1961-07-01 — Page 12

JACOBY on BRIDGE

RASICALLY you need the equivalent of an opening

bid in order to make a lako. out double, but that does not pean that you should make a toke out dutible merely be- cause you have an opening bid.

When you make a take out double of one major suit with- out preparation for the other you are inviting a visit from the undertaker and that is just what North did today.

Ils correct bla was to pass after West opened ivill one spude. If he had done so East and West would probably have reached ratre in no-Trump, With a diamond opening they would go down; with any other lead they would make it, but

TRAVE

THE CHINA MAIL,

BY

ACKYS DRYS

BAST NIGHT MOMMY Daddy RentiD a BABY Sitter

So they Could So out,

SATURDAY, JULY 1, 1961.

Mendelson JACKY Mendelson age 33/2

/WHEEL

be BACK BY 12 A clock.

ok.

ONLY INSTEAD OF going

SLEEP i Snecked DOWN-STAIRS PEEKED

Boy what a JYP!,, Instead of SityING ON THE BABY, SHE WENT + SAT ON THE COUTCH!

TIPPY-

TOE

ALSO SHE USED UP OUR TELIVISHUN BY WATCHING! A BUTCH of MUSHY STUFF!

•WITH LOTSA KISSING 4 JUNK,

BY THEN Daddy WAS SO GLAD TO

GET RID OF HER That He Paid

·HER MONEY.

To Go HOME,

| Next She WENT & TRIED on,

all of mommy's Perfoome

sqwixt!

Then She used OUR TEL OPHONE 6 CALL UP ALL OF HER FRIENDS.

BLOB,

BLOB

D

BLOB

ALSO SHE PROMISED She Would Change The BABY, ONLY WHEN ↑ PEEPOD in it WAS THE SAME OLD ONE

AS BE-

FORE!

Pritty SOON MoMiny:

Daddy CAME BACK, ADD VICE TO ADULTS

So i MaDE OUT LIKE

was A sleep.

1961,

King Features Syndicate, Inc,

World 'rights reserved.

5-28...

ENSTEAD OF Paying BabY-SITTERS TO WATCH US You Should Pay Us

TO WATCH Them?

JACKY

POCKET CARTOON

by OSBERT LANCASTER

NORTH 4A32

3

♥KO

• AX704

4032

WEST (D)

EAST 405 WAQJE

AKQJ76

75

◆ Q82

AA 103

GOUT!!

▲ 1094

J 100 AQJ97

100432

• 03

K64

North and South vulnerable

West North East Bouth

1 A

·Double Redbie 2 ❤

Paso Pasa Double Pus Pass Pass

Opening lead-✯ X

North's unsound" double opened the road to better things for them.

East redoubled to show the bulance of power. South, bid two hearts and East doubled that,

South played the hand to the hit, but all he could salvage from the wreckage were ve tricks, An 800 point penalty is far too zouch to pay for a sure Vare. This one was paid for à possible game only.

Itow about a two-diarnond overcall with the North hand? That bid would be far belter than a double, but in practice North's brst bid would be a plass.

V-CARD Sensek♦

West

14

Pass

The bidding has been:

North East Bouth

Double Redbi 14 3 A Pata

You, South, hold:

AQ98765 W35 970 4954

What do you do?

A-Bid four spades If you have confidence in your part. ner's bidding and your own dummy play. Obviously, there was something phony about the redouble.

TODAY'S QUESTION

The bidding has been: Weat North Bant South

Double 1 A

14

You, South, hold:

1

AKI VAST 03765 $10974

What do you do?

Auswer on Monday.

• BY THE

WAY

Which is Stuff Ladies usc

| TO MAKE THEM SMELL POOD,

ANGUS MCGILL'S

Mainly for Men

The chimp and

Lord Churchill:

who's teaching whom?

CALL it self-indulgence if you will, call it a mad, reckless pursuit of pleasure, a wilful flouting of all that has made our country great, but have just rung up Harrods and ordered a gnu.

I want one as a pet, have done for years. And it seems to me and that it Lord Churchill can keep great a chimpanzee in a flat in May tain dogs, feir, I can keep o enu in a flat) in Kensington,

It my landlord

objects

to

dachshunds, dalmatians, danes, Pyrenean moun- St Bernards. Irish wolf hounds, boxers and

sations.

Monkey are much mare popular with oran than with women, Men fir thein emusing, admire their indepen- dence and get attached to them, Women poony And them infu- riating. For OTY! thing they annol bo' house trained. "Ernie sometimes

s polly," says Lord Churchill and even sometimes is a triumph. Then they will tear down the curtains which won don't usually erge for and they have no inhibitions at all. "Menkeys whenever you LOOK do " sings Noel Coword and Indeed they do.

