1961-07-08 — Page 9

THE CHINA : MAIL,

SATURDAY, JULY 8, 1961,

by ANGUS MCGILL

Mainly for Men

A gallery

of

awkward guests

THE

-WITH SUBTLE ADVICE ON

THE DEFENSIVE

STRATEGY.

All this will probably bore the HE problem is one

dear old thing sily. An Buon as that has defeated you kiss her check and leave, some of the best minds the will grab a cab and race to of our generation. What favorite Suho jazz club. But don't worry about that. You do you do with an aunt will have done the in the afternoon?

Any man who lives in Lontion knows about aunts. They will keep turning up for little visits, And when they come they need to be entertained.

You can't always send then to a matinee of My Fair Lady. and Julian Stode has nothing rinning at the moment. So what do you do with an ounts in the afternoon?

And not only muls. What do you do with any uut of town visitor in the afternoon" It is u subject large and grave entnagla for a Royal Commission, but, In the meantime, 1 have some sug- < nestions that may tide yanı over the next few weeks....

In

The aunt

suitable

thing. Honour will have been sutistled and she won't call on you again for a very long time.

Gorgeous blonde

from the office

case

This Is о

diferent altogether. The problem here Is to get away fruin it all. You can get remarkable feeling of privnicy in a rowing boat on the fake in Regent's Park and while you can't actually go on to the islatals the trees and shrubs overhanging the lake

can be friends, indeed,

if it rains I suggest you try the British Museum. In the sixth Egyptian Room you con be more or less alone for HOURS though oftendanis will keep wandering through to discourage you from filling suitcases with predynustle goodles,

Teenage niece

Take her for a gentle stroll in Kensington Gardens, smile at the Top People of Tomorrow as they glide by in their elderly urante, powered by aristocratic munales, tad to the shapellest statue of the young Queen Victoris in Landin, avert your Depend on il. beneath that eyes from the anatomical statues chaste gym tanie a fully fledged Wren's brunery. Didn't beatnik Is crying to get out, Wren know-about fgg leaves? She'll love the coffee bars in the Walk her slowly paá. Kensing- King's-road, Chelsea, and the ton Paltre where those dear cosmopoliten swiri of Earle young people have their home Court. and If you are lucky you might them in the courtyard beyond the wrought iron gates.

Recover frunt all this excite ment by sitting for a quiet hour In the time of deep gloom pro- vided by the arched hedge around the Italian Garden and norved at the discipline and rigid formality of the flower Leds, unreal as a Victorian needlework picture.

Or try her on that Mecca of teenagers, the Two Is in Old Compton-street. The basement (28. Gd, and coffee free) where young rock 'n rollers frenetically

discovery

night, seek doesn't open until 7.30.

every

But on the ground floor she will and the walls studded with pictures of her idols and the juke

Then to the breathtaking box never cools. hubbub of Derry and Toms as You will probably and it nulsy colourful and exotic, I sometimes and overcrowded and the kids think. on Eastern bazaar, a are so young they will make you It to the roof, and tea and but feel ninety. But coffee's cofee

in the Woodland and there tered scones

are worse Ways of Garden.

spending the time,

JOHN COLE TOOK THE PICTURES

Furthermore, having observed the wild life of Chelsea for some.' time, it is my considered opinion that some of these beat girls are strictly from coolsville, man.

The scourge

We all have them; can't under- stund how they go into our lives, but get they do. But if you know Loudon and he does not, all the ears are in your hands. You can give him the dullest afternoon of his life and emerge unscathed.

First meet him at Charing Cross and send him to Waterloo by a route which, you say, is not perhaps the most direct, but is certainly the most rewarding, A No. 9 bus to Liverpool-street, walk to Finsbury Circus and Oval. change to a 133 to The Change at Camberwell New

road to u No. 30 10 Victorin

where a 76 will eventually get

khm to Waterloo.

Meanwhile you go to a newa cinema, see the show round, and stroll across Hungerford Bridge to County Hall where you have arranged to meet him.

Ten take him to see the LCC at work. I don't advise a meet-, ing of the LCC itself because that

CAN bo moderately dramatis.

Coming out at last to meet you (you had another urgent appoint- ment) he will refuse another bus. Sa walk him buck across Hungerford Bridge (one of the

of London finest views

from

here, but with luck there mny be fog) and put him on a Circle Line Train to Victoria-but going in the wrong direction.

That way the four and a half minute journey will take

three-quarters of an hour and the afternoon will be over.

This is cruelly, perhaps, but don't weaken. You havé á legal and moral right to defend yourself.

(WHO ALSO POSED

FOR THE PICTURES)

Seven-year-old cousin

all day, even in London, so take hum to the Old Bailey for the afternoon,

There he must take put luck. It may be theft, wife-beating or rupe. Whatever it is, the drone of police witnesses will stil for welcome hour or so his end- less flow of wartime reminis cence.

American cousin

the first

He wants to see EVERY. THING and you probably haven't

idea where So book lain un anything Is. Undergraduate Tour. An all- culate young man from Oxford or Cambridge with his own car will take him round the sights for £3 and it might be an idea time you if you went, too. saw the Tower of London after all these years,

Remember that to him London represents more than Noblu Traditions and Romance Steeped in History. It also represents Sin. He has read all about the wickedness of our town and believes every word of it. So take the poor boy along to a girlie show. He won't have seen anything like Mimi, Fil, and Estelle in Boston.

Old Army chum him before he exhausts you. 1

Only really happy with a glass In his hand. But he can't drink

Here the problem is to exhaust

suggest the playground adjoin- ing the Festival Hall. While you nip in to be revived by an after- noon concert-or anyway a cup

of tea-he can have the time of his life in the concrete boat, the concrete igloo,

•BY THE

WAY

by Beachcomber

CURIOUS case is down for henring 'before Mr Justles Cock/carrot, It concerns feoffment with livery of sojain, recape, burgage, petit serjeanty and frankalmöign.

It to sted as Tulliver Lant Tenure Ltd, Mrs Rowton, Mra Coyle and Duckford Gas Hold- ings versus Enid Sprew, Long- | button Development Trist and Captain Aylesworth, Sir Graham Corton intervening.

1

The defendants have latel claim of cestui qui veuit and ebitnon enrolment, having re- gurd to the nullity of certain In- corportal itoredītaments. Tho plainlista pleud non-Execution, Con-engrovment and improper conveyancing inter vivos and t loco ret,

A question of litter

THE

THE town which is protesting against being uttered with posters about litter should isstre its own anti-litter-posters.

At the end of a month every- one would have Corgollen the genuine litter in the excite ment of tearing down

Caving in

the

and

streets the

supporting the postern

& manding

по

more ponters protesting against the protesis

against

the posters supporting the anti-tter posters,

Bradshaw

TE death of Bradshaw's Rull- way Guide recalled to me Alfred Lester, the lugubrious comedian. In a musical comedy he described how visited a very slek friend to cheer him up.

There were no books handy, so

climbing he read him a passage from blocks and other exeltements Bradshaw, "And when I got to supplied by the nice LCC. You the 11.15 from Hull, he died." needn't worry about the river, "Anyhow," said a lady in th

one occasion, "Brad- An attendant will stop stails on him pushing people into it. shaw's hardly sick-rooni reading.

I don't see the point." -(London Express Service).

London Express Service),

either.

Just Fancy That!

N insurance broker is offering a 10 per cent cut in car premiumz to_non-smokers, Says 61-year-old Arthur Harrison, from Birmingham; "Non-smokers are cautious and careful — betier insurance risks than non-drinkers,”

100

e/ce