1959-10-10 — Page 12

Page- .12

THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, OCTOBER · 10, 1959.

PRACTICAL

HOMECRAFT

Oh, who would be

an MP's wife?

But the ladies, who do all the work, and the public, who

bring the money, would

THE Government had been defeated in a snap division in the Commons One of the Whips rang round the homes of the absent M.P.s. In nine cases out of ten, he later revealed, the following conversation took place: rather have a Television Topper

Whip: Can I speak to your husband?

M.P's wife: He's at the House. Ever-loyal Whip: Oh.

This (alas, true) story represents the nightmare of M.P.s' wives of all parties with less than total confidence in their husbands' fidelity.

An M.P. always has a good excuse for being away from home, foa" days, for nights, for week-ends and sometimes even

wocks,

If he takes unfair advantage of this he is in little danger of being caught out, and the Whips do not betray even the most troublesome of their charges if they are delivered into thelt hands. (Perhaps they are not as intuhan as some say, or perhaps it's only that old conspiracy of silence between men,)

most

It obvious that the important quniiflention for being an' M.P,'a wife is complete trual in her man. Otherwise her lof must be an unenviable one.

Perhaps the next most impor- tant qualification és to be a typical representative of the electorats.

by LUCILLE IREMONGER

Author and broadcaster; who has served a fiva-yuar apprenticeship as an M.P.'s with. Her husband la Me Tom Iremonger, Tory member for ford North.

For this sue should bo mayoress akne starts emotional, illogical, Incapable of strength nine, loud

for No one joina her, not remembering explanation's

at this.

:

to sing, Joke, "I remember your name, and clear, but I simply can't recall your

even the face!"

It is at a charity bazaar. The M.P.'s wife is the opener.

The pillar of local society, the miraculous provider of clothes for refuges, seaside holidays for handicapped children, and com- forts for hospital patients, it the organiser.

more than a minute or so, and mayor full of obsinnte prejudices, The M.P.'s wife knows her Fortunately most wives are good husband never

sings (because 1- he can't) except ùi dumb show. What dues she do. Accompany the mayoress in duel, or assume she'll eventu- ally de away?

Wives who are kern On floying mad on hanging. and against vivisection, deer-hunt- ing the H-bomb and Prince Philip's playing polo on Sundays are particularly valuable assets.

The M.P.'s wife should keep all this for the breakfast table, however.

In the constituency qualities are called for.

The banquet

She accompanies her, plano, SHE SINGS

It is a

large assembly

And, like many good, kind people, she is atı absolutely on behalf of ruthless operator her causes.

TOXIS

I

loyal supporters, and onc of great disappointment at the

other

those

"My dear, our last opener,

Bectic-Crusher, of Lady

sbsolute stalls. She hardly spent twenty of moments lald.

The allence has fallen on everyone. pounds! . And now, shall quests of honour enter in pro- The ever-recurring stranger take you round?” cession, the wanten laden with rushes up with the lumphunt And what does the M.P.'s wife bouquets, long white gloves, fur,ery, "19] bet you don't remem- do when asked to provide A apes, and sparking evening ber me!" He is quite right. celebrity opener for the local bags, the men bedizened with The silence continues. What Association's epic annual medallions of municipal dignity, doce the MP's wife do?

bazaar? A political figure is The band strikes up "God Save I don't know.

stand, an impercable choice, and will The Queen."

brand-new feverishly culling over the old please the Agent and the Party.

SIXT

The

Helen Burke's

COOKING

COLUMN

VIXTEEN-YEAR-OLD Peter caught his last salmon just as the car arrived to take the family home from its remote holiday spot in the west of Ireland.

Jean-

In London, next day, nine, his mother, poached the fish and nine of us had the pleasure of eating it that even- iny-and what a wonderful ple- türe it was on its large platter. de- garnished with salad and corated,

Jeannine, the perfect work- ing-hostess, has served this kind of diah before, using gurnet or hake. Being a FrenchwomATE, she makes much more of our so-called common fish than we do, and all the preparations are completed before her guests arrive.

Let me give you the picture; The skinned salmon was placed diagonally across the platter, with potato salad at one side and stuffed halved boiled eggs on the other, both garnlahed with green and black olives and alloes of pimento-stuffed olives.

