1961-10-07 — Page 12

BY THE WAY

By Beachcomber

Dear Sir,

Defeated in the space-race, we are nowe, apparently, до apathetic that we are not even to be first across the Channel) una tightrope. What is, the matter with our adventurous

youth? Or are we so poverty- atricken that we grudge the money for much on under- taking?

A. E. Mulholland-Gray.

Lit-tle Bo-Pest

"DAD-DY, why is

tt

at

#11

when-ev-er there is e-con-om-le cri-sis the põl-it-le- J-ans blaue us-Dic whole nat-l-on, who el-ce-ted them to gov-ern-but never blame them-scives? What-cv-er goes wrong in our faull, What-ev-er goes right is low-ly claim-ed by them as their ach-jeve-ment. Dad-dy, I bet you un iec-ercapi that as soon as the pre-sent eri- sisi ov-cr they will again vote themselves more pay."

"Hush, child.. You, talk much."

100

Waiter! The menu, pleasa Foul may be pirasant to the fuste, vet may lack health- ting ingredients. (An expert.)

ROILER veal, baitery S D factory bread, fossilised vegetables, synthetised butter. artificial in ilk, prefabricated cheese these are the tools that contain the galvones, the wthamyn, the glutase, the bur- boric zoshutes, the superhydrale F, the monoxylile dulclum and the hormetle sphagnas esser- tial for nutritional intake body-fuel.

In passing

"ONE should never," says

of

a

book of etiquette, "Kiss

a lady's hand, unless it can tr done gracefully. My favourite hand-kiss Ля In "Barchester Towers," when Mr Slope wook the Signora Neroni,

Her hand in his looked like

a rose lying among carrots, and

when he kissed it he looked as

a cow might do on finding such

a flower among her food,

1 knew a bounder who used to

kiss Indies hands, crying "Yum-Yum!" as he did so. Strike newM

THE basic cause of the strike of Internal brace-plug set- ters is the twenty-year-old argument to whether the act, brace-plugs, before being

hould be held by the adjusters

or by the setters.

-London Express Servier),

$110

for 20s

THE CHINA MAIL,

Jackys DIARY.

LAST Week i wuz Sick In Bed with the DOCTER. When all of A Suddin a Ambulents caME & BRUNG Me to the HOSPITAL,

ta

HOSPITAL

THE DR. Who WUZ GONNA ! OPERRATE ON ME WUZ

| SUPPOST TO BE A BIG

THROAT MAN.

WEE

ONLY I NEVER got To SEE it

ON ACCOUNT of

they stuck a

THING ON MY FACE & TOLD Me to BREEThE Deep,

Allof A Suddin diSAPPEERD

FROTH ON THE PINT

IS -- SLOWING DOWN AIDS TO FIREMEN

PRESS

》RESSURE beer is hitting export sales of firo-fighting.

equipment, Manufacturers have complained to the Board of Trade that exports are lagging because of the shortage of pressure cylinders for carbon dioxido gos used

in tackling fires.

They szid

SATURDAY, OCTOBER 7, 1961.

BY JACKY Mendel JoHN JE 342.

m

This is WHAT'S

A Hospital is a PLACE WHERE all the BEDS LAve got cranks in them.

KNOWN

25

SUDDIN

HOSPIT

ALITY,

(When i got back i wuz IN a SAMMY PRIVATE

ROOM, WHICH MEANS it was private EXSEPT for another Kip who i guess

WUZ SAMMY.

CUPPLE of DRS Looked in me & Said They WOULD HALF to TAKE OFF MY

TONSILLS,

HMMF

they got a WINDOW WHORE THEY SHOW whut PEEPLE GOT. OPPERATed ON FOR, & WUNDER WHICH ONE IS MY TONSILS?)

FRATERNITY WARD,

LOGA

1967,

King Features Syndicate, kx, World rights reserved.

