1958-09-06 — Page 7

POCKET CARTOONS

'By Osbert Lancaster

"Either it's a false scent, or

cise one or two of the stags. round here are definitely abnormal."

"But could one fall to recognize La Belle Comtesse Lilehampton?!"

"Do you remember my telling you that there sucks a new spirit stirring among some of the youngerbards?"

WE

THE CHINA MAIL, SATURDAY, SEPTEMBER 6, 1958.

Ever done any shooting before? asked the host...but I decided to keep quiet about my triumph in the fairground gallery

I bag a grouse-and

It

lt ધ

now, to be

such a thing

instatre,

I know facellous bout

All round me for days the sportsmen had been gathering,

Rune

For weeks tweed-clad sples had been lurking on the moors,

My hust regarded me with the

that chill hostility Montgomery would have shown It cameone had interrupted one of lus GilQ. conterences with

tole bout an Irishman,

Englishman, and a Scot

pa

even the dog is surprised

by ROBERT GLENTON

e

any to Lave you ever done shouting: before?" he asked. My wanted. and turned to that cardboard Market ad once carried home irom Hampstead Heath, with

Some perforated heart. thang. I'm not quite sure wha,

il me not to boast of that,

ON SAFARI

reflected Tavult down

who

Ine!

me

that I wasn't really

we saw

Up the mountain read drove, ahead of the main party. We heard the other gentle Two sleeping pills later I was men before

them. sitting bolt upright in bed listen. Firmly they matched along the

1a the dogs 1 hud thought that the con-

howling lane, their impressive handmade versation had lingered for Pritsusly in the kennels below shooting boots ringing on the inordinate length of time on

Morning has never taken so fellows who would never Invited again, on mahlaws who long to climb over a mountain. Gred along the line of instead of straight ahead," and on weaklings who had carried home.

Lu

Kun

been

Ko the point

MY THEORY

stones.

Thiev were an awe-inspiring sight. The cummander, the the sinister wing-commander, captain, the stockbroker, and a burly Frenchman who carried his gun like a fully-pald-up member of the Maquis,

But really on the neurotic

Now I have a theory in silua-

One must ul-

They had bandollers, tweed in Herefordshire when the moustached captain ons like this.

ways make an ally E one afternoon turned to me and showed

of the ex- maps, plus-fours and, dogs alton-

went In pert. Steal-hily

case. Even my host laughed had said: "Mind that man.

It

will cost you £400 if you wreak

It."

Ht: gave me a handful of cartridges. I tucked them in my trousers pocket and a mo- ment later we were climbing hrough the heather. Nervously I took my smouldering pipe out of my mouth. Soon I was

for frantically searching mong the cartridges. I the cartridges out one by one in see how many were on fire. Happily nobody notleed except a baleiut Labrador.

look

Info a bog we plunged. Soggy sucde is usually unhappy fact- wear but I was grateful. It mode a peculiar sucking noise which hid my wheezing.

"You had better load now,"

Billy

Bull, stepping sinartly away.

noliced he said was not half, so fast on his feet as the Labrador which took one look and got behind him,

ERUPTED

Suddenly the ground in front of the wing-comman- der erupted. He fired, and down tumbled the first grouse.

neethed and bubbled with briứn feathered hysteria.

Billy Bull said afterwards that there were eight grouse,

I was too busy to count. I was trying to get my right arm out of the sleeve of my plantle mac, to release the safety catch, to get the lust of my gun dis- entangled from my armpit,

I heard it go off. I saw a KKOLAD festilate, sac, d.dk topple into the heather. "Good shot," erled the stock- broker, "a beauty,"

"You didn't

know much about that, muttered Keepdr Bull as the astounded Labrador

my grouse, at dumped the feet...

Even the birds eyes looke amazed as they filmed.

I paid no heed to bloca pour- ing profusely from my right thumb which the safety caich had viciously sliced, and I did not feel the ejected car.ridg case at all na it crashed against the bridge of my nose.

The

I 'BEAMED

others could go on if I had made my they wished. mark. So down, back over the moors I strolled, my feet Hight, gun under one arm,

and the Prouse dangling In my hand. I came across a lonely ittle pub.

The occupants were very dyl, "Good shooting, sir," they smiled: I beamed at them and bought them all a drink.

"It's

a funny thing about Tammy Davis's old grey mare," off they said: "Never comes

for bad moor except

down. weather, but she came

Ut

when i was carrying a service blue, lump on the back of his

escape hand. "That." he said menaç- search of headkçepen Billy But lively obedient as a convention And just na suddenly the grout the morning right enough, on

rijje and was lucky to

E stood on the ter-

race and watched with his life from what he ob- ingly, "is a shot I collected from keep I there the sunset.

Below us, italy regarded as the opening ve dain' fool.

the North African cam to show the next madman I

shoot, sign. I decided not to mention meet on

He'll beo at either, I simply said, "Well, more than that, 100." Letore." I did add; "But

in Lake Vyrnwy, only fly-snatching trout shivered the still image of the fire in the sky.