A chimp will cost you about £250, woolly monkeys which are nice things, affectitaste and

reliable, cost £60, aut babes ressing appearance, from £25

if you can get used to their dis-

to £55.

Dr Robert Kirk, the anaes-

A

thetist, has just got himself beby lemur. I have a feeling that Dr Kirk in for some eventful years.

Cyril Connolly, the author red critle, has had a few lamurs In his time

Con- and every noily-itur relationship has Women's dogs #TC poodler, ended sadly.

by Beachcomber my mat will tell him about pugs, pekes and poms, Afghan Lord Churchill's chimp. And hounds and salukis, Yorkshire about the man in Great Cun terriers and chihuahuas, berland Place whose python welcome guests in the hall,

READING of a gentleman who,

"In face of every difficulty. manages to keep up the old neistocratle life," I visualised the mice on his estate nibbling their Brie er Camembert in trape of inlaid ivery:

Ilis scarecrows are dressed by a West End tailer, who sends hús most experienced assistant to measure and fit them. At dusk, the head gardener changes them into evening dress.

When he falis In love, he orders his butter to carve a heart on one of the trees in the ovenue, with her name beneath it.

It was once reported to him by his head footman that there a burglar in the long Was gallery. "Tell Meson," said he, "to get Armitage to send Raw-

up

were

lins to me with a gun. And tell Linton to lay cut my tweeds," The young critica VERY revealing is the reply of a 16-year-old schoolboy 10 a reporter. "I have ripped

cinema

sold, he ccats," "and we've burned holes in thero, with' elgarette' enda, but

films only because the rotten.

CHORUS: What else wai there for the lads to da?.... They were mixed, up, frustrated Outlet for their energy. Keeping initiative alive IN reply to someone who "falls to see how money given to boys who have that at cards ar st the races can be described as charity," Or Sindri Alilck says: "Nobody who has rect the offi ful conditon to which an un- fortunate young. gambler redverd con possibly fall to be moved to help him.

is

hack

When he, in his turn, becomes a winner, he recalls what was done for im when his was out, and is therefore, only too willing that the;lovy' on his gains should be used to help his less lucky or skilful colleague. At least, that is what we hope,”

=(London Expren Keroles),

"We have never sold a single

about London's considerable chihuahua ko man-unless he alligator population and was buying it for his wife," EIYR about Mr Cyril Connolly's the head of one of London's beat lemur which made embarrassing pet shops. passes at aged female cloakroom attendants,

DIFFERENT

Men, I shall say, have been keeping pets ever since Adam's pet serpent got the better of Eve. Women keep pets, too, af course, but their pets

suntly different.

TARGET

Bre

FAIRLY HARDY

FOR

SIR ROY WELENSKY

A Hanuman Longurs

"A farge, tough animal, It seems to understand its and

privileged status vigorously fights its own kind as well as other animala."

Pape of Ravenodale Zoological Co. Ltd. at Bedford. "I don't care for them myself but some people seem to find them charm- ing creatures,"

They are cbulging in one way; "They are delightful pets they won't outgrow their tanks. when they are nice," he says. Put a Mississippi alligator into a "They cannot be ugly, Every awimining batil and it will reach thing they do is beautiful. They a5 feet. Put him in a' nine foot are very inteligent, affectionate weak and he will stop at about and fairly hardy.

Shocking though it may seem to any true-born Engman there are people about whe- how can I put it without giving "But sooner or later they all offence-who don't carc for get vindictive and begin to bite dogs.

people. I had one that bit anyone in uniform. Nasty bites

INSECURE

J

ате

very

eight feel.

LIKE FEET

"It's the same," saya Prpe,.. ash human beings. Or with feet." Anyway if the thingy Bo get too big Papa will buy them back from you.

FOR

MR JAIN MACLEOD

A Rhesus monkey;

The monkey par èxosl- fance, tough, resilient, long-suffering and Inganj-

the GUS,

mammal most likely to succeed.”

FOR

DR VERWOERD

A Probesela monkey! "One of the oddest in ap- pearance and in some ros. pacta in kahaviour of att primates, is 'indifferent to humans but drives toazer animals from its domains.**

FOR

LORD BOOTHBY

Lowland gorilla!

"Depalto its terrifying mion and Inimándo size no is: peaceablo and almost gontie."

FOR

MR GAITSKELL A West African · baboon! "These 'strange · looking monkeys, are Intelligent, co-operativa ocialiste. savannahs They inhabit and drier, areas and are Increasing not only don pita,

but because of the advanda of alvilisation."