-8-20

GOURLAY

Ideas When the artist's choice

that 100 "Our export hos bren many of the cylinders were hilt

because we cannot get

going to breweries and pubs to enough cylinders. My exports, push up the ale from the con- usually £2,500 a month, drop-

tainers.

ped last month to £79,"

Mr Walter Wilding, head of a Mr Robert Longworth, Manchester Are-ighting equip ment rm, sald:

managing director, Mowbray Engineers, Blackpool, said there "These pressure cylinders, was a big shortage of cylinders, re-fighting, are now being sent nose lie ordered last year, Jdentical with those used for and he was only now getling

to pubs all over the country.

Cool

--Lendon Express Service),

and soothing

to the throat and chest

CONSULATE

Menthet Fresh

FILTER TIPPED CIGARETTES

55¢

for 10s

MADE

IN

ENGLANO

BEST TOBACCOS » PORFECTED FILTER

THE ORIGINAL MENTHOL CIGARETTE CONSULATE MENTHOL ARE BETTER FOR YOU

1A2

is: Big Ben

or de Gaulle

PAINTER COHEN DECIDES.

TO CARRY ON WITH THE CLOCK

HIS NAME

[DOESN'T

WORRY HIM

MET an American

I visitor to London with

the bizarre and delightful name of Mr Turnipseed, Mr M. J. Turnipseed 'from Ókla- homa.

He disappointed me by telling me that he is n. mining engineer, But he revealed another unusual fact about his name. The ini- tials don't stand for anything.

"I got no first name.

ALFRED COHEN from Chicago has just turned down General de

Gaulle in favour of finishing off Big Ben. Let me explain first that INVITATION nr best-friends and, my wife

ΤΟ Α

Mr Cohen is a painter-not a professional assassin.

For the past 15 months he has been working on a series of canvases all devoted to the Thames around Westminster-the bridges, BALL. barges, and nearby buildings.

At the moment he is working feverishly from six am ill the light goes to complete the can- vases in line for an exhibition.

Recently he was interrupted by a telephone: call from Paris, where he worked and studied for over ten years.

The caller, AR ari dealer

4

"With a few exceptions like Sutherland the real painters are avoiding It because i most cases the subject-arid friends-don't want you to be honest,

collection of 'Thames-side sectes ever shown.

call me M.J. Guess it's pretty unusual.

"But," he added, "It never caused me any trouble or cm- barrassment," "His voice was not louded with conviction.

Q

MRS GLORIA LEWIS THIS Wook's sign in

the indefatigable Charing Cross-road tobac- His work has a Turneresque party-giver, invited me conist's shop window, tumilhoslly but + technique to a reception the other acting the changing moods "I think its specially bad in that is essentially modern.

of London: London. I'm amazed by the number of people who are wil the hell you'd call my style. Brummell Ball. Held Chemin de Fer. Baccarat.

He said: "I don't know what week to launch the Beau and tastes

"School for Croupier. wanted to know If Cohen would pounds for a portrait to phoney Expressionist, I suppose. Not this month in aid of the Sessions 9-11

drop everything to paint a specially-commissioned portrait of General de Gaulle,

Cohen said: "Why me?"

He was told that the portrait

ling to pay four or five hundred

abstract and not figurative.

painters. They're not Суст craftsmen. In fact some of them

on walls,

a.m., 3-5

English-Speaking Union, p.m." A line underneath in- are only at to paint dirty words manage to make a lying."

"Anyway, for the moment it will feature displays vites applications to an ad. Without employing 0 Press of everything a man dress in Devonshire-place. Cohen, who has lost any agent or stooping to White Hou act as a gift to the rasping Chicago brusqueness phancy around the studios, he should wear from dawn Adding in brackets Base-

House. Who better than he may have had after 10

has sold many of his paintings to dusk, staged by Lon- ment." Where else?

with aesthetic don's leading tailors and with a rising reputation in the years in mellowing Europe, to dlm people art world on both sides of the He is a gentle iconoclast. A

delivered his attack quietly, beats.

outfitters.

Hicable rebel with .more charm than choler.

& young American like himself

Atlantic?