There was onion in the salad. too, simmered in a little olive oil so that it would not oust the flavour of the Bah

The anion itself was decur- ated is full length with a scroll of chopped parsley, a ruffle of Alleed tomato was tucked into Its gills and, for an eye, there was an oval slice of onion, centred with a siler of pimento stuffed olives.

Arestad the platter were slices of cucumber and tomato and s large bowl of green salad: wan. passed acpártely,

PETER'S

PRIZE CATCH

of any perly.

And when she has roped in a famous radio comedian,' whỏ is of the right party too (for and the afternoon, anyway). notices that he refuses lunch,

he never eats break last and talks only of his dearest friends who died of drink-what does she do then?

The ladies will offer him tea and delicious cakes at half past five.

When he is returned to his wife at seven o'clock, she greets the MP's wife, ironically enough, with the workis, stink- "Thanks, I suppose he's ing!"

Every constituency is unto Siself, of course. MP's wife is in the hands of her husband's good vr fortune.

ONE

PROBLEM:

WRAT .TO DO

WHEN THE

MAYORESS

SINGS.

came

That is the kind of dress A low

1 was myself in deep waters' worries Every problem which

the during my husband's first cam M.P.'s wife. The two rival and paign for a Birmingham rent.

A book of

cut mine i rumpant myths, that of the

pearl-hung Tory wife always during the 1950 General REXIOUS to be the most Election. The alty's bookshops The MP's wife goes in with expensive-looking woman on the gave it a big showing, and one of the of them displayed a huge banner the M.P., free of charge and platform, and that with no trade union hours. She Labour MP.'s wife who slips out acres its frontage bearing is expected to

in with of her mink and into her worn (our) sumame in 211-high Tory and frequently without cloth coat in the train on the blue capitals. him him. His faces are paid, but way to the constituency, are

both unduly romantic.. not hers.

come

PROBLEMS

* LIABILITY

my

For that we turn to MPs' frequently, liberally and dis- mother's.

BEST CHANCE

It is the would-be candidates

chance of eventually the Government.

remingly for their song.

ADULATION

for

brilliant bas grown noticeably younger every year since he got into the House, He matured correspondingly has

For another, what wife bas

able he bring not their wives bat

to rlyhi their molbers to selection com- ever been mittees who, If present form mother in sheer volume means anything, sland the best morate building adulation: even necessary reaching more therapeutically

for these poor punch-drunk In addition, my publishers splashed their advertisements in A very distinguished lot, the tribunes of the plebe than all the local papers. Their Liberace Group, as it is cur- the run of harassed husbands?

The mother of one traditional gimmick happened really known in the House-In to be a bold X against the fact, possibly the political group young Member

with the highest success. Most Tary wives I know are author's surname.

One can understand why. The problem of dress is one

manacled to their children, and , I learned to my, horror that oil that faces M.Ps' wives of

The (usually widowed) M.P. their mink-money goes to pay the whole of Birmingham was partire,

their nannies, if they can get laughing at the extraordinary mother, has everything to gain with his responsibilities.

in this game. Soon, perhaps, they may seem What does the MP.'s wife them, to tree themselves for electoral cunning of the Tory nothing to lose,

contemporaries 1.9 they Everything she does for her son like In the candidate's wife. when she has to leave their honorary duties

Strangers' sintuary Ümit to enriches 'life probably closing dine a deur in the home at 9 QL (in the rush constituencies.

Dining Room. hour) to reach

"coffee

the amount a candidate may in on her.

Certainly no M.P. and His Labour politicians, it is true, spend on his campaign, and this The M.P. with such a mother moning" in the constituency

Iine soom to have a nice

In bcludes publicity.

also has everything to gain, and wife present auch an elevating at 11, men over a coalmine or a

as they She can give picture as this pair wives,

от amateur

Would the Labour candidate nothing to lose.

cach trawler at 12, speak at an Inner model

try to add the cost of all this him (nearly) all that a wife can lean absorbodly towards

other ACTORS P table--He 23 Wheel luncheon at 1.15, attend professional. a windswept gymkhana at 2.30,

exacting to his

election but needs make no opponent's

clearly hanging upon her every In fact,

Tor Certain visit a mental hospital's psycho Minister notorious for his good husband got in,

my poor demands of any kind on him. expenses? Then,

he would be For one thing, MPs' mothers word as she upon his. therapy Ward at 4, drop in

no longer any of those looks was observed on my own unseated-a nice thing for an have a cocktail party at 6, grace a