The trouble with lernuts, Mr Connolly says, is that they feel an affinity with human beings without understanding the gilf Such a man Is Mr Milan J. between them sad us. Giver, an Aunclean. Ian happy Take dogs as an example. Men to my, Mr Greer runa

They see us all os big lemurs

If you do get a baby alligator an and want to be as ke us 03 lika sporting dogs, ueful dogs, establishment called

and find their or symin Fabulous hardy dogs, dogs they can take Felines in New York and past dimeult to make them mate with would be grateful if you do

persible. After

a while it is charm wears thin the sewermen ut and exercise, dogs that marks all his letters with the their own kind. They want to NOT pop them down your Tava- don't demand constant petting deathless words "Dogs

mate with human beings, This torry. Por." fussing and groaning Men's dog's are spaniels and "A dog is simply a

desire," says Mr Connolly, "is People keep doing this in New York and you hear hair-raising terriers, bozglat barque hounds insecure animal," he is reported rerely reciprocated."

They appear to fall in

love stories about ce saying. "It a dog has a per- with people and make advances, tors living it up in the sewers cnormous alliga- sonality it is the personality of a humin being you wouldn't When frustrated they go into a there.

fury and blie. Also they take Snakes want to know...

are also mainly for to drink. They get very fond of men. Pythons sell by the foot alcohol and if you retuse to give 10 a foot in London. They can деет affectionate and like to it to them they bite again.

curl round you but this is not who

It is because they love you. because, you are warın.

If they are big they ca's runain more popular with It seems to happen to all kinds strong and a cuddle may crush over of numkeys and pea brought up you so watch It. At least they women than with here. Bumse cals and by people. 1

also pecm 10 aren't poisonous and they are Siamese cats, though, are men's happen to birds. A diminguish fairly tidy around the house. cols. They prevent a challenge, ed biologist tells me that bud- Also they frighten people away A man likes to think he can perigors often appear to fall for more effectively

hired also get an Indian owl for six like old socks, they are, mossy tome things end a Slameny eat their owners and Try to court hood.

guineas, They are rather som and they smell. I think I'd; Ilked to let him think a

thun. Lord Grøy of Fulicdon Gavin Maxwell has his otters, bro peta but make few des rather have So do other wild decimate, Lord was said to have a robin who Edal and. Teko. He came back mands,

an alligator, than them. Churchill thinks he y tratalag kept trying to entice him into from five months in North Afri- Eric, his ch'empenzoz, but it is his own waistcoat pocket.

Bome men buy fruit bats al en last month and found them 10 guinessa poir. This com my opinion that. Ernie is train-. You are Mirly safe from * Uiriving, "Both In splendid pletely beats me. They hang up

one-alded love affair if you form," he told me.

HER

TAX

E

Rach word

A

Low many words of four friters or more can

letters 15

the equnte

In the Were T

La makten

the words.

rach letter

may be used once on 1,3. mult contain

The largo ictter, and there must Be at least one cen-letter word in the st. No plurals, no forelan

no propor DANSK

TODAY'A TARGET : 4 Worl

"wordų, very pool: It werde, #xositens. Bolution on Monday. MTKSTURUAYN BOLUTION; ako slling alien, alpha falo-gali KRČIOS KADƐ giant and glint klost KONE, ROKU "sost Insel InterDe EXTION IDE iplling mirai Kiljus inilina tana, tadas "Unen Chunk supe tutina tišina taas, telling London Express Service.

It is Mr Greer's view that cata like to be created rough. "That is way men make better cat-owners than women do," he Lanurs are not the only pets full into this alarming Whatever happens in Amerire, emotional confusion.

men

תנות!

gre

MONKEYS

MAKE SPLENDID PETS

for men in public life; ideas above.

Bad news about my gnu. cost

Ito is n mont engaging choose an elitgator, ér a Ňlle He brought with film 'n now all day by their feet lacking Horredsjanje. It will

£400 and, worse and worse,

• The detcriptions of there, nende a lorga paddock. Sp

ing Lord Churchill,

creature, Uda Emin, but very crocodile. Those unlovely even-poi, a lizard list, lopks like a ning-minded and be certainly turqa Java...popularity, which dragon. E trained on in, the hour, we had axlounda me, tha together. - I ́vüli have his troth marks on my thumbi

氤

You can't buy one of those in inonkéua, are from The Monitory: Ty: cancelled ardar:: Farewell We sell hundreds of alliga- London though you can get Kingdom, by Ivan 2. Sanderson, my lovely. tors in sezón," saya Mir flok other kinds of lizards. You can', Hamish Hayalion, 356/**/

The fools! Why can't they see the advantages of Integration with Europe?"

"Cuba. Generals.

Good

The Algerian Benaud's heavens, Fenwick.

gang.

these are trying times for

the West.

"Is it true, Sir Caspar, that our invisible exports are now so invisible that you've had to call in Jodrell Bank to find them!"

* Really, from the fuss the Socialists are making any "one would think that we were", going to "have-to have the Portúgtone, over-