-robed, shaven- headed Buddhist monks. There are, I am told, 180,000 in Slam and more than 20,000 monastér-vata ies and temples.

Every morning al six the +0 monks are out and about with their begging bowls, collecting rice. One sect of Buddhists fs forbidden to handle money, and 0. should they wish to travel by → cab--which involves barter with our: the driver-they must enlist the services of a passer-by to do the bargaining for them.

Thousands of young Siamese

men go to the temples for a few ye months every year, abandoninganna all material pursuits and the company of women. MODA RA Until recently, in the Temple yo of the Reclining Buddha here, "You funny kind tourist."

It is, I suspect, the hoftast in this presented a problem." He shrugged his shoulders But I am told the king saw the world. And always lurking For there is a famous fertility and we sped on past the rice i privately and enjoyed the somewhere is a half-inch long statue in this temple, and at paddy fields and the canals music.

red chilli called prik kee noc night many a childless Siamese into Bangkok, the city the Add to the charm of Bangkok which is guaranteed to produce woman would come and lieg Siamese call "The Abode of the fact that the Siamese an explosion strictly in the naked on the statue, praying: former the Angels."

women are the most feminine megaton range.

the blessing of children. I had chosen to stay at the and lovely in the East, and you

found to be someo This was After naively biting on one Oriental, the old riverside will see why it is a place not of these, I screamed for iced thing of a strain on the monks hotel, because I remembered easily forgotten. Maugham water, but it did no good,

who were continually passing by," it was Somerset Maughorn's rated them the most beautiful Nothing, my hosts explained, so a grent floodlight has been

women in the world, and I laughing their fool heads

over off, placed

the statue to flluminate it at night and women It was here, on the soft lawn am not disposed to disagree. would cool me down

except leading down

to the swiftly There is, throughout the gargling with boiling hot water, now stay away. flowing Chao Phya River with whole country, an atmosphere As the temperature was already its sampans and bustling river of extreme friendliness-large in the high eighties, this was SO FIERCES CES traffic, that young Maugham ly due, I suspect, to the fact an appalling prospect. But I walked on his first trip to the that Siam is the only country in did it, and it helped. East years ago,

dreaming up South-East Asia never to have A young seiress was in our On my

I went The Moon and Sixpence. been a Western colony. Conse- party, a coffee-cream beauty to see Siamese boxing, and now quently there are no hangovers called Yayanart, and she was that I have I am going to find of hatred and suspicion. determined that I should suffer boxing to the Queensberry Rules

terribly tame

favourite stop.

TOUCHY

BATTLE

Bangkok is an Asian Venice, filled with magnificent temples rising above the canals like My introduction to Bangkok gaudy dreams. It also boasts a had suggested, a place where royal palace of such gilt and anything goes, and this is gingerbread magnificence that largely tree. But the autherl- it makes

more.

2 Buckingham Palace des are now engaged in look like a cement factory. Berce battle to stamp out dope

Here it was, of course, that amuggling and brothels, Anna Leonowens came to ve From Umne to. time and work as governess to King Rama, thus sparking the legend

of Anna and the King of Slash,

POCKET CARTOON by OSBERT LANCASTER

they

int night her

Slamere boxing is the fiercest thing you have ever seenfor. fists, feet, elbows, heels, and knees may all be used. The only thing

forbidden, it appeared to was throttling.

whole battle is accom-

generated is charged that two Åghts broke out in the

she said. when I was there audience.

a

The following day she was going up to Northern Biam, and suggested I should go with her

They eat really rare dishes there," she explained. “Wann monkey brains straight from the monkey. Quite delicious. I am sure you would enjoy them." panied by the staccato Beat of I told her I was equally sure I drums, and the atmosphere thus would not.

"The Chinese in the North also raid the cinemas showing also eat live mice," blue aims. The last time, I am "They believe it makes them

The match begins with told, they suprised about 50 virile and manly. Would you not ritual. The antagonists kneel, highly embarrassed American like that?"

touch the floor with their fore I told her if that was the price heads, and pay respects to their one had to pay, I would stay the instructors. They then proceed

I was. wreck

But 1 felt to kick the daylights out of each ungillant, I confess, for she was other for five rounds.

The opponents in the match dens were legal. Then Bang Siamese women, Yevanart told I saw were Jing Read Loogsara kok's 170 dens were closed me, have desirable qualities.

kam, described down and now oplupy-smoking

>. the morning," she

gramme as explained, "a Siamese wife will has gone underground,

a tough fighting machine jond Hangerous Police chiefe here tell me awaken first, go to the bath-te to the chose

chim the aludys they believe most of the world's room, prepare her husband's sends his opponents, happily done sarigeling operates out of bath, place toothpaste upon his dreamland as soon as possible

the oplum being smuggled toothbrush, and lay out his He was fighting - Kral

from Northern Burmila. shaying, equipment. She will

Smarchand, and of

tourists and their wives,

Heroin the deadly derivative

of opium-is the major prob lem

Until two years. ago opium a charmer.

either his opponent is carried

A special barcotle squad has then return to the bed and learned "once in the ray le been formed, and the Gover awaken her husband with sweet. ment is spending millions every words - and soothing caresses down or he is carried out*TO year on the treatment of dope upon the brow

ddlets. But or 18,000 treated Well, if you know a better list year only 2,000 stayed way to face the coming das cured. The rest went back on shall be glad to hear ho the dr

the s So Bedous the situation That the authorities......ara.--CON- | aldering | bringing in the death penalty for dope running But irst they have to catch their men, and it is not easy,

INNOCENT

LEGENDARY

In the Jungles of Slem where tiger rhino, leobard and mon keys abound, the greatest find is the legendary white elephant. To and a white elephant is cons eldered very luck for the

hospital

Well Jing Beed knew hiệ fistuff. za the third round he "kicked his opponent clefiil, out

o the ringi

And so, the night" over, We drove back to the hotel

(almost) our ingrow

bustle and

tánídanicus halin," the

and so

thieve