M.Ps election platform admir MP's wife to have done to him! tiresome chores such as child- of the power behind the States- footbal

dinner club

ating the picture of the cover-girl It is a sobering thought for bearing to contend with. They of Destiny. support he husband rather rough political meeting wife on the Labour candidate's MP's wives that, however hard are free as the wind.

election pamphlet. at 8.30, and finish up at an evening dress and decorn- tions ball?

weat

at

A

Does she plump for an all purpose black jersey dress with different accessories throughout,

There

it

they try, they just fell short For another, they are usually of being the perfect helpmates independent financially 100, "Of course, that's no reason

They delight in entertaining for voting for the fellow he for their husb odded, just in time. "Our candidate's gai quite a nice one, too!"

or "Ly changing the back of Of course, now and then

the car in lane. and risk wife may be far from being a arrest? "Hazard.

A severe political help. She can even become an

electoral lability.

be

It's smart to punctual for work

in New York......

them for is 10d. each and pre- I worked a level teaspoon of interview in New York.

pared them in two ways,

FIRST: I cut off as much of the fat as I could and rendered it in a pan. I added the leaner parts of the meat, cut into two Anger strips, seasoned them

hand-

Ieva a vermiita operated chopper for herbs,

cooked vegetables, hard- boiled eggs, cooked meata, sust, cheese, fruit and nuta,

·wollh__/recipe-instruction

208.-60," from most stores,

Leaflet,

plain flour into the mixture

on

with tele-

1

Here is every woman's dream

man the all-in-all to the Man

It is an inspiring sight--for mothers.

-(London Express Service),

STORIES FOR BOYS & GIRLS

Sailing Down The River.

-Knarf And Hanid Made Themselves Very Small-

ONE

By MAX TRELL

To Knart and Hanid, the raindrops appeared to be is big as pals of water.

They ran dewa the street, side to dodging from side to keep from being splashed by the giant raindrops.

They saw an army of Anis marching in a line." Each Aut carried a bundle on his head. of the wonderful things

Then, all at once, the summer about being a Shadow in sky darkened The rain began stead of being a Chia is that to fall TIROM the moment you the clock. Good-enough-for-you can make yourself any size

Bit

the-office clothes simply did down

you please. the not exist and scruffy shoes had absinthe-coloured sofa 'you no place in a desk looker.

"Let's make ourselves small wish you'd never come.

The compensations were worth today." Hanld, the Shadow Girl considering: an electric type said to her Brolber Kart, That's the feeling at a job writer in a pretty pastel shade

or perhaps white

How Senall? An ura of super-efficiency and stirred in pint hot water.srounds the personnel depart phone to match, a boss with tycoon-length lurich-hours, free

"How amali?" Knari ment and the actual business soft drinks, central heating and his sister. After simmering the lot for

and typing test a high salary few minutes, the delicious the shorthand

A trifle disco residue from the pan had been has all the tension of being in certing was the soft music that

the witness-box. absorbed by the liquid

But once it's all over the job's played to you, regardless of your sald Hanid

taste, throughout I turned the mixture into the yours and the rest is easy. All Rather

"day.

That's not very small," said sophisticated casserole, added mere salt and you do is fill in the forms and

factory.

Knart. "Let's make ourselves freshly-milled.

pepper and look beautiful.

ĝas emali as a match stick." 71⁄2 lb. potatoes. "I baked the

The net result of American Hand agreed, dish, covered, for 1 hours at

training was a stream of elegant, A few thim.res later, twr 350 deg. Fahr or gas mark be

eficient girls who (even if not shadows the size of match sticks tween three and four,

that food at typing) had were walldog down the path soothing manner over the tele that led to the wall at the back phone.

of the garden.

This dish, without the peas, cost under 3s for four persons,

SECOND: Simmer the breast gently in water with a carrot DI u onion until the bones Press can be removed easily. the meat between two ennenel trays or dishes, then cut it into two-finger strips. Coat them in seasoned beaten egg with a lit- tle olive on besten into it, then breadcrumbs, and fry them,

1.

SECURITY

like

the

Taking into consideration the

The forms will take you back no far as your childhood hobbles and promise all dinds of security with "hospitaliantic benefits."" A formidable typed sheet structs you (not merely Bug fact that each girl has more gests) how to keep beautiful.”