Blue shadows Word flowing down the slopes of the Montgomeryshire mountains. And on the moors was pageant of red-gold and the rich purple of the heather. I turned to my host.

"Tomorkow," I said I would this like to do my duty in bable with the grouse"

I haven't done this sort of thing

ten on safari,"

havu

There was no purpose in explaining thas, no far an I know, I am the only man who has emerged after three weeks in darkest Africa with only his own skla aɛ a trophy.

"Very well," said my host,

Bid you a gun."

I think it was over dimer Uat night that it first occurred

Why Spend All

This Money

Moon?

On The

Asks TERENCE FEELY

THE first American attempt at molesting the moon failed. Cost of the rocket itself was £3,500,000. The same sum would have bought 70 of the latest deep X-ray machines, or a thousand life-saving heart-lung machines.

19 anything and £500,000,000

could

nourished whlie the satellites streak overhead.

to

What the east of the rocket it not be aner to spend, our putting one world was in terms of labour and re- money on

"The cost of atomic power search only the Pentagon knows, tonight before we start lusting

stations suitable for such pro- But if is certah that had such efter another?"

The cost of pulling up jects," a noted scientist told me, effort been directed earthwards

Sputnik irstead et skywards it would fres

is £100,000,000 aplece." towards between

Such costs are supposed have gone a long way

1,000,000,000,

be prohibitive. solving any one of the major

But no, ap- problems still besetting us here,

parcully, for the fireworks For the same sum we' slari the Sahuru blossoming. the Space Age. Deserts Can Bloom We could irrigato and fertilise These problems may be duller the great Gobi desert and the than that of hanging a rocket on inconceivable wastes of Western the moon. They are certainly Australla, ond make up the

more vital.

world's food deffelt.

And the question ordinary Two-thirds of the world's

still people are asking is this: "Would population

*

• BY. THE WAY

by Beachcomber

TOBODY was more surprised A

raven which

under

nested in

Νο than the librarian when public baths at Axminster has

bounds dashed into a publie been taught to read by three Ibrary in Devonshire and began old lawyers.

to worry several volumes.

of

of

For the cost of a couple years' Sputniks, we could give such a power station to every country in the Middle East.

difference such gifts would make to these countries standard of living would. do more for the stability of the area than any of the hand-outs of money and arms they net from the Great Powers.

Bitter Absurdity

Let Lord Boyd-Orr, world cutrition expert, point out the kilter absurdity of the situa-

on. He told me:

"Whatever Governments may

say, the main object of getting Police are anxious to question out into space is a military

And the world bill for

todny running

A false trail of chemicals had a mon who complaind of head-on. been laid by a lowbrow, There aches, and was found to have armaments

ot

are also reports of cardboard jagged bits of charcoal in the the rate of £43,000,000,000 a stags being dumped in the track ning of his hat.

of the hunt, the loosing of sack-

year.

"For more one-tenth of that the New weapons

stum we could barish hunger bounds, and the stampeding of I READ that one tanker can from the worl crowds of Ri-assorted dogs or pollute a

sea area of 100 years."

Auts of ferrets

2

il

Silently I went to bed.

There was no refuge there.

We collided in the doorway, Wis nothing stealthy There about his search for me. He had just heard I was to walk next to him and he was very anxious to see I could tell the butt from the muzzle of a gun.

The secret of

of butlers.

I was not quite to Impres- rive as I was wearing Tuede shoes, grey annet treure fucked into rather splend socks, and a plastic raincoat,

They were very decent, they fried hard to put me at my

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every breed over the country- square miles by pumplug oli side. As a grand finale, tho into the sen. That suggests a whole mass of hounds, mongrels, new wenpon for ruining the epidemic diseases for ever.

"Some people, frightened of an and ferrets suddenly, in a con- bathing-sults and killing, the

and fish of, a potential enemy;

increase in world population, corted movement, turbed Touted the stag-hunters, A man forcical weapon similar to the welcome the pruning effect of who

even for them Brucerot, was nipped by a dozen Strabismus

The disease. But ferrets said ruefully: "Sport is Doctor suggested that a sub- Lord Boyd-Orr has an answer:

"Provided we tunce called bracerot would rol

spend the not what it was.”

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everywhere

ESCRIBED CAR

DES

dealer whose hobby is akla ning moles, Arthur Foole, 41.

of North Mimms, got his foot EAR SIR. If mice are to take

stuck in a stove-pipe in the early Eours of yesterday. Firemen

the place, of scientists in liable to the moon, why not

sent numbers.

These projects are entirely feasible now. They could be administered by the United No- tions and tho. Ruasians could come in with everyone else,"

released' him, but he got stuck lecat the scientists like mice?? "To the politicians such

twice more.

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in front of me crupled too.. So did my gun. The most surprised skylark In the world rocketed up to safely high overhead.

Ôn and on we went.

I was in a coma of heat and exhaustion when the blur of in front of me the heather

Parabolic mirror at Montlouis, France for solar energy research

a lovely day like this."

Not even my host looking baffled Into his port that night quite compensated me for such on the A horrid lack of taste

0. дл part

animal one is brought up to regard as a best friend.

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