Eager

The commission came from a group of French and Ameri- con industrialists in Paris plus one or two Ministers all ob-. viously ardently pro de Gaulle and all obviously eager to pro- mote his new friendship with President Kennedy,

At 41 he is one these men. who infuriate and attract — women by looking barely 39,

Clerk

His rebellion does not include

The fer would be 15,000 new dress. In dark suit, plain lle, franes or just over £1,000,

and soft white shirt he looks

they

Ann Field.

--[London Express Service).

QUOTE

Wrenn,

at

They include Anthony Quinn She asked met "Don't you (who also commissioned a bust); think it's a good idea? After Stanley Baker, producers Hal all London is still the fashion Chester and Carl Foreman, And centre for men. And it's all for

Include almost

Shirley charity!

"Weren't you voted the best-

Fleet Professor C, L. columnist In "Somebody brought her to the dressed

professor of Anglo-Saxon studio and the said she wanted street? You must be there."

didn't ask

dustrialist Michael Lewis, Apart the new English Bible: from being well dressed he /OLLOQUIAL current speech managing director of one of

is trivia), flat, and unstable London's most expensive tailor-

Which is and that is true inevitably of ing establishments.

much of this translation of the fortunate coincidence,

nible.

to buy a couple, my paintings, So musi her husband, In-Oxford University, speaking on

I

her. She said: Consider them gold. Will you get them framed?"

Framed

A CHANGE sends word through her FOR THE

"So I get them framed, then

Cohen, who went through a more like a benk clerk who s few minutes' painful deliberation sent all his stift collars to the Anally sald, meaning no offence laundry, to the general: "I'm too bury

He said: "In the past few glie with Big Ben and Old Father months, when I've been collect- ugent that Thames."

ing material for the exhibition. wistels

{'ve been mistaken for

He had other reasons, he explained to me.

"First I would have had to sleeplejack.

paint from photographs, No

"tva been swarming all over

she's changed her

mind. I know sho's a nice girl

cont-

from the Police Review:{ TODAY there are probably more gullible people than lever there were. In the

mercial rat race, thero, are big prizes to be won. The salesman poahing his wares on the door-

step and the big company with MAKE no apologies for Wigh-pressure sales and pabil

and all that, but, dammit, I won't SWISS

be planing up her autographed picture.'

sittings could be arranged. That's the place, climbing to the top Not o long ago producer

I

understandable just after the of the now buildings like the Ithodes and do some sketching to one of the smallest but the same way.

Foreman invited Cohen to viell drawing your attention or organisation operate in ranch

NOWS-by

bomb business, I suppose. But Shell one to get new perapee and paintings during production more fascinating It's impossible to do a good job tives. It's a fascinaling river.

retired railwayman Mir unless you have a chance to Can't think why more of your

of the eple Guns of Navarone," items of the week which Sidhey Morris, of Balen-road, really study the subject.

"Hut second, and more im- on it more."

own artists haven't concentrated Cohen went but did no work.

"I just wasn't in the mood. may have escaped your Cwmavo near Port Talbot, Glam, who has Just passed an portant, I've given up por-

They gave me the V.I.P. trent notice.

English examination of the age six-moria His fast London exhibition in ment and I enjoyed myself, but it was solemnly announced or 73 after taking a traiture for the moment. I've 1000 of gencral work brought they got nothing. In return, that Switzerland. done quite a bit in the past praise from the critles coming when I got back, so I guera Because

is to change corripondence course. Still I sont Foreman a paini- her national anthem, Why THOUGHT. ( was time to and certainly the de Gaulle pletely muster of his ent;

the old one was too

no 1 English, 10. one would have been in a dif- individual range of colour, etc. It's OK."

similar to "Und Bave ferent category. But. I've

We agreed i would bo Queen."

year-olds oan Pans, Exams, why gatten to

*Dut Finansured that the jahould't 17. I have always been

· 1 expect eulogies when bik inadvisable to send General de singe of new exhibition Opene

tula Gaulle one of the Cohen views change has been made without Interested in welling - mostly thinking that portraiture is month at the Kaplan Gallery, of Dig, Don. Or Waterloo any protest-official or unofficial in Welan, Ike prostitution.

It will probably be the largest Bridge.

from Buckingham Palace,

**London Express Service,

the

1