I worked as secretary for en money to spend then her op- advertising agency on Madison posite number in Britain, some Avenue once, so I got a list, too.

of her-kints are worth taking. First He was a priser bed deodorant; personal "freshness was of primary importance.

ONE WAY.

They hid themusives umelor a fallen lost until the shower asked ended. The leaf appeared to

be as big as a tent.

Then the sun came out. C

Sound Of River

"As small as a clothespin,"

Crept Outside

They crept through a hole in the wall and there they were, front out on the pavement in of the row of houses.

"Just look how enotnous those houses are!" Kuart add to his sister."

Hank leaned her head back Next Hem: a newly-hundered

and looked up at the top of the [chimney of the nearest hotind |shirt every day. The boss - WAN

expected to air his congslæfnt."in There is only one way to look, "It looks like the tallest bull"- this was not rigorously adhered and it is to look your beeting in the work, she end.

Net item: No coloured nols- polish. - Chipped ensmal Was:

to

You never know whom you might meet,

Since beauty, like charity,

Have as a motio;

of Hikely to promaty ulcers and plouts at tope, the secret iles in

in

Looked Enormous

The blades of grast sold the privato territory of the dunes 100 Cuban The bushes, looked drawer. Here' should, be

supply or some into duplicated keres Buch tree looked like

Forest supply of mine up to that at

#Hanid! Look at that Ikon sp home, a sprayson cologne, a te jede doodormit, * Clothes in the trees and Kraf

and a bottle of all-gh

Jphn, the father of the

THE fact that millions

quiet note of wihonesty would be familly provided. deliciously with salt and fled them until crumpets are will eaten frant Chateau Chamboureau, they were brown all over the time-honoured way proves appreciated. Lastly: Punctually 1256. This is a Loire wine from When most of the fat had been their popularity.

Any rebellious feelings, sun the Bavennlerés district and cooked out of them, I put them They make a nice breakfast,

flow:him wisite wines of that in comocols with a little hot Jepped with a slice of bacon fured by a London sense of easy, pers Tharice, is excellent water.

and grilled with the fat aseping. After pouring off the fat and into them, or tousled blared come-and-go were annihilated so few people buy bresset of diperding the bits, I sprinkled and read with scrambled eden once, sau, how much the lat

Some people, foór w midday igycic, Isumb thora daw that it is a teaspoon of mug into the ever cop them with booked was taken to hegyes puting up in the shops, and that pan and cooked it to a warm miced beef and onions calle does not help us with the cost of "Guzman," "}

My For a quick awout: konst:Bien, the remainder of the animal," ",

Next, Wynddod 19 tiny ontoos, bumit and top them with ampari to slope isto the emotive Jobrand, if you want to be a Breast of Lamb la sweet ment 1⁄442, carrófa, dứt late einge on singer-flavoured agrup. Pikule waele; I bought two or a dessertspoon of tomato pyroo.

|| mérnatos, Krón: mine: pot

“A ipaře pair of stoddings and “olsan, white gloves are bound tá Come to the rescue Entre NG

Hanid looked up into the tres,

the mal thera meant and burnt out. Unlightens

"Tễu not a Lion ut KELI 31'm a HOMESPRING KOm muddeltag

Airplanes. So my blo

Tawy as Crickets as big

"I hear the sound of a river," Knart said to Handid,

A Sparrow looked na big ne an airplane to the Shadows.

es tail Re the grocs they was

that bushes and the bushes were as tall as trees.

They waved to the Sparrowe that were as large as Airplanes and to a Cricket as big as a Horse and to an army of Ants with bundles on their heads, until at lent they reached the odge of the rain lake.

Hanid Istened. She plainly heard water gushing and splashing as it flowed along.

They found it! It was a rain Knart and Hand both stood river! It flowed along the edge and looked at the lake, then of the pavement to a huge rain they both looked at each other lake in the middle of Mrs Mar- and laughed, tin's garden.

"It's not a Ikke at all," saki Then Knarf and Hanid made Hanid to Knart. “It's just a a boat of a place of bark with rain puddle!"-

a leaf for a sail and went skin- "It's wonderful to be análij" ming down the rain river past sold Knart, to Hadid.

·Rupert and the Outlaws 48

Aftze-thinking ebois shitsgs" for some time, the Chisi „hand-and-talena

Ruperts